Is a woman’s confidence in approaching a man a turn off, or a turn on for you? Why or why not?

[KathrynTaylor]

[ManOnFire]

It's always hot, although not necessarily required. I'm not one of those guys who desperately needs a woman to approach him. When it happens it's great, but I'm not just sitting back waiting for it.

Any time a woman has confidence/courage, about anything, it's always attractive. And it shows a kind of strength in character. And that's probably why women will hate or be jealous of other women who approach or talk to men confidently. They look down on that and think she is being desperate or "giving in" to men, but deep down other women envy it because they can see that a confident woman can pull a man and they can't.

[DannyUk2017]

Well... Yes and No!
As sometimes is "scary", we don't know if the woman's intention/s are geniune or she is just "playing", with so much Stereotyping these days we became to be seen as "pervs, predators, simps, animals", so we can do mistakes... such as the interaction is geniune, and we might think is just a "prank" to "see" what the man's response is...

[Radiate143]

Men do like it BUT it is unwise if you want more than a hookup or and friends with benefits. If it leads to marrige, you will be wearing thebpants and will tore easily of him following your lead and expecting you to make all the decisions.

What the key is to make it very clear you are open to his approach. Do not pursue a man EVER!!!

[Pohjolan]

@radiate143
That doesn't make any sense. How a couple is going to meet in the first 5 seconds defines the rest of the relationship as much as the weather on that day.
And basic socialising isn't pursuing anyone. We are no longer living with Corona restrictions.

[Radiate143]

@Pohjolan it is 100 facts.

[Pohjolan]

@radiate143
Based on what? Because you say so?

[Avicenna]

Depends really on how she approaches and whether we have a good interaction. I’ve been approached by a number of women who clearly weren’t used to doing it, but that was fine.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In my cultural background, it's a pleasant surprise. Because of rarity though, it is intimidating and I will need a moment to adjust for balance lol

[KathrynTaylor]

Interesting. What’s your cultural background?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

A very difficult question actually, naming it precisely is impossible to me, I can just give some approximations. In my background, it feels socially acceptable for a woman to approach, even if it is a rare occurrence, it feels accepted to me.

I think I have been approached several times already from adolescence to now, with or without it to leads to actual dating. And anyway, it has never been a full on approach, it's more like... dynamics, some girls made a first move but then they were not leading the scenario. It's more like shared power I could say. I don't think I ever really did full lead approach either, it feels like ping-pong to me no matter who is the one using first initiative

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

trying to explain more of the cultural background I'm coming from, my standpoint is from a city of 300k people, with relative diversity of people, there is a big enough campus, so there's an influx of students which effects the overall ambiance of the city.

In my perception and in policies, this is a progressive atmosphere I'm looking at, I'm hardly confronted with conservative views or traditional values, it exists but it's really a minority in this city, and this minority doesn't mingle with other groups, they live in relative cultural autarky, usually in the highest spheres since there is a correlation between high social status and conservative views here.

[SvenTree]

I'd very much rather be approached by women. Knowing when it's appropriate to ask a woman out can be a minefield.

I don't want to bother her or be abusive to her.

According to some women:

If he's older than her, he's a predator.

If she is at work in the service industry and he asks her out, he's taking advantage of power dianamics.

If he just met her, he's objectifying her.

If they were already platonic friends, he's a predator.

If he has more money or a better job, he's taking advantage of power dianamics.

According to some mainstream media, even looking in her direction or asking her out politely is sexual harassment.

All of the women I've dated in the last couple of years have asked me out. I think women should take initiative more often.

[Anonymous]

Turn on if she's attractive and turn off if she's not

[KathrynTaylor]

Well said. I feel the same way about men.

[Opinion Owner]

Its how it is but you can only know if you're attractive for them by approaching at least if its a cold approach.

[KathrynTaylor]

Agreed 😊

[Opinion Owner]

What I am interested in tho, would you see it as a nuisance if beeing approached by someone unattractive?

I am asking bec I feel flattered as its still a rare occurance even if I dont like the girl.

[KathrynTaylor]

Yes, because it gets annoying when my guy friends hit on me. I know they’re not genuinely interested. They’re just experiencing a dry spell and feeling desperate.

[KathrynTaylor]

Also, if it’s not a friend, it makes me worry that I’m losing my touch, when guys I find unattractive hit on me. Also, I feel guilty and uncomfortable turning people down, even though I am kind.

[KathrynTaylor]

It’s a rare occurrence for me in person, too. Guys look but rarely approach 😊

[Opinion Owner]

Okay guy friends hitting on you is really weird at least if its from the "inner circle" aka close friends you know for long.

I get that its kinda a bit frustrating if you're beeing approached by someone you dont find attractive even tho its ofc not their fault.

Well approaching for me is really weird. If I approach with the Intention of getting to know them bec I am interested it never worked out for me but if I talk to someone without intentions other than having a friendly convo or thinking she's to hot for me anyway that I dont have a chance it often ends in a flirt or a friend pulling my clueless ass to the side and telling me that she was clearly interested but I just went away after the convo ended. Its like girls smell it if you want something from them and come if you dont which is kinda frustrating at times. Its honestly a wonder I ever had relationships.

[KathrynTaylor]

The dating world can be complex. I’ve had a guy give me all the signs of liking me, then when I hit on him, he rejected me and told all our friends I was weird and that we don’t see eye to eye. I found that strange.

