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I believe as men we should on one condition! That the girl isn’t talking to other guys and being faithful to us. But what’s the chance of that when women have all the cards in dating?
This is tricky, because it can be taken so many ways. I'll give it my best shot...
Sometimes men feel like a woman is trying to be controlling or prove something if she offers to go dutch (which is sometimes accurate).
Other times, women feel like a guy who wants her to pay half is a deadbeat (which is also sometimes accurate).
And then there's women who expect a man to pay every time right up front, from the very first date, before they are even exclusive.
Then, there are guys who will pay, but they expect to be "paid back" (if you get my drift...).
Then, there's the women who absolutely refuse to allow a man to pay for anything, ever.
Given all these scenarios, my thoughts are: It depends (lame, I know). My view is that first dates should always be dutch (50/50). I consider it normal and reasonable to go dutch when meeting someone for the first time (or first few times). However, the man may offer to pay, and permit the woman to leave the tip (this would be the more traditional view). She should be permitted to do, if she offers (which is the tasteful thing to do). However, if she rejects his offer to cover her meal, he should respect that and allow her to cover her own tab without being offended or assuming she has a major issue.
It will become apparent fairly quickly if she has a great need to prove something, or has a chip on her shoulder. It will also become apparent within a short time if the man never takes the responsibility of covering the tab when they begin to pursue an exclusive relationship. This is assuming both parties are interested in a more traditional arrangement and not 50/50 everything.
Now, in a non-traditional scenario, the woman could potentially offer to cover the meal for both. The man should be allowed to decline without offense being taken. Or, he could accept, and it is appropriate for him to offer (and be permitted) to cover the tip. Going forward, when deciding to be exclusive, it may require some extra communication and tact when deciding who pays when, if the traditional arrangement is not chosen.
Just my perspective...
There is literally no valid reason that men should be expected to pay the bill on the first date. It doesn't matter who asks, I always offer to split the bill. The guy sometimes insists on paying, and that's fine, but I would never expect him to, and I would never judge him for letting me pay my share.
Come on people, it's 2024. Do we want gender equality or not? Do we want to get rid of traditional gender roles or not? It's not okay to think we should get rid of all except the ones that benefit one gender and not the other.
Not many genuine men want to do that and not many genuine women want that either. Hell if we look at world population most women still want to be traditional women and most men still want to be traditional men. Men and women are not equal they never have been and it isn't possible for them to be. We excel at different things and our roles in life are factually different. When I asked my now wife out I paid every time and I also very quickly made it clear if she wanted to work it was her choice but she didn't have too. She was thrilled to not have too. Even 20 years in she loves not having to leave the house. I mean honestly do you want to work a job 8+ hours a day 5 days a week for around 50 years? Likely not. Men don't either but that is part of our role. And until the last 60 ish years it was vastly beneficial to society as a whole. It may have needed some tweaks but it was infinitely better than things are now
That’s the thing. Entitled people nobodt really likes. People are allowed to have standards and know what they’re looking for. Absolutely fine.
But nobody has to do anything legally speaking. Some people also hate people who aren’t right for them when there isn’t anything wrong with anyone. Just looking for different things
Obviously everyone has different opinions but I highly disagree with this one. You are possibly justifying the actions of a man that isn’t serious about dating / only wants to date if it’s convenient for him, and other actions may follow that when you start investing in a man that has already showed you, you are dating someone that wants convenience
@kylee2437 I’m not justifying anything. Yes there is entitled men they also end up very bitter in the end. Those men and women may find causal hook ups. But that’s about all they get. Other low lives.
@kylee2437 there are also women who use men for convenience… To get free shit.
Why should a woman be entitled for a man to love her if he’s giving more then he’s getting? I could use the same logic
@kylee2437 you’re absolutely able to have your standards. You aren’t entitled to a free date regardless of whose asking.
What if a woman asks me out? Is she obligated to pay? No.
Paying for someone is very nice because you don’t have to do it. Again entitled people tend to run people witn options off. Just remember that. Men hate that. Unless they’re pushovers or too desperate for sex.
@kylee2437 someone who isn’t serious is usually just wanting sex. I’m not looking for hookups or free shit.
What do you have to offer to a man? If you want a man to invest all this time and energy into you. What are you bringing in return? It better not be sex.
Also don’t say “children” because any women with a uterus can produce children. It’s like a man saying “I bring my dick and balls to the table”. I’m not saying you would say that. But common responses
@kylee2437 sorry must have been a glitch you ddint remove comments
@kylee2437 but again. I don’t know what you’re going on about convenience. If people are on a date they’re both sacrificing time to be witn one another.
