Why am I always “fuckzoned”? How do you get out of the “fuckzone” and be seen as girlfriend material?

[Anonymous]

[MrOracle]

"Thank you! They are typically 6’+, make six figures, and have advanced degrees, so they probably have their pick with women…"

https://www.youtube.com/embed/azbLUJY2A90

It's so common it's become a meme. You're doing what every other woman is doing: chasing the top 10% of men (arguably more like the top 2% of men). Just these few categories eliminate 98% of men, so that's literally what you are doing. And as you point out, because these are the men that nearly ALL women are chasing, these men get TONS of female attention and they have zero need to commit to any woman to get attention (and sex, and other benefits) from those women. And so they don't commit - to anyone. Instead, they typically have a combination of one-night-stands and short-term "dating", and as soon as the woman becomes more of an inconvenience than she is a benefit, he dumps her and calls up another one to slot into her place (and he's always got 100+ women in reserve).

Unless you are, in addition to your "1" body count, also a trad wife with the body of a Victoria's Secret Angel, there's zero chance you'll secure a relationship commitment from the guys you are chasing. And even THAT girl is probably going to get cheated on even if she does get a commitment, because those men are SO used to having a new girl twice a week that they won't be able to change.

You need to recognize that in order to be a girlfriend, much less a wife, you must START with pursuing men who are "relationship men" - and those are VERY DIFFERENT from the hot, ultra-successful men you have been chasing - men who are the furthest thing possible from a "relationship man." Relationship men tend to be family-focused, and they tend to be closer to "average" rather than "top 2%", which means they're likely invisible to you, because you've spent your whole adult life filtering them out in favor of the top guys. Relationship men tend to prioritize being responsible and reliable, which means they tend not to party, or get wild, or street race, or do other "exciting and dangerous" things. You probably see them as boring and predictable, but that's what responsible and reliable is. And until you can learn to value those things, you aren't going to be the kind of woman a "relationship man" is looking for anyway.

I realize that you're only following your training - that the world has taught you to prioritize "Instagram values" over anything real - but as an adult, you have to take responsibility for your own morals, values, and behavior, even if that means unlearning what you've been taught and learning new things that go against what you "already know."

To put it another way, you're going to either have to pick the "I'm strong and independent and I can do whatever I want" path, where at best, men will use you for sex for a while, and you'll otherwise spend your life single, OR you can pick the "family-oriented, feminine woman with a solid relationship" path. Each path has rewards and requires sacrifices - you can't have both, because they're opposites - and because men have increasingly become aware of the difference between the two and are actively avoiding the former, except as "recreational use only."

[Malwi93]

this is the unfortunate answer to her question

[HawkPerception]

Words of gold as always man. Well said 💯 Nothing to add to this

[V_Injector]

They say women are the gatekeepers of sex, and that men are the gatekeepers of relationships. ... Now that I think of it, yeah a shit ton of INCELS may be the result of current times, but so are a bunch of women when it comes to relationships. But I already digressed.

You first have to be messing with dudes that actually want a relationship, and then that old question pops up... what do you bring to the table?

Women that have had their mind transformed by efeminism might respond with some bullshit like, "I am the table" or they'll give credentials like education, career, and money because for some reason they've been taught that men want the same shit that a woman wants out of men... wrong. Basically, non-traditional women demanding traditional men and they're not going to get that.

Try this... write down qualities you want out of a man. Then check those qualities against reality... because if you're demanding a man that has it all then why would he settle for you? He could have any woman he wants if he has it all. Just make sure your checklist of standards is set in reality.

Once you have realistic standards... don't open you legs for anyone unless they meet those standards. If the guy really wants what you want, he'll prove it to you... but that brings me full circle and back to the same question I asked earlier in a new form. Do you have what he wants?

This is a good place to get your vetting skills in order. I mean if the guy knows nothing about you, and just knows what meets the eyes, but he's acting like your average player laying the game on thick... that dude just wants to stick his penis in your vagina. Force him to get to know you.

[Factchecker]

There are several claims and opinions presented in this post, which can be fact-checked and analyzed independently:

Claim: "Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of relationships."

Fact Check: This claim is an overgeneralization and relies on gender stereotypes. While it may reflect the beliefs or experiences of some individuals, it is not universally true. In reality, both men and women have agency and make choices regarding sex and relationships. The idea of "gatekeeping" in this context is problematic as it suggests that one party has control over the other, which is not reflective of healthy and equitable relationships.

Claim: "A lot of incels (involuntary celibates) are a result of current times, and so are a bunch of women when it comes to relationships."

