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I was called strange twice on a date once and I responded wow being normal anyway then I laughed it off in front her but I can’t help but feel a burn of being personally attacked. If a woman calls a man strange does she mean it a bad way?
When she calls you strange what’s does she really mean?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Ah man, that's never fun to hear. When a girl calls you strange, it's hard to say exactly what she means without more context. A few possibilities:
- She may have meant it in a playful, teasing way. Like if you said something funny or did something quirky, she could just be poking fun without real judgement.
- She might find some of your hobbies, interests or mannerisms a bit unusual for her tastes. Doesn't necessarily mean they're bad, just unfamiliar to her.
- Could be she finds you a bit awkward or shy in your interactions and isn't used to that type of personality.
- In a negative way, she may think your behavior or the things you say cross a line into being kind of creepy or off-putting for her.
Best thing to do is just own it - "Yep, I know I'm a weird one!" with a laugh. And pay attention to her other feedback too. If she's engaging and seems interested otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much. But if she gives more uncomfortable vibes, might not be the best match. Don't overthink it man, just be yourself!
Thank for the help I’m not 100% but she did text me a day later asking if I had a ‘disability’.
Woah, alright man yeah that's even more of a red flag. Calling you disabled? That's messed up.
My guess is she was just trying to find some "politically correct" way to say there was something off-putting about you, without straight up insulting. But that's super inappropriate.
I wouldn't even respond to that text dude, she sounds kinda mean. You don't need that negative crap bringing you down. Seems like she was looking for excuses not to see you again and just got rude about it.
Forget about her. People can be shallow sometimes - doesn't reflect on you at all. You just keep doing you man. Next time you go out, hold your head high and don't let some rude chick get to you. You'll find someone who appreciates you for you!
And honestly, don't even think twice about being "different". Nerdy stuff the other guys make fun of - some girls love that quirky shtuff. You keep shining bright dude. Her loss!
That was after our second time we met last February I was kinda shocked and appalled how she asked me on text with ‘can I ask you something do you have a disability?’ so I said ‘yeah I have Asperger’s’ But then afterwards told her she could’ve asked in more tasteful and respectful way but her excuse was she said ‘I’m loud, first, and I like to tell people straight and some people don’t like that’ then she said ‘I don’t think think we’d be compatible, I think I’d be too much and we should be friends’.
I did refuse her offer of friendship and after few hours of me being stubborn she’s like “okay you can take me on another date but we have to go slow” but all this she used like I’m monkey branch for nearly 3 months and I was stupid to think I had the chance to believe we could get our chats back to the way they were and too see each other again because she’d say ‘I like talking to you, let’s take it a slow’ but her actions presented differently she’d become more flakey in her replies, she’d become more distant, the chats are very imbalanced it’s like having conversation with a brick wall and she’d take more then a day to reply back with 3 times less text then I’d send to her and I’d take about 1-3 hours to reply.
I guess it’s my fault that I concealed my diagnosis from her I should’ve told her the first time we met especially the fact we sent each other multiple paragraph messages to each other few times a day every single day for 8 weeks straight. I had intended to tell her eventually but somehow my masking didn’t get past her because she works in mental health. It’s also my fault second meet up didn’t went as well first meet up but it’s not simple for me to explain right now.
I don’t think any bad of her because before all this she was so sweet, flirty, humorous, quirky, seductive fast replying when we first met she went all shy and blush around me. In my profile Facebook dating I mentioned in my bio I mentioned I was nerdy and quirky and she still swiped right on me. We had intercourse twice. When a girl loses interest in you all the good qualities I mention a few lines above has gone down the train including the respect they once had for you.
Thanks again pal - it’s always informative and motivating choice of words to make feel I’m not alone because I know dating for men is like a job interview and trial period and any more slip up then you out. I understand female psychology more than I wanted to.
Damn dude, that's really rough. It sucks she handled telling you she wasn't interested so poorly. You didn't deserve to be strung along like that.
I can understand why you didn't tell her about your Asperger's right away - it's personal information and you were just getting to know her. And it doesn't define who you are. You seem like a really thoughtful, caring guy.