I could say “why invest in a woman whose making me spend money on her” what do YOU have to offer
@kylee2437 the entire premise of the men paying came from tradition. Traditional women get traditional treatment. Are most women being asked on dates virgins? No. Are most women capable of being the woman a man needs to succeed in life? No. Men largely have the same views now as men did in the 1800s. Because men have continued being raised as men. Women on the other hand stopped being raised as women and started being raised as a pseudo man. Whoever asks technically should be who pays. I always asked so I always paid. I also had certain expectations from women I asked out and it was largely in keeping with traditional women.
@kylee2437 a modern woman through and through. Explains a lot. No wonder your life is in shambles. Trash begets trash
@kylee2437 mhm sure he does
@kylee2437 I don't care about your life lol. You're delusional view on relationships is dangerous for other women. Why? Because women like you end up single and miserable and blaming men for all your problems and you pass on shitty advice to other women who end up in your same position.
@jacobjordan I’m not single though lol if anything you are the single man spiting me because I’m telling other women not to settle for less because there’s no reason to settle for less. When most average men have no problem providing on the first date, settling for the man that acts stingy is ridiculous
@kylee2437 yet. it isn't about settling for less it is about to be worthy of a certain type of treatment. A treatment very few American women are worthy of. Which is why I married a foreign woman
@kylee2437 it isn't top of the chain. It is traditional treatment for traditional women lol. My wife is a traditional woman she gers traditional treatment
@kylee2437 I expect a woman to be what she expects from a man. If she wants traditional treatment she better be traditional herself meaning a virgin, feminine, demure, polite, respectful etc
@kylee2437 been married for nearly 20 years lol. Have 3 kids with her as well. She is a phenomenal woman, mother and wife. I asked her out expecting to pay. She didn't offer because she likewise expected me to pay. I gave her the option of working if she wanted she did not want to and that was that. She has more than contributed to the wealth of our lives. And all of those qualities and many more are qualities of a traditional woman worthy of traditional treatment. It is really very simple. Traditional women deserve Traditional treatment. Non Traditional women deserve non Traditional treatment. If you aren't a virgin you don't deserve Traditional treatment because you are not a Traditional woman. Now luckily for women like that some men are lacking the self respect to do that and as such non Traditional women can still find a man willing to pay for her despite her not being Traditional
@jacobjordan not all men care about virginity the way you do. And telling a woman she isn’t deserving of a man paying a first date bill because she’s a virgin sounds insane. I’d never ever ever date someone that is so fixated on that, that they ask that before we have even met. It’s giving weirdo im obsessed with sex vibes. Usually men like that fixate on sex way too much
@kylee2437 normally men that care about a woman's purity care because he is also pure and doesn't want to be with tainted flesh and higher risk of relationship failure. Thousands of statistics showcase that women that have premarital sex are more likely to divorce and the odds increase the more premarital sex she has. Personally I wouldn't want to go into a relationship knowing the odds are likely the relationship fails. That would be stupid. I want to go in knowing I have given myself and the woman in question the highest chances of success at least in a couple areas
You can't control all variables that contribute to a successful relationship or marriage but not sleeping around is one of the ones a person can control.
@kylee2437 never said anything about respect though. I said traditional women deserve traditional treatment. And the first quality that determines traditional women is being a virgin. There are many others that determine further. For example being argumentative is a sign of not being traditional. Dressing revealing and trashy is also a sign of not traditional. Not being polite, soft, feminine, respectful, honest, trusting. Also not traditional
@jacobjordan you chose to @ me first when I brought up a point that this lady shouldn’t settle. It’s hindsight from a woman to woman that more than likely a man has made her feel like she isn’t deserving of being paid for in the first date. You chose to insert yourself in a convo that has nothing to do with you considering you found a woman that puts up with your arrogant ways already.
@kylee2437 further proving your modern woman attitude thinking it is arrogance for a man expected to provide traditional treatment to also want traditional treatment.
@jacobjordan you are rambling on about tradition, when in reality we are talking about paying fourth on the first date. You have been extremely off topic which makes me really want to believe you made up you are married with 3 kids. You have serious issues to be a man married with 3 kids
@kylee2437 a man paying for a first date is a traditional thing. Because historically men paid for dates 1st 2nd 80th etc. I have been on topic the entire time you are just upset that I know my history
@kylee2437 that is because he settled
@kylee2437 only a modern woman would call education arguing. You are the perfect example of what women should not be
@kylee2437 lol I should hope not I don't date garbage. And educating on how tradition works is not my preferences. I have brought non of my preferences into this lol. You wouldn't even be able to reach my preferences. Straight out of the gate you aren't a virgin immediately gone. Secondly you are argumentative even when wrong also out. I am sure if I actually knew you in person it would be exponentially worse. Though I doubt you could even afford to run in the circles we are in.
