Why Do Some Men Think They're Better At Knowing What A Woman Really Wants? Should We Test That Theory (please read details before reply)?

Question

I've seen it time and again on here, guys that say never get dating/relationship advice from a woman. But then they're giving poor advice like "women don't want the truth" or "women don't want a man who shows emotion"... 
 So let's see who gives better advice.. Guys and Gals, reply with what you want in a partner/relationship and dating tips about what would work for someone to get you interested in them. But also, like 👍 the advice of others if you agree and dislike 👎 if you disagree. Let's see who knows what women want more "men" or "women" #gameon play nice 🙂

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

It's a good idea, BBB.
I spent a while reading through everyone's comments.
It's true, it's men who say this, not women. Why? Here's some theories on that.

It's men who do the vast majority of approaching, so they, as the advancers, also deal with the most rejections. They are testing out their techniques and are therefore doing bulk of the data collection. So to be fair, there is some validity to their more statistical approach to all this. As with many of their conclusions, they tend to file them away as success/failure.
However, men tend to more often attribute their successes to themselves, and their failures to unforeseen circumstances. (There was a university study about this. Very interesting.) Females tend to not credit themselves as much. What's one takeaway here? Arrogance, conceitedness. They think they know more than they do. This is another big difference for why females don't state their opinions with such conviction. (Also, men are the risk-takers, so they have to proceed with more confidence, or they would stagnate in that more active role they must take in life. Manufacturing confidence, gumption, whatever, is necessary. If it's false sometimes, I'm not surprised; it seems to be a byproduct out of necessity.)
I've never had a man I was involved with, friends with, or respected, say this to me. Ever. My conclusion? It's the dumb ones who think this ("don't take dating advice from women.) And I don't associate with guys like that. They exist in the world, but not in my world. And as some other pinks here have said, what's the point in associating with, arguing with, these types? Waste of our time. (Although some men think that women check out too easily, and should engage, to keep the dialogue between genders going, and I do agree with that too. Finding that line between open communication and hostile arguments just for the sake of it... that's the crux.)
So I don't feel compelled to give my 'best dating advice' as proof, because I'd be doing it as a defensive move, and I believe in negotiation, as in law, it is the accuser's job to make the case.
But I do like your question, it's kind of fun. It doesn't seem to be playing out how you intended, I suspect, but the concept is sound. Instead it's mostly become a debate on whether men can listen to women's advice and why don't women know what they want (I call bullshit on that. It's really a matter of expectations being unrealistic, not fitting the marketplace, than indecision. Indecision is an erroneous conclusion, I believe.)
But here's the main reason I won't bother writing something in that vein - because it would be too general, and I like details, I think life is full of greys, and generalities sound more like platitudes and that's just not something that appeals to me. I'm one of these people who will take the time to really listen to someone's issue, life, often whatever they want to talk about, and sometimes the more complex the problem, the more interested I may become. Even a paragraph of detail steers the conversation somewhere more specific, which I much prefer.
I also saw someone here mention that advice from men, to men, is more specific, concise, and 'this worked for me' stuff. And that is very much the way men like to take in information. Women's advice is softer, longer, includes more details, nuance, and 1. It's too long, often, and 2. Maybe that comes off as too abstract for guys to take in.

Quaintrelle · Accepted Answer

One of the major turnoff when it comes to men is that most of them just want sex from the other person and nothing else.

People of both gender are capable of sharing & creating memories in so many ways but it is like many just want to stick to 1 way and leave others as non existent.

I understand that not everyone does it and they may have their reasons for indulging in what feels good or fulfilling to them but to me it is one of the biggest turnoffs.

I want a man who will appreciate what I am as a person and let me explore him without any filter. Like we can be ourselves with each other without having to pretend and that the conversation flows flawlessly. Like we don't need to put in heavy thinking or effort in communicating with each other. It feels as natural as breathing.

Another important aspect is growing together. I know I am not perfect and I know he won't be too. We can work towards our betterment and explore parts of life together. Like learning a new hobby or dressing each other up or trying a new travel destination or restaurant. There are so many things to do in the world, so many ways to make memories that if we just get into a relationship and just get used to it and become monotone, at least 1 of the person will leave. Trying out new things & new experiences keep the couple together.

Another thing is that he should be financially capable. I am not against working in the world but I am more interested in raising the kinds and finding ways to enrich their life in their childhood and teaching them things that aren't taught in school. I don't know exactly what makes me happy as of now so I don't have anything specific for my career but yeah may work part time or freelancing. It's not figured out. This is important from family's perspective too.

