If I keep focusing on my career, will it be very likely that I am going to stay single for a long time?

[DenizLikesTennis]

so... in life my career is been progressing so well, I have big plans and all that, I study a lot... but , when I was younger, I could find a mate easily because I wasn't so... experienced as I am now and have different standards. Which means I'd mingle with her and then with another one, hook ups... I made little mistakes... she made little mistakes... now the women I see/encounter are not that appealing to me for a meaningful relationship <3. (they put too much effort on looks, are too flashy)... so I don't receive any vibes? I talk to them but it seems that they have too much TikTok and social media in their mind?

So I am thinking right now... now the position I am at in life... I really have to focus on my career and it's soo important right now... and that's going to take... like 4 years? Then I will be 30... and at 30 looking for a partner is way different than younger because you have to bring some stuff on the table already... which I should have hopefully... but as diligent I am working right now... it should work out.

now why I am saying this all is because I have realized that you have to put yourself out there... right? I mean... you just can't rely on waiting until she comes along... you have to put effort as well in meeting women...(but ironically, I have stated that the women I encounter are not I am attracted to) so if I keep focusing on my career, life goals, personal goals etc... it's very unlikely to find a mate... realistically... what do you think? Do you think that online dating on legitimate sites would be the best option from there, when I am finished?

Or is it actually until the time is right? at the same time I am thinking that this can really happen at any time... without to force yourself into something where you don't want because you don't feel like to... so you can find a partner? because your age is catching up?

Thank you for reading :)

please no insults, or being passive aggressive because they won't help me out in this situation.

[SnowedIn]

This is really well written and you ask a great question. My answer is that they're not mutually exclusive. Here's why. First, if you focus on career 24/7 you'll burn out. You've gotta have some down time. Leisure. Hobby. Even a coffee at the coffee shop. And you're bound to meet someone. Maybe even during a work related trip. But the other important point I'll offer is that when you're older and in a relationship you still have to balance career and relationship. The responsibilities and commitment are less and in fact are often more. So my point is that it's a little bit of a false equivalence that you can focus on career now and somehow carve out the time in the future.

I think you can do both now. And the right person is going to support you in that.

[DenizLikesTennis]

Thanks for your contribution and I appreciate your comment a lot!!

YOU'VE STATED:
"Here's why. First, if you focus on career 24/7 you'll burn out. You've gotta have some down time. Leisure. Hobby. Even a coffee at the coffee shop. And you're bound to meet someone. Maybe even during a work related trip"

~ I fully agree on that part. I also need some me-time and put myself out there. As I do it, I'll be meeting women. but there is also no guarantee if there are going to be compatible one's. So we can conclude that it will be a matter of time because you can't force something out of emptiness like a wizard. Lol. If you don't like her, then why bother? If she doesn't look in your direction, gives short replies and mutters then why bother? I do understand social cues. Do you know what I think and believe? She will or should have a hard-working mindset like me which I can imagine the chemistry of it. So we can assume my future spouse on work-related occasions. But these are assumptions. Who knows what'll really happen and where and when.

YOU'VE STATED:
"when you're older and in a relationship you still have to balance career and relationship. The responsibilities and commitment are less and in fact are often more. So my point is that it's a little bit of a false equivalence that you can focus on career now and somehow carve out the time in the future"

~True! A work-life-balance is essential for your well-being (Physically and mentally). And it should be adapted on your relationship so you both can have quality time together. Yes, I can do it both and be more open

[SnowedIn]

Really like your responses and your thought process. I admire how you're thinking through this.

[DenizLikesTennis]

Means soo much to me and thank you 🥳🥳 wish you a happy new year 2023🎄🎁🧨🎆

[SnowedIn]

And the same to you sir!

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[DenizLikesTennis]

Anytime! :)

[Guy13]

No, it is very likely at 28 some been working in the real world 23 year old will fall head over heels. And RESPECT you…respect is the kicker. Love and emotional Lust are up and down.