Am I getting blown off or am I over analyzing?

[Anonymous]

I have been seeing this guy for a while now and today he texted me that he was going through a lot right now and that he was sorry.
I don’t even text him a lot, I do me. I did nothing to him, all I ever was, was nice to him.

[Flatmanlewis]

Sounds like you are being blown off. Doubt it was you though. It could be anything from a private issue he needs to work on, to another woman coming into his life, to he just lost interest. Just move on and let it go. It happens to everyone at some point.

[Asker]

How? When we were having a conversation on Thursday…or when he said he was getting me soon to go out? Then this conversation happen: Me: Good morning! I wanted to express my gratitude for the compliment you gave me recently. My apologies for not acknowledging it sooner. I hope everything is going well with you. Him: That’s cool I appreciate it Yea I just have a lot going on right now, I’m sorryMe: I understand, I am sorry that you have a lot going on. I sincerely hope you get through it.

[Flatmanlewis]

I don’t know what to tell you other than my gut instinct reply. I’d suggest you ask him directly but it does sound a little like a blow off to me.

[Asker]

What does your gut say?

[Flatmanlewis]

It says you’re being blown off.

[Asker]

My thing is why not be a man and just tell the truth! Like damn I hate liars…I told him on our first date that I hate liars. And if he wasn’t interested anymore, he should have said something Thursday or last week instead of continuing to entertain. I regret sleeping with him in that case…fuck him. I am sick of men playing games with me. Be a fucking man about it…36 still acting like he is in his 20’s…be a fucking man and say it.

[Flatmanlewis]

Couldn’t agree more. Sadly, age is not an indicator of maturity.

[Asker]

I am not even looking anymore…I wasn’t even looking before I met him. Now I am just done with dating as whole…because hasn’t been working for me.. and plus I wasn’t even texting him all the time.. I gave that man his space.

[Flatmanlewis]

Funny thing: When I absolutely was not looking and just categorized women as temporary and disposable pursuits the perfect woman walked into my life. Sometimes it’s when we don’t care at all that things happen we never expected or planned on.

[Asker]

Well, I am done with men as a whole. I said my peace, that door is closed

[OlderAndWiser]

It is impossible to know his motivation but he clearly isn’t interested in a long term relationship with you. Has this happened to you in other recent relationships?

[Asker]

It was the first time I heard the line ‘I just got a lot going on right now, I’m sorry.

My exes never blew me off, I have had mutual breakups, I have had two exes break up with me they weren’t ready…three came back.

[spartan55]

You left out important details

[Asker]

Me: Good morning! I wanted to express my gratitude for the compliment you gave me recently. My apologies for not acknowledging it sooner. I hope everything is going well with you. Him: That’s cool I appreciate it Yea I just have a lot going on right now, I’m sorryMe: I understand, I am sorry that you have a lot going on. I sincerely hope you get through it.

Thursday we was good, but his mood changed today. I didn’t even text him a lot.. plus I am more of a in person speaker…things were good when we would go out…laughter, smiles.. kisses and hugs. I did absolutely nothing to him but be good person…when he was feeling under the weather I checked on him and I was emphatic and when he told me that he got a lot going on right now…I was understanding hoped he get through it.. I am not a bad person.

[spartan55]

How long have you been together? Monogamous? friends with benefits? Fuck buddies?

[Asker]

We were going on dates, getting to know each other. I only slept with him once on the second date. Was supposed to see each other soon again…but that’s not going to happen since y'all said I got blown off. I rather he would have told me the truth instead of telling me a bull face lie.

[spartan55]

Hold on, I don't think you can say he is blowing you off, yet.

[Asker]

Ok. Still, he could have just been honest and just say he ain’t interested anymore. I just yesterday I had to tell someone to stop texting me because his only job is to take me to my appointment and then back home and that I wasn’t in a damn mood to talk to anyone.

[spartan55]

Okay, people do this all the time. Men and women do this to avoid confrontation. They think if they were honest with you, that would flip out on them. (especially if you had sex) It's maddening, and I think almost everyone has had it happen to them.

[Asker]

I don’t like confrontation either, but there is no need to feed me a line. Just be real, I am not mad at anyone but myself. I have a lot going on in my life myself, but I was upfront about the shit. We grown, and told the person that I didn’t like being lied to. I am honest with people, I don’t sugarcoat shit.

[spartan55]

Why do you think he lied? Maybe it was what he said.

[Asker]

I can’t read people’s minds. But whatever, I am deleting his number and blocking. I don’t need people like that in my life.

[spartan55]

What are you talking about reading minds? He told you his reason.

[Asker]

No. He didn’t. I am not a fragile doll.. just be honest

[spartan55]

Good lord, you don't know that. You just didn't like his answer.

[Asker]

Nope, could have been honest. I told him the first time we met in person that I hate liars, honesty and communication is important. I have already been through so much shit…along with misunderstandings and miscommunication.

[Asker]

And I sent this: I am saying this with the upmost respect for you. But that line you feed me yesterday is what people say when they aren’t interested in a person anymore. You could have just been honest, I would have been backed off. This is why communication is important in life period.

[spartan55]

'Could have been honest' what would have been an acceptable answer for you?

[Asker]

I am not interested.

[spartan55]

But that wouldn't have been honest if that weren't the case. You act like that's the only possible reason...🙄

[Asker]

Saying that I am interested anymore to a person is not that hard. I have been honest to many guys when I told them that I wasn’t interested anymore. If I am not feeling the vibe anymore or seeing something I don’t like about the person, i tell them in the nicest way, I don’t sugar coat anything.

[spartan55]

Yeah, I got it. You're 100% honest 100% 24/7...👍

[Sameone]

Because u didn't give him attention

[laly520]

u r being blown off

[Asker]

I have never got blown off before…I have always been told the truth.

[laly520]

it happens

[Asker]

Well it’s childish. Just man up

[laly520]

not all guys r capable of that so

[spartan55]

@asker
It's apparently quite a blow to your ego the way you are carrying on about it.