Should men quit asking out women?

[Anonymous]

I always thought it, but this "men vs bear" trend pretty much seals it: Women don't like being approached by men. And I get it, everyday women are creeped on, killed, or SA'd by men, so it would make sense why women are scared for their lives when a strange man comes near them. So I think out of respect men as a whole shouldn't speak to a random woman unless spoken to. And if a woman never asks you out, there's plenty of jo material on the net.

[Anonymous]

Listen to all the girls reading this let me tell you something. I am 5 ft 8, athletic build, decent looking, loyal, honest, trustworthy, willing to give time/space, work 2 jobs, have my own place, cook good food, respectful (it goes both ways), I have a back bone so I won't tolerate shit if a girl is being bat shit crazy and immature. Every girl I have ever asked out I was either rejected or later said "no thanks", "you're not husband material", etc. I don't take subtle shots like that with women or girls and I think its incredibly immature and stupid. If a woman or girl says, "I don't know you well enough to be with you" but then will say "I don't have chemistry" or "you're not boyfriend/husband material", that only highlights her stupidity.

Any girl or woman who reads this will say, aww look, another bitter angry incel. So let me this straight, it's ok for women to mistreat men/guys, yell at them, insult them, insult his family, want her piece cake and more, pull the double standard vagina card. No wonder doctors say that many young women suffer from PTSD and other ailments left untreated. I've had my opportunities to have sex with girls but didn't because I am not some fuck boy. But then women and girls will throw out -- oh whatever you liar, then you're either gay or your dick is too small. This how western women talk these days, this is why guys have stopped asking women or girls out because why bother dealing with such a child, a brat, an immature person with trust issues, daddy issues, etc. I've learned

I'm the type of guy to encourage a girl im with that if she wants to pursue a PhD, I would be her number one supporter, you need a foot massage after work because your feet hurt ill do it, You want me to help your siblings get a job and put a good word out with my manager I will, you want me to buy you that fav cake place you like so much I will, sending flowers randomly to cheer you up at work I will, compromising and respecting you I will and more. But what I've noticed in life and online are, girls will read comments like these, only look at the bad, judge me as a POS and be proud and I would never deal with a girl in real life who's that immature. If there are girls out there who take pride in hurting guys, breaking his heart and seeking validation and attention then just understand something, one day God will put you through trials, errors and heartbreak as well, whatever goes around comes around.

[Opinion Owner]

another thing another with the idiotic phrases - alpha, beta, simp, does everything have to categorized? Did a bunch of internet trolls and university students decide to just make up words and ideologies to define something. Like geez, if Im a guy who works, has a masters degree, gets a hair cut thats short, wears regular clothes, believes in God, wants to be strong, doesn't care about chasing money and pussy, what does that make me? A regular human being with morals and ethics... omg would you look at that... shocking.

[Opinion Owner]

enough with the idiotic phrases*

[blueonblack22]

No you are mostly wrong.

Women still expect men to approach them because most (not all but most) are terrified about being rejected, looking to easy, looking desperate, etc. Also while some men don’t take rejection well women can really lose their sh*t when getting rejected. But they get more societal leeway to do so since they are “special”.

Women also have high standards about wanting “confident” men. So a man approaching them is a sign of confidence.

But the problem is many women want the right man to approach them at the right moment. They expect to have their minds read.

For a long time they tolerated being annoyed when approached by the wrong man and/or at the wrong moment. Then #metoo came along which was supposed to be about SA. But then it extended all the way to making a woman uncomfortable as #metoo worthy. Especially in the work place.

But I think some of them are now waking up to the negative consequences of what the asinine #metoo movement did. Men got paranoid about approaching and for good reason. But it’s usually decent men who got paranoid (because they are actual mindful about not wanting to make a woman uncomfortable). Trashy guys don’t care about how women feels unless they themselves can get in trouble.

So a long story short there are some minor positives coming out of this: more women are approaching or at least making it more clear they want to be approached.

But they still got a long ways to go.

[Boomchakalaca]

This is the animal kingdom 🦁 we want strong healthy peacocks not a 10 feathered peacock. If we dismissed ur invitation then go to the next woman

[blueonblack22]

@Boomchakalaca yes this WAS the animal kingdom. But some woke feminist peacocks decided they were “uncomfortable” and decided to lump all male peacocks together as potential abuser rapist peacocks regardless if they have tons of bright feathers, 10 feathers, no feathers, etc.

