I’m pretty attractive I have other attractive friends we’re all in your early 20s in a pretty diverse and equally gender distributed area but none of us have guys approaching us much less decent guys approaching us. Where did men get the idea every attractive woman has a harem?
This used to be the case but things have changed drastically now. A lot of men have stopped approaching and courting. This may only become noticeable as the years go on. But what you will see are single events full of women and barely any men, big groups of women walking around but hardly any men and attractive looking women in public with no one approaching them.
I remember a time when I used to approach women, but lots of guys around me were also doing so. It was great fun and 99% of the women I approached were friendly and receptive. But I will never approach again.
If a bunch of guys just dropped out of dating altogether, wouldn't that make the issue worse in the long run? Because the only guys who approach or make contact with these women will be the "harem chasers".
@KlinkyCoder Yes, that's probably why a lot of women complain about low quality guys. The ones you mentioned are starting to be the majority doing the approaching.
@KlinkyCoder Actually, if you're one of the good ones, you stand out in the crowd pretty quickly. I've been married awhile, but there was one time before I was married when I was just so sick of guys all around me. Then, all of a sudden, this one guy came right on through all of the others and he was respectful and polite and interesting. And he's the one I chose and very quickly, too.
It is an urban legend that really hot women are alone because all the guys thing they are already taken or they would not have a chance.
There was a girl in my homeroom in high school that I thought was the hottest girl in school. I was really crazy about her. She was not one of the popular kids. I do not know who her friends were. She was not a cheerleader. I sort of figured she was dating college guys,..
A few years later I ran into a guy that lived next door to her. He told me that she never had a boyfriend and usually stayed home on the weekends.
Story of my life. Wouldn’t say I’m the hottest by any means but I barely go out aside from seeing friends, doing hobbies, volunteer work. Only had 2 boyfriends back in high school
I don't know what the difference is but I am usually kind of annoyed by the attention I get from guys, and I have friends who are too.
Not sure where you live but if you have actual decent guys who aren’t just creepy cat callers coming up to you count your blessings. I’ve never met a woman who said she annoyed she had so many great guys falling for her only ones sick of perverts which just about any woman can relate to.
I live in California. And yes, I do get attention I don't want, from guys I'm not interested in, or worse. But I also get attention from a lot of good guys who are just not my type, and thankfully some who are. So I don't agree with you about the vast majority of the guys who approach women being creepy or sick perverts. That's an unfair characterization and goes against my own personal experience and what I see in the world.
Everyone has their preferences in the opposite (or same) sex, but just because you get attention from guys who don't appeal to you doesn't make them all creeps or perverts. Let's keep it real and stop flaming the women-against-men bs.
@Dongie What?
Exactly how many men assume this about you, and why aren't they forming a line?
I’ve had tons of guys tell this to my friends and I when we express dating struggles. It’s not a humble brag or anything it’s a thing men will say to any decent looking woman who says she can’t find a date
"tons of guys"
... so there *is* a line. The guys are right.
Tons in my life time not in 10 minutes. Them commenting that they believe I have options Is not them showing interests. It’s usually in a bitter context not a kind or flirty one. I’d assume you’d know as a woman yourself
"tons of guys"
... so there *is* a line. The guys are right.
^Bingo^ This is it right here. OP is being disingenuous. They're called simping beta orbiters. Years down the road it's only going to get worse. And as eggs disappear, baby rabies will set in and men will be standing in other lines.
@PatKirby I will never understand men’s need to put down women who don’t just date anyone and tell them they’re gonna be alone and childless. Like I said tons in my lifetime, that applies to anyone most people, through their lives the average person has had a lot of romantic options. I’m not only dating 6ft billionaires. I want a man who’s decently attractive to me, kind, and has a stable job. Just because I haven’t met that guy 23 doesn’t mean I’m never gonna raise a family or fall in love. I swear some guys get so bitter and downright cruel off of a bit of information.
