I have big career goals. I want to focus only on my career. Do I have to give up on dating, marrying and creating a family?

Question

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

your goals should always be S. M. A. R. T. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound.

what is it you want to achieve in your career? how is you achieving that measurable? is that achievable and really "relevant" to you or in onther words do you even want it? in what time frame can you make it?

if you got all that figured out, create a time budget for your goal. your day should idially have time slots for all the different things you need to do in a day. recreation obviously being a part of that. so you need some effective recreational time or else you'll just burn yourself out and fail.

so when you're making this time budget, can you fit "dating" in there or no? that's how you determine wether you should be dating marrying and so on. see if it fits in your time budget and if no, maybe rethink your goal or your time budget, "if" dating marrying and family are important to you. also delaying these goals can be an option but then you should make a specific time commitment in the future for when you wanna do this.

you always gotta balance the time you have in your life with the goals you wanna squeeze into that time. obviously since you're mortal, you gotta compromise. how you wanna compromise is obviously up to you. nobody can just tell you.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

If you're very traditional & you marry a very traditional woman then you can build a career while building a family because your wife will not expect you to do household chores, cooking & cleaning after you already spent a solid 8 hours at the office, have to fix the car/plumbing/and so on. A lot of these modern women have been watching tv shows about rich women and fed the idea that they shouldn't have to do anything. If you make the mistake of getting with a woman who thinks she's too good to cook/clean it's going to hurt you as you're trying to build your life up. Or if she feels she's in competition with you... she will claim her part time job making $15-$19/hour is just as important as your full time six figure job. That her being stressed over her job means you need to give her a lot of emotional support & gives her the excuse to neglect doing anything for you.

In today's world you'll have an easier time building your life up on your own unless you're very, very careful to get a traditional woman.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

Depends.

You may be able to find a partner who is willing to tackle the majority of housework and childrearing for you. However, that still means you need to contribute to them and your household - money (since you'll be the main breadwinner unless your wife also works and somehow earns as much as you do), effort (to make your wife and child feel seen in the time you do get with them), thought, and consideration.

You'll also want to contribute to some housework and childrearing if you want to keep the house and/or family.

Be up front when dating or talking to people that your career is your focus. Hang with likeminded people and you may find a wife who aligns with your values - though she may not share your desire for family.

Being up front with who you are and your values is good, in my opinion. Being up front removes the power from typical "mind games" played by many folks on the apps - and acts as a way to easily filter out people who won't fit well with what you want.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

So many guys/gals DO take a dating hiatus while prepping for, let’s say, the LSATs, MCATs medical boards, or other highly-stressful and challenging periods in their lives or careers. It’s natural to want to focus on doing one thing REALLY WELL because your future is at stake.

If you’re already dating someone and ask for this time to focus, the person SHOULD be able to understand and give you some space because they love you and care about your future. HOWEVER this also doesn’t mean complete radio silence… A good go-to move in these circumstances is to agree to chat (phone/online) for a short while during your scheduled break from studying/prepping/etc. and the promise of a nice date after your exam/project/etc.

If you’re not dating, just step away from that scene for a while. Folks you’re meeting wonts see the BEST YOU if you’re stressed and preoccupied…. Better to wait till you have your confident smile back!

RingOfFire · Answer

Hate to say this, but if you really want to have a heavy hitting career, you need to make it your top priority. The main reason is that in order to have that kind of career you have to compete with other people who focus on nothing else.

But I'm not suggesting that you do that. That's what I did and looking back it was a big mistake. Put family over career or you will regret it someday.

After you reach a certain age all the money and success in the world won't give you happiness. But a loving family will. There is no substitute.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

if you can't commit to your relationship and your partner... don't create a relationship... it's simple as that

your partner would like to spend time together, do things together... it's a crucial part of being in the relationship...

StudyingAuthor · Answer

I have big goals, I haven't given up on dating. I'm going to travel the world after I become a doctor actually. Maybe buy a house in france and have a daughter or two. Who knows? Life is life. It's an adventure, a sensation that must be explored, so don't stop living!

abc3643 · Answer

These videos are for you. Ironically, these 3 are spread out over 3 consecutive years. Come to think about it, this was the greedy middle-1980s, so not so ironic after all.