@kylee2437 this is a forum to help people with questions they have. I have no evidence to suggest you are a woman. And even if you are the fact you aren't a virgin just makes you a woman with no self respect and I certainly would not consider you a potential partner. You are likely riddled with stds and disease. Again I don't date trash even when I wasn't married. And you are proving to be as trashy as they come. Also my wife and I share the account she has dealt with trash like you before as well.
@kylee2437 lol obsess over what? A loose lipped whore who can't shut her fuckin mouth when she isn't even married. Spreading idiotic modern women ideology which has proven to only lead to single women and upset women while pushing men to seek actual women over seas? You aren't even worthy enough to lick the dirt off my shoes let alone obsess over. Go find some poor low self respect sod to pay for your low morals and no self respect
@kylee2437 again you aren't worth it whore.
@kylee2437 says the promiscuous woman that is trying desperately to suck up to me. You aren't getting anything from me so give it up. You aren't getting my money and I am thankfully on the other side of the world from you. Odds are you'd give stds by being in proximity.
@kylee2437 wife response: I did indeed. Where I am from women are women. I visited America on a green card for money and my husband (account creator) there. American women are quite unhappy from what I have seen and seeing how you behave it is little wonder why. I am a traditional woman and waited for the right man, a traditional man. Relationships in my country revolve around traditional gender roles which is why many of my countries women are marrying traditional American men like my husband. He has no reason to obsess over a woman that is 27 and still not married. You don't like what he is saying because it is true. Traditional women get Traditional treatment. American women are not very traditional but they continue expect to be treated as traditional women. Yes we share the account it is listed on my husband's profile that we do. Easier than making 2 profiles when the point is to answer questions together.
@kylee2437 you are the only person making things up whore. And you wonder why women had limited rights or no rights through out history. And I don't have to make up anything lol I can just give my phone to my wife but she doesn't like associating with garbage. Makes her feel unclean
@kylee2437 I pointed out 1 singular facet that removes women from being traditional and you being the perfect example of non traditional woman desperate for special treatment are projecting all your insecurities because deep down you know your boyfriend will leave you for a better traditional woman.
@kylee2437 Jacob is not wrong in this instance. You are.
@kylee2437 That is according to your self-serving definition of a gentleman. I disagree - a gentleman first of all cares for himself.
@kylee2437 That is a silly example.
@kylee2437 You are getting him food, paid for with his money that he earned. How generous of you.
@kylee2437 Of course he is the best. The only one that wants to have sex with you badly enough to pay for it apparently.
@kylee2437 No he does not. He has to pay for you every time the two of you go out. That is free for you, not for him.
The tradition of a man paying for a woman was a traditional benefit provided to women. The context was that women behaved in a traditional way meaning that she was respectful, polite, feminine and appreciative. Women collectively decided to change the way things work by demanding "equality", and choosing to be rude, hostile and to act masculine when they think it benefits them. Then for 10 minutes they want to pretend to be feminine to get traditional benefits. As a man you have the choice to give it or not. It makes no sense to give traditional benefits to someone who is not behaving in a traditional way.
I would not say it has anything to do with loyalty when it comes to a first/2nd date since there was never an expectation that a woman was committed/married to you just because you took her out BUT it goes back to what I say about rudeness and hostility. Today women want you to know that you're unimportant and that she is talking to/seeing other guys. I saw some videos on youtube where women are outright nasty to guys taking them out. The smart guys just dump the women on the spot and let them catch an uber home.
a blowjob but you don't want them
@chrissykerdock You're used to dealing with desperate simps and guys who think it's worth spending time & money on getting casual sex. Yeah, there's lots of guys like that but the numbers are dwindling each day. They say the simp economy is crashing.
WINTER IS COMING
i agree with that
generally it was older men i got a good meal and they had fun
@chrissykerdock You can stop fishing. It ain't happening.
i know that
Paying for a date is a very nice thing to do, but you DO NOT have to. Yes, people can have standards and some people aren’t compatible. Some people are looking for different things but you aren’t entitled to a free meal or whatever it is.
Opinion
20Opinion
I feel like any guy that argues against this really isn’t into actually dating, and a man not willing to pay is definitely not that interested in you as a woman. Just my observations of going on several dates and such.
Oh did you delete everything
You don’t like peoples opinions that goes against yours and when you don’t have a argument anymore you delete comments
I said it was a glitch. Also you seem to be a keyboard warrior too. I’m on here a couple times a week
I do think you place material value on relationships. Men who are worth their salt don’t want a one sided relationship. Where he pays for everything he does everything, and you can’t tell me what you bring to the table.
Women like that usually loose the decent men. They may have boyfriends that they hate and cheat on and degrade.
Hypothetically if I have a rich girlfriend. And I see how kind and sweet she is and how much genuine love this individual has for me. I couldn’t ever imagine using someone like that for money or complaining that I’m not getting enough.