Opinion
37Opinion
That was the case for decades, but things really changed with dating apps and MeToo, which was the breaking point.
Prior to dating apps, people primarily dated locally, and a man's competition was the men in the local area. Dating apps allowed women to see and talk to, and in some cases sleep with or get money from (but, with very few exceptions, NOT get a relationship from), men around the world.
Suddenly, most men went from competing with the men in their area - mostly other average men - to competing with every actor, singer, rapper, athlete, and multi-millionaire from around the world. Women's expectations skyrocketed, and average guys got savagely rejected and told to stay away.
Then MeToo started destroying the careers of men who dared to say "Hello" or "You look nice today." Lots of men got the message loud and clear, and they have quite literally given up on women entirely and have built lives around themselves and hanging out with other guys. And they have discovered that it's a lot more peaceful.
This may not be what you personally asked for, but it's what tons of women asked for in your name. Now, if women want things to change, they are going to have to be the ones who do the work and risk the cruel rejection. You're going to have to offer men something that's worth more than their peace. That's not going to be easy for most women...
Those men have experienced and observed more rejection than receptiveness. Therefore the assumption that rejection is the primary interaction is justifiable. You kind of phrase the question as though you’re not being approached at all, but then you add something about “decent” men. Which actually lends credence to that assumption. So maybe you’ll understand when some of us don’t believe that you’re surviving a man drought. You’re not dying of thirst. You’ve just decided that you only drink Perrier. Ell oh ell!
My experience strongly suggests that nearly every woman has at least one good guy in her orbit who’s just waiting for the perfect opportunity to ask her out. She doesn’t see him as a potential mate, so that perfect moment never comes. Abstinence is difficult, but so is rejection.
Cause they’re too busy playing online games and watching internet girls get naked. They have everything on their phone and on their computers without commitment and responsibilities.
having a real girlfriend means having to work more to buy special gifts and provide and make items for events etc when they can just be home playing all day and when they get honey they go on live webcam chats and watch some random girl they follow get naked in front of everyone while others pay for it. Those girls get enough money for a bunch of surgeries so they look many times better than the average girl on the street, plus the skin filters that make you look lighter and peachy and puckered lips and nose with pink pussies and lips. These men leave their homes without much desire left. And with the inflation right now, even if they want to start a family, most feel stressed of even just the thought they can’t fully provide a lot for a child.
society/technology/filters/games and live porn is ruining us as a whole
of course there’s still some men and women who are still normal, but it’s just less of us every time.
@garykingg well family unity is not for everyone. Some people wanna be alone, it makes it a bit more challenging but those that really want a family will find someone if they don’t just sit around waiting. Those of you who think like you can stay alone trying to make random kids here and there, and grow old alone. Usually the kids you make, especially boys, never want to meet you.
I believe with time, those fatherless kids grow up and because they’ve grown up without a father will not want that for their children and they will make better decisions for their life than the men that created them and the time will come when the babies of today will make better families the future.
Usually men witness attractive girls in high school or college have orbiters and long lines of dudes wanting to date them and figure that's how it will be in the majority of situations. They're more likely to generalize with that kind of thing.
Women will then be the exception to the rule and think, "why do men make assumptions?"
But gender aside I think people come up with assumptions in their head to avoid stressful or difficult situations. It's nerve wracking to ask a pretty girl out so you just tell yourself "oh she'd never date me she can have any guy she wants." For a woman it might be like "oh he probably wouldn't like me because his ex was blonde and I'm a brunette." Basically just BS excuses because you're scared of rejection.
I've known my share of attractive women in my time. They did have a lot of men who were interested in them, but not a lot that they were interested in.
Some of them in fact were quite lonely because men seemed to be interested in them only superficially for their looks and it left them feeling as if they could never have a close relationship.
The more intelligent ones tended to be the lonelier ones. They wanted a man whose vision was more than just skin deep.
Like you, they couldn't understand why other people thought that they were so happy and had men flocking around them all the time.
@RingOfFire This ^. Spot on!
