Guys, Please can you help me out?

[Anonymous]

Around a month ago, I met a guy on a marriage/dating app, and we started a long-distance relationship. Initially, things were great, we talked a lot, and I felt like we were making progress.

However, along the way, I noticed that we started going days, sometimes nearly a week, without talking. When I brought it up, he often said he was busy with work and said he would reach out when he had more time. He also mentioned the challenge of different time zones since he lives six hours ahead of me.

He’s brought up the idea of meeting in person, suggesting we plan for him to visit me in my country, despite the distance between us.
But what bothers me is that he follows a lot of girls on Instagram and likes their photos, even though he claims to be busy with work.

And each time I reach out , it takes hours to respond to a single text message and sometimes dismissive and don’t seem to want to engage in a conversation, which is sad. I would have appreciated more if he comes upfront and tells me he isn’t interested.

But, I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but this behaviour doesn’t sit right with me.

I’m struggling to understand if he’s genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with me

I don’t want to jump into conclusions or rather assume anything.

I genuinely want to know what you the guys think, maybe you will understand better.

Please be kind, I have been through a lot already, I will appreciate your support and honest feedback, thank you.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm this is a tricky situation sis. A few things stand out to me:

- The lack of consistent communication after just a month of talking isn't a good sign. Long distance takes more effort.

- Him claiming to be "too busy" for you but still having time to scroll IG and like other girls' pics seems off.

- Taking hours to reply to simple texts is disrespectful, especially for a new relationship.

To me it doesn't sound like you're a high priority to him at this point. All that "busy" talk could easily just be excuses because he's losing interest but doesn't want to be the "bad guy." Anyone truly into a girl makes time, you know?

I'd have an honest chat with him about your concerns. Pay attention to how he responds - gets defensive or keeps blaming being busy? And see if his actions actually change. If things don't improve, don't waste your time sis. You deserve someone excited to talk to you! This early on things should be going way better. Trust your gut feelings - they're usually right. I know it's hard, but look out for yourself first. You got this!

[Asker]

Well… I have actually brought up this conversation with him, telling him how I felt about the whole situation and he says “We have to meet in person” like he coming to my country would be much better and clear. Second he always says he has a lot of work these days and no break. I even asked what was the best time to reach out to him, he says he just have a lot of work and more busy to come, as for calls he said, when he’s free he will let me know.
I had this conversations with him middle of June.
Nothing seem to have changed since that last conversation :(

[Asker]

And thank you for your support and kind words, I’ll try my best and thank you so much once again, I appreciate 😇

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh damn, that's really not a good sign then if nothing has changed even after you had that talk with him. I know it's hard to accept, but it honestly sounds like this dude is just not that into you.

If he was really serious and wanted to make it work long distance, he would find a way to carve out more time - even if just a few minutes a day - to connect with you. And saying he'll let you know when he's free for a call? Lame excuse. He's clearly making you really low priority.

I know you want to believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt, but his actions aren't matching his words. At this point, can you really trust he'll even follow through if he supposedly came to visit? Seems like empty promises. You deserve so much better than that, sis.

As hard as it is, I think you gotta let this one go. Don't keep wasting your time and emotions on someone who isn't fully committed. Plenty more fish and all that. You'll find a way better dude who isn't afraid to show you how much you mean to him every single day. Please don't settle - you got this! Hit me up if you ever need to vent or any other advice. Stay strong!

You’re very welcome also ☺️

[Asker]

Truly, I had be lying to myself, if I said I trust his words and all that it has been.
I will try to stay stronger and do my best.
Thank you so much once again, for your kind words, support, encouragement, the time you took out with everything, I truly appreciate.
Your account is private and I gave you a follow some minutes ago, starting with a double “di” 😊

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah dang, I'm sorry to hear it's been like that. But yeah, don't lie to yourself - your gut is probably right on this one. It's good that you're gonna stay strong, you definitely deserve way better!

And no problem at all for listening and trying to offer some advice. I'm always down to help if you ever need someone to talk to! Relationships can be tough but you've got this. Just focus on yourself for now and do your thing, the right person will come along who treats you with respect. You followed me back? Sweet, hope we can chat more in the future if you want a friendly ear! Keep your chin up 👍

[Emanon25]

I don’t think he’s serious in this relationship.

[Asker]

I feel the same way about the whole situation, which is really sad, I just feel stuck :(

[Emanon25]

Do y be sad

[Asker]

Sad because, why start something, not having the right intentions to begin with, foolish of me to think I found the right person, I’m stuck on the “what ifs” and the same time, I just want to forget about everything that it was.
Sometimes those confusing thoughts just pop out of nowhere.

[Nirmroth]

I personally dont think long distance rl work out if you never been with that person toghether for some months/years.

The fact that there's 6 h difference and he's slowly loosing interest would have me saying that you should come go terms with moving on.

[Asker]

This was someone who said he was okay with the distance, he said his only problem was “Timezone and his work” I don’t know what to believe, if it’s actually the truth or he’s trying to string me along, with the fact he said, “When I’m free I’ll let you know “ and nothing improves for days :(