Do you view your friends with benefits/fuck buddy as beneath you?

[Anonymous]

[ohsheeT]

I was going out with a girl she was living with me and it took me 7 months to get her out of my house she had no place to go I told her I'd send her back to her mother's house in Colorado it took 7 months long months LOL I got to the point where I just liked her so much but I stayed calm I understand blah blah blah but finally I put her on the airplane and she was gone.

I didn't want anything to do with women again LOL

A couple months had passed and two her friends. And one of my friends not all at the same time all different periods had come over to see me or we had ran into each other started talking and somehow I started talking about dating and all three of them asked if I wanted to go out with them and I said no.. hell no. lol

And me being my smart ass self I said not unless you wanted to become friends with benefits

And all three of them said yes
And I thank them very much for that because
In those moments I got to be myself to be a smart-ass person to have tons of passion be romantic and make it all about them and it was a true friendship a true Bond there's no way in this world that I would ever think of them as underneath me ever they were higher than me because they brought me back to life and made me see women in a different way again it is actually a very beautiful thing

And then probably after about 3 months of this I've heard that my ex was coming back so I moved LOL

And I never answered my phone if one of those three girls called up because I didn't know if my ex was standing in front of them as they were trying to call me but no one of the most beautiful moments in my life was having them in my life one of these days I'll thank them if I ever see them again

[Finchie40]

Not at all , You should only be FWB’s with a guy that is on the same page as you are , meaning you both discussed about being FWB’s with each other and hopefully you both discussed boundaries as well. I will only be FWB’s with a girl that is on the same page as me , basically with some strings attached , Her and I only have sex with each other and no one else , We are both allowed to date other people, if we choose to , but if we have sex with any of them , we promise to end the benefits part between us and just remain friends , only be FWB’s with someone you can trust and you already consider a friend that is honest with you and you are honest with them , if you can’t do that for each other , it won’t work. The purpose of it is to give you both time to really
Get to know each other with hopes that you 2 might eventually end up committed together , instead of just jumping into a relationship with someone you barely know much about.

[mandyfire98]

Nope, I always viewed them as equals

[Asker]

Okay. Then, why aren’t you in a relationship with them?

[mandyfire98]

Because I can be equal to someone and still not date them.

[Asker]

But why don’t you want to date them?

[MicahRaine]

Because she's already dating lol

[mandyfire98]

Because sex is sex. Being in a relationship is much more than just sex.

Maybe you're sexually attracted to someone but know you probably wouldn't do well in a full on relationship with them.

Doesn't mean they're beneath you in any way.

[Asker]

What is some reasons why you wouldn’t do well in a full on relationship with a person?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

because as mandy said, when there is just sexual attraction to look at, then there's no point trying a relationship on these grounds, it just cannot work

[mandyfire98]

Differences in values, beliefs, compatible sexually but not compatible in a relationship.

It's like when 2 people are friends and actually try to be in a relationship with each other and for whatever reason just are way better as friends. That happens sometimes.

[Nikki1989]

Of course not. Friends are friends.

[Summeroflove]

Well I do yes, it’s disgusting honestly and if someone’s looking to ever have a genuine connection then they shouldn’t be doing that. Unfortunately some people don’t even know what that is anymore because they shared themselves with too many people.

[OlderAndWiser]

I never had anyone who I thought of in those terms.

[RichA322]

Nope never. No human deserves to be treated like this. Remember

• fuck Buddies
• And friends with Benefits

Are NOT the same.

Fuck buddies is just sex, nothing else.

Sex->orgasm-> bye bye

Spending the night is already too much under normal circumstances. You can be fuck Buddies even with your neighbor, the cashier at Walmart or your biggest enemy. So you can probably guess that potential talking point with one another outside of sex are very low in that situation. And this can appear quite distant if you are not used to it.

Friends with benefits, means you can at least stay the night and you know each other at least a bit and you can talk a bit. Or it's literally a friend of yours that you are having sex with. So I would never treat them bad in any way.

And then there is Best friends with Benefits.

Like the name suggests. You have sex with your best friend. You have sex with the guy/girl that you don't want to marry and start a family with but who is your best friend. So your best friend would never treat you badly, otherwise it would be not your best friend.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Reading comments, your real question is not really about who is beneath what, it's about understanding why you seem to receive only friends with benefits offers. That's a completely different question !