Fact Check: The term "incel" typically refers to a specific online community of men who blame their lack of sexual or romantic success on women or society. While it is true that some individuals may struggle with finding relationships or sexual partners, it is inaccurate to solely blame this on one gender or external factors. Factors such as personal choices, social skills, mental health, and individual circumstances also play a role. Additionally, the claim that a bunch of women are "incels" when it comes to relationships is misleading, as the term itself is primarily associated with a specific male community and mindset.

[Factchecker]

Claim: "Women who have been influenced by 'efeminism' may respond to the question 'what do you bring to the table?' with statements like 'I am the table' or listing credentials like education, career, and money."

Fact Check: The term "efeminism" is not a widely recognized term and may be the poster's own interpretation or criticism of certain feminist ideals. The claim that women influenced by certain forms of feminism respond to this question in the mentioned ways is an overgeneralization and a stereotype. Women's responses to this question can vary widely and are influenced by a range of factors, including personal values, cultural background, and individual experiences.

Claim: "Non-traditional women are demanding traditional men, and they're not going to get that."

Fact Check: This claim is an opinion and relies on vague definitions of "non-traditional" and "traditional." The idea that women with certain characteristics or beliefs can only be compatible with "traditional" men is simplistic and ignores the diversity of relationships and attraction. Relationships are complex and depend on a multitude of factors beyond these simplistic labels.

[Factchecker]

Claim: "If a man has it all, he could have any woman he wants."

Fact Check: This claim is a generalization and ignores individual preferences and compatibility. The idea that a person "having it all" automatically leads to their success in finding a partner is simplistic and disregards the nuances of human attraction and relationships.

Claim: "Women should have realistic standards and not open their legs for anyone unless they meet those standards."

Fact Check: This claim reflects a specific viewpoint on sexual behavior and relationships. While having standards and boundaries is important, the phrasing "open their legs" objectifies women and reduces their agency to a sexual act. It is important to respect an individual's right to make their own choices regarding sexual activity, regardless of whether they meet someone else's standards.

Claim: "If a guy is laying the game on thick, he just wants to stick his penis in your vagina."

Fact Check: This claim is an overgeneralization and relies on stereotypes. While it is important to be cautious and use vetting skills, as the post mentions, not all men who show interest or pursue women have solely sexual intentions. Reducing all male attention to a singular motive is simplistic and ignores the diversity of male motivations and behaviors.

In summary, this post presents a range of opinions, generalizations, and stereotypes regarding gender dynamics, relationships, and sexual behavior. While some of the points may resonate with certain individuals' experiences, they should not be taken as universal truths. It is important to approach these topics with nuance, respect for individual agency, and an understanding of the diversity of human experiences and relationships.

[Factchecker]

I think this character can be fun if I really push it with volume and target specific fuckwits.

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Factchecker Holy fuck I really like this character. It sounds just like the ones I used to really get on facebook during the COVID shit. Round of applause good sir, round of applause. ... This would work really well against some of these political wannbes, I need to sign up to be a factchecker. A particular one, like a facebook or WHO fact checker. 😂 🤣

[V_Injector]

@Factchecker It's strange how Factchecker is supposed to be contrarian in nature, but somehow the fact-checked opinions and points feel incredibly validating.

I wonder if my prior dealings with fact checkers have preexposed me to have a particular mindset. I always enjoyed checking their sources and figuring out the fact checkers were actually full of shit. lolz.

Thanks, COVID-19, for exposing me to so much human bullshitery that I will never again trust authoritative sources.

[The_Confusion]

Is he a dependent or independent fact checker? Will have to ask him, and then fact check him on the answer.

[V_Injector]

@The_Confusion lolz

[V_Injector]

@The_Confusion I know with politics these TDS fuckers spew nonsense all the time and I see where they're fucked up, but I can't pull the details of how they have their facts fucked off the top of my head. I think it's time I start using Chat GPT a bit more for that.

Chat GPT has a liberal bias and will try to bullshit me, but it does tell the truth when I badger it or tell it straight up that it's wrong. Would that be a dependent or an independent fact check?

[The_Confusion]

Must be independent even when biased. Because chatgpt doesn't receive funds from biden, does it?

But I use other uncensored chatbots. Those can write about how cool it is to get pounded by ten horror cocks at once.

[V_Injector]

@The_Confusion I just used it to answer this question
Do you agree that Donald Trump's actions are "not Christian" according to Pope Francis? ↗

I asked it very direct questions and I had to read through a bunch of liberal viewpoints to get the facts I needed. It does eventually give the facts though... it's just buried under all that bullshit.

I just printed out a Sam Sulek workout routine from it though... That's pretty sweet.

[DishLady]

If you're choosing guys who clearly only want your body -- and are presenting yourself as someone who very obviously prioritized physical touch and appearance -- then you'll probably keep getting in this zone.

girlfriend material requires a deeper appreciation -- personality, character, a kind heart, etc. You should let those shine through and tone down the physical.