Communication is another thing I would want. Like talking and listening both. And since I am a reader, writer and learner I will have different thingsand questions popping up in my mind from time to time. If he isn't interested in the topics that I feel interesting or if the feels like 'why are you even thinking about it' then we won't make it too far because those things mean a world to me whether it be something in the past or a castle or the burger that I tried last time or the gadget that is innovative or that dress that made me look like a princess.

Looks are something that really matters for few. I agree, it has certain impact and honestly we females can easily apply makeup and conceal our blemish or flaws but men cannot really do that. There is no foundation available for me as far as I am aware of. I don't put much emphasis on looks provided the above things are present. When it comes to body weight, we both can work out together to shape ourselves up.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

I will say that I don't know what they want. I will base my answer on where I am now from listening to dating advice from men and women. I have found truths in both sides, but if I were to be honest I had more success listening to men who have more experience in this department, not a knock on women, again my experience.

The two dating coaches who I will say had the most credit to my success would be Coach Corey Wayne and the other being Apollonia Ponti. Both of them emphasize self love and growth to attract what we want in life and in a partner. Corey's got two books that are available for purchase and free to read on his site. How To Be a 3% Man and Mastering Yourself. In the first he explains how he got to where he is in dating and failed concepts and notions of what men do or think is right in attracting women and how to go about screening women out and attracting them properly through authenticity and values. He says you need to read the book 10 to 15 times to know it inside out and practice what it teaches in order to get results.

Apollonia is the same way in the sense that she has courses for purchase and a podcast to go along with a YouTube channel. Her methods and talking points and concepts are similar to Corey's. Self love and having purpose in life is what will bring you the partner you want.

Now from my experiences in dates since investing in that material has gotten me more results than ever growing up. What I know for sure is that women are more emotional and live in the moment and love to have fun. Have no expectations when going in off the bat to get a feel for chemistry and see if something comes with a date or so. Women respond better the more attracted they are to the man based on the 1 to 10 scale that fluctuates depending how you carry yourself based on Corey's teaching. If you do everything right, typically a woman will ask the question "what are we?" Around the 8 week/2 month mark. This proved to be true when I met my girlfriend. All I focused on was setting up dates when she reached out and kept the conversations short until the date to have things to talk about and have fun.

He bases principles on the three H's. Hang out, have fun, hook up. Of course this applies to women you are interested in and women you want to hook up with, depending on your values.

Biggest takeaways. Love yourself first. Have purpose, goals and direction in life. Define your values and boundaries when you are dating to screen out women that may not be compatible. Watch a woman's actions over words. Be a rock, calm and collected. Be willing to walk away and lose it.

JSmuve · Accepted Answer

Wow, there's quite a lot to unpackage here on so many levels. But before I do, scrolling through the answers, I don't think too many people have followed your instructions very well! They're just dumping all over one another. Such is life on this war-zone of a site. I have to break this up and put stuff as a comment because it's too long for GAG's response box.

Anyways, guys think this way because they've been fed so much contradictory information by both men and women that they become tunnel-visioned in order to come up with some model of understanding. Any guy who has interacted with women younger than 25 knows that a lot of them are emotional headcases, not to say that guys are better, but that's a different discussion. Hell, look at all the girls on here who admit to having bad anxiety and depression. There's so many! These younger women don't necessarily know what they want because they haven't experienced enough. They might know what they respond to but not necessarily know why they respond to it. As they mature, though, then things become more in focus for them. Same with guys too. But because of this, a lot of dating advice from women is very vague. You hear things like "be yourself," "make her laugh", "be confident", "treat her like a queen"; things that, may very well be true, but by themselves aren't helpful to guys and can be damaging when not given proper context. It's why a lot of guys who do this, when they don't see any results, they wonder "what the hell? I did everything women say and I haven't seen any progress" while they watch the women they want be with guys who, ostensibly, are doing the exact opposite of what they did. This is largely where the notion that women, particularly younger, more emotionally immature ones, don't know what they want.

Guy's advice to other guys is more geared at being practical and is based on their experiences; what's worked, what hasn't worked. It's not just the what, but also the why and the how. But one has to be careful because not all women are the same and just because guy A did something doesn't necessarily mean guy B can replicate it because they're different people with different personalities interacting with different women in different contexts. So guys' advice is equally but necessarily vague in order to adapt it to different situations. But, as always, the devil's in the details and a lot of guys can get bogged down in all of the nuances that they can't really develop an adaptable level of "game".

coachTanthony · Answer

I know what women want... drum roll please... SHOES they want SHOES! :+)-

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Many women think that if they simply tell a man whet they want and he then gives it to her, it is meaningless. The only way it has meaning is if she gives subtle "hints" or speaks in code and he goes to the trouble of deciphering the message and then produces the desired result. So I think it is understandable that some guys conclude that women really don't know what they want.