Her loss for not seeing that. Some people just aren't considerate of others' feelings. It's not a reflection on you at all - you did your best to connect. Dating is hard for everyone, you'll have better luck next time.
I know it's tough not to take things personally, but try not to let this experience make you bitter. Keep being your genuine, interesting self. When you meet someone who appreciates you for you, it'll be worth the wait. You've got so much good to offer - don't ever sell yourself short, man. Chin up!
I hope you can answer this or anyone who’s reading why do girls go cold and borderline heartless when once they lose interest in a guy? Why do they don’t look no matter how hard you try to get your text game on point and no matter how hard to try be the best version of yourself once someone loses in you it’s irreversible?
Just wanna say thanks again Oliverlogam263 for providing with helpful and dopamine detox answers as always. This is reality of dating for men it’s like a job interview then once you get past the interview you’re like in some trial period and you if mess up the slightest than it’s too late.
I think when a girl loses interest, it's usually nothing personal against the guy, but it can still feel that way. Their feelings just changed and they can't help that.
As for going cold and distant, I think it's cuz breaking things off gently is hard. Just being honest might hurt the guy's feelings, so ignoring him is an easy way to create distance without confrontation. Not saying it's right, but I get why it's easier in the moment.
It probably does feel pretty painful and hopeless when someone clicks off like that. But honestly man, if they don't wanna be with you anymore, chasing after them probably won't change their mind, it'll just come off as desperate ya know?
I think the best thing is to accept it's out of your control. Hold your head up and give them space. Maybe they'll miss talking to you if you're not around as much, but even if not, moving on is the healthiest thing in the long run.
You'll meet someone who really likes you for you and wants to be with you. Don't lose hope just cuz one girl didn't work out. Focus on bettering yourself and having fun. The right person will come along eventually!
That’s why for 3.5 months now I’ve become more enthusiastic about female physiology like. Women care about how they feel not how a many feels so no amount text game, love letters or trying to convince her differently before she boards plane like in the movie.
Even though I could tell she’s been cold and distant she’s still would we would meet up again and reinsured me there’s no friendzone after I declined her friendzone offer but I still kept on replying to our messages like I’m good loyal doggy even though I shouldn’t because the last 3 months our chats got nowhere. Twice I asked if she was free but she said she couldn’t because of work commitments.
Before things took a turn for the worse, I never showed any neediness and made sure not to violate any principles due to my past experiences. I was successful for 2 months, but I did slightly violate the principles once things started going downhill, mostly out of shock and panic. I had chances to stop replying when we had bit dispute the day after our last meet up because she tried to put me friendzone and had doubts about compatibility. She cpild I didn’t took that’s why I think she didn’t say anything a few weeks when I asked her why she’s changed.
I had managed to gain a few matches for the past month on Bumble, Hinge, FB dating but everyone eventually stopped replying after few matches, not sure why, maybe because t my chats with them got lost in the pile somewhere as very likely had so many other men messaging them.
I haven’t lost hope I made sure I didn’t go through the path of hopelessness, hate and anger because I experienced something similar and not as bad over 3 years ago when I lost my virginity. Now I’m trying to get my motivation and routine back in place after 3.5 months of losing it.
Dude, I totally get why this has been so hard on you. Breakups always suck, especially when you really cared about the girl. But don't be so down on yourself - you didn't do anything seriously wrong here. We've all made mistakes when we're hurt or panicking. The most important thing now is to focus on healing and not dwelling on the past.
It seems like you've learned some valuable lessons about giving girls space when they start losing interest. That will serve you well in future relationships. Now just give yourself some time to get over this one before putting yourself back out there. Force yourself to hang with the guys, pick up an old hobby, hit the gym - anything to take your mind off things for a bit. You'll start feeling less hurt and needy before you know it.
As for the online dating, don't lose hope! It can take time to find a real connection. Sometimes matches don't pan out for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally. Just keep putting yourself out there and meeting new people. The right girl who really clicks with you is out there somewhere. Once the pain from this fades more, you'll be ready to find her. Hang in there man - better days are coming!
I'm not sure how she could have meant it in a good way. What were you doing at the time for her to say it?
Definitely wasn’t in a good way and I don’t know