[Asker]

Fine. Why do I only seem to receive friends with benefits offers?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'm not a magician lol, please provide context

[Asker]

- No tattoos
- Body count of one
- I dress very modestly
- I don’t party or go out a lot
- I have a good job and I’m educated
- I have no children

Guys I’ve dated/talked to in the past three years:

- Find out he was married within three weeks of talking
- Had just gotten out of a relationship and most of his relationships seem to last less than a year and seem to be long distance (they live hours apart by plane)
- Guy said he was serious about me, but most of his relationships seemed to last less than a year. Also, he had an abrasive personality and I just couldn’t see myself with him
- Had just gotten divorced and was completing the first year of his residency and didn’t want anything serious
- Described himself as picky and could never find the right relationship. He said that he didn’t want to date because he was in a leadership position at our part term job (but seemed to be willing to hook up)
- Chased me for six months and I kept rejecting him. I finally gave him a chance and he said that he only saw me as a potential fuck buddy. When I asked why, he said that it was because I wasn’t confident enough (my male acquaintances said that this was bullshit). Also, after he displayed sketchy behavior, I did some digging and found out he had a girlfriend. To this day, the stalks and harasses me about being friends despite the fact that I have blocked him and asked him multiple times to leave me alone

[BetaBucks]

For sure, but I still married her.

In case my wife ever hacks my phone: just kidding baby, I love you, you aren't my fuck buddy, and you aren't beneath me. And your mom's a whore.

[spartan55]

Lol...💀

[Fireguy17]

beneath, on top, alongside, behind whatever the position is at that moment.
But to really answer your question, no, they are an equal, or on a pedestal.

[spartan55]

Beneath me? Why would I think that?
I certainly don't respect her though.

[Asker]

Why don’t you respect her?

[spartan55]

Because if I did I would want to be in a committed relationship with her.

[spartan55]

Guys only want sex from you because that is all you are offering. Stop picking turds, that never helps.

[Asker]

How is that all I’m offering if I’m not even sleeping with these guys?

[spartan55]

Actually sleeping with is irrelevant. It's what they see in you. Or you just pick shitheads (which is more likely)

[Asker]

What could be preventing them from seeing more?

[spartan55]

Hard to say without knowing you.

[Red_Arrow]

Don't have one. If I did it would be someone a care enough to enjoy sex with them and I would not look down on them.

[genericname85]

no. not beneath me. just beneath my standards for an actual relationship.

[Asker]

How so? Do you have examples?

[genericname85]

i mean why the fuck would i keep her as a fuck buddy if i thought she's a great choice for a long term partner or even wife?

[genericname85]

or did you mean examples for why she doesn't meet my standard for that?

[Asker]

What I mean is, why don’t you view her as a great choice for a long-term partner?

[genericname85]

could be many things. for example if i know she's kind of fucking around and not looking for something serious. or if she's unemployed, a single mom, has big psychological problems. not that i'd look down on any of that. we're all only human and it happens. but still that's not what i want as a long term partner. i want them to be stable and without too much baggage for me to carry, if you know what i mean. everyone has baggage. it's normal. but too much is bad.

[Asker]

I guess I’m trying to figure out why I’m never regarded as long-term partner material. But thanks for your input.

[genericname85]

well did you ever agree to friends with benefits or fuck buddies?

[Asker]

No. I would never knowingly accept a situation like this.

[genericname85]

ok. so then i would say that finding the right match that fits your standard is actually very unlikely. that goes for men and for women. so i would say that this is very normal. it would actually be weird if more people just wanted to jump into a relationship with you. that would be strange to me.

[Asker]

But men seem to only want to be friends with benefits with me only for them to find a girlfriend later on. Men never want to date me.

[genericname85]

yeah cause men really want the sex cause that's hard for them to get. women don't typically have that problem. like a woman can always "at least" have sex if she doesn't find the man of her dreams. men don't even have that option if they don't find anyone. that's why they're more likely of trying to get it. and i guess for women the threshold to get into a fuck buddy situation is less undesirable than just having ons.

[LiamJHayden]

No, but I no longer do it because I then viewed my partners as objects to use rather than the unique and valuable women they were.

[Hanrej]

Back at the time I used to have friends with benefits or fuckbuddies... No.

[Anonymous]

Obviously. They're fb's.

[Asker]

Are you ashamed of them in some way?

[Opinion Owner]

No. They just not worth a relationship. There are women you build with and women you play around with. Because either they haven't got the temperament, or too many character flaws to to ever have a relationship with. Fortunately the majority of those women accept this about themselves and many of them choose the fb lifestyle.

[Asker]

What are some examples or character flaws or types of temperament that would prevent you from pursuing a relationship with someone?

[Opinion Owner]

Traumatized to the point she cannot have a healthy bond. Oversexed to the point she cannot have a normal healthy sex life. Unfaithfulness (there's a reason she's just viewed as a fb). It's basically assumed she's got other fb's. She may want a relationship but ALL her attempts end in failure. Generally because it always has to be on her terms. See you have to understand the guys isn't putting her in this category SHE IS! Either consciously or unconsciously.
I mean I could give you a hundred examples but it'd be kind of pointless because most if not all are exhibited by the same type of woman. So it's not really hard to tell.

[nawtee_me]

Unless she is on top…. lol

[Pterodon]

I don’t view anyone beneath me

[vj0090]

Heyyy connect in private?

[MasterKS]

They are for fun!