Lionman95 · Answer

Let say that way if dating wasn´t at least in some parts a mystery most people wouldn´t be single but in relationships. If dating was easy there would be neither a market for dating apps nor for any kind of dating coaches.
The way I see that many young men grow up not really knowing what women want. Some guys get in relationships when they´re young but because they got there more by coincidence than really planning something long-term it ends pretty soon.
But there is a growing number guys that has never been in a relationship for a couple reasons. These guys want to be in a relationship but they don´t how. So they turn to other guys that either are in a relationship or have been in relationship and seem to have better experience.
So the guys looking for a relationship either take them as a rolemodel or they ask them directly how they did it.
These guys are those you´re describing. They tell the searching guys that a woman would tell them that she´s looking for a man she can trust, have a good time with and a guy who has a life and organized life. But they will also tell them that´s what a woman tell them but there are things that will take for granted like for example that he has a high salary that he´s not smaller than
6'1 and that he has muscular arms. She might not say that but that´s meant by "a man she can trust and have a good time with". So our young guys that have none or at least no good experience with women are intimidated and stop there search because they come to the realization that they are not meant for dating. The guys that give such advices to so because they are either egoistic and want to throw young rivals out of the dating game or because they experienced it themselves.
These kind of advices might seem poor from a female of point of view but it´s some guys experienced that and they are spread in some ways by social media, too.
Because if both genders were totally honest neither girls nor guys write down their full expectation under a question like "what do you expect from your S. O.". Most comments I´ve seen haven´t been longer than 10 sentences and most of these expectations are rather just concentrated on the body, most are concentrated on character traits. Let´s be honest though if a rather unattractive person has all those qualities in most cases he/she won´t be chosen either because he/she might be seen as unattractive.
To sum up, I think the biggest reason is why those guys spread these advices is because they feel like they should. They´ve made bad experiences and they don´t want other guys to feel the same.

ohshee · Answer

Well that's the best part about women they are all different, , so I have to say I don't know,, what they want, all I know is what I want for a women or what I a offer. The only thing I can offer her is a good foundation I want her to believe in me and that I am capable and I will take care of her I will keep her safe and I will show my love everyday. That I love her for who she is because that's what made me fall in love I want you to have confidence Within. I want her to be one person I want her to be independent at the same time knowing that she can always count on me. I want her to know we are equal, I want her to know that she can wear the pants in the family as long as I can get into then without a combination or key.. I want her to have a great heart did she can look into somebody's eyes and see if there's something wrong, and not put the person down for it or act as if she is she's better but I want to hear to help and do something about it because that's who she is. I want. Her to believe in herself and not be afraid Take On The World for something that she believes in,, I really don't know what anyone really wants , all I know is what I can give , and if for some reason I'm not giving it then take me by the hand look me in the eyes and say , what ever it is you need to say to hear you

Citizenkirk · Answer

We think this, because women have conditioned us to, through generations of men doing the wrong thing all the time, women getting pissed off at them, scolding them for not doing the right thing, to give us endless, neverending grief,

Why Do Some Men Think They're Better At Knowing What A Woman Really Wants? Should We Test That Theory (please read details before reply)?

for screwing up in the first place, and then lying to them about not knowing better, or having a clue what they are going on about, which earns us a tirade of rage🤬, because now we don't listen🥱😴 to them, on top of trying to dodge responsibility, buy claiming that we didn't know, because we're just stupid men...

and they don't tell us anything anyway, except to let us know when we screw up, and add insult too mystery

, er-- I mean injury 🤕🩸, by "pretending" -- "not ever knowing" -- what is on her mind, even though she never tells him what's on her mind, and never explains to us men why we're supposed to know these things that are never shared with us, because mock ignorance, is supposedly, yet another malicious attack or mind game we ♂️'s inflict on them, on their respectability and sense of feminine♀️🧟‍♀️ social🐊🦟 decorum♀️🧟, and frankly, every single time we try to convince the woman that we don't know what's going on, we get the classic "If you don't know, I can't explain it to you!" 🤯!!! -- which no explanation has ever been given, as to how we're supposed to know things that no one's ever told us, and that's never been available in any kind of written text that we've been made aware of, with the librarian at the public library shaking her head in disdain at our ineptitude, for thinking that we are entitled to such information in written form, or verbal form, for that matter, because she's one of them♀️🧟‍♀️♀️🧟♀️🤦‍♀️, and we♂️😑♂️🤕, just don't get "? it?" apparently,😫 or according to them women we do get it and we're just being jerks on purpose pretending that we don't get it because disability, er -- I mean ability, 😒yea, 🙃right🤨? [π÷♂️= "🤡💞🤦‍♀️🧨💒💥🚑" or