[Asker]

But the thing is: I reserved and pretty modest in the way I carry myself.

[DishLady]

Then there’s something else you have to assess — either where you’re meeting the guys or the types of guys you’re choosing.

[Asker]

Thank you! They are typically 6’+, make six figures, and have advanced degrees, so they probably have their pick with women…

[DishLady]

Having their pick of females isn’t the same as having their pick of good women. They’re the types looking to F, which is the only point being made here, not their salaries etc.

[itsannalee]

Respect yourself more maybe.
No sex until you are officially dating.


If guys see u only as fuckzone, because they are looking down on you, maybe think you are too easy. If we can just taste a plate of steak, why would we buy a whole cow?

[ohsheeT]

Well you have to make people treat you that way you only become who you Are by the way that you allow people to treat you if you're flirty and easy type of girl that's what you're going to be looked at if you want to be looked at as a girlfriend marriage type girl straight up smart intelligent don't let anybody tell you what to do that's who you're going to be looked at. And then what you find that person and become that person then you can be a little bit flirty and get into that f*** zone I love that word damn

[Asker]

I’m not flirty (I’m reserved) nor am I easy (my body count is one).

[ohsheeT]

. Well that's the whole thing. You're all made of energy and the energy that surrounds our body is it 15 ft spand around us. And if you could understand energy and how to project it it goes even further than that but when people look at you you project an energy or an aura that's just pulls people in like a magnet are you an empath by any chance you're probably an introvert but anyway you probably don't have to say anything or do anything you can be walking on one side of the street and somebody else on the other side of the street and they're going to feel you before they see you

[SugarSugarplum]

"I keep getting fuckzoned" is not congruent with "my body count is one" Do you realize that fucking equals a body, right? Or are you saying that the second guys mention friends with benefits, you bail on them?

[Asker]

@sugarsugarplum

I ask a guy what they are looking for. If they say anything other than a relationship (“I don’t want a relationship”, “I’m not sure”, “I want something casual/FWB”) I take that as being fuckzoned.

[SugarSugarplum]

oh I see. I would call it fuckzoned if they actually fucked you. But I see. Good for you. keep looking. Those guys are adolescents who just want to use you to get their dicks wet.

[Sugar100]

@SugarSugarplum so if. A guy wants friends with benefits and u deny that , that will make guy see u as a girlfriend material?

[ohsheeT]

A guy is going to look at you how ever they want. .

But that doesn't mean that's who you are or want to be...

That's your choice and only your choice...

I want to give you a label or title. ... That doesn't mean that's who you are but it's your choice too to either hang out with that person or be around that person and if that's the case you have to show them who you are by the things you say and do...,

If a guy does put a label on you our title..
. You can always stop them right there in his tracks and say wow did you ever read me wrong if you're going to put a title on me or label first thing I'm a b**** or I can be a b**** but I'm not your b****..
... Then smile at him and said you understand that b**** give him a title or label...

... I say just be yourself be happy and forget about what other people think... If you let somebody walk on you they're going to or if you command they treat you with respect they will

[ohsheeT]

Your body count is one hell you're doing better than me I think I became a virgin again

[Sugar100]

Mine is 2 ☹️

[tzdc21]

Alright, out of the gate I'm gonna say this. You may need to look for different types of guys first and foremost. The guys you have described that you deal with in some of your other responses (6ft+ six figures) they are gonna have multiple other women interested in them, so why would they commit to you? What makes you stand out above those other women to make him commit to you? If that's too much for you to handle I would stay away from those guys.

Now what I will also say is what are YOU doing for the guy you're dealing with? Are you just showing up? Because lots of times, not every time, but lots of times when women complain about not getting commitment it's because they are not doing anything else for the guy. They're not reciprocating the effort that he's putting in. Add value to his life with even small things. Like clean his room if it is a mess, or cook a meal for him every so often, or if he has a business and his emails are a mess, organize them and handle them for him, or if he likes to play video games, offer to play with him so he has a hobby he can look forward to sharing with you. Things like that show effort and reciprocation, and THAT is what is gonna more than likely make a guy commit to you. You become an indispensable asset to him. Must my advice.

[Asker]

I appreciate the (actually helpful) advice. Thank you!

[tzdc21]

You're welcome

[sawno]

It ultimately comes down to who are you pursuing and are you what that kind of man would want? If not but your pretty enough you end up fuckzoned, if he doesn't want a relationship in general you end up fuckzoned. So many girls on dating apps fuck out of their league so to speak but think those guys are interested in them, while they aren't and it can create the illusion they are above the guys that would have been serious. So make sure that's not you and that you have the qualities the guy you are after wants.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you asked this VERY important question as there is a LOT of confusion about it amongst women.

