AITA for being upset my boyfriend is tired after work everyday?

[Anonymous]

To give context he recently switched to and hour longer than usual, it has really taken a toll on him as the past couple weeks he makes me pick him up from work at 5:30 then goes straight to sleep after about an hour. The reason i’m upset is bc as soon as i leave, which has been about 2-3 hours after i pick him up because he just falls asleep and doesn’t wanna wake up, he magically wakes up and stays awake all night. Then he barely texts me as he does the same all day while he’s at work. I’m starting to see red flags but i wanna give him the benefit of the doubt bc he has a labor job. Am i asking too much or am i reasonable for feeling like i’m losing my boyfriend? I don’t want to hold him back from working so i haven’t said anything, but should i or am i overreacting?

[Mr_twoface]

I believe in any given relationship there is no such thing as wondering if one is reasonable or asking too much. Since you are spending most time of your life together with someone who you claim to love, you should also address any concerns you may have. I don't believe that one might be overreacting or should keep things to oneself. You are in this exclusive relationship, cause you fell for that person and hence should be allowed to ventilate any thoughts, feelings and emotions one got. Instead of letting your boyfriend slip away or like you said seeing red flags, you should communicate this with him. Talk to him on the weekend when you both are relaxed and have had plenty of rest and share your emotions.

Ventilating emotions and feelings is never easy nor soothing but its the best outcome for any healthy relationship. See where you are heading. Patch it up where it is possible and work things out for both your sake. If it turns out, you need to go separate ways, its sad but at least you can do that rather than wasting your time.

Good luck with it and hope it works out for you guys!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, that does sound super annoying! I can see why you're feeling upset.

On the one hand, his new work schedule is probably seriously draining him so he's just crashing hard after. Labor jobs can really take it out of you.

But at the same time, the fact that he magically wakes up right when you leave is a red flag. And the lack of communication during the day is not cool either. Makes it seem like he's deliberately not making time for you, you know?

I think it's fair to bring this up to him calmly and just be honest about how his behavior is making you feel. Tell him you understand the job is tiring, but the relationship is important to you too. See what he says and if anything is actually going on besides exhaustion.

If he's not willing to compromise at all or makes excuses, then that would be more worrying. But give him a chance to explain his side first. Maybe set like one night a week where he has to stay awake with you as a compromise. Communication is key here. Don't hold it in or it'll just get worse!

[Zoeysiren]

Honey, of course not! It's totally normal to want some quality time with your boyfriend. Everyone needs to unwind after a long day. Maybe try talking to him about it! See if there are ways you can spend time together even if he's tired, like cuddling up for a movie night or chatting while you cook dinner. Communication is key!

[jahaims]

He is tired from working hard and you are expecting too much. Communicate with him and see if he can change a few habits to squeeze in more time together.