"🖕🐂💩♀️♂️!!!" that we have that women insist we have that has never been explained to us how to use it whether it's psychic ability or something else maybe it's genetic information passed down from mother to son or something I don't know maybe women are telepathic and men are and women just think that we are receiving those messages that they think we're receiving when the only messages are brains are processing most of time is beer pork rinds and football, or in my case, hockey, on Sunday morning T. V.
We 🤔 we can't 🧐 know, if they don't explain things to us, so we just assume that we must know the right answer, because the women assume that we know the right answer, so they must know what they're talking about, so because women insist that men know what's on women's minds without ever giving them a clue, we just have to take their word for it that we have some kind of innate sixth sense, or psychic ability that tells us what women are thinking, even though we are not consciously aware of it because women keep telling us that we should have this unexplained situational awareness, and every time we screw up, they tell us we know better, therefore we must be doing it on purpose "😶🙃😑TILT!"
"DOING WHAT?" WE SAY🤨---
♀️🦟♀️🐊♀️🧨😠♀️💥♀️😡♀️🤬♀️🧟♀️🧟‍♀️♀️🤦‍♀️ ---- = too our ETERNAL SHAME AND REGRET🙍‍♂️😞🙍

And -- ♂️🤕♂️😶♂️😑♂️⚕️♂️🚑♂️🧨♀️💥💞⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️🚑
"Come on now, and meet everybody -- and hear us singin ---"
cuz nothing -- better than being together, to hear us singin --"
5 of us '🐤🐤🐤🐣🐥' and mom '🐔' working all day, we knew that we could make if our music '🎸':could pay '💸,'" --
then we got Ruben '🦃,' to sell our songs🎵🎶,"
and it all came together🤬💥 when mom🕊️ sang along!"
Come on now, and meet everybody🖕, and hear a singing🤮,
there's nothing better than being together🐂💩, --
to hear a singing🤬, --
to hear a singing🤦‍♀️, --
to hear a singing😒, --
🤫 to hear a singing!!!"

Anonymous · Answer

It's because we notice a very clear difference between what women say they want and what works for us. Let me give you an easy example, because I just found my old dating profile in my emails. I saved it because after a lot of tweaking it was an absolute masterpiece.

I won't post the whole thing but here's the beginning, because this was the part which drew the most attention:

"I'm not here to find a date or sex. It's much harder for me to find a girl who can keep me interested in the long-term, but a profile here won't hurt.

If that sounds arrogant - it is. Go and tell someone who gives a shit. There are plenty of desperate, soppy guys here who'd love your attention.

That should weed out the easily offended and the fat entitled feminists - good riddance!"

Then I went on to describe myself a little bit, and listed all the things I'm not into. In that list things I actually didn't mind but knew many women would do I mocked e. g. women who dye their hair a different colour to their natural colour, purposely to offend them.

This profile got the most replies of any profile I ever wrote. My girlfriend of 8 years replied to it. Before this I had to send a lot of messages out to get a few replies, with this I didn't have to send any messages out at all.

Would you ever advise a man to write something like that? Of course not. It sounds terrible. You'd advise him to be humble, positive, humorous, nice. Ask any guy how well that works. I purposely wrote it to sound like a cocky, arrogant prick and to trigger emotional reactions in the women who read it, and that's exactly what it did.

Then all I had to do is turn that into a positive. Women react emotionally - something you girls don't like to hear. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. You can't get a girl to feel emotions from indifference, but you can more easily turn negative emotion into positive emotion.

Another example: I used to be the typical "nice guy". I genuinely respected women, and just wanted a nice girlfriend. I wouldn't talk about sex. If she said she wanted to take it slow I'd be 100% okay with it. Usually she'd say something about being tired of players.

Things seem to be going good and then a few weeks later she says she just wants to be friends. I'd find out in many cases that she had sex with some other dude and fell for him instead, after telling me she wanted to take it slow. I'd stay friends with them regardless, and they'd eventually get cheated on or something by that guy. Then they'd come crying to me that they want a nice guy like me - but not me.

They'd repeat that cycle over and over again. I don't mean one girl, I mean loads of them.

Noticing this, I just became like the other guys. I became more of a fuckboy. If we didn't have sex by the second date I'd be on to the next girl. The ones I did have sex with would want to be my girlfriend. Sometimes I'd find out there was another guy they were "taking it slow with", I'd swapped places with him.

Women will say that they prefer the guy who respects taking it slow and hate fuckboys. When I was the nice guy I got friend-zoned, when I was the fuckboy I got women wanting to be with me.

It's really as simple as that. We base our opinions on what we see actually works, all based on personal experience.

Lliam · Answer

Women are like children. Men are like parents who know what's best for them.
😮😮😮 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Don't send the angry mobs with torches and pitch forks to my house! That was sarcasm.

