Are people who flirt constantly and say they’re just having “fun”, actually just really insecure and in need constant validation from other people?

Question

I only flirt when I genuinely mean it and get bored of super flirty people who lead others on or use other people to validate their fragile egos.

I have an ex (a man) who would say he liked to make women’s day by flirting with them and making them feel good about themselves. But I hate that. It’s an arrogant assumption that all a woman needs to feel good about herself is attention from a random, strange man, which is probably unwanted and nearly always unsolicited. It’s downright patronising and creepy.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

That’s probably part of the reason , Most people that flirt shouldn’t flirt , unless they are being serious , Flirting can stir up a pot quickly and make people assume things and take things the wrong way. I use to be a big flirt when I was younger just joking around and having fun , not realizing what I was doing was wrong at times. So I stopped flirting for fun and just flirt seriously with someone I am really interested in. When a girl flirts with me that I am not interested in , I will just smile and tell her thanks for the compliments but sorry I am already seeing someone , even if I am not seeing someone I will tell her that lol But if she is attractive to my eyes, I will flirt back with her , because now we are talking serious lol Most girls’ like to tease and flirt just for fun and I just laugh but sometimes it makes me upset if she is just teasing me.

V_Injector · Accepted Answer

Bingo... I think you already know. They lack self-validation. These people become instant cheaters when given a situation without their partner. It's literally so bad, their desire for approval, that they'll fuck someone they don't even like... in order to be liked.

Are people who flirt constantly and say they’re just having “fun”, actually just really insecure and in need constant validation from other people?

If any of that made sense to you, then you're obviously a genius like me.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Yes and no. It varies on the person & intentions.

I’m sorry about your prompt, he’s definitely not boyfriend material and someone you dodged a bullet. It’s kinda crazy but I swear a while ago in the past months, a man made a post asking if it’s okay that he does do that while he has a girlfriend because it makes him feel good to brighten up their day or make them feel good when he does it…. Hopefully that wasn’t your man, but guess there are a lot of weird bfs like that and I don’t think it’s cool either way to flirt like that when you’re taken.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I flirt all the time, sometimes subconsciously. I'm not quite sure if I love or hate myself because of it. I know I'm married, I know I don't want anyone else, and I don't need validation. Usually the ring is taken as, "I don't want anyone else," however, this is often ignored by guys. Some guys are flirty too. Sometimes I think it's fun, sometimes I'm repulsed.

blueonblack22 · Answer

I almost respect women more who do this in real world vs. incessantly putting up selfies of themselves on social media (especially ones who put up provocative pics and there are a lot of them). There are also women who go ok dating apps and match men to just get “virtual attention”.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

As a guy whose struggled w sex addiction I agree with you... He was in need of constant validation. You are better off without him. Answer mine when you're bored... It's in the same field if question...

When was the last time you had truly meaningful sex?

BrotherBane · Answer

Maybe. But he certainly managed to capture your attention with his flirting skills.

slatyb · Answer

If someone is constantly flirting but rejects all invitations to actually date, then yes. They want validation of their attractiveness, but are afraid of the intimacy of a relationship.

spartan55 · Answer

It does get rather exhausting. Some people don't seem to get that everyone doesn't take flirting the same way.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

for me, flirting is fun :D I don't see it as a prelude to anything else... it's a funny way to get to know this man better

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I'm sure that a lot of those kinds of people are out there. Some flirts are genuinely just having fun.

Sceprent · Answer

Have you seen instagram? Most women are super thirsty for constant validation. Oh it’s summer cue the bikini droolbait pics..

Still-alive · Answer

uhh no? i enjoy doing it for fun. i make it known to the other person too so there is no leading on or anything.

paledreams · Answer

No I just dont want the debt or the offspring or the balding or weight gain ahahaha

Anonymous · Answer

Its attention seeking behavior, and when said people are in a relationship, its a betrayal of their partner. The only validation and attention they should be seeking is from their partner.

Anonymous · Answer

I only flirt with handsome guys and it's comical. I can't flirt with guys that aren't good at it or else I get annoyed by them and then it seems like I dislike them but I just hate their lack of flirting skills.

just_a_potato · Answer

It's just for fun, if I'm serious I'm not gonna flirt with you, I'm going to be nervous to talk to you.

Anonymous · Answer

Some people just like people. They're not really being sexual, more social.

rienna888 · Answer

Yes, they shouldn’t be doing it in relationships. I think it’s disgusting. I have went on a date with a guy who blew a kiss at the waitress. Lol never saw that man again, well he was also racist.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Not me. I just feel like returning "ice bitch" when a guy makes eyes at me is rude.

DreamLife7 · Answer

There's definitely intent behind it and it's not good intent either

RingOfFire · Answer

I think you're the one with the issue. You sound like you are tortured and twisted by something so innocuous that it is harmless.

Anonymous · Answer

Only someone who doesn't find flirting fun, could think that.

DextroShade · Answer

Your assumption only applies to women. If a dude is flirting it's because he wants to get laid.

Bestdia · Answer

1 a night is probably the max... more potentials than that... gets a little old..

HawkPerception · Answer

Yup I'd say that about sums it up.

DishLady · Answer

Yes. You hit the nail right on the head.

TracyF · Answer

No, we're just naturally flirty

foxsquirrell · Answer

Possibly. I am not sure.

moneymagnet24 · Answer

No one takes girls seriously in this days...

Anonymous · Answer

Women do, yes. That's not how men operate.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think so

Anonymous · Answer

Anon

Are people who flirt constantly and say they’re just having “fun”, actually just really insecure and in need constant validation from other people?

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