Because we know how men are when it comes to attractive women. The evidence of this can be seen online with women's social and dating profiles. Hundreds of men hitting up their dms... granted most of them are creeps sending unsolicited dick pictures, wanting sexual stuff, and just straight up weirdos that give bad vibes. women have to sift through this, but because there are so many, women leave them on unread, hoping they will go away. But within those massive amounts of toxic individuals there are also guys who genuinely want to date her... so yeah, we assume, because we know how men are.
trust the amount of genuine ones are so minimal there’s no reason not to try. I’ve had 3 genuine guys interested in me in the month that’s it and I wasn’t interested in any of them for a variety of reasons. You never know when you could be the one that’s compatible.
I know the genuine ones are minimal. That's why I said most of them are creeps
There is a woman I know who is extremely attractive to me. I have approached her and there is chemistry. There is another fuck boy that jokes with her but she seems to always look for me after he jokes. I'm tired of waiting and not knowing. The next time I see her I'm going to tell her that I want her in my life.
When all hope is lost sometimes a bright light glimmers from the darkness. You must grasp tight and hold on because if that light flickers and dies that light will fade in to the eternal dark abyss of life never to be seen again. Guide me home my bright light and stay in my life.
Men DON'T think this. But that doesn't mean we don't know women. We know women either have this and do this, or would do this given the opportunity.
The better question is why women (if they're good women) don't realize how many women like this are out there. Men didn't wake up one day and decide not to pursue women. Men are taught that. Because the REALITY is rejection used to be about 90% for most guys. Which guys were willing to accept. But it's about 99.9% now. And even when the guy wins he still loses. There's a whammy behind every door ("press your luck" reference). So you're wanting a man to pursue a woman that if she doesn't reject him will only tear apart his world.
Now what fool would sign on for that? We're not even choosing the bear. We just choosing peace and quiet.
I really have no idea where you’re coming from that women are sitting around waiting to reject guys and abuse them in relationships.
If you’re constantly getting rejected there are 4 reasons. Either you’re very unattractive, shooting way out your league or out of what likes you, approaching in inappropriate settings / your approach itself is uncomfortable, choosing very social or extroverted women. If you’re really ugly that’s not a male problem that’s an ugly problem work on your looks. If you’re shooting out your league or out of what’s interested in you you’re gonna fail every time. Same thing applies to women. You could be the prettiest lady in the word but if you’re goth approaching county club types too bad no luck. If you’re white and blond approaching latinas who like to date in their culture you’re gonna get rejected. Creepy and inappropriate approached are the biggest reason. Be able to take no as an answer, learn body language, and try to build something in common before immediately hitting on a stranger.
This isn't about me hun I don't need help. You asked a question with a misconception. I'm simply trying to help you. You want men to make an effort and you give these men nothing. And men learn fairly quickly when a woman is playing games. Most do today. Sorry you're too dense to understand or accept that.
Because they do if they’re engaged in any sort of dating platform. Fella below commented that at certain single events it’s all women, but that’s because people don’t do mixers anymore. I do coed sports and the idea is to let adults of opposite sexes mingle and it’s thought to get women there presumably for the same reason. Interest. But women receive tons of candidates online. So much so that they’re wildly picking. 80% of women in Tinder only right swipe the top 15-20% of men. This is why attractive women don’t think they have a harem at their beck and call. It’s because most men aren’t potential suitors for them. They’re all chasing the same small minority of men. This is in turn why those men can be more selective and or refuse commitment.
Why would you not? We give you the benefit of the doubt that you aren't crazy/narcissistic/into crystals/convinced that astrology is real/entitled until you prove otherwise. If you are none of those things, then there are multiple men who would very much like to date you. I can think of 5 women who would gladly take me up on the offer if I said "Hey I'm interested in dating"... why would we suppose it is any different for you?