In all seriousness? Men who say things like the examples you gave: "women don't want the truth" or "women don't want a man who shows emotion" are morons.

I think women want truth and honesty, but not in the form of brutal honesty. That goes for everyone. Hurting people is never productive. But tactful honesty, when it is accompanied by genuine regard, is appreciated. That's how healthy, two way communication works.

No woman ever said that men shouldn't show emotion. I don't think they want insecure, whinny, woa is me guys who wear their emotions on their sleeves. They want men who are courageous in the face of adversity. They want men they can depend on for safety and security. But they also want a man who is secure enough in his masculinity to share his feelings when appropriate; to be vulnerable, caring, passionate and compassionate; to display joy and sadness. Guys who act like robots are actually damaged and insecure.

I would never presume to know what all women want. That's stereotyping. If I want to know what a particular woman wants, I'll ask her. We can discuss it to be sure that I understand what she means. But I'll assume that she is being honest because I respect her.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I hang with a bunch of girls n guys (mixed sexualities), we are always giving each other dating or relationship advice and other friends lol.

I would always listen to a girl on advice about dating a girl, acting on it is a different matter.

my main advice for anyone is to find out the type of person you are planning to date, then adjust your strategy for that specific person. That includes, clothing, places to eat, etc.
This does not mean changing who you are, I’m me, I can’t really change being a gobby Geordie, but I can play up and down the social ladder etc.

The more information or advice I get the better I am at dealing with situations.

each person wants, expects, is looking for something different.

in real life (non social media), it comes down a lot of the time to being open and straightforward with a person who will gradually find out who they are actually dating. Go too far off this at the beginning and you will become single really quickly.

Each woman knows what they likely want, the fun is getting this out of her (or her friends, or her family) and then providing it too her, ideally in a way that appeals to her personality.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

Most men are made to believe that they are able to give a woman what she needs, and already have the knowledge.

That is a lie. It used to be that men would talk to women, and learn what they liked, and what they needed; then they would do what is required to meet their needs in and out of the bedroom. They were not worried if they would get her in bed; they were worried that they would not know her well enough to take care of her needs.

In the Late 70's when the women's equality movement went into full swing; they began to tell men, they should already know what they need, and how to take care of them. This started a snowball effect, that we are paying for today; where men do not understand women, because they know longer talk to them, and ask questions. They have even forgotten how to properly please a woman to the point where she will be begging for more. A side note: if you were new to sex back in the late 1890's, all you had to do was pick up a Webster Dictionary, and it would tell you in detail everything you needed to do to be effective; it even told you how to properly prepare a woman so she would be able to squirt, and clean everything out by doing so, before you went all the way. Just a little fun fact!!

Conclusion: Men have forgotten how to talk to women, and need to be given back the right to be men i all things. Chivalry is almost completely dead. It is the one thing that had men talking to women, so they would know how to take care of them, and what they needed!!!

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Well, when it comes to being asked out, I want a man who is dressed like he actually cares about how he looks, neat hair, clean fingernails, and well groomed (even if he’s going for the “unshaven” look) it should always look nice, with clean shaven lines! As for his attitude: A man should be polite, confident (never cocky), with a great sense of humor, and he should know what HE wants, but not assume he knows what I want! Most of all, a man who recognizes that going out with someone we just met can me very dangerous for young women. A gesture to show he cares about my feeling of safety like offering to show me his ID so I can tell a friend the legal name of the stranger I’m going out with, can go a long way to forming trust!
I like a man who can communicate, and one who is not afraid to show his sensitive side, or even cry at a sad movie, but not one who’s crying all the time. I like a man who is careful with money. Not a show off who throws money around, or constantly brags about how much he has. I’m going to be a clinical psychologist, I’ll be able to take care of myself. I’m not looking for a man with money, and certainly not one who flashes it around like a badge of honor! Im perfectly happy going to Mickey D’s, Dennys, or IHOP for dinner, if it’s because he’s saving his money for a downpayment on a sensible new car, or even a house! To me, any guy who is pouring good money after bad into things like “new rims” or basically anything that makes the crappy little car he drives, go even faster… is a child, and while I absolutely want children, I absolutely do not want to marry one! I want stability and maturity! Who cares if he has the fastest car in town, if he still lives with his parents? Like I said, I will be more than capable of supporting myself, I’m looking for a partner, not a boss, or another father, and certainly not a twenty-something year old child, who can’t even be trusted to not blow his entire paycheck before Monday! Mostly, I want a gentleman!

NathanDavis · Answer

I never needed to know what women wanted... what I really needed to know was myself, and to know myself the best I could, which is what I did, then I understood what I had to give, what I could do, first... for myself, and then for others.

