Unpopular opinion: attractive single women over 35 need to stop dating men their own age and start dating men at least 10 years older. Am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

To be fair, I’m 40 and just figured this out myself, but I’ve had family members including my father tell me this constantly growing up (my father is 15 years older than my mom. They married when she was 30). I insisted on sticking to men my own age until about 6 months ago when I met a 53 year old who was so stubborn he kept pursuing me until I finally agreed to go out with him. Now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and why? Because the men my age are now middle aged and STILL don’t have their shit together. The last one let me pay for everything for him including his child support that he owed to his ex-wife and then dumped me because I made too much more money than him. My friend is 39 and she’s a lot like me before I met my current guy. She’s had everyone from her parents, other family members, friends, her friends parents, members of her church etc, tell her that the guys our age are not mature enough for her and she needs to start dating men between the ages of 50 and 60. She won’t listen, she sticks to men aged from 35 to 45 then gets heartbroken when she finds out she’s not worth more than a fuck to them and when she doesn’t give them that they drop her for a 20 year old. Not to mention that I bring her around my boyfriend and his friends a lot (trying to play matchmaker for her), and every time one of them always asks me “your friend is absolutely beautiful! Is she single? Would she let me take her out on a date?” (She is gorgeous). So then I tell her and the first thing she says is “he’s your boyfriend’s age right? I’m not interested, he’s too old for me” (14 years is NOT that big age difference and they’re both consenting adults, not to mention these are good guys who I KNOW would treat her well). She’s so freaking stubborn, I even mentioned one to her in front of her mother. She refused. Her mother said to me (in front of her), keep pushing. She has to figure out for herself that she’d be happier with someone 10 years older! Am I (and her mom) right?

Updates

1 y

I wanted to make this specifically to the men aged 50+. My intent is to show her this so she realizes that she needs to give older, less attractive looking men a chance. I think she should AT LEAST be dating 60 year olds. They look at her, they hit on her, they have money and maturity and it’s obvious they won’t be cheating on her. 40 year old men are like overgrown frat boys who won’t grow up (no offense to any of the 40 something men on GAG but a lot of y’all still act like college aged kids)

Updates

1 y

I tried to set her up with 56 year old today who has a great job, his own house, a brand new car, no children, never was married, looking to find his person and begged me to set her up with him. Again she said “no”because of his age even though he checks all of her boxes otherwise. I told her then to stay on dating apps and continue going on boring mediocre dates with guys her own age who end up hurting her and quit crying about how she can’t find a man. I’m done trying to help her.

[blueonblack22]

Not an “unpopular” opinion because it’s the truth. Sure it isn’t woke but it is just how it is. In fact many “unpopular” opinions nowadays are usually more factual then feel good “modern” bullshit lies.

Anyway this is one of the very few (and shrinking) advantages men have over women. It’s easier for us to date younger women.

Since feminists want to give men absolutely nothing (while conveniently ignoring all the other societal double standards women enjoy) they of course bitch and whine about this. But there is a problem: a middle aged attractive woman’s male counterpart i. e. an attractive middle aged man will get the attention of younger and hotter women in their 20s. She’s going to have a harder time keeping his attention unless they met when they were much younger and got married. Again this is if they are even on everything (looks, status, finances, etc)

Also some middle aged women try to cougar it up to get “even” with middle aged men. But the “cougar” phenomenon that’s really overblown. Reason being from an evolutionary standpoint men are attracted to youth and fertility. Now modern feminists have gone beserk with mental gymnastics trying to argue otherwise. But it’s the truth. I can count the times on one hand on my hand I’ve seen an attractive middle aged woman pull this off with younger men vs attractive middle aged man could with younger women.

Truth be told the “cougar” phenomenon was exaggerated in entertainment to make middle aged women feel better about themselves. But it isn’t reality.

Anyway tangent aside you are right that middle aged women would be better off dating men 10-15 years older. They will appreciate her more. Treat her better.

[OddBeMe]

Why not men their own age? If men their own age want younger that’s not that man for them.

[Asker]

She’s 39 and she insists on men our age. The ones our age pump and dump her and move on to younger women. She has quality men who are also gentlemen pursuing her and even asking me to fix them up with her, and I know these are good men looking for a woman to marry, yet she won’t even give them a chance because they’re ten to twenty years older than her.

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

Tbh at 39 she is starting to age out for older men. At 40+ that's the awkward age for women.

[OddBeMe]

@TheLovelyIntrovert aging out of men wanting younger women.

[OddBeMe]

Learn to meet other men

[Asker]

@TheLovelyIntrovert not really. She’s aging out for men our age but she won’t accept that. She’s perfect for men age 50+ and they’ll appreciate her more and treat her better. I get men in that age bracket begging me to fix her up with them, and these are good men. She throws away every chance at love she’s going to get by rejecting them.

[OddBeMe]

Whatevs but there are men her age who date her. We’re all in a bubble and think we’ve met everyone. That will never be true.