The women around me and myself don’t even know enough men for that to be the case. The women with tons of options are partying types who know everyone. Which I don't quite get because those would be the ones more likely to cheat or be less committed to a relationship. Men don’t seem to realize the women without all the options that still have everything you want are investing in their hobbies and building themselves not out at a bar, men don’t come up to you when you’re not doing those things.
Unless you're in the Middle East, you have your coworkers, your friend's brothers, your brother's friends, people in your book club/painting class/charity 5k/whatever you do. I don't go to bars. Most of the women I talk to are at charity events or wine tastings. I would assume wherever you are that is similar to that has the same situation going on, because that's' where I am when women come up to me trying to court me.
Not sure where you are where women are courting men but I hardly ever see that and at last where I live volunteer work, hobby clubs are filled with women not men. My brother’s a decade other than me and I work in a female dominated industry. I'm not trying to just throw hurdles at you but this is my life. For me meeting men is hard.
I live in the States. I had two women ask for my phone number last Saturday morning after a charity race. Saturday night I went to a wine tasting, and after a woman asked to trade a glass of her favorite wine for some of my flight, we had a lengthy conversation ending with her asking for my phone to program in her number. Last time I volunteered at the animal shelter one of the staff said she wanted to hook me up with her daughter. I met a woman yesterday when I went to the wrong address for free range eggs. She said she didn't have chickens but she offered to make some lemonade and brunch. I said I could stick around a little while, we chatted, after I found out she's a great cook she asked if I was seeing anyone and gave me her number.
Men don't have hobbies where you live? I don't mean that as sarcastic or anything... just legitimately confused.
I live in the US as well and I seriously don't know. Maybe its because I'm younger and in college but if you ask a guy his hobbies most likely answer would be sports or gaming. I've asked a few before and they usually just think classes, groups, events that aren't concerts are stupid or weird. I feel that's especially true in regards to volunteer work.
It’s become such a big issue it's one of my biggest requirements for dating a guy, someone who has hobbies. I've met one guy my age who reads, a few who do art but none to who take classes. I also knit, write, and garden. I've gone to groups for those and have only met women. Occasionally older men but more like 40s or so.
I think one of the reasons you may be getting approached so often is because you're a man in these spaces where most men don't go. most men don't get approached at all from what I've heard so the amount you're being asked out is really shocking. In your case, though you also go to activities where it's female-dominated so the odds are in your favor a lady wants a guy with hobbies and interests like you enough to approach.
How peculiar. I'm on college campuses periodically for work. I have staff and students come up and flirt with me fairly regularly. Of course I'm not dating guys, so I can't really speak to that. All in all, however, if they "just think classes, groups, events that aren't concerts are stupid or weird"... you're not missing out on much by NOT dating them.
Gardening is wonderful. I love cooking a meal with my fresh harvest. I think that's something every man ought to be able to at least do at a basic level. I used to be a sous chef, so I'm admittedly better in a kitchen than a garden, but it's something I'm learning.
Are you in a small town? I mean to be fair, I am too, but I'm near a big city so I go to a lot of events over there. I've been asked a few times to join a co-ed kickball league here but I'm afraid I can't dedicate the time to it at the moment. That seems to be about 60:40 men to women. I wonder what all the men do in their spare time. It can't be sports continuously, too many of them have no cardio ability from what I've seen. I'm so sorry that you're saddled with this dearth of substantive men in your area. Are there any of the physical activities like hiking or rock climbing, that you'd have interest in, at which you might find a candidate?
Because they think every man approaches women, like they do, if they do. It’s actually not the case anymore because we are more aware of “picking cues”, “having social skills”, “reading the room”. I sometimes hesitate to hit on some women because nobody in that certain group does do that, so I feel I’m breaking some social norms. However, when I really like a girl, I don’t hesitate at all, maybe I make a fool of myself because I rush things, so as not to seem hesitant and indecisive. Often it costed me because they got a bit scared of me.
They are confused between hook up vs relationship. In general, men do the approaching more so they are on the other side of the spectrum which is why they can’t relate much. Attractive women obviously get more attention from them (whether it is wanted or unwanted) so they only count the fact that she is approached MORE. Many people put quantity above quality.
