I feel bad for feeling this but sometimes my partner is really boring. What to do?

Question

It's been just a few weeks since we started dating but I already feel that he is such a boring person. Should I go on and see, or just trust my feelings? What would you do?

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

You're 42 and you're asking us? Girl, you need to know your own mind and stop feeling bad about it. It's been a few weeks, not a few years. Just tell him, nicely, that you don't feel a spark and you want to move on. If he's that boring I doubt he'll fight you on it. Don't drag it out because you feel like you need to have someone in your life.

I will say this, though. Some guys are like deep, still water; quiet on the surface, but there's a lot going on underneath. It requires patience and attention to detail to understand those types.

For me, certified boring is a guy who doesn't stop talking about himself, his ideas (usually brain-dead boring; like a coffee pot that uses different colored lights...), his high school graduation where he was valedictorian (because the other guy was sick), his doctor appointment, his kidney stones, his hangnails, his dog who died three years ago, his dislike of take out, his sleep habits... you get the idea. I'm trying not to yawn just thinking about it...

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't stay with a guy that is boring, period.

His silence can be very deafening!

Picture that two of you eating dinner at a restaurant and complete silence, just eating and going home.

And I can only imagine the sex is just as boring as he is.

My last boyfriend was outgoing, gregarious, funny, making me laugh, intelligent conversations, simulated my brain, interesting, always had a story to tell. At night just before we would go off to sleep, he would tell me a story just before we would close our eyes. He just made them up as he went along.

When we used to go to restaurant's we would see couples sitting at the table not saying a word to each other, and we would comment to each other that were glad we weren't like them.

imtiaz45 · Accepted Answer

Feeling that your partner is boring at times is natural. Communication is key. Share your feelings openly but kindly, focusing on how you both can inject excitement into your relationship. Suggest trying new activities together, like traveling, hobbies, or exploring new interests. Sometimes, planning spontaneous dates or revisiting activities you both enjoyed at the beginning of your relationship can reignite the spark. It's also important to maintain your own interests and friendships, as personal fulfillment contributes to a healthier partnership. Remember, it's about finding a balance and making an effort to keep the relationship dynamic and engaging for both of you.   read

pass_the_celery98 · Accepted Answer

get back to that place where you felt a spark for him. As a guy, I know some guys aren't the best "planners" and we may "mask" our emotions. The thing with guys/men is we love peace as well. Whether its going to a nature spot and hearing the wind in the forest while looking at the lake or watching Sunday NFL football or playing video games or working on the car on the driveway, etc. Guys/men have different outlets for their peace, it's different with women. My advice just talk to him, maybe suggest ideas you want to try. Good luck, and I hope you guys have a strong relationship.

Crimsyjo · Answer

Haha I feel you. Just take a look at my question about fear of commitment (fear to be stuck in a boring relationship). Few weeks isn't good sign. BUT I'd say there are 3 options.

1. Think of things u want to do. That will be fun. See if he will join you.

2. If he doesn't then decide to do things by yourself. Bring a couple doesn't mean you have to do everything together.

3. If he doesn't want to do things (and I been there. Bored wanting to go out, go for a drive, anything whilst my ex wanted to watch Netflix for 6 hours straight) and he also gets jealous or funny if you do things without him... decide that maybe he is not the right guy for you. Better you know this now.

uniquelyshy · Answer

I can't say much other than the fact that I tried to play video games with him, I would stay up really late on works nights to have fun and even tried to go out and do things but we didn't have a cat and he didn't like walking. In the end he broke up with me because I was to boring even though he was the one that put in no effort.

Purpleronnie · Answer

One might think that what you find boring is interesting. Who’s to say that it’s not you who has the issue?

Putting that aside if you have no Interest in getting around the boring then tell him and part ways

Not everything anyone could ever talk about needs to interest you though , sometimes things are boring but still demand to be talked about however mundane.

TakingitEasy15243 · Answer

Well you could give him the benefit of the doubt and try to incorporate new activities. IF you like him enough, otherwise go with your gut. Personally everyone's different. Your at an age where priorities need to be established of what you're looking for.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

What was it that attracted you to him initially? I'm just wondering because if you've been dating a few weeks there must have been something attractive about him to you. On the other hand, perhaps you find him boring because you've found that you two don't have much in common? Just some random thoughts.

gayesblog · Answer

It's okay to feel that way sometimes. :) Communicate your feelings gently, suggesting new activities to try together. Find shared interests or explore new hobbies. Balance time spent together with individual pursuits to maintain a healthy relationship.

Miristheiss · Answer

Did you get with them for entertainment and adrenaline thrill seeking?

Is he physically attractive?

Do you share beliefs, values and life goals?

Is he a provider?

That is usually the main things for a successful relationship, not constant entertainment.

Anonymous · Answer

Why is he boring, what makes him boring? Do you spend quality time with him? Have you really try to dig deep and try to get to know him? I mean I understand if you find him boring during the initial talking stages but clearly you found him interesting enough to be dating him for a few weeks.

Anonymous · Answer

Since it’s quite new and fresh since you haven’t been Dating him for that long, maybe you can either talk to him about his likes and dislikes and get to know him better if you don’t already. Or, if you’re comfortable, you can maybe plan something fun for both of you to do. Maybe he’s shy and has an outer shell to come out of.

Also, this is not really relevant but I’m curious, were you friends with him before you started dating , or knew him a bit before?

