Should the man pay for the dates?

Question

Or should they pay fifty fifty these days?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

in my opinion, that's the wrong question to start with. The better question is:

Are you "modern" or are you "traditional"? Because you cannot expect a traditional outcome if you are not a traditional person, nor can you expect modern outcomes if you are not a modern person. You also can't expect a traditional partner if you are not a traditional partner yourself, and vice versa.

In a traditional relationship, the man asks the woman out, decides on the activities (often with her input and preferences in mind, but HE ultimately decides), and he pays the bill. But traditional men expect, if not require, traditional women - women who prioritize family over career, women with low body counts, women who expect to marry and have children at ages that are considered young today (but are not actually young at all historically) - early-to-mid 20s. In these relationships, the man is responsible for working outside the home and paying most or all of the expenses, while the woman is responsible for keeping the home, bearing and raising the children, and taking care of the man when he's at home. Once the kids are in school full-time, she is free to resume her education/career if she likes - and normally she still has 25-30 years of working time remaining. This is the "traditional package", or as feminists would call it, the Patriarchy Package.

The other option is the "modern" relationship, in which the woman has a career, usually focuses on her advanced education and career-building (and/or chasing hot/rich guys who will trade some of his time and lifestyle for sex, but will never seriously consider a relationship with her), and who isn't looking to settle down until she's into her 30s. These women may attract lots of men for SEX, but the men they're going to attract for relationships are the ones who are okay with her being in charge, and will expect her to pay her half of the bills. It's likely that she'll be the one planning the dates too. You can call this the Feminism Package.

People are free to pick either package as they like, but you need to understand that these packages are inclusive - you cannot mix and match attributes, and there are no substitutions or deletions. You take the good and the bad with whatever package you select, and you should NOT expect to be able to switch packages after around age 28 - so whatever you picked, that's what you're stuck with forever. That's because your past behavior matters, and what's "normal" in one package will disqualify you from the other.

Once you understand who you are and what you are seeking, you already have the answers to the original question.

John_Doesnt · Accepted Answer

If she wants to be treated equal then she can pay her half. If she wants to be treated like a bang-maid then I'll pay.

designer1 · Accepted Answer

This is something that should be talked about as a couple. Every couple is different and no single way is wrong as long as both people are on board. Some men like to pay all the time or most times and some women like to do the same. Other time ms couples will agree to split it most times. Both ways are fine. I wish people would stop shaming others for whichever way they decide to do it.

Saarr · Accepted Answer

On the first date, in my opinion the one who sends the invite should pay. If I'm going out more than once, we take turns. However, for like expensive dates, like dinner or some other activity I like to split the bill. I don't like the thought of him spending so much money on me and around my age, guys usually have just as little to spend as I do😅

coachTanthony · Answer

These days most men can't afford a decent cup of coffee so no it's 50/50 in 2023 lol

Miristheiss · Answer

If he is a gentleman and wants to adhere to traditional rolls and he is searching for a traditional girl. At least for the first few dates

If not, then he is free to do whatever he wants and he doesn't need to be traditional if she isn't a traditional girl.

d_e141 · Answer

Oh that's a tricky one
There are two schools of thought
1. Yes and in Arabia even between guys we fight over who is going to pay and with girls we see it as a gentleman thing (with the right kind of girl not gold diggers)
2 . If you're very very close and you decided to have an outside meal and you are in the same financial standard
Just split the bill.

Theonlyolympian · Answer

Excuse me for not saying this correctly but of what I’ve heard is this. “If the man does not pay he wasn’t taught right, if the woman doesn’t offer to pay she wasn’t taught right” now I could’ve butchered it but that’s what I heard. Me personally though I’d say yes that the man should pay for dates.

Adam1978 · Answer

Only if he asks out and then if he picks the place. Otherwise it's 50/50 or her paying. He should not be paying if she invite herself to a date with him.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

Men should pay for dates period. He should not however fund any other activity for the woman such as trips, nor should he directly give her any money whatsoever.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say 50/50. But if he wants to be traditional its on him.
I know i wanted to do 50/50 but he incisted that he will pay for me too, he still does. Never got that treatment before but it feels really nice

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, the man should pay for the date, I like the old fashion style of dating.

Anonymous · Answer

@BrightBubblyKat Can you provide any valid reasons why the woman should not pay half?

exitseven · Answer

The person that offers the invitation should be the one that pays.

magiusX26 · Answer

should the woman be "a boss babe"? should she be a virgin?

Jennz6 · Answer

Always, men make more money than women and men are doing the asking out for the date.

shroy · Answer

If the man wants her time then he'll pay and if the woman wants his time then she'll pay.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

I invite, I pay. Hell, if I were asked out, I'd still pay.

Pete671 · Answer

fifty fifty imho, but if you invite someone you should pay,,,

Pohjolan · Answer

The person doing the invitation should pay but also gets to choose the place.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I'm old school I always pay

Anonymous · Answer

Pay until it’s official.

wannabecuck-2 · Answer

😊 equality.

In_Trance · Answer

50/50

Should the man pay for the dates?

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