Loaded question for starters men determine your attractiveness. If you have don't have men approaching you then that's a sign that you're not attractive. Even below average looking women get attention from men. The other issue could be that you're not getting attention from the type of guy you want.
I know I’m attractive I’ve been in relationships and heard what their friends said about me. On top of that even if I wasn’t attractive I’d know my friend are attractive. I’ve been told by many men how attractive my friends are but they still don’t get approached. Drug addicts, high school drops outs, and old men don’t count as attention
@Asker So you validates my point. You are getting approached just not by the kind of men you want.
I will really never understand how men think women are picky for not wanting literal bums and men 3 times their age
@Asker TY for sharing and I understand your confusion. That's not why men believe women are picky. Women are picky because a lot of times they only qualify for bums. 3x their age isn't realistic because that would mean a 20yro is dating a 60yro that rarely happens.
I'm a decently attractive college student with a stable income. I don't party or club. 40-50 year old men approach me, drug addicts, dealers, dropouts, and guys without jobs approach me. That's the expriece I've heard from most women whether they have a doctorate or make 6 figures. There is no reason I should dating a guy without a job, a high school drop out, or a man my fathers age. When women say bums and low quality of men that's what were referring to.
@Asker Lol, again you calling yourself attractive is irrelevant, as women never are honest about their flaws. The better question is why are those the only men that are approaching you. You haven't heard that from most women you've only heard that from your small circle of associates. The problem you struggle w/ understanding is that you don't decide on who gets a relationship, men do. Apparently those are the only type of men that you can attract. Have you considered that your level may be bums, dropouts, etc?
Because attractive men don't typically approach women is an easy answer, maybe my area has a lower number of educated men, or the type of men I like are more introverted is another. Why would I date a high school drop out without a job so he can mooch off of me. Seriously some bitter guys are so stupid. Even if I was ugly my education and income still stands, thus I should date a unattractive guy with a stable income and education. That would be the most logical conclusion, your flawed response telling me my level is bums and dropouts lets me know you're advice isn't valid. You're telling be this to take me down a peg not that it's actually reality.
@Asker Lol, that's obviously not true. As you said, I'm attractive and I approach womem so thst disproves that right there. (Rember that's the same example you provided). You need to understand why you're only attracting HS dropouts, bums, and you need to stop asking why you would date them because I never said you should (u youst keep making that up). The other problem you're running into is that men don't care about a women's education and income. Sex, silence and sandwiches are your entry to a HV man. I'm not telling you your level is bums, you're telling me that because you said that's all you attract. That's probably because you are of average attraction, and don't qualify for the man you want. I'm just telling you what most guys won't.
The type of man I want would be anything similar to you or the type to expect me to be silent. Maybe you're idea of a high-value man is an asshole but I like interesting kind happy men with hobbies. You are a cookie cutter alpha male with no depth or substance.
@Asker All that matters is if that type of man wants you. Currently he does not you need to figure out why, and start by looking internally vs blaming everyone else.
Well I see average girls having guys basically drooling over so you would think the pretty attractive ones get AT LEAST the same amount of attention.. and tbh that's often the case, they have a lot of guys waiting.. but the quality of these guys tho, that's a whole different story lol..
I think this can be pretty accurate. I don’t consider low quality men as apart of a waiting line because they are not a viable option.
That's usually the case with attractive women. Men ask out pretty women, not unattractive women. The much higher the chances are she's either taken or can be choosy.
Because like for example, im watching a "catfish" episode where this guy, who isn't the most attractive dude, pretended to be this like really, tall, handsome chiseled young lad, and, got every woman to fawn all over him
They fell for HIS LOOKS, NOT HIM
that’s more talking about men having a harem of women not women having a harem or men. Obviously most people like attractive people, that’s not exclusive to women. Bring out a 10/10 blonde bombshell with a great body do you really think most men are falling for her personality?