[KathrynTaylor]

I guess we’re being ourselves and not trying too hard around our friends, too, so they see our confidence as sexy and get time to get to know us.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know could be him just beeing friendly, I am sometimes a bit lost too reading stuff as romantic or friendly interest. However shaming you is just really rude and small dick energy.

Ye not caring is the best you can do but on the otherhand if you dont care how do you form a connection? Its so confusing at times

[KathrynTaylor]

Agreed. I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter anymore. 😊.

[KathrynTaylor]

It was just confusing.

[KathrynTaylor]

Besides that experience, dating is still complex for me.

[Opinion Owner]

If it were easy we probably wouldn't have this talk rn.

Tho I think after the initial hard part of the first date its way smoother as the ice is broken if there's still interest from both sides

[KathrynTaylor]

Agreed on both accounts 😊

[KathrynTaylor]

Except in cases where you reach date 4 and the guy never makes a move.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha I just adapted to rather make a move and risk beeing rejected than making none at all bec then its bound to fizzle out.

But I must confess it took me some time until I had it down how to slowly test the waters and that its sometimes better to just go for it and get a rejection (which doesn't have to be final) than to do nothing at all. Women often wait for the guy to make a move afterall.

[KathrynTaylor]

You’re so right about making a move. Women are taught to wait, or be seen as easy or desperate, by the men they’re pursuing.

[Opinion Owner]

I sometimes wonder tho how much is it taught and how much is nature?

My ex just pulled me in by surprise for our first kiss and I didn't think that was desperate but sexy as hell.

[mstbooblover]

Oh no ! A woman approaching me in confidence is rather a turn on ! Why? Just the way I feel. It's not every day a woman clearly shows interest and desire. Please ladies, just indulge if it's me you fancy ;0)

[LaBruh16]

There very act of showing interest and taking the initiative is regarded by men as hot. I am very pleased when girls do approach me. This whole idea of the girl being the prize has become too overstated in modern society and I would much rather have a world where both girls and boys can respectively ask each other out. If a girl does this, I think it shows she is not a stuck up brat waiting to be asked out. It increases your attractiveness by 50%!!

[paledreams]

The approach is fine, the confidence aspect - humble and cute is sweet, a pushy or showy woman ain't lol 👠👠

[Berethor]

Theoretically it fine when woman is approaching but women who do that tend to be hos.

[RedInnocent69]

No, it’s a turn on. We take it as a compliment. As much as girls are attention whores and compliment each other, y’all don’t compliment us very much

[ProbablyClueless]

Total turn on. Who wouldn't want to be with someone who is sure of themselves?

[Gerard567890]

It's a total turn on, I'd welcome it. I like women who show they know what they want. It doesn't happen enough, imho.

[red324]

I don't know, my guard is always up whenever a girl approaches me. It's like what does she want?

[Danny_dan92]

I find it attractive.




Tells me she knows what she wants

[Pohjolan]

Neither. Its not like approaching someone post-Covid is making a move or flirting.

That's like being confident buying bread.

[Wise4myage]

Definitely a turn on.

[KathrynTaylor]

Oh? Why so?

[Wise4myage]

It’s sexy

[Jennz6]

It’s always different

[KathrynTaylor]

Good or bad different?

[Jennz6]

Good maybe

[disappoint3d]

More women should approach men it would be good for everyone

[Chthou95]

Confidence doesn't matter that much to men as it does to women

[Rockey_the_bicker]

Definitely a turn on for me

[KathrynTaylor]

Oh? Why is that?

[Rockey_the_bicker]

Because there is no shyness wall between two lovers lol

[Rockey_the_bicker]

I hope you got what I mean 😊

[KathrynTaylor]

Fair enough

[KathrynTaylor]

You mean that it makes you feel more comfortable with approaching the woman?

[Rockey_the_bicker]

Yes obviously

[KathrynTaylor]

Because otherwise you’re too scared to do it?

[Rockey_the_bicker]

Nah i don't scare,, but showing interest from a lady is better than nonsense flirting

[KathrynTaylor]

Because if she’s direct, you know where you stand

[KathrynTaylor]

Curious, as to why you said you hope I got what you meant.

[Rockey_the_bicker]

It's simple... I mean if women will show intrest,, there will be no shyness..

[KathrynTaylor]

I don’t agree necessarily in all cases.

[Rockey_the_bicker]

It's on you,, I just shared my thoughts

[KathrynTaylor]

Some guys are shy, regardless of what you do. They’re betas.

[KathrynTaylor]

In my view, that’s on them

[Rockey_the_bicker]

Yes i agree 👍

[Rockey_the_bicker]

Well nice to meet you here ☺️

[KathrynTaylor]

Nice to meet you here too 🥰

[Rockey_the_bicker]

Ty..

[KathrynTaylor]

You’re welcome 🥰

[Rockey_the_bicker]

You seems nice person.. can we be friends?

[KathrynTaylor]

Sure, why not?

[Rockey_the_bicker]

So accept my request

[dsrice071966]

It is fine with me otherwise I would not meet anyone, I am so shy.

[Jmmmfi4]

HUGE TURN ON

NOT THAT IT EVER HAPPENS

[TadCurious]

Definitely a very interesting turn on.

[NathanDavis]

love it...

[Slim57]

No love it, never been approached

[In_Trance]

Neither

[LiamJHayden]

I like it.

[msc545]

a turn on