WOMEN are responsible for how men are acting right now in modern times right now. Not all women but too a sizeable portion of woke modern feminist peacocks equate an uncomfortable approach as no different then SA.

So why are normal female peacocks speaking up more and stomping on the butch peacocks who ruined it for everybody?

[Boomchakalaca]

I only seen those types of women on media and they either look like lesbian democrats or instagram fakes. Never came across one irl

[blueonblack22]

@Boomchakalaca well it’s doesn’t matter if you see them often (I have) but what matters is their INFLUENCE. They are very loud and get a lot of attention in the mass media and social media.

So when a guy loses his job and is publicly humiliated for sexual harassment all based on a unproven claim what kind of impact does that other men seeing that? You might not be the type of woman to humiliate (or worse falsely accuse) a guy just because he approached you (respectfully) and you found him unattractive.

But those women absolutely exist. How is an average guy going to know if you are like that or not?

You want a confident guy to stick his neck out and approach you? Fine. But don’t always count it. Women could do a better job and letting men know it’s okay to approach them beyond non-verbal “signals”. Just smiling and saying hello can go a long way.

[mandyfire98]

The point isn't about asking us or not asking us it's about doing it right. Not being a creep when approaching us. Not trying to sexually harass or assault us. Just acting like a normal empathetic human being is perfectly fine.

Women aren't choosing the bear because a guy asked them out. They choose the bear because there are soooooooo many men out there that are inappropriate and will sexually harass and assault women, that will approach women and be disrespectful and treat us like we aren't equal with men. Like we are only on this earth for sex.

The normal, respectful men who treat women well and aren't creeps that only view women sexually, never have anything to worry about and are usually even successful with women.

The answer however isn't "oh women are complaining about men's behavior, best not speak to them at all if we can't treat them disrespectfully and like sexual objects."

Respect women and don't treat us like shit and you'll be fine, I promise.

[Asker]

There are too many creeps in this world to the point that women are saying they'd prefer being mauled than risk a bad encounter with a strange dude (understandable). I'd say men leaving women alone unless spoken to is the least they can do, the they can start holding each other accountable.

[mandyfire98]

Men holding each other accountable is always an amazing thing and should be done.

Always stand up for what's right no matter what. If you see a guy treating a woman disrespectfully, call it out.

Doesn't mean that you personally have to just stop speaking to Women. Just be one of the good ones. Not one of the creeps or douchebags.

[monorprise]

The word "creep" @mandyfire98 doesn't mean anything beyond you don't like them. No man has any idea what you like or don't like. Therefore the point is it is not safe to ask any woman out until such time that we have clearly defined rules and procedures in which nobody can object.

[Haraklus]

@monorprise It will literally never be the case that nobody can object to... anything. Unless everyone is dead, I guess.

[monorprise]

@Haraklus No but it will be the case when someone tells that woman she ain't got no right to object to that man's honest attempt to court her.

[mandyfire98]

@monorprise

Bullshit, we all know what creepy and aggressive behavior is. The horseshit pushed by men that "I'm only creepy because I'm not a hot chad" is garbage and we all know it. The majority of people I talk to on a daily basis I'm not attracted to. I don't pitch a fit if they talk to me.

Stop with that incel "I'm too ugly so she'll have me arrested" goofy ass nonsense. We all know when men are being creepy, stalker like or just outright aggressive and offensive. We as humans know how to behave in society and how not to. You're the same type of guy Who sees nothing wrong with cat calling women.

"She ain't got no right to object to that man's honest attempt to court her"

She "ain't got no" 😂 good lord.
Nice, thanks for proving me right. Saying that women shouldn't have the right to not be harassed. That tells me all I need to know about you.

Men should be able to do whatever they want in any fashion they like and women shouldn't have any right.

Gotcha. Completely understand what type of person you are now. Good to know.

By the way OP...
This is the type of guy I'm talking about who will try to ruin it for you. This is the guy pissing in your punch.

[Rangers]

When most women these days bring nothing to the table besides sex, can you really blame guys for feeling like that's all they're good for?

[monorprise]

Sorry @mandyfire98 just because you and your friends have a specific idea of what is "creepy" doesn't mean the rest of us men both know it or all other women agree with said definition.

The dictionary definition is quite vague in referring only to how someone effect you personalty:
https://www.wordnik.com/words/creepy

This is why a lot of women use it that way, and what makes a lot of men "creepy" to a lot of women is simply the fact they don't like him.

The point is while it may be possible in theory for a man to avoid being creepy to YOU and your friends if and only if he knows what is creepy to you. It is not possible for any other man to avoid the same against any other woman.