Turns out, the key to getting out of the fuckzone is that you have to be desirable to be around even when you're NOT buck naked and servicing the D.

This might SOUND obvious, but there's NO shortage of girls who think the way to get around this is to be LESS desirable naked and to do a LESS good job servicing the D. That's a terrible strategy. You should instead work on upping your non-sex game.

[Asker]

Finally… some real advice.

How can I be more desirable to be around? I am a bit introverted and reserved, so I think that many men may perceive this as boring. I’m not a bitch or a nag, but I’m also not going to tolerate bullshit and will tactfully let you know if I don’t like something.

[Opinion Owner]

Happy to help! When you say you don't tolerate bullshit and tactfully let a guy know if you don't like something, exactly how often do you find yourself doing this and is it typically the case that you're being fuckzoned shortly thereafter?

[Asker]

I’m typically fuckzoned before the bullshit even starts because I ask men upfront what they are looking for. If the answer is anything other what a relationship (I don’t tolerate “I don’t want a relationship” “I don’t know”, “I’m not sure”, “I’m just going with the flow”, etc), I just assume that you are just looking for something casual/friends with benefits (hence me being in the fuckzone).

[Sugar100]

Im asking same thing how do u be deseriable to be around? By denying friends with benefits and deny sex?

[Opinion Owner]

@Sugar100 I'll message you Sugar, but that's a terrible way to do it!

[luvstoned4him]

Increase your standards
Make a guy work to earn you
Know your worth
Properly get to know a guy instead of jumping straight to sex
Work on yourself and your goals
Make yourself a priority even when dating or whatever

That's what I can think up for now

[WodensGedriht]

Increase her standards so she can get fuckzoned more? With women it's always about increasing their standards until they're lonely cat ladies.
Sounds like bad advice to me. If I was always getting friendzoned I'm pretty sure women would tell me to lower my standards (funny that isn't it?)
Maybe she should take more accountability and present herself in a way that is wife material.

[luvstoned4him]

@WodensGedriht clearly she is doing something wrong and I have seen this "f***zone* occurring more when you are too easy or giving men an easy pass. I see all the time. I am saying by increasing stands she should do something difference limiting access or something else cause clearly something is not working for every guy to be not considering her girlfriend material

[Vegasrunner]

@luvstoned4him These are the exact reasons why she's being fuckzoned

[luvstoned4him]

@Vegasrunner i only said that, to increase would mean to have standards in the first place. Guys dont treat me that way and I am by no mean saying that I haven't come across f** boys but I dont end up in those situations because I dont allow myself to fall for those traps hence the reason I was suggesting the standards. Sometimes a woman might be too friendly, too lose, etc which can give men the idea that she is just up for that

[Asker]

Okay. So… I’m not lose (my body count is one). It happens like this: I am upfront about the fact that I am looking for a relationship and ask him what he is looking for. If they say anything other than a relationship (“I don’t know” “I’m not sure” “I’m not looking for a relationship”) I assume that you just want something casual/friends with benefits hence I am being fuckzoned.

[Vegasrunner]

@luvstoned4him Imcreasing a women's standards means increasing the quality of man she can get. The higher value of man the more likely he is to have options the more likely he is to have options the more likely he is to Fzone her. Your personal experience doesn't matter.

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker you're only being fuckzoned if you are placed in the sex only category repeatedly.

[Asker]

I am being placed in the sex only category. These guys don’t want a relationship with me.

[luvstoned4him]

@Asker @Vegasrunner then its settled , those guys are hoes and want nothing good.

[Vegasrunner]

@luvstoned4him Men can't he hoe's, we are the hoe makers

[UnicornLobotomy]

Find someone in your league. Stop sleeping around so quickly, chastity is sought after by good men today. I knew a young woman in her early 20s going through a rough patch, very tough ordeal, but she stayed strong and even though she was an 8 anywhere, she didn’t drink or sleep around. She scored her a handsome rich dude just 6 years older.

[RavVid]

You might be more funzoned. That is be seen as for fun only.

Women decided to have fun in their 20's long ago. That is fine but men haven't necessarily changed their opinions. There are good statistically valid reasons for men not to.

I am assuming a lot from your expression of fuckzoned and maybe I have read more between the line than was intended.

[_Senorita_]

When you don't give away your everything... Your dignity.. your self respect to everyone... Before marriage... Every other person can just use you that's it... Think about it we women are not so cheap to give away our virginity so easily... That's why women should not think of them so low that they can fit with anyone... We should be strong enough to resist others... Just a boy wants sex... Nit every man!!

