Should you need to be happy with life outside of dating to have a healthy relationship?

[Anonymous]

I was talking to this guy earlier who got surgery to increase his height because women weren’t willing to date him…which is a feeling I get as a short man myself. However, it seems like he is basing his entire happiness around whether or not he gets laid…

And I don’t think you can enter into a relationship wholly dependent on the other person to fill a void of happiness…otherwise if they leave, you are a disaster…so my POV is, get at least relatively content with who you are as a person and have an exciting life outside of dating before you even consider hitching your wagon to another…

Thoughts?

[mandyfire98]

If you can't truly love yourself than you aren't ready to love anyone else.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah dude, I totally agree with your perspective on this. Going into a relationship because you're dependent on the other person to make you happy is never gonna end well.

It's super important to learn to be comfortable and content with yourself before trying to date. Like you said, you don't wanna hitch your whole life and self-worth to somebody else - that's too much pressure on any relationship.

I think what that guy did to get surgery was kinda extreme. It's one thing to work on your confidence or meet more people through hobbies, but changing your body just to date seems desperate.

Girls can smell neediness from a mile away. They want a guy who's a full person by himself before trying to become a couple. That shows you're stable and isn't just seeking a girlfriend as a way to fill a void.

Your best bet is really working on yourself first - your interests, social skills, feeling good about who you are. Once that's squared away, dating will happen a lot more naturally and healthily. Nice observation, man!

[LazerBean]

Yes, for sure. Two happy people make a happy relationship. Two unhappy people, or one happy person and one unhappy person, will only make an unhappy relationship.