There are also women who kind of are pushy. A man offers to go someplace. But she wants to go somewhere more expensive. Should she have to pay because she asked? Well I mean legally speaking. Both people should pay. Unless one chooses to pick up the bill
I’m not arguing. I said absolutely you can have your standards. But you think ALL men should be a certain way. You aren’t dating all men are you?
Legally speaking. You aren’t entitled to anything. And you seem to probably chase a lot of good men away.
Love is a two way street. You go on and on ahour who you’re gonna invest in. But refuse to tell me what you bring to the table
What do you have to offer. That a man…. Who meets your standards would chose you over billions of other women
@summeroflove that’s quite opposite from what I’ve experienced with men that don’t want to pay for things. The the funniest part about this, is because my boyfriend offers to pay for everything, I have enough trust to take my money out and spend on him more because I know for a fact he has me, so I have him right back. That is harder to do with a man that is expecting you to pay your way through. It puts less light and specialness onto things.
Sex? Is it sex? Lmao.
Because if that’s what it is. You’re in for a long road ahead HAHAHAHAHA.
If all someone has to offer is sex. That’s exactly who you’re gonna get. Someone obsessed with sex or a pushover.
This is why relationships end in divorces.
You know when people tell traditional marriages right? Women didn’t have automatic washing machines. Automatic dishwashers. Boxed dinners and McDonald’s
I don’t think most women who want a traditional relationship and wished we still lived in the 18 and 1900s would survive a day.
Those were badass women. Also they made most the clothes. The kids didn’t just get shipped to public schools like they do now
I don’t need to prove anything to you. You seem single and bitter , and that starts with you not even wanting to pay for a meal and having problems being authentic. Plenty of women in the comments have told you this already and instead of listening, you are choosing to degrade people you don’t know
Well. You seem one sided. You seem to care a lot about who you should invest in. But what do you offer. Besides… sex or anything like that
Another thing is. If you’re so happy with him. Why do you care what other men or women for that matter want.
I don’t care who you want or don’t want. But you make it into a personal thing. It tells me you’re not happy
And that’s great. But you feel that everyone should live by your standards
If you’re so happy and contempt you wouldn’t be getting mad because someone said something.
I wasn’t even attacking you. Until you started getting defensive
You’re the one who evidently cares what other men and women are wanting. If you’re so happy. Why does it even matter?
If you ever heard of a soulmate. Every human being is different and everyone has a different person for them.
If you’re angry and bitter that’s your deal. So many men and women feel they are entitled and don’t have to contribute anything to a relationship.
They wonder why they can’t hold down a relationship with anyone halfway decent. Get stuck with douche bags, abusers, low lives, pushovers, “cucks”, etc.
Same with men who end up with angry women. Bitches. Whores. The list goes on. Nobody decent wants them. At least not long term.
You know. There’s a lot of men and women who think who genuinely have good amazing hearts. They will fix someoke. They will show this person genuine love and affection.
For some good people who are broken. Yes it can work. But some people don’t want to be fixed. They want to play on someone else’s good heart and suck their energy away.
They learn the hard way very fast that there is no fixing some people and some people are the way they are by choice, and the choices they made.
Good people just have to remember not to become the monster they are fighting. And let these people turn them into the angry bitter nasty people they are
@summeroflove and the last person I talked to before my boyfriend was exactly like that and not only was he cheap, lacked effort on real dates, and it was quite weird that we would walk into some restaurants together and pay individually. That man showed me , he was never serious about dating and it all started with allowing him to treat me like less. Then I met my boyfriend that instantly just knew what to do.
Well I wonder why you attract those men. As I said there are those men out there
But love shouldn’t be based on money. If a man has money and is cheap maube that’s one thing. But if he doesn’t have a lot of money.
A real relationship is built on love and trust. Equal effort. Not just sex and materialism. Most those relationships don’t last
And if that man was having a lot of sex with you. It’s obvious that’s what he wanted. Again that’s not what I’m looking for.
I also don’t play games of “society’s what society deems as acceptable changes all the time. It didn’t used to be acceptable to be gay. Now you see pride flags everywhere
Well I’m glad it didn’t. But again. What matters is if two people genuinely love one another and are happy.
If you’re happy witn who you’re with now it doesn’t matter. Some people aren’t meant to be, it doenst make them bad
Acting like what? Not paying for a date. Lady… you place a lot of material value on relationships. There are also women (not saying you do it) who use men for free dates.
You’re not legally required to get anything free. Not paying has gotten people slapped with theft charges.
If someone isn’t your type. Then simply don’t go out with them anymore. You’re not dating everyone.
I think there are men and women who don’t want to put effort in and think that them just bringing a penis or vajayjay to the table is enough.
But decent people figure out there is a lot of men and women who have more to offer.
