Whenever my boyfriend says he needs alone time, I feel hurt. What do you suggest I do?

[hannah]

[Finchie40]

Is it a common thing or does he request it once in a while? When he requests alone time? how long does it take for him to come back to you? There is nothing wrong with some alone time , only if it’s not a consistent thing and for long periods of time. If that’s the case? Then he is more than likely lying to you and being up to no good and something you should really reconsider. Most people that demand space consistently. in relationships , only care about themselves , they only give when it’s convenient for them. So ask yourself do you really want to stay in a relationship with someone that constantly needs space from you that doesn’t factor in your feelings as well? So if he is requesting alone time for long periods of time? You are best to do the same to him and give him a taste of his own medicine. Never stay in a relationship with someone that treats you like a convenience, someone that loves you and cares about you , wants you by their side as much as possible not the other way around

[ohsheeT]

Well this must be a brand new relationship. . And you feel lost with out him..

Or maybe you didn't say everything you were trying to to say in the Question.

But anyway there's going to become a day , when you truly know who he is.
And when you truly know him. . You already have a day planned out for your escape..

And when you see him getting antsy and just wanting that space you'll say hey I'm going to go to the gym or so and so and I are going to go shopping or whatever to give him that room that space.

I know for me I need my space I need to be by myself I need to be doing something because this is the moment where I reflect on everything and I grow I need those moments
.
I too am an introvert and I need my quiet time with the stereo blasting LOL just driving in the car building something in my own mind and my own space that's what makes me who I am and makes me become a better person...

One day you will say Yahoo I can see it it's time for me to go shopping it's time for me to go watch a movies time for me to go have my space to do my things.

When you understand him better . And the positives that come from his time alone it will help you grow too.

Even you need your own space
And if you live together. . You don't need to be cuddled up with him every moment you have to find things to do get online. . make something learn something. . Because when you might be saying too is I just need to breathe..

. And at the same time when I read your question I think that you might be talking about something else too is the vibe that I get but I'm not sure I like to read things into other things where I feel things when I read words so if that's the case then I understand what you're saying but it's not. . One day you will just say it's time for me to go without with the girls or do something

[jennifer_bloom]

I don't do this to get around the guy I'm dating but I find when I am busy working on something, I care less if I don't hear from him. He is responsible for caring for family members and has his own life so he is sometimes too busy to talk to me. I will give you an example, in high school I wanted to do a research project on mediterranean history for entertainment and asked a friend if they wanted to join me on my research. She thought I was insane for doing this when there was no class that was grading me on it and said no, she was not interested.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I'd suggest you make a list of things you can do when he needs alone time. I'd plan regular times away to preempt his need for space. I mean, you should have some kind of life, too. Go for walks, go to the gym, watch chick flicks, go shopping or get pedicures with friends, go visit family, take a class, etc.

If he's always saying that, even after you've been gone a lot, that's a red flag and you probably need to move on because your relational needs, and his, don't align.

[DishLady]

I suggest you get over it. ALL human beings need time alone -- whether it's the bathroom or gym or a long walk or downtime with friends, no one can stay GLUED to anyone else round-the-clock. You'd end up killing each other.

Go get a hobby or something.

[Jay-_-]

😂😂 "go get a hobby" spoken like a true mother.

[Jay-_-]

And a wise lady ofc

[DishLady]

@Jay-_- I am what I am...

[Jay-_-]

Truth 🏆

[kylee2437]

Make yourself busy. It’s unfair that he needs to deal with someone that depends on him all the time. He is just a human and needs to keep his independence

[AviatorTom]

Everyone needs some alone time. We guys in particular like to be alone, but not by ourselves.

Find something to keep yourself busy when he has his alone time.

[fairytale]

It's normal to want to be close to someone you care about, and when they need space, it can feel a bit like they're pulling away. But needing alone time is actually a good and doesn't mean he’s not into you. Everyone needs a little space to recharge, and it can make your relationship stronger in the long run.
What I’d suggest is to try and see it as a positive thing. Use that time to do your own stuff—hang out with your friends, pick up a hobby, or just relax. It’s important for both of you to have your own lives outside the relationship.
Also, talk to him about how you’re feeling. You could say something like, “I understand you need alone time, but sometimes it makes me feel a little off. Can we talk about how we can balance that?” This way, you’re not accusing him, just opening up a conversation.

