How do you date knowing how few women there are that care about anyone beyond themselves?

[Anonymous]

This is a serious question. Relationships are give and take, that require commitment and understanding on both parties. Considering how few women have any intention of giving anything to relationship anymore how do you suggest a guy go about doing it. Guys enter into a relationship with the full knowledge that he's problem wasting his time and energy. Making it less likely for him to want to attempt it again. What recommendations do you have for a guy to keep his spirits up and actually want to attempt it yet again?

Only helpful advice please. All complaints and critical judgements will just be deleted. Thank you!

[DreamCrescent]

i hear you, actually, and totally understand where you’re coming from.
there’s a dash of excess negativity in your question thst would’ve turned me off, but whatever; you asked for grace and nonjudgment so we’ll move on


believe it or not, it’s hard on the other side, too. the dating scene isn’t easier for women. i won’t bore you with examples


every once in a while, though, I’m sure you come across someone who’s actually decent and worth getting to know. chances are, they aren’t single. at the same time, there are plenty of people in relationships that aren’t really all that, either. maybe that's a hint, that true kindred spirits are few and far between?


i think that’s literally the key. you’re not going to connect with everyone. and people aren’t automatically unworthy just because they’re single neither do people in relationships have more to offer. it’s probably a matter of right place, right time, right people, right circumstance, all aligning. you can prepare for but you can’t force these things


there’s a song called “Jesse’s girl”, if you’re familiar with it. i think she’s a random girl. why did she end up with Jesse vs this other guy who is apparently head over heels for her. doesn't that say more about Jesse than the girl? one day, you'll be Jesse. meanwhile, seriously, you're not alone and you have believe it gets better

[Asker]

I agree with the right place, right time etc. But that only works if both are honest an open with eachother.

[Billlewis]

I hope this isn't too weird, but I firmly believe that selfishness is not only a very appealing personality trait for a woman to possess, but an essential one. That's not to say that you're selfish, but it would be quite appropriate, merited and proper if you were, in my opinion.

[DreamCrescent]

@Billlewis i wouldn’t say it’s weird. To each his own but i just don’t know what to say in response

[Billlewis]

If you're unsure of what to say in response, may I humbly suggest this phrase? 'I know'
🤗

[Screenwriter]

I believe there are just as many sincere women out there as there are sincere men.

The problem is separating the wheat from the chaff.

I'm all about meeting people who enjoy some of the avocations you do, so trying meetups is a great place to encounter people in sitiuations that are less stressful than dating. Join a softball group, a flag football group, a walking or exercise group, a film-lover's group..

When you meet new people and find a few you like, they intro you to OTHER people. Low-key networking is an easier way to go. And with meetups, drifting in and out of groups is simple and cost-free. There are even meetup dating groups. Check it out.

And my go to adage is, take time to know people and listen to what they say about themselves. When you hear someone say, and I've heard this before, I'm an asshole, or I don't want anything serious: TAKE THEM AT THEIR WORD. You can also say, well, that's too bad. I'm looking for a special person and I'm really nice.

Advertise yourself as what you are. It'll take some work, but look at a relationship as furnishing a house. You have to look through a lot of stores and over a lot of pieces before you choose something special. And it's a MUTUAL thing, which means it's even MORE difficult. That person needs to like you just as much.

Relax and emjoy what you're doing in meetups and in your life in general. Keep your antennae up: Look and listen. Good luck.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Mate... you want advice? Don't make an insulting generalisation and then ask women to reply kindly. It's like going up to a group of gay people and saying 'how do you live with yourselves knowing you won't go to heaven? 🙂 Please, be honest and respectful.'

Change your mindset if you want to date, that's my honest answer for you. Women can tell when a man is bitter, and they avoid it like the plague. If you aren't willing to go into the dating scene with an open mind, just stay single 😶

[Asker]

1. I'm not your "mate"
2. I don't want to date. This question isn't for me if how I wrote it triggers you then that's on you. I'm not bitter, again this is not about me I'm writing this for younger guys.

[Asker]

Like I said, "all complaints and critical judgements will be deleted".

[Asker]

Like I say. Your triggered hate does not a platform on my question. Any further hateful posts will just be reported. Thank you! 🙂

[wiltingrosepetal]

It's not hate to tell you that a misogynistic rhetoric you place online won't receive pleasant feedback from the group you are insulting

[wiltingrosepetal]

That's constructive criticism. Yet you deleted it because you can't understand the difference between hate and advice. That's your issue

[Nikki1989]

It is impossible to give helpful advice to someone so devoid of basic logic and common sense.

I really hope that is not your real age.

[Asker]

I'm not asking this for me hun. This is a site for men and women to help eachother. If you're not with that maybe just abstain from the conversation. Thank you.🙂

[Anonymous]

Hold on, that's a pretty harsh view! Most women are looking for genuine connections. Focus on getting to know who someone really is, share your own passions, and see if there's a spark. It's not about how many women there are, but finding someone who clicks with you. You deserve someone who appreciates you for you too!

[laly520]

simple by looking carefully in right places n taking lot of time focusing on actions n taking her past seriously
past says a lot about person

[Asker]

Agreed. Assuming she wants to share her past, or is truthful about her past. It really isn't that simple. I do think where a lot of young men make the mistake is just chasing a pretty face.

[laly520]

many r too superficial n not prepared for a serious commitment
goes for both girls n guys
the first thing they be thinking of is pretty face or hot bum etc then once they r over their lust they either cheat or move on
such type won't be any good if u r a serious person looking for genuine love

[RedInnocent69]

Sometimes you need to care more about yourself and prioritize getting your load off.

[Truthatanycost]

Simple... by not dating...

[jahaims]

By not being an idiot and weeding out the bad ones

[Asker]

Yeah I'm just trying to have a discussion about spotting the bad ones before wasting time or getting jaded.