We're attracted initially. It's when she starts treating us like shit, that we start to be like, is this even worth it?
They don’t date women who treat you like shit simple. I don’t date men that treat me like shit. Date people who actually like you
Right. SO WHY DATE THEM BECAUSE THEYRE PRETTY/HANDSOME
Or get someone with both. Someone you find decently attractive that's also interested in you
Doesn't exist. Perfection doesn't exist
I see FAR too many women complaining about how much attention they get from guys to believe this for a second.
The reality is, of course, is that women who are attractive, or at least think they are, get a ton of attention from guys, just not the ones they want.
cat calling and genuine interest are two different things. I get cat called and oggled 24/7 but guess how many of those men approach very very few and much less how many decent.
"... much less how many decent"
Right, just like I said. You get approached, just not by the guys you want.
Getting approached by drug addicts and getting sexually harassed in public does not count as an approach. I’m not talking about ugly guys I’m talking about thugs, bums, and men 50+
Mmm hmm.
From what I read on here, it has nothing to do with who you may or may not have lined up. It would seem men of your age are scared to approach women these days for fear of being branded a sex pest!
If you’re respectful I can guarantee 99% women aren’t gonna call you a rapist of anything. The guys people think are creeps are the ones that don’t take no as an answer. Although I don’t have men lined up there have been plenty of times I’ve been talked to by pushers, men who can’t take a hint or a direct I’m not interested.
I'm old school. I have no problem talking to anyone about anything. I'm extremely used to speaking with beautiful women.. I was DJ and a London Cabby, but you asked why,, and I honestly believe from some of the responses to females asking questions in here, that guys these days are terrified. Maybe they don't even know HOW to talk to women any more!
Might be the case. I haven’t even been in many mixed friend groups. At least in my experience the genders have become so separate
You're in the 18-24 age range. For me, when I was from the age of 11 up until 16 there use to be mixed clubs after school we could go to and nobody was shy.. guys and girls all spoke to each other in controlled conditions.. so that by the time we were your age, nobody was scared. it all worked well.. The other day though, I suggested to someone who had just broken up , to find one of these clubs and they told me nothing like it exists any more.. It's a serious problem for both sexes!
@yahyahyah I'm not for one second arguing that fact, of course there is a right way to speak to women. The point I'm making is, from the questions I see here AND the responses too, guys don't seem to know HOW any more!
Because you should…. Actually it is man’s way for his ego not to get hurt. If she has so many men chasing after her then her rejection of him isn’t so bad. Unlike her rejection of him being because she doesn’t want him. That would hurt the ego! So she must have so many men after her that she is just resting and not taking any more men at this time. Now his ego is in tact and he thinks non the worse about her. All is well for now….
That is what they like to think. It gives them yet another excuse not to approach.
Might be the case. I think guys nowadays get way to anxious just to say hi or start conversation.
Well "much less decent" are still guys, no one said the line would be action stars and Calvin clien models ffs.
And yeah every women gets dms from a bunch of guys.
A: they're afraid of rejection, especially from a hot piece like you.
2: because that usually the case!
Why can't YOU go after THEM, if you're in need?
Men are picky, women don’t care as long as you’re decently attractive and respectful. Men will never tell wise how brutally men reject women they don’t find attractive. Unless you’re a sex offender most women will let off guys easy. Not to add men don’t take women who approach seriously. If you seek out a man he immediately sees you as second choice or hoe, something that will take him no matter what. I’ve had it happen before 99% of the time yeah you’ll get the guy but they’ll always have that sense you wanted him first so he’ll treat you any kind of way. It’s one thing to start conversation but to cold approach a man is useless if you want a good one who values you.
Really? Could've fooled me!
You don't HAVE to go up to a guy and start laying out the make-out lines on him! Just casually walk over towards him and eventually just start talking to him. Just very casual conversation type stuff.