1984: "Eighties", Killing Joke

https://www.youtube.com/embed/x1U1Ue_5kq8

1985: "The Big Money", Rush

https://www.youtube.com/embed/WQgu0MpnKq8

1986: "Big Time", Peter Gabriel

https://www.youtube.com/embed/PBAl9cchQac

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Not necessarily but if you do that there WILL be times when you will have to pick which one gets your time, attention, and focus. That conflict means your career won’t advance as you wish OR your family will either learn how to live without you as a center point of their lives or will grow to resent you. Having a career is a personal goal. Raising children is a sacred and biblical level duty. Messing up the order of that has consequences.

Time the family for when the career has stabilized and you don’t have to do the heavy lifting that is common at the beginning.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Let me answer your question like this; if you ever find yourself in a situation where you can't balance your career ambitions with a happy and healthy romantic life, it's because something about that situation wasn't meant to be.

Aubrey97 · Answer

It's unlikely you'll hold a successful relationship if you're only focused on big career goals. Being able to achieve those usually requires sacrifices elsewhere in your life. So if career goals are most important to you, then yes, dating while largely unavailable is something you shouldn't bother with.

paledreams · Answer

Yes, if you're now 30 , forget dating and focus on money, job, and more money. Lol. And don't forget friends and family to continue with along the way. However dating, forget 'em (forget 'em broads or if you swing the other fence, forget 'em guys)? Lol 😆🤣

Nirmroth · Answer

"Focus only on my career"
That only in your sentence should give you the answer you seek. If you only focus on one thing, dont expect to suceed in other parts.

But thats fine, got a friend who worked 5-6 years his ass off and now started to work much less and found himself a girlfriend while still getting the benifits of his career time (money, high position).

Mybeachlife8888 · Answer

Only if you’re unable to multitask. Why would you care so much about a career so much so that you would give up on life? Never makes sense. We get one life to live, and to sacrifice it “to focus on a career” is the dumbest shit I hear…. and I hear it all the time.

Anonymous · Answer

Spend 80% of your time on the 20% of work that gets you the results you want.

lornakrys · Answer

A successful marriage and family require work and time as well so if you're focusing "only" on your career then marriage may not be for you. If you are willing to make time for it, then you may be able to balance both.

RavVid · Answer

I think the answer s in your question. If you want to focus only on your career then necessarily you are not focusing on the other items  Careers last longer than marriages so you have the right idea.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you should give up on creating a family for now. But don’t give up on dating. At some point you would feel lonely. If the career is lucrative and you have plenty to give to a woman, you’ll be fine. Otherwise she would be disappointed that you don’t spend more time with her

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

You said you only want to focus on a career so why would anyone want to be in a relationship with you if you can't ever focus on them?

DaBiggestBird · Answer

For now, probably unless you have a stress fetish or something. If you truly are passionate about whatever is calling you, then I believe you should go through with it. Ask yourself which one would be more fulfilling.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, when you are an old man sitting on top of a big pile of money thinking about 50 years of working late, kissing the asses of complete assholes and having high blood pressure ir will bo worth it

avery58 · Answer

Not give up, but maybe you'll have to put family building plans on hold for now

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Yes. you do, because you stated you wish to focus ONLY on your career.

Anonymous · Answer

While your career will forgotten within a 100 years, your children's legacy can go on forever. This is why we work to support our families not for the sake of working.

Staximus · Answer

Don't have a girlfriend, wife, kids, dog, cat, etc. if you are too unconscious and self-centered to realize that you need to have plenty of time to dedicate to them.

Anonymous · Answer

Not really, no. I have a lot of thoughts on this. What specifically are your career goals and where are you on that path? What are your dating goals? Do you want to get married and have a family?

MrDaveAPSI · Answer

No, my parents have both. Happily married 35+, with one kid. They're getting older, and are declining in health, plus have loads of debt, but otherwsie, happily married, and work

Anonymous · Answer

Starting a bit late, don't you think? 30-35?

PapaJedi · Answer

You gotta give it up for now man Not necessarily forever, just right now

Anonymous · Answer

you can only have one or the other. never both.

handsomelad70 · Answer

You probably have to delay, but not give up on dating/marrying.

IloveWinters · Answer

No, you can keep things separate and focus on one thing at a time

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I did it am am doing better than ever

LiamJHayden · Answer

What career?

I have big career goals. I want to focus only on my career. Do I have to give up on dating, marrying and creating a family?

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Give up on love and focus on career?

I have big career goals. I want to focus only on my career. Do I have to give up on dating, marrying and creating a family?

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Give up on love and focus on career?

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