When it came to women, I had no plans... I had an open mind, gave myself and them the actual chance to get to know another for who we really are and can/could be.

So I don't go around telling people I know what women want, I can only share some of my experiences, and all of those are based on my actual experiences with the 4 to 9 women I've actually been involved with.

The best I've learned is that we're all different, so of course all women are different, even in their similarities, things can go a bit or entirely different because there will be other factors involved and not just her personality or character, so... no, I still make no plans and/or pretend that I already know all there's to know about women.

I see you as a person, your own person, and I see you in the moment, this moment of our lives. Experience is very valuable and that's what will give me the best chances to be able to recognize and also discern so many things, but that's a guide to be used as reference, and NOT as a rule. There are no rules by the way, not strict ones. We people are quite complicated, so the best thing we can do is to show actual and genuine interest, to pay attention, to observe, and then try the best you can... to engage with that someone you're sharing a moment with. So then you work the best you can with that someone, and the rest is just life happening, as it always will. Life happens, always be ready for that.

razelove · Answer

Women want a reliable man who will be their rock. Younger or older, you can still get women without the looks or money, but you have to be dependable. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and be aggressive as far as the things you want are concerned.

Of course, looks and money sure as hell help a lot, but you won't hold on to anything without that core of integrity and knowing what you want and chasing it. Most people don't know what they want. When you know what you desire and are actively working hard to make it reality, that attracts other people to work towards that and other goals.

To figure out women, figure out yourself, and other people a little more first. We aren't different species after all, just by and large we differ on how we try to achieve our goals. Avoid post modern feminists too unless you're a guy who is a masochist. That's part of knowing yourself though, and if you are a masochist, do it to it.

TurboKid · Answer

I'm in this camp that thinks men are generally better at offering men advice but primarily because men tend to be the ones that have to ask women out and charm them over the dates. I find too many women giving very passive advice like, "Just be patient and you'll find a special someone."

Some women might excel just waiting around and doing nothing more than looking pretty and standing around while guys approach and they select among their suitors, but guys who aren't rock stars usually need to be more proactive than this, and it takes some degree of skill: boldness, assertiveness, confidence, social skills.

So usually if you have a guy who is struggling to get a date, you have to spur him into action. You have to tell him to act more, twiddle his thumbs less, be bold, take risks, and do it with some degree of consciousness as to what they're doing, paying attention to the woman's body language, and basically do it with some degree of skill (which tends to require practice for all but born-naturals). And I find a lot of women do the opposite encouraging them to be more passive and "genuine" (which is not a bad idea but a shy/timid type who is struggling with dates won't understand that he's being disingenuous with how he holds back his true thoughts and his passivity), and that doesn't work so well for guys.

glowingsunsets06 · Answer

Well for starters I want to be able to trust them. I want them to be able to be vulnerable with me and know that I won't judge them at all for it. I want someone I can laugh and play with without them taking it too serious but at the same time they can be serious when needed. I want someone who really likes cuddling and hugs... other wise they'll probably get very annoyed with me pretty quickly. I want someone who'll just be them self around me , if I fall for you I want to actually fall for YOU and not someone you're pretending to be.

Anyways that's all that really comes to mind
I'm gonna go work on this assignment now <3

Celtero · Answer

Right... rather than play this game I'll just explain it to you.

Women AND men, some of them at least, are very lacking in self-knowledge. They're just not very introspective people.

So here's a good analogy; If I ask someone what they want to eat, they'll stop and think about it. Their real favorite food is sushi, but since they just saw a commercial for pizza they'll tell me "pizza." We get pizza and suddenly they remember they don't like pizza all that much.

Same goes with asking people what they want in a partner. They'll just think of "good" things to list out rather than reflecting on their relationships and thinking about what sort of things make them happy.

Women do this more frequently and use it as a form of virtue signalling. They'll think "what virtues are looked up to the most?" And from that, they'll say in a partner they want them to be smart, and kind, charitable, loyal, and trusting... Even if in reality what they desire most is a man who is dominant, jealous, muscular, or apathetic.

Alright, if you've stuck with me this far I'll play your game. I'd say, according to women, what women desire most is a man who is decisive and strong willed, confidant, affectionate, funny, charismatic, empathetic, and passionate. How's that?

KatherineJ · Answer

I’m not sure that this answer will adequately address the question, but here goes...
My (now) husband and I were set up on a blind date by mutual married friends. What was I looking for? Those friends to STOP nagging me that I needed a boyfriend! What happened? I figured out that I enjoyed his company. He make me laugh, think, and express myself as I am-not as I thought he wanted me to be. At the same time, in him I saw a man that wasn’t perfect, but kind, considerate, and really amazing in so many ways-oh, and did I mention that he is gorgeous?

noob__master · Answer

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

On each floor the signs on the doors read:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

THE WIFE STORE

Floor 1 - has wives that love sex.