Certainly not unless we agree upon strict protocols in which we can declare Nobody has a right to declare anyone following said protocols "creepy" or if so that is ok. Which frankly is what a large culturally diverse country requires right now.

If you want to dispute that fact otherwise you need to take it up with the people who write the dictionary or get all women on earth to agree on what makes them feel uncomfortable.

[mandyfire98]

Well here's the answer, if you have any doubts that how you ask a woman out is considered appropriate or not or respectful or disrespectful at all then just don't approach women at all. Ever.

Leave it to the men or women who know they are respectful and appropriate and don't have any issues with asking women out, even if they're rejected they're still respectful. Let them do all the approaching instead. They confidently know how to treat other humans with respect and decency.

They know something as simple as "hi, would you like to go have dinner or get some coffee sometime?"

And that's it. All it takes.

Now if you're scared of being rejected at all then definitely don't approach people for a date. Because rejection is part of it too. You're not gonna hit a home run every time.

But to think if you ask a woman out she'll physically attack you when you're being respectful?

That's fucking silly and we both know it.

[mandyfire98]

Or continue to use dating apps that don't work and is one big scam. Or just be alone. That's an option as well. But shit or get off the pot.

[monorprise]

@mandyfire98
I don't know how you define creepy personalty. But I can't help but wonder if you have talked to the guys you find creepy? I think you would find many of them do in fact believe they are being respectful appropriate within the bounds of their understanding.

The rules are indeed very different in different families and cultures. I have indeed seen women get creep by a guy saying exactly that: "hi, would you like to go have dinner or get some coffee sometime?"
It basically came down to the fact that she thought it was clearly inappropriate because she wasn't into him and he should just know that. You know like a lot of girls assume even their significant other should "just know" things.

I don't know if you have this problem but a lot of women do, and unlike you men have no idea who they are dealing with. Too many women in our culture are soo freaked out and scared over everything that latterly almost any guy is creepy to them. Because they think he could rape or whatever them.

This is probably a result of modern media absurdly over-hyping instances of things going wrong as if they were far more common than they really are. It is these women who men don't know how to avoid because without knowing you which clearly can't happen without dinner.

We have no way of knowing.

Which again brings us back to the need to agree upon a standard protocol. When we were a more homogeneous country we use to have this.

But with soo much alien migration both international and really interstate we have become far too diverse and as such no longer do.

[mandyfire98]

Most women do not find guys creepy or inappropriate just because they don't think they're attractive. That's not true at all.

And no, women don't just expect guys to know not to ask them out. When I say don't be inappropriate it could be stiff like guys being overly sexual or being rude or aggressive while approaching. Also being aggressive after being rejected instead of just saying "ok have a nice day" and then just walking away.

But to expect there to be some written out rules in society on something everybody agrees on as far as dating goes, that will never happen because that's never been a thing ever.

Like my parent's generation, they approached each other too. My mom has stories about guys treating her like dirt, talking to her like she was a piece of meat. That was in the nineties.

Yes there are some guys that think women would find them creepy or inappropriate that aren't creeps at all.

There's also a whole fuck ton of guys and it's growing and growing online that outright are redpill incel Andrew Tate followers who absolutely don't like women and are aggressive towards us. That have zero respect for us. They're everywhere. All over the internet and social media. So this is a lot of men we have to deal with.

When we had a more homogenous country? What was this big societal rules and understanding that we had about dating?

What was this standard protocol that everyone had and everyone automatically knew? Wasn't around in the nineties or eighties I can tell you because my parents grew up and dated around then and there were still creepy men and guys being assholes to women. Just way more now because of the internet. Asking women out was the same exact thing. You approached and you either were rejected or accepted.

[laraWM]

It's not true, you should just be nice and not a creep

[Asker]

Girl I barely interact with anyone unless forced to, but women are choosing risk being mauled than a bad encounter with a creep (and I understand why). Women also say that they want men to leave them alone, and I think men should listen to them. At least until the number of creeps in the world declines.

[laraWM]

You can surely talk to girls if you're nice

[Asker]

This isn't about me, I just wanna know if women would be happier if men left women alone for the most part until far less creeps roamed the streets.

[laraWM]

No, I'd rather we educated guys not to be creeps

[Serkee]

"Just don't be a creep" doesn't mean anything. Nobody wants to be a creep, and nobody acts creepy on purpose. What "creepy" means changes from woman to woman, and it changes depending on the guy too. Two guys can compliment the same woman's shirt the exact same way, but the uglier guy is gonna be seen as a creep while the more attractive guy is gonna be seen as sweet. Instead of saying "don't be a creep", maybe give some specifics so guys know what that means to you.

