Women should not ask men out?

[Anonymous]

Agree

Disagree

[RavVid]

I think not.

The touchstone in an incipient relationship is if the man wants to fuck her to be frank. That is a bit more sophisticated than she has breasts and a presumed vagina. If she seems a casual sex girl than why not? If she seems more a relationship girl, maybe i can't see that.

A few times have been excruciating as I have not felt any sexual desire for her so I have to say no. But no is saying she isn't comely and feels like an insult and she will probably take it that way.

Girls can make it quite clear they like you and if you ask they'll say yes. At times they have given me an opening I could drive a Mack truck through. Some girls have made it positively ungentlemanly of me to not ask them out.

i think that is the better approach for a girl to take.

[VIVANT]

Nothing here really explained why a girl shouldn’t ask a guy out. The resin to ask someone out is to get an answer. If it’s no it’s no. No one likes it but it’s part of life and it helps no one to not be able to deal with being told no in matters of the heart. People have to confront no all the time not just in asking someone out.

There is dignity and satisfaction in knowing you took care of it and can now move on knowing you tried.

My impression is guys will often answer this question based on their own discomfort but turn project it onto the woman. None of what you described is anything unique to women.

The only reason I can see here is you’d rather she not. But that does not explain why she should not. Women get asked out by guys they are not into all the time, they have to say no. No one likes to say no but rejection is rejection whether you’re told no or ignored. A no is better bc it’s definitive and then you can move on. It’s really the best feeling.

[RavVid]

@VIVANT Yes, it does stem from my discomfort and i gave a para to that effect. I don't think it is projecting onto women that they want to be thought beautiful; more common observation and objective observation of several trillion dollar industries based on this.

It is fairly obvious if you ask for something from someone than a refusal is almost automatic. Asking makes you a supplicant in a cold call. The most productive form of communication is to let the other person think it is their idea as people buy into their idea. So it is important how things are done.

It is up to girls if they want to ask guys out. It isn't a crime. I presume girls think about asking a guy out if they find him attractive and he hasn't. But my comment on letting people think it is their idea still applies.

There is a funny YT where an attractive guy and gal both try the "wanna fuck" technique. The guy was mostly unsuccessful and the girl was mostly successful. From memory she got only 10-20% declines. She even succeeded with a guy who couldn't speak English by making appropriate finger gestures.

I am not by any means saying a girl will not be successful.

[VIVANT]

I think it just depends on the personality of the person. Some people don’t like to wait around and others don’t like to put themselves out there.

I’ve never been good at making people feel like something was there idea, I don’t have the patience for that kind of plotting 😂 and I am made very uncomfortable by other people trying to do that with me.

Knowing absolutely what someone wants ) to the best if their knowledge) is very important to me. I dislike the way that dance encourages people against coming out with directly what they want And the risk it poses in crating miscommunication…. people may assume the other person had an aim or is trying to get them to do something when that does not exist.

In direct and I prefer to be direct and I don’t ask guys or bc I need hen to say yes. I ask bc I’m curious and if gets re interested cooo if not I prefer to know.

I’ve never felt unattractive simply by someone saying no. I’m aware that not everyone is for everyone and what would come to mind first is we don’t click— bc to me that’s super important.

On the other hand even if it made someone feel unattractive to be told no, if they want to do that’s their choice. I still didn’t see why any guy or woman’s should care if someone else chooses to do a thing that they themselves do 🤷🏻‍♀️

[VIVANT]

no one enjoys rejection regardless of gender so is till didn’t see why women any moire than men should not ask anyone out. I’d understand it better if you thought no one should ask anyone out. But that’s not really a solution.

I think perhaps for a lot of guys, there is threat of women initiating stuff bc lt makes them less predictable. Of the guy is used to thinking he just has to out impress her but then on top of that she also asking guys out…

I can see how that can feel competitive and hard to keep track of. Plus the guy now like women already are, he is in the position of “if she can ask me out and hasn’t, is that bc she’s not Interested or is it bc she just hasn’t done it yet”

I do not say any if this bc I think you should force yourself to want something you do not want— that would make everyone miserable and cause resentment — but you not wanting to be asked pig by women still is nit a reason for women to. It ask guys out. Separate from if it “works” or not.