[PeachyPie93]

Men are always nicer to younger women. Doesn't mean you have to date older but I think maybe 5 or 10 years older seems nice. I have always been dating younger than me and sure we get along and have fun but they just are not emotionally mature and we end up being passive agressive to each other most the time lol. I admit it's nice to have a guy just be sweet and understanding but it sounds more like your friend needs to get off the dating apps and things will probably turn around for her lol.

[ManOnFire]

Men ARE always nicer to younger women, and that's part of the problem. Girls know this, and that's why they behave badly, knowing that most men are simps for young women.

[PeachyPie93]

@ManOnFire That's true, but men always chase younger.. so it is what it is lol

[ManOnFire]

I will be posting a Take one of these days about why I don't like them. A follow up to my Take on how I love older women.

[PeachyPie93]

@ManOnFire Oh that should be an interesting read :D

[ManOnFire]

Oh indeed it will be. No holds barred. It is going to be the ugly hard truth😈

[PeachyPie93]

@ManOnFire Oh nooo!🤣 I will be checking it out.

[Crazzyyworld]

Yes same age guys irritate the fuck out of me. Younger guys want support. I hate it. Older men are leading caring and concerning. I love them.

[Crazzyyworld]

Wow she is an idiot not taking him as a boy friend. No children? That’s the BEST!

[Asker]

I agree. She’s a fucking stubborn asshole is more like it. Not only that, but this man is also retired but still works part time, his house is completely paid off, he just bought a brand new car, he’s financially secure, he treats women with the utmost respect and he wants to court and pursue her the old fashioned way. His exact words were “can you please fix me up with your friend? I was talking to her earlier, she’s a very nice girl with good morals and she’s absolutely beautiful. I would love to court her.” Of course she said no and I told her “you’re fucking stupid for passing him up but fine. I’m not helping you anymore. You can go back to your apps and back to dating these stupid assclowns our age who ghost you after three dates but stop fucking complaining that you can’t get a man when you refuse to think outside the box!” Now she’s not talking to me, and I had to break the news to him today that she doesn’t want to go out with him 🤦🏻‍♀️

[HawkPerception]

There is truth in that notion. Men usually look to date younger, especially when they're older. When they're older is usually when most men are more financially successful and have the means to do what they want to in life. So now they're living their best life. They don't want the women their age that haven't rejected most men until they're older or have slept around to the point where they're less desired. They want as young as they can get.

I'm not saying all men are like this, but generally it seems to be the case and if you think using a little psychology, it makes sense.

10 years older in general is a decent age gap. l for women to go for if they want a lasting and successful relationship. That being said, anyone can date whatever age they're comfortable with as long as there's consent and it's mutual attraction.

[Summeroflove]

You do you boo….. Take care of your OWN life and find who makes you happy. Not everyone has to conform to what you want what matters more then age is who someone is on the inside.

Happy you found someone you’re happy with but at the same time what’s right for you isn’t right for everyone. Women aren’t in a hive mind and neither are men.

[OlderAndWiser]

"Attractive single women over 35 need to stop dating men their own age and start dating men at least 10 years older." They NEED to do this? Or you just think this is a good idea?

Perhaps this is a good idea for you and for some other women but I doubt that it would be a good idea for every woman over 35.

I mentor young men in two local fraternity chapters and they are the most mature and respectful men on campus. Really!

[AviatorTom]

I'm an older guy in the age-range you talk about. I'm married to a woman in my age-range. Thank you for pointing out that we older guys are just as good (if not better) as the younger ones. 🏆👍😀

[Asker]

Oh definitely better.

[thatshydork]

There’s nothing wrong with dating someone your own age just like there’s nothing wrong with dating someone older. If your friend doesn’t want to date someone older, don’t force her to. She’s an adult and she can make those sorts of decisions for herself. She doesn’t need to run her dating life by you. I don’t know your friend or you at all, but I know I get real tired real quick of people trying to push me into things I have already told them no to several times. I barely think it’s ok for my sister to have a say in who I date, let alone my friends.

I get that you care about your friend. You don’t want her to be alone and hurt. However, it’s not ok to keep pushing her into dating someone she doesn’t want to date. If she doesn’t want to date older men, that’s fine. Just because you’ve found success in dating older men doesn’t mean that your friend will or that she needs to date older men in order to be happy. Who she dates is her decision, not yours.

[genericname85]

dude above the age of 28, "having ones shit together" has nothing to do with age anymore. like if you don't have it together by then, you may get it together at any point later or maybe never. was the case for me personally as well, so i'm not looking down. i only started having my shit together around 36. i'm talking about "basic" shit. like stable job that i can imagne staying in for the foreseeable future. not like having a house and an expensive car even. in the current economy, shit is really fucked. especially for men who can't get rich in their mid 20s by selling their nudes on onlyfans.

