Should I be worried that all plans to meet up are initiated by me?

[Anonymous]

Been dating a girl again after I took some time getting over a long rl. In person it goes well between us but inbetween she's a really dry/slow texter and I always find myself initiating dates. Last time I let 14 days go by until I asked again just to see if maybe she says something.

We're dating since about 1-2 months so pretty fresh, is this normal and expected?

When I ask her out she is always down tho.

Been starting to think dropping her or at least dating other girls aswell despite me wanting to only focus on her at start...

[ManOnFire]

Drop her. She's not showing enough interest. If someone really, really likes you and wants to get to know you more, they will show it. They will ask you questions, they will want to see you again and offer up where they think you guys should go next time. In all those 14 days that you let pass before, she didn't even say anything. She's always down for a date because she's just along for the ride, with no real interest.

Let that one go.

[Asker]

Oh she is asking questions just answers very short and often 24h inbetween. I was very eager and interested at start and now dont even feel motivated to text back and kinda adapted her style of waiting 24h+ between messages. can't have a convo with a person that takes that long to answer.

I wonder if asking her about this might help/telling her that I would like to see her more often than what we have rn or if its to much investment from my side.

[ManOnFire]

Even if she's asking questions but taking that long to respond, she could be doing it just to go through the motions, just in some kind of effort to keep a conversation going even though deep down she's probably not that invested. She might even be talking to another guy/guys.

You could ask her, but personally I don't think it's really worth it. People who are seriously interested in you will do their part of the work. In my opinion best thing to do is go no contact indefinitely from here on and see what she does, but even in that be careful. She could reach out again past 2 weeks because she doesn't have anymore options but you, and you don't want to be treated like an option.

[Asker]

Ye I get it, talking about it won't magically make her more invested. Its more about knowing if thats how she is or if she's really not that imvested. Getting a conclusion basically

She told me before we started dating that she's a bad texter but never imagined it to be that bad. Furthermore she got a new stressfull job atm so that is what makes we wonder. Or maybe im just trying to find excuses for her, I am kinda lost.

I just hate this behaviour. My ex was like this to me aswell for over half a year before she broke up with me. That feeling having to run after someone you like fucking sucks.

[ManOnFire]

Went through the same thing with 2 exes years ago as well. From long daily texts back and forth and even "good morning" and "good night" to no answers until the next day, and then short responses when they did come.

If she admitted she's a bad texter then there's something to be said for her honesty. And if she's dealing with a really stressful job, that will knock life out of a person too. So maybe you could just ask her if everything is alright. Ask her how she's feeling about dating right now with her job and all.

[Asker]

Thank you, thats what I am gonna do