In my experience if someone is interested in getting to know you as apposed to wanting something from you, they aren’t bothered by who asks who. Think sure for many it’s an issue.

My guess is for people who are comfortable asking others out, they wouldn’t get along with someone who has a problem
with it , so it’s for the best if they get rejected.

Thanks for the backs and forth, it’s Interesting. I appreciate hating your views and it’s nice we are keeping it civil 😊

[RavVid]

@VIVANT OK, I understand better where you are coming from and thanks for sharing your perspective. That is really the point of GAG in my view with the objective of learning from others life experience.

I quite understand that your view that some want to know and know now whilst others don't like to put themselves out there. Good points and you make a good case.

I still think there are disadvantages to it but will leave it at that.

[BikingTrail]

I dont see what the issue is with asking a guy out. You might get rejected, you might not. Works both ways if he does the asking. I prefer if she asks me out. That way I know she likes me, otherwise I would need to "guess" and I could be way off

[VIVANT]

Exactly, works both ways.

[Anonymous]

Why in the world would who asks out whom make any difference in whether a man wants a relationship with you, or just wants sex? Think about it. There are way too many men today who just want sex without commitment, but whether he asks you out, or you ask him, will make zero difference in that. If you're a good woman, good men will take you seriously. If you're not, they won't. But regardless, the guys who only want sex will continue to only want sex.

[Asker]

Most of the time when a woman ask a man out the man normally only wants sex. A man will let a woman know if he is interested in dating her. Only feminine men let a woman asked them out.

[Opinion Owner]

False.

[Asker]

Well I don’t know where you people on here is getting that from it is ok for women to ask men out. I don’t know if you all are trying to convince yourselves that women can because of equal rights but I believe in gender roles when it comes to relationships. I’m not going to get on one knee neither to propose because that means that I am the masculine one.

[Opinion Owner]

There is nothing masculine or feminine about one persona asking out another. That's a really dumb think to believe.

[Asker]

That’s your opinion and I wouldn’t be getting offended by what I say because clearly you haven’t been or know anything about what I dealt with in my dating experiences. So you can do what you want to do and see how that works out for you.

[Opinion Owner]

What you personally have experienced is not what others have experienced, and certainly not what I have experienced. I choose to be a realist and use my brain rather than dwell in traditional gender role nonsense. It is 2024 after all.

[Asker]

Yeah you do it but your input isn’t going to change my mind I can do what works for me.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course

[AviatorTom]

I've always liked it when a woman asked me out, though it didn't happen often.

[Anonymous]

Depends on what kind of relationship she wants. If she wants a “traditional” relationship than no. But she also needs to be traditional as well. If she’s for equality then yes she should ask men out if she’s interested.

[VIVANT]

Actually Tho while I don’t see it as a reason not to I do see it as a good vetting process if you’re not looking for a relationship where you taking initiative is going to be made into a huge dramatic scene, your point is solid.

[Unit1]

Bad decision. Girls and women be missing out on wonderful boyfriends this way.

[VIVANT]

Agreed

[Patman97]

I would prefer if a girl asked me out first I can never find the words to say at first and I don't want to come off a pushy or creepy.

[thearchjoker]

If you like him ask him out or it will be your loss

[LiamJHayden]

If she wants a date and he's a decent guy who is just oblivious to her interest, yes, she should ask.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Sure they should. (Ever hear of the old-time Sadie Hawkins Dances where a broad asks out the chap?)

[VIVANT]

Why not?

[Asker]

Because usually when women ask the man usually only wants sex.

[VIVANT]

Why do you think this?

[Asker]

Because it happened to me plenty of times before.

[VIVANT]

Hmm, are you saying he was interested in you genuinely until you asked him out?

Thats pretty absurd and very low character. Why would you want a guy who would have taken you seriously except you asked him out?

That doesn’t sound like relationship material and more like you disagree sone bad guys who might’ve put on a front for longer if you waited around for them?

I think if a guy genuinely wants to get to know you or date you, he will be happy to be asked out. Lots of guys play fairs, I don’t think knits bc you ask them out. It’s just the more effort you make, the more people you cross paths with. The more jerks you run into but also the more possibilities for luv ☺️

[elizamichale1]

Why not

[whereismyjohnny]

Disagree.

[Wise4myage]

I disagree.