Will he forgive me?

[Anonymous]

i met this guy on yikyak and although we never shared pictures or exchanged social media or talked on call, we described to each other how we look. i lied about my appearance (i’m overweight and not conventionally attractive so i was insecure). i’m (18F) talking to a guy (21M). we started off with just sexting. we caught feelings for each other and are still talking (since January 2024). the thing is that initially in the beginning i didn’t give him my real name or which city i live in. slowly over time, these lies built up. i didn’t think we would even talk for more than a week but we still are. he knows my age, where and what i study, but i lied to him about my name, where i live, my ethnicity/nationality (i’m a woc), what my parents do, sibling, what i look like, and some of my outfits. i also told him i have an ex of 6 years who cheated on me (i was embarrassed i didn’t have any ex when he has 2-3). over time as we caught feelings for each other, he told me he would like to meet me (he’d fly to where i study), ask me out, date me for a couple of years and finally marry me and have a family with me. i think despite these lies we have a real connection- we talk about our dreams and ambitions, our feelings, our favorite music and movies, we talk about books, about our families, our problems, our achievements and pretty much everything. i’m the only person besides his mom who he has told about what he wants to do in the future. we talk most of the day and sleep together on spotify jam. i made him a playlist and he made me one. this weekend he asked me to make a playlist for us to sleep to. a week ago, i told him i loved him and he told me he loved me. i genuinely love this guy a lot and want to have a real relationship with him. should i tell him the truth? if so, how will he react? or should i just tell him i can’t meet because my parents don’t approve and let him go forever?

YES

NO

[Anonymous]

Coming from someone who watched their best male friend be put through almost exactly what you’re putting your boyfriend through, please confess already. I know you never intended for things to go so far, but now you’ve dug yourself into a hole and this lie is becoming bigger than you. a catfish even. There’s only so many excuses he will accept, so many times you can get out of a FaceTime call or visiting in person. You know that.


If you really love him, let him decide. He deserves that much. Then whether he decides to stick with you or not, I’d say you need to do some real work on yourself. Whether that’s living a healthier lifestyle, going to therapy, etc, I think this relationship shows that it’s time for you to get it together. All these lies are you fantasizing and creating a character that you’d rather be, so why not start becoming that person? Bettering yourself so you don’t have to lie about your life online?


This should never ever happen again and you should do everything in your power to assure that going forward. It’s the right thing to do.

[Asker]

did the person who did this to your friend tell him the truth? if so, how did he react?

[Opinion Owner]

Over the 4 years he was with her, she only told him a few basic things and only really told him because he’d really pressed for it. However her “truths” were vague and secretive. For example he also knew what city she was in, that she had two siblings and a pet, she lived at home, etc, but those are such generic, basic pieces of info, nothing that reveals much. My friend had fallen hard for this woman so I think that’s how she got away with so much. She also did a fantastic job of curving the conversation to something else whenever it seemed like a question she wasn’t ready to answer might come up, or she’d build up some elaborate lie around it.

My thing was the constant excuses for not showing herself to him. For nearly the entire first year she used her sister’s identity, then when she couldn’t hide behind that anymore she cried and cried, said she was scared he’d judge the real her and etc. There was so much more to this but ultimately she never fully came clean and he chose to walk away after she got him fired from his job.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I can't speak for him but.. I wouldn't.. that should be COULDN'T forgive you. Once I've been lied to, that's it.. no more second chances!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Come clean to him and don't lie, be cool, dear.

[Avicenna]

Tell him the truth. And don't lie like that again.

[Iron_Man]

You’ll have to tell him the truth and show him a picture if not, you guys are not gonna trust each other

[Nikki1989]

Most guys would forgive.