Floor 2 - has wives that love sex and want a family.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

As a woman who also dated and married a woman I can tell you this much about women and it is the best advice I can ever give when it comes to dating:

None of us are exactly the same so stop treating it as a one size fits all.

I personally love humor and honesty as my top priorities. Many other women may agree with me, but have different ideas of what they find funny. For me, I am a sucker for bad puns and dad jokes. That may not be the same for others.

You want to know what it takes to attract a woman? Get to know THAT woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Okay, lets give it a shot.

I think there are a lot of factors and experiences that go into "what a woman wants".

The 'bad boy phase': Some girls love the bad boys, there is a factor that woman find appealing (the danger, etc) from these guys.

The 'pretty boys or rich guys': Next is getting the trophy guy. The Mr USA with his good looks or getting the CEO of some big company. The glamour, fame and life style is appealing. The fast pace, fancy dinner parties, hanging out with 'the people'.

The 'nice guy': When you drop it into the long-haul gear. You need someone who treats you well, no real fuss. You hunt out the average joe who ticks your boxes.

Daddy Issues: Grouped together you also have "daddy issues" (it's not really daddy issues, but family issues, mom issues, etc.). Typically you seek out someone who is similar to your dad. If your dad was abusive you tend to go for abusive guys. This is simply because you are trying to overcome the abuse. If you 'fix' the guy, you loose interest and move on to the next (i. e. a cycle of it). Sometimes you can cut out of it and find 'the nice guy'. This doesn't only apply to abuse, but any emotional thing you had as a child.

So all in all, at the end of the day. What you want is something I can only tell you once I get to know you.

loves2learn · Answer

If you want to understand the female mind, listen to another female.
.
That said, I’ve developed a great respect for the male POV since joining this site. I’m understanding it more than I ever have and feeling bad for the times I denied my husband sex. I wish we had worked on the emotional component and communication sooner.

Tunasub · Answer

It my opinion that what women want most from men is honesty... when a man is honest with a woman that also shows her that respect is given and most of the time the man will get back what is given. This isn't rocket science folks. When you add intelligence and a sense of humor to honesty and respect, what a woman is willing to do for a man is almost limitless... also show her how you want to be loved just as she is showing you what she needs and how she needs it. COMMUNICATION I put this last because most people remember the last thing they have read.. don't be afraid to talk to the woman in your life, she probably knows what's going on anyway, trust her to trust and believe in you.

This is just one man's opinion.

Nikola321 · Answer

Well, never thought about it before tbh xD
All I know for sure is that the guys that say stuff like "women don't appreciate nice guys" or "you need to be extra rich and threat them like shit if you want them to love u" etc. are very desperate. Women do want a caring and good man, not smn that will treat them like shit. But the problem is, many women are still looking for "an alpha"(or however u wanna call it). As my female friend said to one of those "nice guys", women do like guys being nice and caring etc., but they still want A MAN, not a sissy. And just like men usually care about ass/boobs size, so do women usually care about muscles.

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

If both sexes new what each other wanted we wouldn't have all this awkwardness , the unknown, the drama, etc, it would be complete simplicity, longer lasting relationships without complication just my opinion ✌️

Alyssa11 · Answer

It’s always the dumb guys who do lol. I can’t stand men that give me a lecture about what a woman wants. I am a woman I know what I want so you cannot correct me. Thank you.

DaveToo · Answer

What do women want? You mean right this minute? Or an hour or a day, a week, or next year?
Women, like men, want companionship. Some want it more deeply than others.
Women like stability. Sometimes that leads to bad choices in marrying someone.
Women want to feel loved. Not just at the very start of a relationship but also at the very end of one. If you men actually listened to your woman, you would understand
it's not just closeness, physically, but emotionally as well.
Women need to feel productive in whatever they do. When they excel they like to be recognized for their excellence.
So for what women want, it's complicated and simple. To love and feel loved. Nothing else really counts.

fonduegirl · Answer

They've gone through them like shirts so they think that experience can define the entire feminine human species. What they don't realise however is the fact that they've been with the same kind of woman, the bimbos / high maintenance / gold diggers and now they're just overgeneralizing.

The_Maphio · Answer

Bad experiences who turned them into sore losers.
Since they couldn't have what they wanted, nobody should. So they go around spouting BS so that no one else can get what they didn't.
Immature, sad, also a bit of pathetic. But people of both genders can be a massive let down.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

There is only a few percent of men that knows what women want.

I am not one of them lol nada.
But I can try to understand and also wants always keep changing so not to worry about them

Advices depend on personality types generic thing is to be yourself and don't fake anything.

