Boyfriend going to festival without me?

[Anonymous]

This summer, my boyfriend is going to a festival with his friends. I told him that I‘m worried and sad about it but he already has the ticket so he doesn‘t want to cancel it. I know that I have trust issues because I‘ve been cheated on many times in my last relationship. What should I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that's definitely a tough situation. On the one hand, you can't control what your boyfriend does and wouldn't wanna be that controlling girlfriend type, ya know? But like, your fears are valid considering past experiences.

A couple things might help put your mind at ease:

- Talk to him and ask him to check in with you each night over messages/calls so you know he's thinking of you. That way you won't be worrying the whole time.

- Organize something fun for you to do that weekend too so you stay busy and distracted. Have a girls night in or a spa day, whatever you like.

- Remind yourself to trust him until he gives you a reason not to. Don't let past relationships poison this one. Every guy is different.

- Make sure he knows how much his reassurance means to you right now with your trust issues. A caring boyfriend will understand that.

And hey, maybe next time invite yourself along if there's another festival! Turn it into a fun couples thing. Absence does make the heart grow fonder as they say. You got this, girl! Communication is key.

[Asker]

thank you !! that sounds like a good idea! the thing is, the weekend after that, I‘m leaving to go to the USA for a year abroad with uni. on the one hand, I feel selfish for not wanting him to go to that festival if I‘m also going away and for such a long time (although I‘m not going there to party or anything) but on the other hand I feel sad that that‘s how he‘s going to spend my last weekend here. How should I deal with this?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, I can see how that adds another layer of complexity! The fact that it's your last weekend together before a long period apart makes it sting more. But girlfriend, don't feel selfish at all for having emotions here. Your feelings are valid.

A few thoughts - would he be open to postponing the festival plan by a week or two, so he can spend quality time with you before you go? Even just delaying it could help ease your mind. Another option is asking if he'll come visit you during your semester abroad, even if just for a weekend trip. That way you have something exciting to look forward to!

Definitely keep communicating how much this means to you and that your worries come from caring so deeply about your relationship. A good guy will want to reassure you. Maybe there's a compromise, like you spend Fri night together then he meets the guys Sat for the fest. Quality couple time is important here.

Try to trust that he chose you for a reason. Have faith your bond can withstand a temporary distance. But also don't feel afraid to advocate for yourself and what you need emotionally from your partner. I'm sure if you both work as a team, you can find the best solution that respects both perspectives. Stay positive - you've got this!

[Asker]

thank you so much for your help !

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem sis! I'm always here if you need someone to talk to or get an outside perspective. Breakups and relationship issues are never easy, but talking it out with friends can really help. You seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders - just focus on communicating openly with your guy, taking care of yourself, and living your best life abroad. This too shall pass. Stay strong!

[Anonymous]

You either chill out or you separate. I’d say you need some help in Lear ing to deal w your insecurity. If he’s going to cheats he going to cheat whether it’s when he’s gone or there w you. You can’t stop it.

[Luckycharms12]

He going to festival with friends. He can chest at home if he was going to do it.

[Asker]

yes but why would he go to a place without me where people party all day and get to know others?

[Luckycharms12]

Because he can do things without you perfectly normal and healthy

[CuriousMufuxka]

Chill out. Kinda lame he didn't invite you but summer is like 3 months away..

[Anonymous]

That sounds suspicious. Why didn't he ask if you wanted to go to?

[Asker]

I think it‘s because I would be the only girl in the group

[Opinion Owner]

If he wanted to go to the festival; he should have talked to you first.

[Asker]

yes that would have been better. but what should we do now? he said he‘ll maybe try to sell his ticket but I’d feel so mean and selfish if he does that because of me

[Opinion Owner]

The ideal thing would be to have you go with him.

[jahaims]

Don't be with someone you don't trust