[laraWM]

@Serkee For example, when you act like girls are just a piece of meat...

[Serkee]

Again, that's too vague to be of any help. Guys don't think we're acting that way. Some might, but the vast, vast majority don't even if it comes across that way. How does a guy show attraction without acting that way? Some women even say any physical attraction at all is treating women like pieces of meat. Of course that's an extreme example and a bit of hyperbole, but you get what I'm saying, right? It's hard to know what is and isn't appropriate when so many women act as if any unwanted advances at all, even just saying "hello" are akin to sexual harassment or catcalling. Most women don't do that, I know, but the few that do make men second-guess themselves into oblivion, and become afraid of approaching women at all, not wanting to seem creepy or make women uncomfortable. I know I'm probably coming across as a bitter incel or something, but that's honestly how it feels to be told "Just don't be a creep." It's confusing, paralyzing and hurtful, and it just doesn't help.

[Pohjolan]

Define being a creep?

[laraWM]

@Pohjolan Just be nice

[Serkee]

@laraWM Do you still not see the issue with such vague "just do X" advice? Of course men want to be nice. Of course men don't want to be creeps. Of course men want to be confident, and of course men don't just want to treat women like meat. It's like if someone were asking for fashion advice and your response was "just be fashionable". It's a non answer.

[Pohjolan]

@laraWM
Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?
Take for a example the elevator gate sentence considered by female consensus creepy;
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I find you very interesting and I would like to talk more, would you like to come to my hotel room for coffee?"
Where exactly does this fall out of being nice?

[Zbrody1997]

To be fair creep usually = ugly, awkward, or shy when it’s not a absolute perv wearing their intentions on their face

[JBlade]

@Zbrody1997 so basically don't be a creep = just be attractive 😂

[laraWM]

@Pohjolan Asking a girl in an elevator can obviously make her uncomfortable and feel not safe for sure, you could wait a more open place for example. And also you shouldn't ask people to go to your room

[Pohjolan]

@laraWM
See? Now its not just being nice but being nice in specific locations that haven't been specified.
Also why not safe?
So your room is not ok but asking people to come to your place is fine?

[blueonblack22]

@laraWM the issue is women expect the RIGHT man to approach them at the RIGHT time. Then claim to give off “signals” that it’s okay. But most men don’t naturally pick up on that.

Prior to #metoo more women would tolerate being approached by the wrong man and/or at the wrong time. Not to say some men do wrong here. Some guys definitely act like creeps and say stupid and very insulting things.

But the issue is how women treat a man (they consider unattractive) for respectfully saying “hi” to him. They think it’s okay to label that guy “creepy”. It’s not. Not at all. And it hurts that guys self esteem more then you will ever realize.

[blueonblack22]

*”hi”’to them

[Anonymous]

A growing number of men agree that they shouldn't approach women after over a decade of countless pieces of media and social media posts decrying men who give "unwanted contact" as the enemy despite the only way a man would know if contact was "unwanted" is if he makes an attempt to contact and finds out himself regardless of his intentions.

Ironically, the effect of this will only lead to more problematic encounters as the good men will, more often than not, refuse to approach women because they actually think that such an approach is harmful to them. This is as if the decision to approach isn't difficult enough, as female Bumble users found out.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/04/a-lot-of-effort-to-get-one-date-bumble-app-makes-womens-first-move-easier

[Purpleronnie]

So men shouldn’t ask out women because some men are creeps? … men should respect women by not asking them out? . Women are scared for their lives when men ask them out? … this sounds like the thought process of someone on the “Incel” journey. I can’t speak for all women or any woman but I would think that single available women don’t want to be approached by sexual predators and creeps. They want to be approached by normal , genuine guys and treated like an equal not as a sex object. I don’t think that is really a lot to ask , to be afforded basic respect.

[Boomchakalaca]

Many incels in video games too

[Purpleronnie]

That’s probably true but if guys see their role models in video games then society has bigger issues 😂

[RavVid]

The bear vs man bullshit is just that. Any woman subscribing to the bullshit would automatically be a woman I'm not interested in.

You're making a broad mistake here, that the options are 1/ Run women down in the street to ask them out or 2/ never initiate contact with a woman at any time.

There are a broad range of circumstances where you can easily engage with women and that could result in inviting them out.

