Where is best place to meet you're soulmate IRL ?

[Anonymous]

Where is the best non internet and app place to meet someone anymore?

[DishLady]

I met one of my all-time favorite people at a church social. We were together and really happy bc we knew we had the same values, quirks and dance fever, lol. Along these lines, I'd also recommend is if you're part of a volunteer group or special interest club, etc.

Met the (now ex) hubby at school. (Meh.)

OR (don't laugh) the local cafe. There's always some nice fellow who just had his first sip of coffee and opens the door, chats a girl up, etc.(You're the guy... so just remember to smile and open the door. If you get one of these snarky "I can get my own door." Don't pay that idiot any mind, always be a gentleman.)

If you're just trying to pick up "Crazy Girl Summer 2024" just go to the local bar/pub/club/lounge thingy closest to you.

[Serkee]

Everyone tells me to go to church to meet women naturally since I refuse to use dating apps, but the issue there is that I'm not a Christian. It would be very disingenuous and disrespectful of me to go to church or church events just to meet women.

Do you have any advice on how to approach and talk to a woman at a cafe or something without seeming creepy? I'm always afraid of making women uncomfortable, so I never talk to them in the first place. And yes, I see the irony in that, since I'm sure that makes me seem creepy too.

[DishLady]

@Serkee It's because of two things. The apps are all atrocious. You don't REALLY know if you have chemistry with someone until you see, talk and interact with them to discover their personality as well as your instinctive physical response to each other... So... go to places of mutual interest.

Church is the easiest place to find someone who wants to maintain their spiritual core -- values, morals, and all that. It's a healing space so you're more likely to meet someone at a moment where they've opened themselves up to personal spiritual healing.

If you're not a Christian, think about what you do that elicits that feeling for you. Is it communing with nature? Is it driving or cooking or painting? Think carefully for a moment... It has to be something that draws an intense feeling of healing out of you. Now figure out a club or group that meets up to perform that activity -- a hiking club or cooking class, etc. This way you'll meet a girl who is most likely there for the same reason.

The cafe thing is the most common in my opinion, because so many of us do have a morning tea/coffee. Personally, if you're helpful to a woman in that gentlemanly way -- open the door for her, offer to let her stand in front of you in line, offer to share your table if you see that another seat isn't available for her atm, etc. -- her defenses will lower a little. Between the lovely smell of her fresh coffee and your kind gesture she's likely to smile and let you initiate some small talk.

[Serkee]

I was raised in a Christian household, but as I grew up I grew more and more distant from the church, and organized religion in general. I do think that christian values, traditions and morals are great for society and a great template to build your life around, Jesus' teachings in particular, but I just don't think the stories in the bible are true.

While I do identify with Christian morals and values and I try to emulate them, I don't identify with the religion itself. So especially nowadays, it's hard to find someone who shares my values without sharing where those values stem from. And I'm not going to lie to myself or anyone else to fix that.

I've never actually been to a cafe. I work graveyard shift, so maybe it would be a good idea to stop at one on my home from work. What would be a good way to start a conversation without coming across as a creep? Because while being gentlemanly is all well and good, and I try to do that anyway, it doesn't really spark any further interaction. That's the hump I can never seem to get over, finding a way to actually start a conversation. I'm very self-conscious, and I'm afraid that no matter what I do it'll be unwelcome. While I know logically that's not true, that's the hurdle that always stops me.

[DishLady]

Well, think of them as being equivalent to Aesop’s fables or any other morality tale.

They were all written at a very different time and for very different people. Today we have more modern concerns however the value of the stories brings us back to core values from an equally harsh time to encourage us to have faith in ourselves and in the universe.

Yeah, organized religious are a little off, typically set up to be a sort of pyramid scheme that has once-committee followers leaving so their wallets aren’t drained dry while they starve.

For example… there are a TON of stories in the Bible about giving up all your money and possessions. While the moral is to lose all ties to the physical world to improve your soul (a message that got BOTH Socrates and Jesus martyred), it was twisted into a sales pitch to give all your possessions to the church… since medieval times… you can read about it in almost any history book.

We’re all just people, all flawed, all looking for something that will make life seem more bearable on a daily basis.

Strong people HAVE faith and resilience, but not everyone has enough of it to get through the day without leaning in their community, hence… temple, church, neighborhoods, even cheesy online chat groups. ;)

[DishLady]

Yes try the cafe thing.

Don’t rehearse lines. Once you’ve spotted the gal you like and done the gentlemanly gesture the words will come to you.

[Serkee]

They won't, I've been in those kinds of positions plenty of times. And every time, all words leave me and I can't think of anything to say. I somehow convince myself that whatever I say will make the gal uncomfortable, and I chicken out.

[Serkee]

So I think my best bet is just to try to put myself in that situation a lot more often. I really need to train myself to stop feeling like it's a waste of time.

[jennifer_bloom]

I found I met the best guys when I was travelling to and from work or when I was out at social gatherings with friends or family.

[TheWombRaider]

Umm that is dumbest thing I ever heard non internet app every app is on the fucking internet. Okay here you go the best not internet app to meet somebody would be the fucking God damn Church

[rachel776]

my story for when i'm on Oprah: my boss and her husband were trying to fix me up with this hockey player for-ever and i ignored him all the time. then he followed me to a show in West Virginia 🙄 on Valentine's Day so i went out with him that night and we've been together ever since

[Ms_Facesitter]

It can literally happen anywhere. If my relationship works out, it'll be on the bus.

[Anonymous]

Get their sketch made and Go find them IRL.

[rachel776]

soulmatesketch. com

[In_Trance]

Outside