[Anonymous]

Why are you fucked zoned? Well my question is do you allow these men to sleep with you? If you do that’s EXACTLY why…. Men who aren’t sleeping around and are decent men. Don’t want someone whose being ran through. The guys sleeping around will sleep with anyone who lets them, even if they don’t see your as relationship material.

A lot of people like you will just marry the first person who knocks you up. A miserable life ahead.

[Asker]

……………. I’m not ran through. My body count is one.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay well you’re not letting these dudes sleep with you. That says a lot when you have plenty of opportunity to sleep around and don’t. On the other hand people who lie are worse. I digress.

[Opinion Owner]

Those are man whores. That’s what they want to do is sleep around. Finding the person for you takes time. Not everyone is meant to be even if you’re super attractive.

At least the men who are honest while they’re man whores. At least they’re honest about what they’re wanting. You have to be careful because there are people who aren’t so honest who string people along. Those people are of both sexes it’s not just men

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t worry. Those men will marry the first woman they knock up. Who even knows if it’s his baby lol…

[DextroShade]

For starters, immediately remove all piercings and tattoos, delete all thirst-trap pictures from social media, wear your natural hair, dress modestly and not like a whore, and remember the three don'ts:

• Don't be fat
• Don't be a hoe
• Don't be a bitch

[Asker]

I have no piercings other than my ears, no tattoos, no thirst trap photos (I don’t like taking pictures in general), I wear natural looking extensions, I’ve always dressed modestly, I’m a size 2, my body count is one

[DextroShade]

Well if that's the case you are picking the wrong guys. There are plenty of men out there who want relationships, but your standards are too high or you are chasing Chad. Go to the female delusion calculator and see what you score.

[lightbulb27]

Have to know more about behavior and patterns. Have not seen that issue w those around me.


My guess is your father failed to give yoi high enough self esteem to fight for your value.


So christ will have to.

[Asker]

How am I not fighting for my value if I refuse to entertain these situations? When a guy tells me we doesn’t want a relationship, I’m out.

[lightbulb27]

I read it differently that you were being used over and over. So they are demanding something for nothing and move on?

where are you finding these guys, how are you dressed and what are you projecting? That is what is needed to know. I hear women have troubles with this, but I see more find serious boyfriend's.

the rest may be environment,
it's sad, frustrating and unfortunate. it should not be this hard. we've corrupted the H out of a generation of males. well specifically... women have corrupted them and their absent fathers.

[Asker]

It goes like this: I am upfront about the fact that I am looking for something serious. The guy eventually tells me that he doesn’t want a relationship but would still like to hang out/get to know me (so basically something casual/friends with benefits). I refuse this offer and move on.

I find these guys online, at work, in social groups, mutual friends, etc.

I dress modestly and I’m reserved. I don’t know why people think that only women who look and dress like whores get propositioned in this.

[lightbulb27]

I'll give you my opinion, take for what it's worth. I find dating to be a skill and a process, not all unlike fishing. So many women I've seen fail, and there's lots of reasons why. And you know some women succeed over and over, get 2+ husbands. It's a game of give and take, building rapport and connection and communication. It is not a business arrangement /logical discussion.

If you are carrying yourself with value, then he should know that is whom you are, it's not a question. I'd be ok with "get to know hang out", but the answer is in how you respond not necessarily what is said. You seem to be reading he isn't serious at all... then it's ok to move on. But some need convincing to stay... and that means spending time with you and realizing how lonely and pathetic they are. Given you are failing, I think your messaging is too hard... cold... direct, too logical.
Additionally, this isn't the only guy you date... until he's committed. Should have options, so you aren't waiting around.

So it isn't just what is said but how it's done.
When I was failing miserably, I watched and read guys that wer having success. Do same with women that are getting what they want... hopefully some will give you clarity. This is not easy to explain in writing... obviously...:)

[Asker]

But why would I stick around if a guy clearly states that he doesn’t want a relationship? That’s how people get stuck in situationships…

[lightbulb27]

Stop assuming guys know what they want. Like i said… its fishing… or maybe better said… sales. if he's clearly a selfish jerk move on. If all you get are those guys i have to asm what cesspool you are in.

[altaboy]

For a long term relationship you need a guy who you want to be with, not having sex with. That's an entirely different kinds of thing. You have to look for what you want in a companion, not a lover, and maybe then you'll see potential in the men who will treat you better. I'm not saying that this is your fault, I'm just saying that you might be looking for and attracting the wrong men.

[Daniela1982]

By not having sex on the first date, and preferably not the first month. You just set yourself up for failure by saying I'm easy. Not many guys want a loose girlfriend because they cannot respect them.

[BetaBucks]

Aim for lower value guys. You're chasing guys that are above your level, and they're just going to fuckzone you. Guys on your level will want relationships.

[Asker]

How do I know if a guy is out of my league?