You know traditional relationships used to be what was acceptable. You claim you’re not looking for that. Maybe others would shame you for not being enough one way or the other.
If a woman is fine with paying. Why do you care?
That’s what I am saying. People have done it feeling entitled to a free date and skipped the paying part when the other person only paid their half. Happens a lot.
You seem really passionate. 40 comments? Really? Have a good night.
You claim to be so happy with who you’re with. But yet you’re here judging other people over their relationships. I’m sure there is people who look down on you too.
Which I’m not. Be honest about what you’re wanting and find who makes you happy, and who you make happy. At the end of the day. Love is what matters.
But too many people get obsessed over wanting a free date. Demanding a lot but not giving in return
Communication is key absolutely…. Some people expect another person to read their mind and become angry when that’s not done.
Communicate what you want. If two people can respectfully go their separate ways. That’s a lot better then trying to force another person to change. Some people aren’t meant to be.
But there are a lot of entitled people out there. Who feel they have a right to whatrver it is
I know. I’m a keyboard warrior with no life. When you’re sitting right here responding too.
I argue with men as well who hate all women it’s the same old story.
Either in a sexist who hates women or im a SIMP
Then that’s amazing. He didn’t have to pay. He paid because he wanted to. If you’re happy with him. Then you don’t need to convince men that they are wrong either
And you’re limiting your choices only choosing men who pay for dates. Quality over quantity…
People should choose who makes them happy
I’m not looking to date every woman in the world. People should be looking for the right person. Not approval of the entire opposite sex. As some do
I’m glad too…. That’s why you date to see who you’re compatible with.
@summeroflove it’s not approval of entire sex, it’s a woman that ends up with you is settling for again what every other average male isn’t afraid to do lol it’s tacky. My boyfriend isn’t even rich, and I have often paid for things for us so this isn’t coming from a woman that uses men for free meals or free things
There are people who I don’t personally hate. Just looking for different things. No hostility.
But some people tend to become bitter with the opposite sex
Well I’m glad you offer to pay. You make all these assumptions about me. I just think people looking for money are not looking for the right thing.
I didn’t say I’ve never paid for a date or would refuse to. It’s the entitled people
Nobody should settle for someone they aren’t happy with.
Incredibly incorrect 😂
@HawkPerception from my dating experiences , it’s 100%% correct
@kylee2437 well whatever works for you 😂
@HawkPerception my lessons learned from dating have worked well
For me
@kylee2437 everyone has different methods, and they can all work out, but do you at least pay half for rent?
@HawkPerception I pay my own rent sweet heart
@kylee2437 well so does he. My point being, is your time more valuable than his for him to have to pay for your time? Are you not also interested in him to be as invested? Women get paid the same as men nowadays, so why should we have to keep traditions of men paying the bill for the date when we don't live in times where women only made a fraction of what men make nowadays?
@kylee2437 does that not make sense to you?
@HawkPerception I offered to pay tip and he happily declined and paid for everything. in my opinion that means he’s not only interested in me, but also interested in taking on an extra investment because a relationship is an investment. It’s from my own experiences of dating. A man that makes you pay, is often only wanting something on his own terms and doesn’t want something that may inconvenience other things going on in his life. It’s a no thank to me especially when I’ve experienced men that do things without question
@kylee2437 Not trying to hate on what you say... as I said it's whatever works for you, but your logic isn't there. You say the guy paying for everything shows he's invested. Are you also not invested?
And that is actual nonsense of the guys that want to go Dutch. We're looking for a relationship. Not a sugar baby.
@HawkPerception I’ve paid for plenty of dates and thus more afterwards. A man being stingy on the first date says enough to me especially when there’s men out there that will do more for you if you just don’t settle.
@kylee2437 A man letting you pay for your own food and drinks is being stingy? If you're a strong independent woman, you can't do it yourself? Why does he have to pay for you to even be there the first time? So if it doesn't work out, you just get a free meal and walk away a happy camper and the guy feels used? Make it make sense 😂
@HawkPerception when there’s other men that have no issues with doing exactly that for the same exact situation , yes it is stingy. But that’s okay you can have whatever opinion you want. My boyfriend proved that what I’m saying feels correct and that’s what matters to me the most. I’m quite glad he didn’t consider us hanging out as me trying to get a free meal, we would’ve gotten no where in our talking stage.
@kylee2437 Going by your same logic, when there's women willing to go Dutch out there, be willing to be a teammate in every aspect, why would a man date a girl not willing to do the same? Women like to think that they alone are the prize, when both the man and woman are the prizes. Relationships are about teamwork and helping each other out.
@HawkPerception I’ve paid for other dates and such afterwards. There’s other ways of going Dutch besides being tacky and going 50/50 on one date. I’ve done the 50/50 crap when I was 20-21 with one of my exes and it was super tacky after a while.