Really until you engage with them you only know if you like their tits or you like their ass or both. I don't think there are that may women worth asking out and it will be for more than tits & ass that I would ask them out for. More for character and personality.

It doesn't take that much time to assess if they have qualities you like.

Incidentally quite a few pink members here complain that men don't show any interest or approach them so don't believe all the YT's and TT's vids

[BoopBoopBeep]

Uhm... I talk to strangers all the time. Many of them are women based on demographics. They don't go fleeing in terror. Pretty sure we don't have to treat half the population as social pariah because some meme somewhere says they're all on the verge of shitting themselves in fear from being in our presence.

[Lliam]

Right on, BoopBoopBeep.

[Chazmatazz269]

Indeed. I’ve been saying it for years. They’ve been telling us we’re doing it all wrong for generations. They’ve even put many of us in prison for it. It’s time women show us dumb men how the world should work. Do it all. We’ll sit back and nitpick for a few generations. Ell oh ell!

[mandyfire98]

Women putting men in prison just for asking them on dates? That's pretty wild that that's happening and our prisons are being filled up with guys only asking women out. Damn that's wild. How come this isn't all over the news or anything?

[mandyfire98]

Ell oh ell!!

[Chazmatazz269]

Just because you’ve chosen to ignore it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. You can find dozens of cases reported on utoob. Mathematically that strongly suggests that there are thousands or possibly tens of thousands of cases that aren’t being reported on.

[lightbulb27]

your first sentence is spot on and if you think about the millenia of what women dealt with, you better understand their wiring and normal behaviors.

and that is why when you talk to them, you project good positive energy. doing it with negative, fearful, or with your head somewhere else... is creepy, and they will shoot you down fast.

you have to learn, so far reading, doesn't sound like you have.

[Flatmanlewis]

Seriously. Don’t take some stupid internet hype and give it legs. It’s pure hyperbole and 99.9% of the women on the planet would run on sight from a wild grizzly charging them. To make any life changes over this stupid man-v-bear trend would almost be as stupid as the question itself.

[BonzoInBitburg]

If you believe that nonsense then you shouldn't ask women out. Women don't mind being approached by men, they don't like being approached by creepy men. There's a difference. If you know how to talk to women then you'll have very little competition asking women out.

[patois]

Just approach the ones that seem receptive. If they're checking you out, got that happy glossy eye look, they're doing the look away and look back, they're smiling, they're waving, etc. then go say what's up. Yesterday I'd five attractive women met that criteria for me.

[Nikki1989]

Most men on this website should do all women a favour and avoid them at all costs. Good grief!

[Goahead76]

Most actually do. I'm not sure how many people saw it, but there was a question about a week ago asking men if they had given up on dating and about 70%. said yes. Supposedly this is around the same number for society at large I keep hearing, so I was surprised to see it match up.

[desidoll]

You mean “men” as a whole? You can choose not to approach anymore, there are large number of men out there who disagree. While the brave ones step forward getting all the girls, your group will be left behind and suffer from loneliness.

[Boomchakalaca]

Darwanism

[Arguydo]

Thats a complicated one. I myself do not know what to think, but definitely man shouldn't stop asking woman out. But as woman now a days want equal right they should also ask man out. And so many woman treat man badly because his being pro-active and in a sense saying: "you are so pretty, and I want to go out with you!"
I do understand man that get scared of woman for having crazy reactions, cos I have been there...

[ClassyMe]

No! Men should continue to ask women out. Personally, I’m old fashioned in the sense of I love a man initiating. It shows genuine interest and shows the courage it took. It’s great for men to take the initiative. Unpopular opinion…but I think “me too” really effected dating and hurt it. I can see how guys could feel nervous and stuff. So far as one is not being an actual creep (you know what I’m talking about) then go for it! Have confidence!

[Serkee]

We really don't know what you're talking about when you say not to be an actual creep, that's the main issue. That's why men are afraid to approach women and ask them out, because we don't know what behavior will or won't be seen as creepy. We get so many mixed messages from so many different sources that it seems like no matter what we do, it's creepy. Even if it isn't true, that's what we're told. It seems impossible to know what behavior is inappropriate, and what behavior is the minimum amount of effort a woman expects us to show. That differs from woman to woman, and young men have been getting less and less experienced in dating for a while, so we just don't know what to do. And sadly that just means we don't do anything, because we're afraid of being seen as creeps or making women uncomfortable.