[brandon]

Honestly, it’s something everyone needs. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you—it’s more about him needing a little space to just do his own thing for a bit. It’s a little bit childish to take it personally, try not to. Think of it as a chance for you to do something you enjoy too, or just having some "me" time. It’s actually super healthy for both of you to have that balance. Next time, try flipping your mindset—use that time to focus on yourself, and you’ll see it’s really not a big deal. When you both come back together, it’ll feel even better.

[NZGirl07]

That kind of feeling often comes from an anxious attachment style, which I've dealt with too. I would look up some articles/videos on it, they often have good tips on how to rethink your behaviours.

Overall you need to be able to trust your partner, and to love them enough to get they need some time to enjoy solo hobbies.

Why don't you pick up some new things e. g puzzling, gaming, walking, gymming etc. so you can do those when your partner has alone time. Soon you'll value your alone time more too :)

[Alwayreckles93]

NO! What she needs to do is think and realized this men isn't for her before its ti late. She should caught it on time before the wedding bell and says I do.

[luvstoned4him]

I wish I had boyfriends like that but most are extremely clingy

I like spending time with them but I need some alone time.

I always tell my friends when you get into a relationship, u do not stop being an individual or develooing your skills.

I have hobbies I like to pursue and series to catch up on and basically work to do on myself.

When you come back together then you can have fun talking about all the cool stuff you have going on for yourself and be more "interesting"

[strateguy632]

First assume he is telling the truth, he needs alone, from everyone nothing personal,

so go to another room. Write time of alone time. After half hour say "now me time".

Repeat see how many times each month he said it.

Mostly it is true as book men from mars said.

If it is every day or just too much, then dump him.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Everyone from time to time needs a little ME TIME, me included. As for you if your boyfriend says he needs alone time give it to him & down the road if you need some alone time don’t be afraid to tell him as well. As for the word HURT I think you should cross it off & replace the word with the word UNDERSTANDING.

[itsannalee]

Depends on the situation.


I don’t know your situation, but for example.
Sometimes my boyfriend wants to be alone or leave home for few hours or a day when we fight or have so much problem on his work. To avoid to hurt my feeling. He afraid that he will hurt me by his words.


And come back when he feels better and he like to talk.

[cheddar]

It doesn’t mean he’s not into you. Everyone needs space and it’s actually healthy for your relationship. Use that time for yourself, like catching up with friends. If it’s really bugging you, talk to him about it. You can say, “I understand you need time alone, but sometimes it makes me feel a bit off. Can we find a balance?” That way, you’re both on the same page.

[HawkPerception]

Everyone needs space. It's healthy in any relationship you have. Obviously if he needs space 24/7 then there's an issue, but space once in a while is definitely needed. A lot of guys will use the washroom as their alone time just so they can have their space from their partners. It's zen.

[rosemilk]

don't take it personally. everyone needs space. it DOES NOT mean they don't love you anymore. some peoples energies are just DRAINED and they need to decompress and the best way i would know how to decompress is to be left alone :)

some people are just like that. again, it has nothing to do with you so please don't take that personally whenever someone says that.

in the meantime, enjoy some free time with yourself. pick up a new hobby!

[JustinTheGreat]

I suggest growing up lol. Everyone needs alone time. Especially in a relationship.

if you really feel that upset when he wants alone time then you must have attachment issues or something.

You should get some hobbies or spend more time with your friends when he’s not around

[Ms_Facesitter]

It's normal to have alone time. I see it as him being out with friends. Then again, mine is an introvert and maybe because I am an introvert as well, I don't mind as much.

If he constantly needs alone time, that is when it becomes a problem. But it's not because you're in a relationship now that you have to do everything together.

[Anonymous]

Get over it. Get out of your feelings. Find something to occupy your time. Give him that space. Just tell him you’re here if he needs you. It most likely he will need sometime to figure out something really important going on. Not much you can do. Sure I get you’re upset, but this isn’t about you. He has feelings too, forget about yours for the time being. Be supportive by giving him space.