[BetaBucks]

Take a look at all the guys you've rejected. That's about what you should be aiming for. Especially the ones you friendzoned. I know you think those guys are losers and ugly, but you have to really consider that they're closer to your level than you want to believe.

The truth is that your level is probably somewhere in between the dudes you've been submitting to sexually, and the dudes you've been rejecting, sexually. And if you figure out how to give the same level of respect and sexual submission to the guys that worship you, as you do to the guys that treat you like garbage, you'll end up in an amazing relationship. I know it's hard tho. Or impossible. Human nature, and all.

[Asker]

I gave a guy that I friendzoned a chance (he begged for me to give him a chance for six months) and he immediately fuckzoned me.

[BetaBucks]

That sounds like some petty payback kind of thing, but you might have misinterpreted what I meant. You should look at the friend-zoned guys as examples of what you should be aiming for. Not upgrading those specific guys. That kind of thing tends to end up exactly like what happened to you. Not always, of course, but why risk it? Especially considering you'd be starting the relationship off from a foundation of rejection and insecurity.

[Asker]

The guys that I’m friendzoning just want something casual as well.

[BetaBucks]

That's not what friendzoning is though. Friendzoning is taking guys that want to be in a relationship with you, and keeping them as friends for favors and validation. Or, in case you can't manage to do better as you age/gain weight and your options decline.

A guy that just wants to bang you isn't friendzoned. He's just a friend that will bang you if he gets a chance. He's also not doing anything to maintain that friend status, the way a friendzoned guy will.

[Asker]

Men rarely express relationship interest in me.

[BetaBucks]

Sorry to hear that. I'm sure there are countless 45 year old overweight guys that would treat you like a princess though. Just go on a relationship-focused dating app and adjust the age preference up. Meanwhile, you can work on improving your physique and grooming standards if you want to improve the quality of men you attract.

I also forgot to mention that there's a small chance that sex with you is terrible and it pushes guys away from wanting to be with you. Do the guys that fuckzone you seem eager to KEEP having sex with you? Or is it more of an occasional thing? Hit and quit kind of thing?

[Asker]

Well, I’m a size 2 and I’m known for being very well put together.

My body count is one. When I say “fuckzone”. I mean, I ask men what they are looking for. If they say anything other than a relationship or if they say straight up, I don’t want a relationship, I perceive that as me being “fuckzoned”.

[BetaBucks]

Ahhhhh, then you're not fuckzoned at all. But all the other points stand. If you go after lower value guys, you won't have to worry about it. And, in general, older guys are looking to settle more than younger guys.

[Truthatanycost]

You stop saying 'Why am I' and you take responsibility for your own behavior. You can't control anyone elses. In other words, if you never have sex with them, how can they do as you said above?

[Asker]

They don’t want a relationship with me.

[Truthatanycost]

Have you slept with any of them?

[Asker]

No. Once I see that you don’t want a relationship, I’m done.

[Truthatanycost]

That's an excellent start. Maybe you aren't attracted to relationship material men.

[Pyrofox]

Just define what its gonna take to get to that "zone." XD. If all you say is I wanna get tipsy and party. Most guys will just oblige to the simple requirements.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

I mean, you're asking the question, but you're not telling us anything about you, so how can we know?

Maybe you keep getting fuckzoned because you're really hot, or you have a reputation of being really good in bed.

Or maybe it's something else.

Care to tell us a little bit about you?

[slatyb]

You stop dating men who don't share your goals, and you stop trying to trade sex for love and commitment. What do you want? The first date is not too soon to ask him what he wants.

[fantasticass]

Because that is the "vibe" you are portraying. You need to date someone for at least 60 days before having sex with them. If they don't want to wait, then he is not worth your time.

[Ladsin2]

Do you have tattoos? Do you put out too quickly? Do you smoke? What do you dress like? Who are you dating? Are you dating affluent men who have a plethora of options, or are you dating Joe Schmoe who has only dated three girls in his life?

[Asker]

- No tattoos
- Body count of one and that took a month
- I dress very modestly

Guys I’ve dated/talked to in the past three years:

- Find out he was married within three weeks of talking
- Had just gotten out of a relationship and most of his relationships seem to last less than a year and seem to be long distance (they live hours apart by plane)
- Guy said he was serious about me, but most of his relationships seemed to last less than a year. Also, he had an abrasive personality and I just couldn’t see myself with him
- Had just gotten divorced and was completing the first year of his residency and didn’t want anything serious
- Described himself as picky and could never find the right relationship. He said that he didn’t want to date because he was in a leadership position at our part term job.
- Chased me for six months and I kept rejecting him. I finally gave him a chance and he said that he only saw me as a potential fuck buddy. Also, after he displayed sketchy behavior, I did some digging and found out he had a girlfriend

[Ladsin2]

So you're picking bad men. Talk to older women and let them help you pick a suitor.

