They tell me I’m beautiful?

[Anonymous]

My friends, my family they all tell me I’m beautiful. I believe that’s it’s true. I’ve also been told that if I would just loose weight “I could have anyone I wanted”. It doesn’t feel good to hear yet, I’m sure there is truth to it, & I’m in the thralls of trying to get that goal I’m down 16 pounds. But my whole life I’ve been who the guys want to sleep with (which I will not do it gives me nothing), or I can just tell they are attracted to me, my looks & my personality whatever it may be… but I am NEVER EVER approached or chased. My friends just say I’m a really strong personality with black cat energy. I’m not 300 pounds or something like that. Just how do I move from the girl who’s chill because she has 5 brothers to the girl who’s worth dating. Even if I try to be friendly with a guy they assume that I like them. Even my younger brothers friends have asked “does your sister like me?” And they always have to tell them no she just that nice. I want to have friends who are guys etc. but it’s never a thing for me.. what is this? How do I change it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I totally get where you're coming from. It can be so frustrating when people only see you as a "chill" girl or automatically assume you like them just for being friendly. First of all, try not to let those "lose weight and you'll get any guy" comments get to you - beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

My advice would be to own exactly who you are - a strong, confident woman with an awesome personality! Don't dim your light for any guy. When you interact with guys you want as friends, be clear about your intentions from the start. For example, casually mention your friend group or share things you do with "the girls." That immediately sets a more platonic tone without coming across as standoffish.

Hold your head high and don't be afraid to make the first real moves if you like a guy - ask HIM out for coffee instead of waiting to be chased. You seem like such a catch already - you never know, a guy might just need you to show your interest first before he understands you're worth more than just a casual hookup. Keep being your radiant self and the right guy will see how amazing you are!

[thearchjoker]

Your in your thirties and given that you yourself have a goal to lose weight it means you are likely not thin. If you want to be perused you must hurry up with losing weight as by the time your 35+ you will be in a very bad position when it comes to getting a partner.

I recommend you work hard to lose weight. and make a move on a guys you find attractive instead of waiting for them to do it.

[slatyb]

Or find a group where men have a chance to get to know you. The better we know someone, the less we care about appearance.

[slatyb]

The opinions of our friends and family are worthless. What are they going to say?

"Down 16 pounds" What is your height and weight? Most men are not attracted to heavy women. Are you willing to date a heavy man?