Would you be okay with your SO texting another guy/girl (with whom they have tons in common) every day, exceeding well over 1000 messages per month?

[Anonymous]

[kylee2437]

No. This is why I cut off one of my guy friends because our friendship was like this and I didn’t want my boyfriend thinking anything about it. And I would expect him to respect me in that way also. I have no issues with having opposite gender people in each others life, but there’s no way you should be associating with them as much as you do with your boyfriend

[Asker]

Why did you guys message that much in the first place and what about?

[kylee2437]

@asker because we were close friends and it was just random stuff , mostly gossip but later on I found out he had feelings for me still (we originally started out as a talking thing but I ended up not liking him) I gave him the ability to walk away when I rejected him, we remained friends. Didn’t think I wanted a relationship until I met my boyfriend and then I went back to my initial thought that men and women can’t be close friends unfortunately

[Asker]

Interesting, I am the guy in this situation who texts a lot with a girl who's got a boyfriend. She texts me pretty much all the time though every now and then she won't for a couple days. But she always initiates conversation, she likes to text me while she's drunk, she'll share music with me, and she vents a lot of her personal issues (like depression) to me as well. I asked this because I was curious as to how people feel about all this.

I would be lying if I said I didn't have some feelings for her but her boyfriend is literally the nicest guy on the planet, and I could never bring myself to try anything. Even with that said she has said things that undermine him such as "Girls don't like nice guys because it gets boring and we fell they have no backbone" and "Being funny is really important in a relationship, like REALLY important" (Dude is a sweetheart but is NOT funny in the slightest). I just don't know what to do

[kylee2437]

@asker I mean for your own sanity, if you have feelings, I would try and step away from the situation like I did with my ex friend. While it hurt his feelings in the moment, it gave him a chance to move on, and focus on a girl that’s actually interested in him (. he had this crazy idea that the girl he ends up with has to accept me being a friend) which I told him is bizarre because it’s automatically extremely unfair to the girl he’s seeing

[DishLady]

Honestly, it's childish not to trust your SO. There's no point in calling a person your SO unless you both trust each other to begin with. I have friends and family I text daily with jokes, questions, and anything else that pops into my head because that's just how we have been before the SO hit the scene. Why would that change because I'm in a new relationship?

[TommyMountainFigure]

No!
The occasional messages here and there are fine, but in excess of 1,000 a month? That's not a friendship, it's an obsession.

[Nikki1989]

That would never happen. We actually know how to talk to people.

[Anonymous]

No. I let it slide with my ex and they eventually ended up catching feelings for each other 🤷🏻‍♀️

[jahaims]

My wife can have male friends. Why would I care?

[Iron_Man]

Never