[Pohjolan]

"So far as one is not being an actual creep (you know what I’m talking about)"
That word is used so loosely that we don't actually know what you are talking.

[Anonymous]

I talk to men out in public all the time. And have men make comments in passing too. The key is to not have intentions. Just be human. If you click on a basic level then you can see if a woman has a ring on or whatever. Also find out if she's not worth it as she'll not be approachable. Not all woman are sticks in the mud.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s funny the incel type of man thinks all men think this way about women. No, you are a special type of man who is not getting women. Plenty of men out here getting women quite easily, most of which who don’t spend time online writing nonsense like this.

[HelpfulWoman]

you are precisely missing the point and spinning this for your anti women agenda. eww

[Asker]

How am I missing the point? I listen and women say constantly that they're afraid of running into dudes that won't take "no" for an answer or have no problems violating boundaries. I think men should back off and let women take the reins in the dating world. P. S. I have way more problems with my own gender than women, so there.

[mandyfire98]

Then take no for an answer and don't violate boundaries. That's the answer. You'll be ok if you do that.

[Asker]

@mandyfire98 Already do, hell I barely talk to people. It's the creeps who are at the same time making us look bad I'm concerned about.

[mandyfire98]

Well true the abusers and creeps can make it look bad of course but If you're doing what you are supposed to be doing and behaving properly when speaking to women then you don't have anything to worry about I promise.

I was asked out by a guy last week. He was very respectful to me, he also took his rejection like a man and politely told me to enjoy my day and left. That guy did everything right and is the type of men that women want approaching.

[Asker]

@mandyfire98 I'm more worried about y'all tbh, if things have gotten to the point where women are less scared of running into a bear than an average guy, things must be pure hell for you guys. And one gentleman isn't enough for the countless assholes in the world.

[mandyfire98]

Well it doesn't make it better when the whole Andrew Tate and misogynistic movement has been growing online at the rate it has. All we see is guys talking shit about us and saying more and more awful things and more and more talking about us like we are all just here to serve men and just be holes for them to fuck.

Men physically attacking women in new york city just for kicks and it being a trend now. It's an online trend to physically assault women in the streets now. Let that sink in. That started because of incel rhetoric online.

You got famous sports stars at speeches publicly stating that a woman's purpose is to support her husband and make babies and that's it.

It's becoming more and more popular that we are viewed as being second class to men. That we shouldn't be on equal ground. To the point where it's all over social media, in the news, famous people spreading it and women being physically assaulted because of it.

So yeah, an exaggerated bear meme was one person online lashing out. It was pushback against this new hateful rising tide of anti women rhetoric. I think the bear meme kinda deserves a pass considering all the horrendous incel redpill garbage heavily promoted on a daily basis. But that's the thing. Men don't have to spew incel shit. Nothing is making them.

There are decent guys like I said that don't believe any of that nonsense and do great with women. You want to have women be cool with men again? You have to build trust again. A good start would be to shut all of the incel nonsense down so that women can feel like they are equal to men and respected the same way men are. Not to be treated like just sexual objects.

We just want to be treated with respect and as equals.

Men's answer to that? Andrew Tate

Men's answer to "we just want to be treated equal"

Harrison Butker speech

Or the countless other YouTube channels or tiktoks that far outnumbered any misandrist content.

[mandyfire98]

One person can certainly help. Or you can sit back and watch this whole Andrew Tate shit further divide us and not speak out against it.

[mandyfire98]

This incel bullshit is only growing. So until it's stopped. Until women are not being assaulted anymore or harassed or even killed, there have been numerous incel mass murderers. Then it's gonna be a long long lonely time for men. That loneliness epidemic will just get worse. Bears will continue to be chosen.

[mandyfire98]

You can do three things.

Help
Hurt
Do nothing

[boggboss]

If thats your choice go for it mate plenty of normal women that don't have a issue with being asked out

[ManInChains]

A lot of men have given up on women entirely. You’d think women would be happy about this and some are but others are wondering where all the good men are 🤣 women can’t understand that they’re the reason men have given up on them.

[Booklover_90]

No, I don’t think men should stop asking women out. It’s all about how you approach her. For example, start off by saying hello.

[Asker]

Are you aware of the men vs bear trend? If things have gotten that scary for women I think they would be happier if men didn't even glance at a woman until the number creeps start dying down. If it would put them at ease even a little.

[Booklover_90]

You sound cynical. Yes, I am aware of the trend, but not every woman has that mindset.

