Would you date someone who “disliked” you when you were obese?

[Anonymous]

So I lost all the weight, and now my crush likes me back.

He constantly kept his distance from me, and cut conversations short when I was obese like the image. Obviously he found me unappealing.

WOULD YOU GIVE HIM/HER A CHANCE?

WOULD YOU CONTINUE TO PURSUE HER/HIM, SINCE YOU ALSO LIKE THEM?

Date HER/HIM ❤️

Don’t Date HIM/HER ❌

A total of 12 votes were cast: 9 girls and 3 guys. See detailed results

[Ms_Facesitter]

Either works. I think it's totally fair to not be attracted to how I look. What wouldn't make me want to date him is the fact he cut the conversations short. If he all of a sudden doesn't do it after I have lost the weight, we know he's a superficial person.

[PeachyPie93]

I understand the person not being attracted to you before, but if he was rude or didn't even want to be your friend. Then no way, would I consider them for a boyfriend/partner.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I don't know. You're making it out like a complex ethical decision. I'm just trying to figure out if we're going to have fun together and start from there. I don't put this type of thought into these things.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My way might sound narrow-sighted like I'm not accounting for lots of past variables. I do. I just don't think very important if you can have a great time in the present and future, maybe even become lovers for life.

If I'm illiterate and start reading and become a master of literature, and women start to like me that previously didn't, I'm supposed to dislike them now? "You didn't like me as my true self?" Is my "true self" illiterate? They like literate men and I became literate.

If we expect to like illiterate men, then why should I expect them to treat me any body now that I'm literate? Like WTF do we really want here? You know what I'm saying?

And that's the simple answer to this question is WTF do you want? Why are you asking us?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

[*] If we expect [them] to like illiterate men, then why should I expect them to treat me any [better] now that I'm literate [...]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Like say a guy you thought was an idiot who dropped out of school wins a Nobel Prize for physics, and now you like him. Is that wrong? Or is it like you noticed something about him that you failed to notice before?

[Asker]

So this confused me immensely.
I don’t now what metaphor you’re making.

So you’re saying you would date a woman who previously despised you for being overweight?
Might’ve even bullied you and talked behind your back?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think I'm trying to navigate something convoluted in society which should be simple so I hope you'll forgive my convoluted answer. 🤝

Talking behind my back might be some points off. That's just kind an asshole, isn't it, whether we're talking obesity or anything else.

There's this thing I think where we're supposed to love everyone regardless of their body. And why don't we do that for the mind? There are people with learning disabilities, autistic, ADHD, sociopaths, psychopaths, BPDs, etc. There are people who think calculus is easy and people who think it's incomprehensible.

So my whole philosophy places a lot of room for forgiveness and the idea that people can change, just as people can obesity, that people who judge obesity negatively can overcome that too. We're all moving targets as I see it. But society makes this hard to talk about because everyone wants to talk about fixed targets.

[Asker]

Ok so you would forgive “her” and date “her”.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

If we all forgive each other in my ideal world. 🤝🙏😁

[jahaims]

Not being attracted to a fat person is reasonable. As long as they weren't rude to you previously.

[Anonymous]

if they werent that rude yea, if they kinda bullied me no