Why would a guy left me on read after 1st date but not unmatch me?

[Anonymous]

Had a great 1st date with a man. We had wine, conversation and chemistry. The next night he texted me asking g how my day was, I responded and asked him a question, he read my text... it's been over 24 hrs no response, okay he's just not that interested, but why keep matched on the dating app?

[ProbablyClueless]

Well... how did you respond to his question? Because I've had women who were very interested in me respond to questions like that with the most dry, boring responses that don't give me anything to follow up with.

[Asker]

He asked how my day was, I said a mis of relaxation and chores, I asked how he's move was going.. I winked with i had fun last night. We fooled around but did not hook up.

[ProbablyClueless]

He was in the middle of a move and you think the fact he left you on read for 24 hours means that he isn't interested?

The man was picking up a bunch of heavy shit and getting his new house set up. Cut him some slack.

[Asker]

You clearly have never been left on read by a girl you like 🤣 wait till it happens to you.

[ProbablyClueless]

lmao trust me, I've been there. I'm just giving you a hard time.

You have my sympathies

[Asker]

Okay so your not totally clueless good. When a guy truly wants a woman he won't do anything to have her question his intentions, it's thay simple..

[ProbablyClueless]

Well, no, but you also have to be realistic about where y'all are at in your connection.

You had ONE date. You haven't had the chance to build a deep romantic bond with this guy. So what you're saying is true, that he would make his intentions known, but he barely knows anything about you.

[ProbablyClueless]

Just to be realistic, why would he prioritize you this early on, you know? It doesn't make sense until he knows you better.

[Asker]

Okay, I'll just match his energy and most likely never hear from him again. Yes, 1 date barley knows me. The bar is so low nowadays, it's beyond ridiculous 🤣

[Asker]

It's not about prioritizing.. He texted for 1 or both reasons... 1. He wanted a little EGO boost, I responded back and he never returned my text. 2. He is texting another woman whom he likes, who probably doesn't like home that much.

He clearly read my text right away it had 2 check marks. Why bother starting a conversation on a Sunday night and no word from him all today... he's clearly not interested, it literally tales 30 seconds to respond back.

[ProbablyClueless]

That kind of thing is why I'm not on dating apps and shit. You should match energy and be realistic about what's what. In terms of your own expectations, it's probably not great to expect men to do things that would effectively force a connection to develop upfront like that.

[Asker]

Let me ask you this, the girls that left you on read did they end up ghosting for good or were the busy or had a reason?

[Asker]

Force a connection? What, no I did not do that. I expect to have a man know how to have consistent communication it's not that difficult and that is not forcing anything.. if I were forcing it I would of double texted, I did match his energy.

[ProbablyClueless]

Most of the time, they were busy and/or had some reason. They usually would usually apologize and continue on. I'm a super relaxed texter, which is probably part of why that happens. Some did end up ghosting though. Usually with the ghosters there was other signs that fuckery was about to happen.

[ProbablyClueless]

You ARE expecting him to force a connection, though. That's exactly what's happening. You are expecting him to invest the time and effort of what would be required in a romantic relationship, before a relationship has developed, under the presumption that a romantic relationship with you will actually develop.

And what I'm trying to say is that even though you and he had a nice night together; you're assuming that he isn't interested just because he isn't automatically behaving like someone would in a relationship, but... well... you don't have a relationship with him. The connection just isn't there yet. Even if he's genuinely extremely interested in you.

[Asker]

Okay thanks I see your side a little better..

[ProbablyClueless]

Happy to help! Please let me know how everything works out. Best of luck!

[Asker]

Day 2-no word. Im moving on. It's strange he hasn't un matched me on the app. Ill just wait till he does it 😅🤣

[Intheclouds00]

He has a girlfriend most likely, or he matched with some slutty chick that fucked him out the gate. Most likely the girlfriend or wife

[jazzy34]

Working, busy, etc, erc. Not everyone is glued to their phone all day.