@kylee2437 Yeah nevermind, you're not getting it. Agree to disagree. Wasting my time here 😂
@HawkPerception I do get it. Going 50/50 on the first date is super tacky especially when a guy presents that as a necessary
@kylee2437 Only to low IQ girls
@HawkPerception you think throw any insult you want about me. Men tend to hate when women know what they want and it’s a high standard. I’m glad that my man taught me I don’t need to accept low quality nonsense
@kylee2437 wait you're allowed to call me tacky and I can't say anything back? 😂
@HawkPerception I just said you can throw whatever insult you want about me. And I never directly called you tacky, I said going half and half is tacky. If you felt like that was an insult about you, that’s a you issue
@kylee2437 You're so hopelessly lost. Your brain just cannot function when it comes to logic. And the sentiment is shared. I'm glad to not have to deal with women like you.
@HawkPerception and thankfully I don’t have to deal with men like you anymore that have no romance bone in your body. I’ll thankfully pass
Yes a man should always pay. It’s apart of courting and showing interest in her! Real men pay for the woman they really like… money and time is the ultimate way a man shows real interest. It also shows that he’s a real provider.
F 50/50 bring back real men.
Who asked for the date?
If the girl did, she should expect herself to dish out dough for it.
If the guy asked, he'll likely feel obligated to pay the bill.
That's usually the case unless the girl offers to share which is a nice gesture.
Guys should not be threatened by girls who want to share.
m I have zero problem with the girl paying, me paying or splitting it somehow. I tend to work off whoever made the suggestion pays. A sort of throw back to university days when I was always skint. I would pay for those fun cheap dates and my girlfriend would cover the more pricey restaurants that I simply could not cover. Dating is about looking to be in a relationship, part of that is talking to each other and working out shit like paying for bills.
You should just pay your own bill. Order whatever you like and pay for your own shit. If one person orders more expensive stuff than the other person, they shouldn't have to pay a tax to make it an even 50/50. None one should have to pay for the other person. You guys aren't married. Your money is your own.
I think the man should OFFER to pay for the date and do it automatically, but not make a big deal out of it if she wants to split.
On the other hand, if a woman assumes the man will pay, and doesn't even bring money with her, that would be a huge turn-off and outright deal breaker. In other words, I will pay because I choose to, not because I am obligated to.
I do notice that many women with the opinion that the man should pay just happen to be many of the same ones that have sexist anti man and quite liberal opinions. (They are bad undesirable as mates for good quality men).
The man should ONLY pay/provide if she is a virgin saving herself for marriage. He should not be traditional if she is not traditional.
I have changed my mind over the past year. It does depend on how the date has come about. If I met a girl and we hit it off then I would take it more seriously and pay to indicate that to her.
If it was a tinder style date most likely 50-50 cause I don't have any other indications of serous interest. If she was dating a few men, I wouldn't participate.
whoever decides the date should pay. guy asks for a date, whoever decides where you go pays or pay for own food.
Nothing worse than being expected to pay and the date picking out of your budget.
I agree, if I ask her out and choose the location, then it should be on me. If she chooses it the next time because she wants to take me to one of her favorite places, then it should be on her.
But you aren’t entitled to anything for free. If you go out and they aren’t who you’re looking for that’s fine. You don’t have to choose to go with someone
To a extent I get what you’re saying. But if you don’t think you can pay for something. Ask the person asking you if they’re willing to pay. And bring some money just in case.
@Summeroflove It absolutely depends on your budget and whether you can afford to pay for both. If you can't then just be upfront and see if she or he would be okay splitting the bill. I was just speaking from my own approach. It's not necessarily what's applicable to everyone.
@OfMiceandMen yeah being upfront is always best. But it’s also best to bring sone money in case
depends on what type of relationship you're trying to set up. if you want to have a highly modern equal and liberally progressive relationship, paying on the first date would be dumb. if you want a traditional relationship, you should pay as the man.
Men should pay the first date, where is the courtship? Once in relationship then 50/50, sometimes she pay, sometimes he pays, they can discuss it!
You aren’t entitled. If that’s what you’re looking for that’s absolutely fine. But keep in mind everyone is looking for different things and it doesn’t make someone bad for being different.
You can choose not to go on another date. But you aren’t entitled to free things. Unless you want to get charged with theft of services. Which does happen
@Summeroflove yeah. You are right there too. For me, if the person like me then I need courtship, I will invest in the relationship, only have eyes for them only, will not cheat or disrespect them and of course I demand the same too. There's still good people out there. If you feel someone isn't genuine then stop dealing with them. End of story ~
That is true. Some people are looking for something different doesn’t make anyone bad.
Though I do think relationships should be equal effort. I would say bring money to pay. But if you decide not to go on another date. Just say you think we’re both looking for different things.