[Ladsin2]

You’re forty and I presume the fella is the same age. He’s lived his whole life alone or been married and divorced from a woman who he trusted that left hind either way he’s reliant on self and needs some distance to solve his problems. Let him be, and tell him you want to communicate after.

[Crazzyyworld]

I understand that happened to me a lot. I learned to play game a little bit. You have to learn to distance him a little. You will learn eventually how to control yourself and see the men as not really that much of caring or accepting your issues.

[Crazzyyworld]

He might pretend that he is your daddy but the fact is he just want to fuck. So stop giving him sex then he will change his attitude

[Crazzyyworld]

Everything is lie and bs. Don’t think him as someone other than dick

[IslaTheWitch]

talk to the specialist, the insecurities can make your and the people around you lives a nightmare

[sage2021]

I have to have my alone time. I get to do things I like to do.
Sometimes I just like to sit and think about things in my life for a long time.
Sometimes I just don't want to have to respond to someone. I just want to be still for a while.

[sm2desert]

Reading just the titles of a few of your posts about your boyfriend makes me wonder why you continue to spend such a significant amount of time in a dysfunctional & unhappy relationship. Life is way too short, give yourself a path to happiness and pleasure.

[Stetson]

Dump him, that way he has plenty of what he seems to need. Not saying this to be kidding either. Sounds like you got a really ass's and he needs to learn how to treat someone if he wants to be in a relationship

[avery58]

To learn to accept that every person needs alone time. Everyone deserves some personal space once and a while, being clingy is a turn off.

[avery58]

Once in a while*

[Nikki1989]

Give him the space he needs, but be there for him when he needs to talk.

[Anonymous]

Half of people process in their own time. The other half have a fear of being alone and need others energy for healing. He needs that alone time for his own health. I know if I don't get it I start feeling suffocated.

[Alwayreckles93]

Break up with him. It's better to get this relationship cut off before it's to late. Choose wisely.

[nawtee_me]

Give it to him and you take some alone time too. Go do whatever it is you like to do. If shopping then shop, or if swimming then swim. If it is painting then paint…. You need time to yourself as well to recharge….

[Sirenboobzilla]

Sometimes people just need to be by themselves to decompress.

[NathanDavis]

be understanding... and see where that is coming from

[lightbulb27]

Introvert vs extrovert issue or is he shutting down to svoid conflict

[bowenw]

I suggest you ask him what he does during his alone time and why he can’t do whatever it is with you around.

[Iron_Man]

Take on a sport that he likes and watch it with him and enjoy it. Maybe you complain about certain sports and he needs alone time. Try to bond with him more.

[Anonymous]

You're allowed to feel hurt. But you also need to deal with it. Find something you like doing that does not involve him, knowing that he'll be back and maybe a little more appreciative.

[Yamaal]

He doesn't like you. When I tell my boyfriend that we shouldn't talk for a while, no matter what happens, he will talk to me and we will solve the problem.

[In_Trance]

I suggest you give your head a shake and stop acting like you're a child

[Mike6658]

Well even in relationships the individuals involved still need their own personal alone time if not it will hinder the relationship.

[Empery]

Respect it. What are you without him on your own?

[jack1924]

Get used to it, maybe he is like this. But if it’s an new thing, ask him about it when he is willing to talk.

[LiamJHayden]

Accept that nearly everyone needs alone time.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Let him breath bro go get some hobbies friends, I don't know go get yourself a spa day

[Dongie]

Take up a Hobbie.
Get a yob.
What do you think?

[noohair]

Give him the space. It is what he thinks he needs.

[justabuddy]

Think back to a time when you needed some space. Then give him the space he needs but be there for when he needs you.

[Anonymous]

This is a you problem. Everyone needs space sometimes.

[Lynx122]

You have to grow up and get a life.

[HelpfulWoman]

at 41? get over yourself really.

[onedarkcloud]

Find a real full time boyfriend

[Ironco]

Leave him alone

[Pterodon]

Get over it. Everyone needs alone time

[OddBeMe]

Why do you need 100% of his time?

[jjj101010]

What’s he doing in his alone time?

[Ybssi]

i think its normal to have a time alone

[gorydetails]

Get over it.

[Jmmmfi4]

GET OVER IT