[Haraklus]

You should stop asking women out, yes. More for me lmao

[Boomchakalaca]

😆 yes

[DishLady]

Men who are just doing it to mess with women definitely should…

[Apple1996]

Definitely women should be the ones asking men out. It'd work better that way

[Finchie40]

I agree with this based off of my experiences , most girls’ know what they want , so it’s better for her to approach him and ask him out , I have my reasons why , but I will be writing a book lol

[Apple1996]

@Finchie40 exactly when a woman really wants a man she will go after him. Like even with shy women like myself I will make it known if I like a man

[Finchie40]

Yes , she will pretty much make it clear she wants to be by my side , wanting to see me as much as she possibly can , she doesn’t hesitate to be in my arms , I’m sorry but that’s a girl that I value and appreciate as well, I don’t settle for less

[Rangers]

You might as well go hunting and expect the animals to shoot and process themselves as to think that's going to happen

[Apple1996]

@Rangers I'm pretty sure it's like 70 or 80% of long term relationships the girl is the first one to approach. So it's really only the meaningless small relationship where guys are approaching first

[Rangers]

And where'd you hear that nonsense?

[Apple1996]

@Rangers it's not nonsense at all. It's was a study online so who knows how accurate it is but everyone I know that is married the woman approached first so this matches up from what I see and experienced irl as well

[Apple1996]

@Rangers also I think when a guy approaches first the girl then feels forced to say yes in a way even if they don't fully like them

[Rangers]

And they shouldn't, in my experience, they won't.

Girls have no problem saying "No" when a guy in a club walks up to her and hold his hand out, asking to dance with her.

It's just one word, no pressure. 90% of guys will just move on and not take it personally.

Although it does hurt a little bit, but that's part of life. For thousands of years, men go up and talk to girls and offer to take them on a date to learn more about eachother.

The ladies try to filter out the good men from the bad ones, saying "yes" to the good ones, and "no" to the bad ones.

We can't just flip the script just like that, this is how things have been for far too long

[Apple1996]

@Rangers that's icky af and kind of pathetic for guys to approach a bunch of women. It shows they are just trying to get any girl that will say yes to them.
I don't think it's flipping the script in any way. I approached my husband first and it's worked out great for us. Most women will approach only If they really like the man not if they are just trying to get a date like men do.

[Rangers]

I'm going to tell you a secret, when it comes to clubs, especially with the younger ones, most of them are there to develop as a person, not to get laid by whatever girl says "yes".

Just like I was, we're scared of social situations, we're scared of making a fool of ourselves around others, we're scared of rejection.

So we go there to dance in front of people, to hear the cheers of support from those on the side, to walk up to a pretty lady and ask her to dance with us to both get over the fear of rejection, and become more confident in ourselves.

A dance is where things start, not where they end, afterwards, we get to know eachother and talk about our interests. Exposure therapy works, and so does facing our fears.

You expect us to keep running away like a whipped dog when our fear starts coming towards us? We'll never get over it, if we keep doing that, but if we plant our feet firmly into the ground, and stand strong, ready to face our fears head on, we might just win, and tear through something that is holding us back

[Apple1996]

@Rangers a club isn't a good place to meet someone for a serious relationship

[Rangers]

I agree, it isn't. But it is a good place to stand up and face our fears of social anxiety, rejection, and making ourselves look like idiots.

That's why we go there, you can go to one yourself, if you still don't believe me

[Apple1996]

@Rangers I've been to clubs a few a times but only with friends/family. No intention of finding a date there

[TheSpaceGnome]

"everyday women are creeped on, killed, or SA'd by men"

Lol no, most men are harmless, its just media making rare occurances dramatic.

[IceCreamSandwich]

If you want to. I've never asked out a girl I didn't already know, so I've never had that problem.

[LiamJHayden]

Each guy who adopts your viewpoint makes it easier for an average looking guy like me to get dates, so I am fine with your decision.

[Peridot25]

It’s already came to the point. In fact, women don’t want relationships anymore. Pretty much everyone wants to be single for the rest of their lives now.

[Armourdillo]

Genuinely think that men should be aborted at a rate to pace the future generations to be majority women by a significant margin.

[Anonymous]

We are all supportive of YOU not speaking to us.

[Asker]

Any reason for the harshness? All I said was women are afraid of bad things happening to them, and that guys should back off and let them come ask them out or something. I'm on your side.

[genericname85]

women do want to be approached by men. but these men should at least be 2 points above them on the attractiveness scale, otherwise they won't be happy about it.