If you're at a bar, you could maybe do it this way. You spot him at the bar ordering a drink. You belly up beside him and order your drink then, just notice him there, face him, smile and say, "Hi." You practically have him right there! He gets his drink, if it's something specific, like, mai tai, "Ooo, is that a mai tai? What do they taste like? Mind if I have sip?" Chances are, he'll let you and you can strike up the conversation with him from there.
Maybe he's shooting pool. You wander over to watch him play. If he wins the game happily applaud him and tell him how good he is. If he's not very good and you're better at it than him, kindly step in to give him a few pointers. And I don't mean the ones on your chest. If he IS really good, you can ask him to try to teach you to shoot. "I always wanted to learn to play this but never got the chance. What's the best way to hold the stick?"
When you try to meet a guy, just act like you're just another person in the crowd and you just happened to "bump into him".
When I first started going to college, I didn't know anybody there. One afternoon, I was going from one class to another and had to stop to tie my shoe. While sitting there, this GORGEOUS, SEXY blonde strolls right up to me with a huge toothy smile on her face and says, "Hi! My name's, Jennifer. I saw you in the lunch room a few times and thought you were a really neat guy and wanted to meet you!" We almost instantly became the best of friends!! Sadly, she had a boyfriend but, BOY did I want her!! At one point, I even asked her to marry me!!
While in my piano class (I was a music major) this girl starts chatting me up and it turns out she lived half a block away from the school. After a few more classes together, she invited me to stay at her place with her so I wouldn't have to travel half an hour each way to get to school. So, for a while, I WAS living with her.
The first day I walked into my Music History class, I wasn't even in the room! I opened the door and was JUST starting to scan the room looking for a place to sit when this tall brunette in the back of the room excitedly waved at me and signaled me to go sit with her! So, I did! We got to be pretty good friends and she had me over to her place one night (no sex, we slept in separate rooms) so we could both drive to Indianapolis (8 hours away) the next morning to see her sick aunt. I only wanted to go for the ride. I ended up helping her drive, too.
In electronic music class, I saw a seat near the aisle in the back and sat there. This very quiet short girl about 4' 11" was in the seat next to me. I'm not one to shove myself onto someone else so, for at least the first 20:00, I hardly even looked at her and we never said a word to each other. The Prof. wanted us to write some stuff down and I had no paper so, I asked her for a sheet. She gave me one, then held out her hand and said, "I'm Kelly, what's your name?" I told her, we shook hands and have been the best of friends ever since. 22 years, this Aug.. Mostly because I'm old enough to be her father and nearly twice as tall as her. And, she's always had either a boyfriend or a hubby. I don't think I'd mind being her lover but, she's involved, I know her limits and I'm not gonna push it.
On the other hand, I've had SEVERAL women push themselves onto me!! Not that that's a bad thing, at all but, most often, they were already married, at the time!! I can't understand why I'm such a hot piece to married women but single girls won't look at me twice!!
To find a good one, it's best NOT to fall madly into bed with him on the first night!! Give it time!! Get to know him for a few months before you get really serious about him! Where's the fire? Between your legs? You've got fingers and probably toys to help with that `til you make the decision that he's the one! I met my future ex-fiance at a gig one night. It was completely by accident. We hit it off pretty nicely that night but, as she claimed she was married (she was but, he eventually got a sex change), I never bothered to ask for her contact info. When I had to split, we both thought we'd never see each other, again! About a week later, I was putting in an application at a drug store and there she was, at the door waiting for a bus home! SHE recognized ME!! "HEY!! IT'S YOU!!" I went inside and handed the app to the teller, no questions were asked so, I went back out to see who that was that knew me. Oh, yeah!! That Indian chick with the huge white teeth at The Artery!! We stood there and talked for at least an hour or two. She invited me to her place for pizza because she wanted to talk more about the records I was telling her about. Being from India, she didn't know American music as well as I did, having about 36,000 records, at that time. After a few more meetings like this at her place, we started making out and were together for 10 years... before she started cheating on me!! We met in mid Aug. and it was late Sept. before we cemented things and moved in together.
