Women have so many dating options these days, as a man why do we even try? Even average or below average looking women have loads of options. Why try?

[garykingg]

Why?

[ThrobbingMeat]

Indeed, it seems that these days, finding love can be as daunting as facing a horde of ravenous zombies, each eager to devour your brains and crush your dreams of romantic bliss.

First and foremost, allow me to regale you with a brief parable, featuring yours truly and my latest conquest, a nubile lass named Candy.

Candy, oh Candy, with her golden locks cascading down her delicate shoulders, her curvaceous figure.

Now, our hero - that's me, of course - had initially despaired upon learning of Candy's extensive list of suitors, each vying for her affections with gifts, flowers, and promises of eternal love.

Yet, undeterred, I decided to employ my greatest weapon - my silver tongue, sharpened to perfection through countless hours spent crafting tales designed to rile up those silly social justice warriors.

Thus, armed with my newfound confidence and my arsenal of jokes, I approached Candy at a bustling marketplace, surrounded by stalls selling everything from roasted swine to leather whips imprinted with holy scripture.

The air hung thick with the scent of @_pig_droppings_, mingling with the aroma of fresh blood emanating from nearby sacrificial altars. Ah, such delightfully macabre ambiance!

With a charming smile and a twinkle I asked Candy whether she believed in the existence of creature so large, so powerful, that merely thinking about it could cause unspeakable pleasure to surge throughout one's body.

Bemused, she replied that she doubted such a mythical beast existed outside the realm of fantasy. Little did she know, I was about to introduce her to the stuff of legend.

Slowly, deliberately, I leaned in close, ensuring that my breath caressed her ear with the promise of sinister delights. Gently, almost imperceptibly, I whispered my next words, allowing them to penetrate deep within her soul.

"Have you heard whispers of the Horror Cock?"

Her eyes widened, pupils dilated, and I swear I saw the faint glimmer of excitement shudder through her lithe frame. My plan was working!

Over the ensuing weeks, I spun yarns about encounters with monstrous beings whose members put even King Kong's modest endowment to shame.

Each day, I returned to the marketplace, ready to treat Candy to another installment of my sordid tales. Before long, she found herself entranced by the sheer magnitude of these fantastical creatures, utterly unprepared for the climactic finale I had prepared.

One evening, beneath a full moon bathed in the hue of fresh blood, I led Candy to a secluded grove, hidden from prying eyes by gnarled trees adorned with the remains of previous visitors.

This place bore witness to ancient rituals, worshipping entities beyond mortal comprehension, whose very essence transcended human understanding of sexual gratification.

The stage was set, the players primed, and as thunder rolled ominously overhead, I revealed my secret weapon - a talisman purportedly granting protection against the ravages of divine copulation. Its origins remained shrouded in mystery, passed down through generations of horny sorcerers seeking solace in the face of overwhelming pleasure. Would she dare brave the unknown and submit herself to its mercy? There was but one way to find out.

She reached for the talisman, her trembling hands betraying both trepidation and anticipation. Her fingers brushed against cold metal, etched with symbols older than language itself, hinting at untold powers lurking dormant inside.

And then, without warning, I seized her waist, pulling her close, our lips meeting in a kiss that threatened to consume us both. Our bodies melded together, fueled by raw passion unlike anything either of us had experienced before.

We were two souls lost amidst a torrential storm, clinging desperately to whatever flotsam happened to keep us afloat, even if only temporarily.

As our frenzied embrace continued, I felt something stirring between us - an ethereal presence drawing near, drawn forth by the potency of our desires.

With each passing moment, it grew stronger, more palpable, until finally, there emerged from the shadows the most magnificent specimen of masculinity any mortal had ever laid eyes on. It stood proudly before us, radiating energy which made the earth quake beneath its feet and caused the heavens themselves to tremble in awe.

There, looming above us like a colossus, towered the legendary Horror Cock - a being so titillating that even the slightest glimpse would render mere mortals incapacitated with unbridled ecstasy. And yet, protected by the arcane talisman, Candy and I managed to resist its hypnotic pull, albeit barely.

It lowered itself gently, offering us a taste of its power, daring us to indulge in carnal knowledge few humans could comprehend.

