I got a message on a dating app from a lovely American man who had just moved to the London. He was honestly beautiful
I was surprised he liked me but we stayed up texting every night until the early hours, he showed a lot of interest in my life, asking me loads of questions for about 2 months over text. we were having wonderful conversations and banter.
When we met,. It was wonderful, amazing conversations and instant connection. He texted me afterwards to tell me how much he fancied me.
We started dating, and we got closer and closer. He was soppy and affectionate, always telling me I was beautiful.
As he was new here, I planned all the things we did. I planned escape rooms, cinema trip, walks, camping, boating on my local lake. It was fun and I didn’t mind doing it but it was in my mind I hinted I wanted to be taken on date
I still planned things, but he never stepped up even when I asked. He promised me he would take me out when he had more money but that never happened. I noticed he was critical of little things, sulked all night over small things. He never went out his way to do anything for me, no nice gestures and it was confusing. He gave me horrible death stares if I did the slightest thing he didn’t like.
I would bring things up to boyfriend he would sigh or snap or call me manipulative sometimes, or compare me to his ‘manipulative ex’. He really got worse when I was talking about my future life goals and told him I want children one day. He snapped and said he wants to travel the world and will only decide when he’s back and will probably be too old
He started to act all cold and moody with me and eventually told me he didn’t love me.
Which I felt was weird because we were only 9 months since we started talking and love takes time.
I feel quite unlovable. I don’t understand how something so wonderful whom I clicked with could leave me like that. I’m scared now that I will get to 30 and have never been loved.
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"30 and have never been loved" no I do and you are doing amazing <3
He's clearly not as interested as you perceive him to be
But he was the one that was constantly messaging me, soppy messages and telling me how much he fancied me. He showed me off to his friends. He kept telling me he was nervous I wouldn’t like him and couldn’t tell if I liked him or not. He just never planned dates but asked to see me every weekend.
I’m worried if he wasn’t interested, what is wrong with me
Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all
He was broke and homesick. He cried when we broke up and said ‘it’s not you, you’re lovely. I just haven’t loved in many years and need therapy!’ So I don’t know if it’s anything to do with me. I take it personally as if I like someone, I wouldn’t want to lose them and if I don’t like someone, it’s because they aren’t nice people
To be honest I wouldn't worry about it. your time is better spent finding someone else
But every time I see a pic of him, I melt. He is beautiful, his eyes are wonderful and his smile. He’s the only man I’ve ever felt that for and don’t think I’ll ever feel it again. I don’t understand why my Body wants him so bad but has never felt that toward anyone else
that's a fallacy
you felt it once; great possibility you'll feel it again
I have this fear I’m locked onto being attracted to him forever.
I wish he liked me somewhat. I hope the great times we had together weren’t fake
Start banging other guys and the feeling will fade so fast, you won't remember him
But I feel I am asexual. Even with him, it took some time before I was into him sexually. Only when I felt safe and secure and built a connection
You just said how "your body wants him"
You're contradicting yourself
My body craves him and only him. He was a big man with chest hair, super manly, and I can’t find anyone else like it