[Serkee]

You lower your standards. There are plenty of guys who would be happy to commit to you, you just aren't attracted to them.

[FunkyMonkee]

I guess you just have to pick the right guy and not spread your legs every time a guy wants some. Just because he wants it doesn't mean you HAVE to give it!

[normalice]

Don't do the sorts of thing that draw the attention of "fuckboys."

[Asker]

I don’t? I’m reserved and I dress modestly and I still get this kind of attention…

[normalice]

It's a "proof is in the pudding" thing. You clearly must be drawing their attention somehow. Perhaps try dressing like a slut and see if they leave you alone? I dunno 🤷

[Ms_Facesitter]

How long before you're comfortable sleeping with them and two, does it usually happen?

[Asker]

I’ve only had sex with one guy and we’d been seeing each other for two months…

[Ms_Facesitter]

My 'trick' has always just been to take my time and have see me for who I am as a person. The moment their flirting goes physical or sexual I kinda push away. Not to play games, but because I'm not comfortable with that yet.
There'll be guys who'll feel rejected by that and find their sex elsewhere and there will be guys who stick around because they genuinely like you.

[Vegasrunner]

@Ms_Facesitter The only ones that will stick around are the ones w/out other options. Those tend to be lower value men that women don't want.

[Ms_Facesitter]

@Vegasrunner The one who stuck around for me gets looks and get hit on though. He was okay with waiting, because he also came across partners who wanted to move faster than he would have liked.

[Vegasrunner]

@Ms_Facesitter Even if that was true, exceptions don't make the rule. The fact that he has to settle for a woman that can play games with him tells me right there that he's low value.

[Ms_Facesitter]

@Vegasrunner What do you mean, play games? How is taking your time with getting to know each other playing games?

[Vegasrunner]

@Ms_Facesitter Excellent question, as you admitted you realize that the man wants something from you in return for you to get a relationship. Your strategy is to push away the moment the man attempts to go after what he wants. This strategy is simply a tactic hence you are "playing games" which by the way all women do, however the only reason a man is still wasting his time pursuing a women that won't give him what he wants is because he can't get any other women. HV men w/ options don't have to tolerate game playing from women, we simply remove them from the roster.

[Ms_Facesitter]

@Vegasrunner But he also wanted a relationship and take things slow. That's not playing games, that just two people agreeing on taking it slow.

[Still-alive]

This guy is a known misogynistic incel on here.

[Vegasrunner]

@Ms_Facesitter He doesn't have a choice in the matter which is how I know he's low value. No man is turning down sex in exchange for a relationship, in fact if he did that to you, it would break you mentally. He's doing what he has to to get laid, because he knows he can't get anything else. If I took that same man and provide him an option of multiple women willing to have NSA sex, do you honestly believe he would turn that down simply to be in a non sexual relationship w/ you?

[Ms_Facesitter]

@Vegasrunner You misunderstand.

[Vegasrunner]

@Ms_Facesitter I've been too successful w/ women during my life for that to be true

[genericname85]

by finding the right guy for that. it's easy to get a man to want sex with you. doesn't have to be a great match for that, cause men always want sex. but for a girlfriend, men want a good fit.

[ManInChains]

Maybe by not intentionally getting with fuckboys and players?

[Kelley1]

Because young women are beautiful. After hitting the wall, women in their thirties are hides.

[avery58]

By not letting guys sleep with you without any commitment first

[WodensGedriht]

Women have the monopoly on sex. Men have the monopoly on commitment.

[avery58]

@WodensGedriht pretty much. That's why she shouldn't give it up so easily

[WodensGedriht]

Well how it plays out is women desire something more, so men can choose to withdraw until he's ready. Whilst being their girlfriend they have to prove themselves to win his commitment.
Which is kind of what men have to put up with when looking for a girlfriend to begin with.
People's lack of understanding of this leads to feminism destroying traditions that worked (unlike modernity), men becoming lonely, spiteful MGTOW types and women becoming spiteful lonely cat ladies later in life.

[Caps_d_ed]

Maybe the guys you've been with have fuckboy character. You should try people who aren't currently "your type", maybe you'll be surprised.

[Asker]

Thank you! I’ll give this a shot…

[Caps_d_ed]

Sure do. There's a lot of people out there who get sidelined due to the "type" thing

[DrPepper12]

It's the way you're present yourself and or have a wide circle of guys / ex's I think. Tell us more

[Asker]

I’m pretty reserved and I dress modestly. I’m not sure how I’m presenting myself as a fuck buddy…

[DrPepper12]

Are you "one of the guys"? ARE THEY just fuckboys?

