Why don’t Friends with Benefits treat you like a friend?

[Anonymous]

My ex-FWB (I don’t even know if I should even consider her a friend) only contacted me when it was convenient for her (which was for favors and sex). One day, she tells me that we should just be friends and the very next day, she posted a photo of her and her boyfriend on IG.

[Zionne]

That’s pretty common with friends with benefits setups—they’re usually based on convenience and physical connection, not emotional reciprocity. Once the arrangement ends or changes, there’s often little incentive for them to maintain the “friend” side. It can feel hurtful, but it’s more about the nature of friends with benefits relationships than about you personally.

[PeachyPie93]

Since most the time the situation isn't really friends or romantic it is just sex.. That's why you have to actually have a friendship and be able to talk to each other about serious things or it won't ever actually be friends. With actual friends someone is bound to catch feelings that's why those things are usually kept separate.

[Zack-Bann]

A true friend you have sex with is called a relationship


friends with benefits is a misnomer.
I would say fuck buddy is a better description for what that relationship turns into


And trust me it’s not something you did it’s how all of these arrangements go


I should know first hand

[Alex-Snow]

I'm in a casual friends with benefits relationship while in college. If you are having sex with her you have to be at least friends>

[Master_Debator]

I've ran into the same exact things plenty of times... basically favors and sex/dropped like a bad habit for a new boyfriend... or in my case, they pop back up on my phone expecting me to still provide favors and sex when it doesn't work out with the new boyfriend. I think the closest I've gotten to an actual "friends" with benefits, is when I was suddenly being used as an activity partner as well... until I realized we only do activities she wants to do for example... eating... shopping... listening to her stupid, and usually self-made problems.

They view us in a very utilitarian way and they just want to use us... We're like one step-up from those guys she calls a friend most of the time, only because we're actually fucking her. The only real difference I see between a friends with benefits and a male friend is probably just the sex in my opinion. She'll use that oribitor guy that's probably in love with her in all the same ways, except she doesn't give him sex.

The only real difference between us and the boyfriend/husband is commitments from how I see it.

[MzAsh]

People confuse friends with benefits with booty call. They’re not the same. Sounds like you were a booty call but she was labeling it friends with benefits.

[jazzy34]

I thought that was the whole idea: contacting each other when you wanted sex. Yeah, “friend” is in the title, but it’s not a traditional friendship. You’re just not a couple.

[Anonymous]

You need distance not to fall in love?

It is just sex and nothing serious?

It hurts to be just there for fun

[jahaims]

Because it's an unhealthy situation where two people are trying to fulfill their needs in unhealthy ways..

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a very specific situation with that person. Maybe you should ask her.

[Mariogirl09]

Sucks being used. Doesn't it

[beefcakebradybatson]

Because of the benefits?