[Apple1996]

Nah I can't speak for that age range but I know for mine younger is better like gen z men tend to be better than millennial men. Most gen z men have it together, didn't go through some weird party stage, most ready for a family. I couldn't imagine settling for some old man that couldn't get his shit together early on. It's a red flag to be older and still single as a man. I just see it as they wasted their time/life on things that weren't important

[BonzoInBitburg]

It might not be as unpopular opinion as you think. I divorced at 50 and almost immediately I was getting DMs from women in their late 20s to mid 30s. It was easier to date in my 50s than when I was an in shape athlete at 18. By 50 I had my finances in order and could afford to travel, I've mellowed out and women are less confusing. Life experience matters and guys who continuously work on themselves get better with age

[DermalPunch]

I'm 40. Men our age are not interested in us. Older man want younger women.

I think a lot of them are the same calculating, immature boys from their 20s and want someone that is c9mplaiant and naive.

Jokes on tjem because these 20 30 year old girls are devious! They are wayyy more up on game than we were.

Personally, I've only ever had serious interest from younger men.

I think women our age should focus on ourselves.

[UnicornLobotomy]

Yes. Purely because of fertility. A man who didn’t really get to be a dad to his kids (because of family court and a crazy baby’s mom) that you get with who is only around 35 might start to see his male peers who never had kids until they got with a 20 something woman when they were around 35-40 might get them to start wondering.

This is a big reason right there, if not the biggest. All the financial comparability stuff aside.

[KpopMusicFan]

I am a 45 year old woman. I date men younger than me. I don’t relate to men my age at all. I never have. My current boyfriend is 28 . I have a lot in common with him.

[Taniisokay]

Age is overrated. Younger than you or older then you, men can still leaves you alone regardless. It's hard to find the one but I am hopeful too. I pray that you find your half soon.

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

My best friend is un her 30s and she refuses to date anyone 10 years older than her. While I'm 35 and my SO is 45. It's a preference and if she's not comfortable with it I would leave her alone about it

[LiamJHayden]

This honestly reads much like an older guy posing as a woman in order to get women 20 years younger than he is interested.

[DrPepper12]

I struggle to make sense of what you were trying to say. I disagree with what I gathered and I think people should date whomever they want or target date whoever they want

[Asker]

I mean yeah she can date whoever she wants, I can’t force her. However the guys our age use her and dump her. The ones that actually want to court her, commit to her and give her what she wants are a good fifteen years older than her. She’s shooting herself in the foot by not giving older men a chance.

[Anonymous]

I'm dating someone 13 years younger, so I guess I'd be the complete opposite of what you're saying. haha

[Twalli]

I actually won't date anyone who isn't with q 0 years of my age. Your inability to find mature men Your own age doesn't mean there aren't any. You just aren't picking them

[Asker]

Not me, my friend. She’s 39, has quality men 10-15 years older who want to not only date her, but also pursue and commit to her yet she insists on only dating men her age, and of course since the good men our age are already taken, she’s basically dating assclowns despite everyone she knows telling her she’s better off dating older.

[Twalli]

Okay, I'll give you that most good men around her age are happily married or in a strong relationship.

[Ladsin2]

Women always date older men so the question is stupid. Sorry, stupid is a bit mean, but what I mean to say is that women always date older so the question is nonsensical.

[Asker]

No, not really. I’m trying to convince my stubborn 39 year old single friend that she needs to date men at least 10 to 20 years older than her. She insists on only dating men her own age who are not mature enough for her and then cries when they eventually dump her for someone younger than her. I’m trying to get opinions to make her realize that her stupid age standards and her approach to dating is not working.

[Nikki1989]

I discovered older men were so much better by the time I was 20.

[slatyb]

Of course you are wrong. They can date whoever they like. 46, 35, or 25.

[nawtee_me]

People should date whomever they want to as life as they are of legal age and both consenting ….

[beefcakebradybatson]

How 'bout THIRTY-SIX years older like this ol' boy?

[Asker]

Yes, the older the better. That’s what we all keep telling her. Whether she listens though is another story.

[beefcakebradybatson]

OK by me.

[Cheerfull009]

Purpose of satisfaction and happiness, if 10 ,15 years older , meets your requirements, then you should date and engage

[Asker]

It’s my friend and no it’s not her preference. She prefers men in our age group (40’s), but guys in their 40’s don’t want her. Guys aged 50-60 do and I think they’re the better option for her.

[DextroShade]

You are correct: the man should always be older.

[JamesRandiDebates]

Yeah that's true after 30, men are only dating women 10 years younger than themselves anyway

[Asker]

THANK YOU!!! I have tried telling her that. If she wants true love at 39 she’s gonna have to look at 55 plus, but given she doesn’t listen to anyone telling her that, I’m guaranteeing that she’s going to be single and complaining about not having a man until she dies.

[Anonymous]

Here you go...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Bmu-vIivYs4

[dragoblack]

Yes. Just date who you vibe with that is of legal age. No need to over manage

[Anonymous]

Anyone can date people their own age.

[scott04sa22]

Not every can date or dateable

[Anonymous]

Surely you mean 10 years younger

[True_Wind]

Stop over-thinking.