Girls, will you date someone like me? yes or if no why not?

[Anonymous]

Education wise:

I am a graduate student in physics at a well-ranked university. I have two master's degrees from two different universities, one in physics other in mathematics.

Physically, I don't stand very tall. 135 pounds, average build, 5'6"

Hobbies: I like creative artsy hobbies. I enjoy making things with clay and wood and am competent with watercolor and pencil painting..

Adore collecting books and reading them, own many rare books and can speak 5 languages.

I play violin and write poetry that gets published in journals, sometimes scientific literature too for online platforms.

In my free time, I spend time with local animal shelters and groups. I grew up in a remote village so many animals and bird visits were common. I didn't have many friends but was always good with animals for some reason. I don't mind dressing and clearing wounds, or clearing poops for them. So far we have managed to save and found homes for a lot.

My family was very conservative and I was very busy with studies. To be honest, I never had very good experiences with women and never had a girlfriend so far. Given that other males my age have either had many relationships or are married by now, this makes a lot of potential dates uncomfortable.

Any suggestions, or explanations of why and why not will help me in the future.

[DishLady]

First of all, when you add all that up in one solid blob of information it seems like you just don’t go out much… and also that you’re too in your own head….


Shake off some of that homebody vibe by going out a bit more with friends. And no, at 25-29 unless you only have two friends in the universe not everyone is getting married at that age.

[Asker]

What do you mean by this "you’re too in your own head"?
Yes, I don't like clubbing that much. I do go out some with friends and tried online dating but being a full-time grad student also restricts me. Plus can't afford regular outings too. Many of my school and college friends who didn't go to further education got married, or in long-term relationships, or had relationships before.

[DishLady]

I mean… you’re an intellectual guy, which is GREAT until you start overthinking and over calculating and get hung up on stuff that ONLY YOU actually see.

No… no need to go clubbing…. But look at things that aren’t just solo projects or tasks ok? Musical concert rather than practice at home by yourself… there will be open air summer concerts popping up everywhere soon. Spruce up and put yourself out there. You’ll find another music lover during intermission or at the pop stand while you’re getting snacks…. You’ve got this. 😉

[Asker]

Being intellectual isn't that great. At least what I have seen in my life. It only attracts bullying, name name-calling. It certainly makes dating harder even if you are not arrogant. Girls term you as boring just by hearing what you do. Around my age or lower, most want fun guys. I am not generalizing. It's what I have seen in my life experience. Plus after all these years of being alone, I fear that even in the future it will never be love (perhaps someone who just wanna settle). People generally don't like older sexually inexperienced persons. Earlier in school/college, my friends used to exclude me from relationship/sex talks.
I will try your suggestions from your second paragraph.

[DishLady]

Yeah, that’s fair, but it’s not all misery either… try to look for the silver linings instead of wallowing in self pity…. Perhaps spruce yourself up a bit, get out a bit more… and go find the gal.

[Asker]

Although if I am honest, one single mom of age around 55-56 wants to be in a friends with benefits relationship with me. She looks very young like 35-40 years old and attractive and fit. We met in a public science talk and she's very much into science as a hobby. She sends me flirty texts and wants to sleep with me.
I am not sure about it. I never had a girlfriend and waiting for my first. After all these years of being alone, I guess I want to be with someone in a proper relationship around my age. But I fear that I may not get anyone like that or an older guy with no sexual experience will be a turn-off for women. It already happened on a past date.
But I am not sure about it.

[Viola_456]

Yeah i would. You seem smart and like a good person. And i truly love your height ☺️ I would definetly give you a chance

[Asker]

Whattttt !!! You like my height 😱... I have been called others before... but it's the first time in my life that anyone has ever said that. Generally, I don't care if someone is taller or shorter than me but some girls from Tinder , Bumble only had problems with my height.

[Viola_456]

I know most girls prefer taller man but im an exception with that 😅 tbh i strugle with the same thing as you, man ussually dont want their girl to be taller than they are... Woudnt you mind a girl significantly taller than you?

[Asker]

No, I don't have any problem with girls being taller. Love those long legs. It's just you have to be fine with walking a little slow with me 😅

[Viola_456]

Thats great ❤️ would you mind me wearing heels? Im 6'3 in heels by the way 😅

[Asker]

I don't have a problem. However, once I talked with a girl who was taller than me. She liked me over chats and video calls but was avoiding meetings. Later she told me she would be embarrassed to be seen with me in public as she was of your height.
I got rejected a few times only because of my height. I am not perfect on looks but I looked way better than their previous boyfriends.

[Viola_456]

Most girls prefer their partner to be taller than they are thats a fact... I just wanted you to know there are girls like that dont just accept it byť actually seek a guy of smaller size 😅❤️

[Asker]

If you don't mind me asking... why do you seek shorter guys?

[Viola_456]

You can DM me if you really wanna know 😅

[LazerBean]

Probably not, due to the low self-esteem. But if you fix that then you would sound pretty good, depending on how you look.

[Abbycado]

At first glance, yeah probably would go out to learn more about you.

[Asker]

I am actually 28, will you even date someone of that age?

[Abbycado]

No, I meant based on your personality and personal details, putting aside age.

I figured you wanted to know about the important stuff. The personality and such.

[Asker]

It's okay. Upto what age do you date?

[Abbycado]

Probably few years within my age but if I were older maybe open to bigger gap.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Based on that, sure! Now what are the bad qualities?

[Asker]

I am not sure about bad qualities but will try to give you a picture. I don't smoke but drink socially or occasionally by myself.
I don't have much experience with women or have no relationship or sexual experience. It can weird out some girls. It happened on previous dates. Some girls even talked about their lavish past boyfriends and their sexual past, those actually made me uncomfortable.
I am a grad student and don't have too much money similar to guys of my age nor do I have a car. That turned off many potential dates before. I spend some of my savings on those animal care and book collections.
I don't have problems with talking to girls or other people in normal conversation but can get shy about dating. I think in my head that she will not go with someone like me. So in a sense, I don't have too much confidence in such. Last time I asked some girls and they rejected me by saying that guys like me are only good after thirty.
Had a difficult childhood, research is pretty stressful many times I get depressed. Some girls I feel see guys who are much more into cooking and crafts as not very masculine.