I can only guess that I'm NOT like most guys! I could even spend the night in bed with a girl, both of us completely naked, and I will NOT force myself onto her! It's mostly out of respect for her and because I'm just not interested in taking advantage of her. I'd much rather she see me as a guy she can trust than a guy she has to be afraid of. Other guys don't seem to give a shit about any of that! Anyone they can fuck, they'll grab the chance in a heartbeat! I'd rather be sure she wants it.
If I was a girl, I wouldn't wanna be treated like a cheap slut so, I'm NOT about to treat other girls that way!
And, I'll tell you something else, too! From what I've been seeing over the past 40 years, women have SHIT TASTE IN MEN!! If they've got a choice between a nice guy and an asshole, they'll fall for the asshole EVERY SINGLE TIME!! And, when he fucks her over, THEN she knows who the nice guy is and goes running to him for a shoulder to cry on!! But, does she end up with him? NOOO!! she goes RIGHT BACK OUT and finds herself ANOTHER ASSHOLE!! OR, she goes RIGHT BACK to the one she just dumped for BEING an asshole!!
Dating is supposed be kind of a long interview process for each of you to find out what the other is like and do you click well together, NOT "I've got a date with some new guy tonight! I hope I get laid!". If all you want is to get laid, just dress up real sexy and stand on a busy street corner.
But, you do what you wanna do! Just remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again the same way each time and expecting different results.
Do you want Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?
Because if girls wanted to have sex with us as badly as we want to have sex with attractive girls, we would have a line of women waiting their turn.
Fear. Unless she gives off "I'm taken" vibes, I'll appraoch any lady who catches my attention. My philosophy on this is "You miss all the shots you don't take."
I don't assume any such thing. I figure a girl or woman is out trying to provide for her bills, car and insurance.
Hot means taken or out of my league. Thats why you dont get approached. Simps gonna simp so 🤷🏻♂️
It's nit that, it's that you have no problems getting men
I do or else I’d be in a relationship right now. Same with any of my girlfriends. It’s near impossible to meet anyone decent and actually get a conversion.
You don't have any guys in the friend-zone?
Social media effects people's behavior. That's the truth of it
Put up a profile on a dating site and report back two days later.
Yes ofc it's easier on dating sites, but why don't guys approach in real life? Do they have such bad rejections? I don't go out in bars or clubs, last time i was out like 3 guys approached me who were very very drunk and it was not nice. When i wnded my last relationship no one was approaching so i tought the problem is me but as soon as i got a dating app a lot of guys were texting even guys i work with and see every day who wouldn't talk to me at all at work...
@Sunnysunny123
Did you miss the whole MeToo chapter?
You specifically requested this.
What?
@Sunnysunny123
Oh wait you must have been like 15 by the time we got o elevatorgate. Basically the socially acceptable norms on how to behave have shifted due to social pressure for better and worse.
Now the women being vehemently against guys approaching women might be a loud minority but if the silent majority has other ideas, its silent.
Because most average or better women do. Even if she doesn't know it, it's true.
Because most often that is the case
I think it’s really a delusion a lot of men think is frequently the case. Of course if you’re referring to OF models, instagram influencers, or super social/partying types they’re gonna have a long roster with tons of guys. For the average 6-7/10 attractive woman who doesn’t go out all the time or make a living off their looks most likely she’s not getting approached but so often.
Because she likely does.
Assume? make an ass of U & me.
BECAUSE YOU DO
ask any decent looking woman who doesn’t party a ton most of us are not swarmed with great guys who wanna take us out. I was just having a conversation the other day about how myself and the woman I was speaking to are in a dating drought.
“I’m pretty attractive.” Stfu
it means you're not attractive
Those guys live in the Internet.
Insecurity.
Because it’s normal
For party girls and extreme extroverts the ever far pretty girl isn’t having great decent guys approach her that aren’t cat callers or perverts
No idea
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