[BazookaTrouper]

I'm just going to leave this here

[skidawgkc22]

I have because I've had absolutely no luck in asking women out.

[Caroline91]

I will keep this short and simple: There are good women out there looking for you!

[DarkOsiris]

I stopped after realizing these things shouldn't be forced and I had my best experiences when I waited so I'll let things happen naturally.

[Rangers]

The USA isn't the only place in the world to date girls. Girls outside the US are much better than the ones here, give it a try

[OtterMan68]

if you can't handle rejection, don't ever ask anyone out

[Pohjolan]

Its a catch 22. If you do you are a creepy misogynist and if you don't you are a coward lacking self-esteem.

Just don't do it at work or if she shows feminist traits.

[msc545]

You might be able talk to them, but you sure as hell cannot flirt or ask for anything more than that without risking an assault charge.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think that’s necessarily true, just take hints if they do/don’t want to talk to you and don’t ask at inappropriate times.

[Serkee]

Men don't pick up on social cues nearly as easily as women do. Telling a guy to "just take hints" isn't good advice, because we just don't see those hints in the first place. I know this is said all the time, but we can't read minds. You need to tell us what you do or don't want if you want us to understand, don't give hints. "Inappropriate times" differ from woman to woman as well, and at this point it feels impossible to tell what is or isn't appropriate with how many mixed messages there are everywhere. When men are the ones expected to approach women, there are going to be some unwanted advances. Please, instead of hinting that that they're unwelcome, just tell us.

[Opinion Owner]

@Serkee how about you learn to pick up on social cues then like us women had to?

An example of a social cue where a woman doesn’t want to talk to you is if she’s not continuing the conversation. This also goes for men too.

“How are you?” “Good.” “What are you doing later?” “Nothing.”

Very hard to carry on a conversation like that.

Also, there are certain times where nearly all women would tell you it’s inappropriate to hit on them like if they’re at work.

Plus a lot of times when we do say things like “I can’t talk right now” or “please just leave me alone” we’re either not taken seriously, considered very rude, or attacked for rejecting them/telling them to leave us alone.

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Men just need to grow a spine and act confident.


And women should understand that men can be nervous about approaching a woman for a date for the first time.

[Boomchakalaca]

[pinconon]

if that happened as a whole, it might have some unintended consequences

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You have a better chance winning the lotto 20 times before that ever happens.

[RossyBoi]

Yes I agree. Men shouldn't ask out or harass women. Women don't want to date men they just want to be left alone.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, to talk to a women is a violation of the MeToo statutes and punishable by life in prison or firing squad

[handsomelad70]

H**L NO !!! How else can we date or marry them?

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Only American women. The rest of the world seems sane.

[Anonymous]

We can still ask women out. We just probably shouldn't lead with that. I am sexting with 3 girls right now. However we talked a while before we started sexting. I know where they are and their ages.

[CrabCakes11]

Just be normal it’s not that hard

[Armourdillo]

^ exactly this.
People who struggle to find partners are usually always entitled creeps. In general anyone who needs to ask people out is typically a creep, normal relationships just happen.

[Serkee]

"Just be normal"

Do you not see how useless this advice is? Nobody would be having this issue if we knew how to "just be normal", but we don't know what that means. Nobody wants to be a creep and nobody is trying to be. If we could just flip a switch and "be normal", we would.

[CrabCakes11]

@Serkee I honestly suggest therapy then. It will help immensely

[Armourdillo]

Get therapy and meds, if you struggle to find dates you're either morally corrupt or mentally ill, chances are both. It's not hard.

[Armourdillo]

@Serkee you're outing yourself as a psychopath

[Serkee]

@Armourdillo I'm certainly outing myself as someone with social anxiety, but a psychopath? How do you figure?

[CrabCakes11]

@Serkee social anxiety doesn’t make you undateable. It’s another problem

[Serkee]

@CrabCakes11 I'm not undatable, I have a girlfriend, but what social anxiety does do is make me afraid to approach people. I'm always in my own head about not wanting to come across as a creep or make someone uncomfortable. I can take rejection no problem, but being looked at like I'm a creep just breaks me. I was just lucky that I was approached instead. Once I'm already talking to someone it's a whole lot easier, it's approaching them in the first place that gets me.

[DreamLife7]

Be respectful but not a creep

[dolemite58]

And the human race goes extinct

[Sasquach]

What is a man vs bear trend?

[clampfan101]

Not before women start asking us out.

[Boomchakalaca]

🫣🫣

[LazerBean]

Go right ahead