Some people act immature about it
@summeroflove I think it’s more entitled that there’s men out here that want you to love them at the price of nothing. If there’s men flat out willing to pay, and you are not, what makes you so good? You are already showing a bad character flaw by not offering what other men willingly and freeingly offer
@kylee2437 love is a two way street. And it’s not all men or women who are the problem. There are a lot of ungrateful women out there who their man does everything and aren’t ever happy. Then act shocked when they find someone better
@kylee2437 I don’t think someone’s bad for not paying for the first date. Nobody is entitled to anything. If you’re looking for different things that’s absolutely fine. You’re allowed to have your own standards.
That is why you date to see who you’re compatible with.
Love shouldn’t be based on money. If that’s what you base love on then I don’t think you can ever truly love someone. Because what happens if out of yours or his control…. You loose everything.
Love is built on trust. Not money and especially not just sex. People who are looking for those things end up very bitter in the end.
@kylee2437 you wonder why there’s 40 year old women who hate men with a passion. They tend to always give advice but never could hold down a relationship.
If you truly get to know someone and love one another. For who they are. Then that’s priceless.
Relationships built on materialism never tend to end well.
@summeroflove I can’t picture a guy doing much for a woman if his first action is throwing the first date bill onto the woman. Love is a two way street, however you are already setting the tone with being one sided / possibly you aren’t totally into dating at all. That’s reflected in other actions as well
neither... I pay for myself, and it doesn't mean 50/50 because we usually order different things
I onl do serious relationships
So, yes, he should pay. I didn’t grow up in a 50/50 culture. The man provides, while I just look pretty, take care of the house, and take care of his home needs. 🤷🏾♀️
If that’s what you personally are looking for that’s fine. But people are looking for different things just because you aren’t compatible doesn’t make someone else bad.
You aren’t entitled to free things.
Also all relationships should be give and take. Even in traditional relationships people work equally hard in separate roles. Most people don’t know what traditional relationships realllt are and someone ends up in a one sided hell hole
Men also hate entitled behavior. Ir chases a lot of decent men away
@Summeroflove I don’t think you read what I said.
Have a blessed day, hun! 💜🧚🏾♀️
so true
We should not, it is about equality these days, the feminists want it any way that suits them. Besides too many women are dishonest and manipulative these days, they will just take advantage to get free rides all the time.
I know what you’re saying completely. But sometimes you have to put your pride aside
Most women say whoever asks the other person out should pay, which is complete bullshit because it's always the guy who asks out the girl. What a convenient midset that must be for women.
The entitlement and hypocrisy of modern women is boundless.
"I don't think he's getting used since he's getting to take her out it's a privilege to pay for her"
A shining example of the entitlement I'm talking about.
@Apple1996
Lol. Well it isn’t all women. These are mostly women who are miserable and most decent men don’t want them. So they’re stuck with losers
If you ask a woman out on a date, then you pay. There shouldn't be any strings attached to it, otherwise what's next, getting them to sign a legally binding document?
Whoever idea it is to go on a date should at least offer to pay. It is called standard common decency. Sadly, many men on here are lacking in that very basic of qualities.
Nope 50/50 or discuss it beforehand.
Strong and independant, pay for your own shit then.
Being a female doesn't make you special or entitled, so don't act like it.
If a man asks, he should pay. Once in a relationship, it’s cool to split.
most men get a blowjob after taking you to dinner so they should pay let's be honest
@chrissykerdock It's not my opinion. it's a fact if you go look at objective numbers on the market value of a BJ worldwide. It's never been and will never be anywhere near the price of a good meal. But at least you admit to being a hooker. A lot of women who trade sex for food will never admit it.
@Apple1996 A funny thing happened 100k years ago when this chick said it was priceless and then gave it to 20 different dudes. The stock marker was born and her stock went down.
feel about it
@chrissykerdock Well, obviously. That goes without saying.
Girls also do receive cunnilingus after dating so? And if the girls wants to suck his cock, she's also doing it for her.
@Aiko_E_Lara a lot of guys will ask for one following dinner is that shocking
So youve dated multiple guys at a time for you to confirm? One can also just easily say, A lot of girls also ask for oral sex after dinner. A lot of girls also offer a blowjob because they wanna suck it.
who are these men getting a blowjob?
@debtfree_oneyear these guys up above don't want one
It's just hard to believe a woman would do thar just because a guy buys her dinner
@debtfree_oneyear they usaully ask when they drop you off
I've gone on several dates, been the one to pay and never asked for anything at the end of the date
@debtfree_oneyear a lot of men do one way or another
@chrissykerdock You think only your annecdotes matter. Sounds quite narcissistic.
@Aiko_E_Lara does it really
So how about if we think the same way you do? Our anecdotes also matter so what does that make you?