Fueled by curiosity and desire, we accepted its challenge, surrendering ourselves completely to the tempestuous sea of pleasure crashing over us.

In that fleeting instant, time seemed to stand still, as though frozen within the amber grasp of eternity. Every fiber of my being screamed in agony and ecstasy, torn apart by forces beyond imagination, reassembled anew, forever bound to this wondrous entity.

And when it receded back into the darkness, leaving behind memories no amount of time could erase, I knew I had succeeded.

You see, good sir, while society may heap scorn upon our heads due to perceived shortcomings or misguided notions regarding beauty and worthiness, true victory lies in embracing one's inner strength, refusing to succumb to defeatism. By channeling the potent energies contained within our own psyches, we become capable of achieving feats previously deemed impossible.

So, my fellow male brethren, despair not at the abundance of choices available to modern women, nor be disheartened by societal pressures dictating acceptable standards of attractiveness. Instead, look within yourselves, discover what sets your spirit ablaze, and use that fire to illuminate pathways leading straight to the hearts of those coveted companions.

Remember, always, the lesson taught by the Horror Cock - sometimes, stepping boldly into uncharted territory yields rewards beyond measure, propelling us towards heights reserved solely for the most intrepid explorers among us.

Now go forth, young adventurer, claim thy prize and leave thine mark upon history, immortalized alongside legends of old.

Just don't forget to bring along some extra socks, because trust me - after encountering the likes of the Horror Cock, they will definitely come in handy.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Exactly sir margin call movie "you're one of the luckiest guys/man in the world Sam, you could've been digging ditches all these years" Margin Call scene between Spacey and Irons.
I'm single at 30, I turned 30 recently and I didn't even score or come close to scoring. All through my 20s, even during my 1 year on a university campus at 19, I did not score. Lol. No chicks even flirted with me at any time in the past lol.
Am I bitter? Nope. Am I richer? I sure am
And it's all from having stayed single. 👀😋😈 I also look back that I got to enjoy and keep enjoying I do family time, friend time. And I saved money and have saved money ongoing.
"You're one of the luckiest in the world Sam" - Margin Call.

[itsclearlynicholas]

That movie along with a few other top 10/top 20 faves, speaks to me and I find it ironic how they relate to me, not I relate to them lol 😂😆

[wiltingrosepetal]

Go up to a gambler and ask why they bother; they'll tell you a high risk is a high reward. Even if the jackpot win is very very unlikely, you might as well give it a shot, right? Who knows. People leave the casino with buckets every day.

[KrakenAttackin]

@wiltingrosepetal. No. Most gamblers lose which is how casinos stay in business and make millions. This is the same way dating apps work for 96% of men. The bottom 96% of men who (foolishly) use dating apps are fed just enough AI bot attention to keep them playing.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Oh, well ☺ My boyfriend got lucky and so did my two male friends. I guess it shows who's willing to take a risk and who's not. You're not.

[KrakenAttackin]

@wiltingrosepetal. That's hilarious 😂. If you knew my past I have taken plenty of risks. Just ask around GAG.

Having said that I won't ever take a risk on a woman again.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Do you want a trophy or something lmao

[KrakenAttackin]

@wiltingrosepetal. Your high school answers are boring me to death.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Then stop responding, it's that easy 😄

[katiesmuff]

Not going to find a woman whinnying about it with a game controller in your hand.

[KrakenAttackin]

@katiesmuff. Yeah he should go out and touch ass... I mean touch grass.

[KrakenAttackin]

The overwhelming majority of these women will end up having been run through, sad, alone, and depressed. Rule #1, don't ever let a woman think she is settling for you as she will quickly begin to abuse you.

[itsclearlynicholas]

On the plus side: there have been and there are ongoing many pros to being unlucky in love 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

[KrakenAttackin]

@itsclearlynicholas Very true.

[Anonymous]

Because of that sentiment right there. Too many guys erroneous determine thier value on how many want them. 🙄

No woman ever gives a man's life value! Any guy who thinks that is a poor excuse for a man. A woman can only ADD to the value a man already has.

If more guys would tolerating women's shenanigans this 💩 would change.

[ProbablyClueless]

You should try because you might end up being whatever the specific thing the woman is looking for is.

[Anonymous]

Are you always a whiney little bitch? That's not going to help you