Taxi situation on date?

[Anonymous]

I was on date with one dude. I said from the beginning that I would like to kiss, BUT only kiss. We meet and he offered to go to eat and we had some burgers and went to walk. And then I asked if he wants to kiss, he refused several times. Then I said to order taxi, he said he will walk me till home and I should not worry. But in taxi he chose two locations, first his home and only then mine. I felt strange about it. Did he wanted to lead me to his house? And his house was quiet far (but not much). I decided to go out from taxi half way and went home by bus. Then he didn’t text me. Did I understood something wrong? I kinda liked date but was mad about taxi situation. And if liked me he would text me I guess.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Ironically, I'm all about talking but hearing a girl saying in plain she agrees or disagrees to kiss is very odd to me. Even more odd, you asked formally about it later? It's really strange, I mean I have never seen that level of formality happening at any age range. Situations I experienced are really really less verbal than that, way more spontaneous. Where are you from? To understand in what culture you are.

The issue with who gets home first is a non-issue to me, unless you have more elements in the context, it looks random choice to me. Also interpreting that he would lead you to his flat is incorrect because he refused to kiss, so it indicates that he doesn't want to move fast or isn't interested.

Now if you moved out from the cab while not explaining him why you decided that out of the blue then... Your behaviour must have been perceived as incomprehensible for him. Or comprehensible, since I could interpret that the girl didn't like dating with me at all. Which is not your intent so... Based on your description of the events, I think there are untold misunderstandings with this guy and you should try to fix that, especially if you like him.

[Asker]

I said about kissing BEFORE meeting. If he wasn’t okay with it why did he agree? When we met I took him to my special place to kiss but it was outside. I don't know probably he expected that I will invite him to my home and didn’t expect that I really ment only kissing outside. Probably he felt uncomfortable kissing outside. Then he invited me to eat. And we walked for a while after. Then he promised me that he will take me to my house first, but it taxi he randomly chose his location first? I think probably he wasn’t disagree with kissing but wanted to do it at home cause he feels uncomfortable doing it outside. But he could say it to me before ordering taxi, and I didn’t know that he will choose his house first. Even if he didn’t want to kiss and invite to his house he chose his location first without saying to me.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Well then, when interpretations are many, I'm back to the last line wrote:
"Based on your description of the events, I think there are untold misunderstandings with this guy and you should try to fix that, especially if you like him."

That's the only way to find out :)

[Asker]

What should I text then?🤣

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What should you text haha, well I would say you're supposed to know how to talk to people, you're talking with people here so... That's not much different.

Give him your point of view, share, listen and so on until it is resolved

[Asker]

I explained everything and said that I actually liked date and he answered “okay”😭💀

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

... well, at least you have one important info lol. Try to get the rest, try to understand which angle to use to get infos, maybe it's not a talkative guy, that may be a difficult quest !

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you were clear about your boundaries from the beginning, but the situation with the taxi likely raised red flags because it was inconsistent with the level of comfort and understanding you expected. By choosing his home as the first stop in the taxi, it’s possible he might have intended for you to go there, even if it wasn’t explicitly stated. You did the right thing by trusting your instincts and exiting when you felt uncomfortable.

His lack of communication afterward could mean several things: he may have felt awkward about the situation or realized that his actions made you uncomfortable. It’s also possible that he wasn’t aligned with your boundaries as much as you hoped. While it’s difficult to know his exact thoughts, your feelings of discomfort are valid, and his failure to follow up might indicate a lack of mutual interest or understanding.

If you liked the date overall but are upset about the taxi situation, you could choose to reach out for clarification, but it's important to trust your feelings about whether the date was respectful of your boundaries.

[itsannalee]

He just wanted you to pay the taxi, so if you guys drop him first to his house then taxi bring you to your house after that, you are the one who pay for it.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'll have to disagree, for a technical reason, guy is perfectly able to pay his share on destination

[In_Trance]

Gnarly