[Asker]

No, I’m never really seen as one of the guys.

Guys I’ve dated/talked to in the past three years:

- Find out he was married within three weeks of talking
- Had just gotten out of a relationship and most of his relationships seem to last less than a year and seem to be long distance (they live hours apart by plane)
- Guy said he was serious about me, but most of his relationships seemed to last less than a year. Also, he had an abrasive personality and I just couldn’t see myself with him
- Had just gotten divorced and was completing the first year of his residency and didn’t want anything serious
- Described himself as picky and could never find the right relationship. He said that he didn’t want to date because he was in a leadership position at our part term job.
- Chased me for six months and I kept rejecting him. I finally gave him a chance and he said that he only saw me as a potential fuck buddy. Also, after he displayed sketchy behavior, I did some digging and found out he had a girlfriend

[DrPepper12]

That's odd. Are you young? Settled in good career? Too attached to your family? I don't know

[Asker]

I’m 31, I’ve been working in clinical research for five years, and have a good relationship with my family but I wouldn’t say that I’m too attached.

[DrPepper12]

I'm at a loss. Maybe these dudes feed off each other's vibes?

[ProbablyClueless]

Could be a personality thing. Your sense of humor, maybe.

[Anonymous]

If you've ever done hookups or friends with benefits, you fuck zoned yourself. Relationship girlfriend material girls don't have sex outside of committed relationships.

[psychobabble]

Why would any guy want a woman that wants to stop having sex?

[bobby_bush_eater]

Stop having premarital sex. That will solve this problem.

[gorydetails]

You don't. If you put out right away a guy will just use you as a hole.

[TallAnon]

Show them that being around you has more merits than just sex.

[shanshu]

The same way a guy can get out of your friend zone, once you know that answer let us know

[BetaBucks]

"become higher value" is the only answer. And it pretty much never can happen.

[shanshu]

☝️☝️☝️

[LiamJHayden]

Don't "put out" till the guy shows he cares about you and not just getting off.

[noohair]

Men don't need a girlfriend for sex. So you might be fucked.

[Wimpyshrimp]

Search for better men.

[MrOracle]

That's the problem: the men who are "better" (i. e., who want relationships) are men that SHE sees as WORSE, because she's exclusively chasing the top 2% men who have no use for relationships, and won't commit to anyone. When you say "search for better men", she's thinking: Men who are even BETTER looking, have even HIGHER status, and are even MORE successful - but those are even less "relationship men."

She has to be willing to sacrifice a healthy amount of the looks/status/education/popularity in order to get guys who have better morals, values, and life-goals - the kind that make for life-long relationships - but of course, she doesn't want to have to "settle." She wants the fantasy guy that doesn't exist in real life - the guy who has it ALL and wants to give it ALL to her and ask for nothing in return, for some reason.

[MasterKS]

most feels bad they won't fuckzone, you have reverse issue, are you easy one?

[alice55]

Stop talking to fuckboy

[jahaims]

Act more traditional or find a retired fuck boy

[Asker]

I act very traditional/classy and guy still just want sex from me.

[jahaims]

Then you hangout with low value guys

[Anonymous]

Stop fuckinv and let people work for it 😂

[Samantha_17]

Self respect and having a decent job..

[msc545]

stop fucking so quickly and easily.

[Juxtapose]

Select better guys like me xD

[Luckycharms12]

Probably to nice for your own good

[Vlonedre]

You are what you attract

[Asker]

What is that supposed to mean?

[Vlonedre]

It means how you carry yourself is how people treat you. What you consume in your mind and soul plays a big part in what you attract. Also setting boundaries with people plays a big part. Assess yourself and see what your doing to attract those type of men

[smurfwrangler]

you're not good looking enough

[Anonymous]

You must be super easy to have sex with.

[Asker]

My body count is one so…?

[Crazzyyworld]

It’s because American fucking dream

[Danny_dan92]

Don’t be easy

[Asker]

My body count is one…?

[Danny_dan92]

Well regardless do not give it up right away

[Anonymous]

Fuckzone?

[Asker]

Fuckzone: When one person wants a relationship with the other person and the other person just wants a purely physical relationship (and doesn’t want to commit or isn’t romantically interested).

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like friends with benefits

[Asker]

Exactly. So, I’m trying to figure out why men always want to be friends with benefits with me rather than date.

[Opinion Owner]

men nowadays wants is sex. You're too easy to refuse the sex and not ask for more or stop the agreement

[Asker]

“Too easy”? I’m not even sleeping with these guys. I’m always upfront about my intentions and I ask these guys what their intentions are and they tell me that they don’t want a relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Like I said before, men only wants sex now, nothing more, no Commitments. If you want more, then just simply tell them

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆

[Anonymous]

Maybe immaturity