I am conflicted what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy (call him M) 5 years ago on Yubo we both go same uni first year. I recently moved to the city and because of covid I couldn’t meet anyone. We both are studying engineering we also have mutual friends. It started with us talking flirtatious then we started helping each other in school. Then it got toxic and we would just fight all the time all first year. In the summer I decided to cut him off. first year I met someone who turn out he is best friend with M. Starting second year we started talking again as friends and the three of us became a trio. Then in the summer of the second year me and M started talking then we started doing coop and that’s when we got extremely close. M has another best friend who always would make comments about M and I. Also, my sister is studying in the same program so M’s friend would indirectly ask if we are together. Also, M always try to jokingly bring up marriage and all in every opportunity he had. Moving forward I kinda got tired of him not defining anything so I asked him why are we and he said we are friends. That really bothered me so I cut him off ( by the way we are both Muslim we don’t date if ykyk) we started talking again then I blocked him on all social media cus i wanted to move on. I blocked him 9 months ago. He message me 6 times since then just bringing up random things to start a convo so the last time he messaged me. I sent him a paragraph explaining how being friends was just not for us and I would still say hi if I see him but I never want to me friends like before again and he said he understands. That was a month ago. As for how I feel. First year I hate him second year I liked him as a friend third year I really like him fourth year I truly loved him but now I wanna move on. I truly do still love him but he was just sending me mixed signals. I know I am the one who basically ended it I think I did what is right for me. Do u think he liked me and I should maybe give him another chance to fix up or not

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like you've had a complicated relationship with this guy M over the years. A few thoughts:

- Mixed signals can really mess with your head and heart. You were right to finally put your foot down and make clear you didn't want to stay stuck in that friendship zone.

- It does seem like he probably had some kind of feelings for you all along based on his behaviors and comments. But if he couldn't clearly say so after all this time, then he wasn't being fair to you either.

- You did care about each other, so your feelings make sense. But relationships take work from both people and trust is important too.

- Him still randomly messaging you periodically like that instead of giving you space to move on wasn't really respecting your needs either.

- I don't know if I'd advise fully reopening things unless he was really clear about his feelings now and you felt like he was ready for an actual chance at a relationship.

- You deserve to be with someone who chooses you and is proud to be with you without you questioning where you stand.

- Why not stay polite if you run into him but keep some distance for now to protect your heart? You've got so much potential for an amazing relationship out there!

It's up to you, but I'd lean towards still giving yourself space from him unless he really proves he's changed. You seem like a catch - don't settle for less than what you want! Let me know if any of that helps at all.