Doing long distance?

[Anonymous]

How can a girl see actions from a guy when it's a LDR...

Anyone who has experienced this before and would like to share?

[DishLady]

It's unclear what you mean by "ACTIONS" however generally speaking, with LDR, the whole thing can flip sideways at a moment's notice. Even if you and your guy are exchanging sweet texts or calls or whatever, there's inevitably going to be that moment where the wires get crossed and one of you starts lashing out while the other has to just call the T. O. D. of the relationship. There's even a question of whether or not it's legitimately a relationship depending on things like sharing, consistency or reciprocity.

I had one very positive LDR that lasted a few years -- in which case we met in person, were together for months, then he started traveling for work, so there were frequent LDR spurts and frequent in-person spurts. The disconnect ended up being that he was soon-to-be arranged and he hadn't shared that with me when we'd started things off, so after a nice few years together we parted amicably. (T. O. D. = ~2 years. Cause of Death: Omission)

I had another LDR that lasted a few months -- dragging, tbh because one person shared everything openly from the get go and the other always preferred to be defensive about everything, sharing false information, not being stratight forward about things from the very start and laying the full burden of honesty on the shoulders of the person who was already being 100% honest. (T. O. D. = the 3-month marker. Cause of Death: Toxic Gaslighting & Shady Omissions).

One of my dearest friends is in an LDR that's lasted 10 years... leading to her marriage about 2 years ago. He comes here at the start of every month, she goes there at the end of every month and in between are a few weeks of LDR to this day. It works for them because they are 100% honest and open with one another about everything. They took the time to get to know one another, to love one another, etc.

Most importantly, the successful LDR couple recognized that LDR requires more time and patience, but also more blatant honesty and at a rapid pase (within the first 2 weeks of the relationship) as opposed to the dragged out and hesitant sharing that betrays a lack of trust in others... and more importantly in the person you're supposed to be growing closer to...

The key to a successful LDR is complete honestly and openness from BOTH the guy and the gal, otherwise it's a short-lived thing.

[HollyK21]

What do you mean see actions? Like how can you tell if he’s serious?

[Asker]

Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Saying it alone is not enough I need to see some actions!

[HollyK21]

I agree but unfortunately that’s the downside with LDRs. Aside from his words, it’s hard for him to really prove himself until you guys can close that distance.

[HollyK21]

I’m not longer in an LDR, but I was in one ages ago so if you have questions, feel free to ask. 💛

[BonzoInBitburg]

I've done long distance for a bit. Lots of video calls and send lots of pictures of what you're doing. Every time either of us went somewhere we took sent a pic and what we were doing that way if you don't hear back from them for a could hours you know why and it build trust. It takes 5 seconds to send a little update like that and it could save hours of overthinking

[Nikki1989]

You don't waste your time like that.

[BarryLiverstone]

If he’s planning trips to see you irl

[MasterKS]

digital era, live videos are there!