DreamLife7 · Answer

He's not your partner how stupid can you be? "We just started dating a few weeks ago my partner is boring". Like do you see how dumb you sound? He's most likely boring you because he's entertaining other women. He's not your man stop labeling better yet you're a boring person

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

If you say to him calmly (not in a huff)  "I'm really not sure we want the same things.. I don't want to lead you on here, but I find our time boring. What do you thing we can do about it?"

Anonymous · Answer

Give him some extra chances. Go on fun dates. Talk about the things you like. Does your feeling stay the same and you feel like this is not worth fighting for? Then break up.

Follow your gut feeling. If you want to find someone for life, it needs to click

Famie · Answer

Hi, you might feel he is boring. But he might be the one. Good men are very rare. Give it some time and see how it goes. It's better to have a boring men that's only yours than to have a man full of excitements that says he loves you but love and leave such sweet comments on other women's pictures and videos, crowing and uplifting them. That's not even given to you.

Tamera952 · Answer

If it’s what your gut is telling you this early on, cut your loses, & clear him to the side. No time for people that don’t make me think, or challenge me cerebrally.

MisterWack · Answer

Express your feelings to him and he’ll tell you what he thinks about that then you tell him how you feel more in depth afterwards you can reach a conclusion?

slatyb · Answer

Trust your feelings. If he asks to see you, v just say "Thanks, but I don't think it's going to work." That's all. Don't explain. If he asks, say "Sorry, I'm just not feeling it. I wish you the best "

Minky17 · Answer

What makes him boring? Is he just all work and has no idea how to plan dates?

Rafrenc · Answer

It’s always something a person doesn’t like challenge is to defeat that finding a way to get along better but maybe he is focused on other things that will help your relationship as well as the things you focus think are important in a relationship

BadApple69 · Answer

My suggestion is you plan some outings and see how he responds. If he says, na…. Rather stay home and watch Netflix. Then you’ll have your answer.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Ignore the bitter trolls on here. Everyone deserves some excitement in their life at any age.

genericname85 · Answer

your partner isn't boring. being boring isn't an objectively measurable thing. you feel he's boring subjectively. that's a you problem, not a him problem. just saying.

Darkchild25 · Answer

Depends on what you mean by boring. Not every day is going to be an adventure. But also if it's only been a few weeks into the relationship that's not good either.

edmwarrior · Answer

He could be boring yeah. That sounds like me, and the reason some of my relationships don’t work out. I don’t like to go out all the time it makes me tired

Truthatanycost · Answer

Are you interesting? or is he only boring because you are expecting him to perform?

paledreams · Answer

I've identified the problem right there in that cartoon - he's not clean shaven, and her hair too long 😆👀👀😆👀

exitseven · Answer

He is not going to get any better. You should just break it off. Find a guy that wants to live life on the edge.

DextroShade · Answer

Ma'am, you are 42 years old so unless you want to die alone you need to stop chasing excitement. Time to grow up!

HighValue · Answer

A woman your age trying to be picky? Ha ha ha ha. Good luck with that.

Loner111 · Answer

If I was with a girl that I find boring, I would let her know and move on. No point in talking in circles, or just keep going with it... I know a woman wouldn't hold back, why should I?

JacobJordan · Answer

Enjoy it because he could be out cheating on you. He isn't boring he is normal.

sheikalana · Answer

At your age I’d say trust your feelings and don’t waste your time.

handsomelad70 · Answer

You may have to move on if you can't communicate, as compatability is an immutable part of any boy-girl relationship.

Unit1 · Answer

Boring how? Not exciting? Not taking you out? Not talking much?

DrPepper12 · Answer

Bye Felicia!! This is NOT gonna get better and don't compromise on yourself!

Shy_Steve · Answer

It's not a Guys job to keep you Entertained, If your bored ask him to do something you would like.

Anonymous · Answer

Boring in what ways? Dull conversationalist? Lack of worldly interest? Very vanilla in bed?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You are just missing the bad-boy drama and toxicity you inspire.

Iron_Man · Answer

What you guys don’t ever do anything you couldn’t tell about him before you made a commitment

CubaPirate · Answer

Communication is key if things don't improve then you obviously need to move on. Lifes too short to waste time with someone incompatible

MrGSpotHer · Answer

I think you just want confirmation to what you want to do

Alex8736 · Answer

Try spicing things up like role play etc just to see what matching interests you have

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Trust your feelings. Move on before it’s too late and you feel more stuck.

In_Trance · Answer

Your partner goes around telling everyone that you're the boring one

PauloN · Answer

It's on you dear. You put the spark in the relationship you lead. Don't be bored choose to enjoy your relationship. ITS ON YOU!!

Anonymous · Answer

Start randomly walking around the house in kinky outfits nonchalantly

spartan55 · Answer

Why did you get with him in the first place then?

Jrg98 · Answer

No go ahead and cut it off

stratford · Answer

What is boring? What isn't he doing?

Bobby88t · Answer

Maybe you might need me

Anonymous · Answer

By a strap-on and do him in the butt.

Anonymous · Answer

You already know the answer.

Anonymous · Answer

No. He deserves better.

Guyaskgirls6969 · Answer

Should wear ur nurse uniform and be sexy

eagle1951 · Answer

go with you're gut

MasterKS · Answer

Just be straight forward and talk openly.

unknownuser555 · Answer

You need change..

I feel bad for feeling this but sometimes my partner is really boring. What to do?

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