Depends on who asked who... if I ask a guy out I expect to pay. After a relationship is established things become a bit more fluid.
@northerngal you are piece of work
@MK1997 she is and she’s disingenuous
Nobody is entitled to anything free. Even if asked. Ask the budget and if you’re expected to pay your half
@MK1997 I’ve seen some of her other posts and it’s very disturbing
@MK1997 it’s why people like her keep their profiles private. They don’t want people seeing who they really are a extremely dark individual. Who may end up going to jail for a VERY long time
@MK1997 I’m not exactly sure but I do know I’ve seen her before saying similar stuff. Having sex with teens is disgusting and it’s criminal. So she’s gonna end up on a registry one day.
@MK1997 there was one post I remember that she was defending women engaging in bestiality among other disgusting things such as Incest.
Also her posts about teens having sex. She’s a disgusting person. It’s why she’s in her 40s and still dating. Nobody halfway decent wante someone like that
@MK1997 she needs Jesus if she isn’t just turned to a reprobate mind
@MK1997 yeah…
The man should always pay. There is too much competition in dating especially now a days. If you don't pay she'll find a man that will pay
But then you get used? So as men we should get used?
For what a girl that doesn’t shut up and cook and be submissive?
Think about it. We get the shorter end of the stick and deserve way more.
Women just exist and recieve.
Something needs to change we need equality like women fight for!
Wtf did I just listen too…….
Jeez you women think the sun shines out your arse I’m glad I’ve Said no to you b****s before on your face.
You earn a man’s respect after all we create and build everything. Men deserve all the cred
Entitlement at its finest
If she’s good then yes. But most just use men till they find what they want
Listen women just exist and receive. None of you are that special unless you’re obedient and obey your man. Then the man gives you his world!
Always dodging female accountability and now she thinks she's special simply for existing. 🤣🙄
@Apple1996 exactly! We live in a world currently with sassy sissy men that think women should just love them for the cost of nothing. And that starts on the first date when a man is making you pay your way because he’s truly not that serious about you or dating in general
@kylee2437 men now a days thinking they are the prize lol
I'm sure he does. Let me guess men should be traditional only when it benefits women, but women can do what they want and have 0 accountability because they 'take risks'. Halfbyoue opinions on this site contradict each other and all you do nowadays is bash men.
According to you women never run out of options, whilst men do, so how are women the prize if they're all competing for the 'few men' that are desirable?
And how many of these desperate men are ones that women actually want. A guy persuing you that you have no interest in, doesn't make him an option. If you're a mra, what about a man's right to keep his money after divorce?
@Apple1996 you won. He really just said he’s not an option especially when he’s trying to prove that there’s no importance in courting.
So if women would date men who don't fit their requirement? Since when. And what do you mean not his money? He earned it? You don't have a problem with a woman aborting his child with 'no limits', but men have to lose everything they earned. As for the other girl, trust a child to resort to some kind of attack.
Should always be 50/50
Sounds great, but sadly men and women aren’t equal I don’t think we can ever be
Overall we are. We might not be that same on every little thing but as far as equal as importance of humanity and we definitely are. No gender is better than the other overall. Anybody who thinks differently is textbook supremacist.
It’s not about being better than it’s no competition.
Men have it 100X harder than women. It’s like only we live in the real world and women get to believe all their fairy nonsense.
I’ve had girls shocked I had never had a girlfriend and think it’s weird because they haven’t attempted to understand how fucked it is a man
Listen women just exist and recieve
Something needs to change we need equality like women fight for
"women just exist and receive"
Smh.
You base all of your opinions on women having it easy on relationships alone.
Having a significant other isn't the end all be all. You can survive without a mate. There's other parts to life.
I'm sorry you've never been in a relationship but did you ever stop to think that maybe half of the world population isn't all evil and corrupt and maybe there might be something you might could improve about yourself?
If everyone around you is an asshole, maybe it's you who might be instead.
I can tell you this redpill incel view isn't ever going to help you mentally or get you any further with women.
Good luck though 👍
I agree 50/50
Normally men pay and, in fact, most men want to.
It should be 50/50, they don't feel obligated, and the man ain't poorer and also - make those working class women pay their share lol 😉😆
The asker should pay. And make it simple on the first two meetings so you can filter out the food wh*res, those who are only dating for the free meals.
50 50 for me so that neither feels used or owing.
If it’s the first date yes he should pay. But why demand she be faithful only to him?
Normally, no man wants women to pay the bill.
Are you planning to follow her around to make sure of your conditions?
As a guy I just expect to pay for the first couple of dates. If she offered to go 50/50 I would assume she isn't interested.
Going dutch is the way to go these days.
Someone who asked for the date should pay.
No because I need to be liked for who I am
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