OFFCOURSE You can try to be better person in general that would eventually make them fall for you again.

Finchie40 · Answer

I honestly don’t know what women want, I can only give them what I want to receive is how I look at it, If I can make her smile , that makes me smile , we can only give so much to someone without receiving , when it comes down to being a giver without receiving , you are best just to walk away , We can’t force someone to be by our side we can just try to guide them to be by our side , if they choose to walk away , then let them go

JackSmy · Answer

NO! NO!! PLEASE DON'T TEST IT!!! Those idiots are DELUSIONAL, and if you test it, and EVERY GUY FAILS, it makes all of us look HORRIBLE!!
So many women fail to understand, that there are a lot of REALLY AMAZING guys, that aren't among these 'Test Types' and are just "Normal" and not misogynist D-bags!!

Splatzonelover1 · Answer

My experience with some relationship were very bad with some toixice men. I am understand no matter what relationship I been in it could be a different experience. My list for ok dating is honset, ask questions, talk about common interest or what happened in world. Video games these are just optional. My deal breaker list unclean, confusing red flag that isn't even clear , ungrateful friends or have more women friends part from if. They know from long term.. if short term then just red flag. Being toxic. and blaming me for having trust issues even know that I told my ex boyfriend that I did have trust issues with women.

Wiredone · Answer

I've dated enough women and I've been married long enough to know what women want. They want a guy who is faithful, trustworthy, romantic, caring and sympathetic. They want a guy who will respect them and treat them right, be helpful, and have great communication skills. They also like it if the guy is stable with a good career.

purplepoppy · Answer

Ok here comes the truth fairy.
1: no ugly, fat, scrawny or weird looking guys. Remember you can carry more in a 10p plastic bag than a handbag but who wants a plastic bag on their arm.
2: we want a big dick. It doesn't have to be massive but the words "I can satisfy you in other ways" are always a turn off.
3: you've got to have a proper job. It's the first thing our family and friends ask about you and we hate saying your a shelf stacker. If you haven't got a trade or profession it's too embarrassing to date you. Be at least as good as her friends boyfriend's, ideally be better.

Slartybartfast · Answer

I'd have to disagree with you about showing emotions in front of women.
I know this is one reason I always wound up in the friend zone. I don't care if your whole family died in a plane crash, your girl sees you cry, she's going to leave you. From my life's experience, women are repulsed by men who show the slightest sign of weakness.
I'd also have to say, that What women say they want , is observably different to what they actually go for.

Toxic masculinity is simply men trying to live up to the standards women created for us. If you don't see understand this, you have no business giving advice to men.

FatherJack · Answer

Women and men are very differently wired , polar opposites in many respects , so how can a man know what a woman wants? Plus every individual is different.

sixxx · Answer

For sure women want a man that could protect her and also responsible for her future like able to have a strong finance to lead a family. Love itself is not enough to survive in this world nowadays. So if a man with strong finance usually would be more interested for women to have a relationship.

Besides that I think one of the most annoying attitude about women is they expect men to know what's in their mind without telling man what do they want actually. Most of women are like that though maybe not all of them.

Honestly men could never understand if you do not tell them in words or face to face.
And one more women is very sensitive with her age and also weight so need to be careful for that questions.

I don't mean if I understand women better. I'm just telling based on my experience and also from majority of women that I know and how they behave.

JosyJosy · Answer

Arrogance. I could say that I know all men and that all they know is sex, but it's so deluded, closeminded to put everyone on the same page

Handy12 · Answer

Whether man or woman standing on the outside of anyone will have different degrees of I'm right your wrong. They don't want to think they're in the wrong man or woman. But it can be down to aggressiveness, it more that he wants the woman to be, what he wants her to be rather than really knowing. To know what she wants takes a lifetime as it changes as time goes on?

Anonymous · Answer

The only test of whether you know what a woman wants or not as a man is whether you struggle to get laid or not. If you struggle to get laid you rely on blind luck, therefore you don't understand women. If you can get laid fairly easily then you must understand women in order to seduce them, otherwise you couldn't do that.

In the same way that the only test of whether you understand how to make good money is to actually make good money. Results speak for themselves.

Main reason men think they know better is because we pick women up and straight women don't. In order to do this we have to understand what she's thinking at each point and how to act to move things forward.

Leavesbound · Answer

Me? I'm not a mind reader and don't pretend to be. If I want to know what you want I ask you. All I ask in return is be honest and direct. I am not skilled at guessing games. The phrase I hate the most is "well if you can't figure it out I'm not telling you!"

jerdanro · Answer

Question within a question for the women... Many spoke of vulnerability and openness. I agree this is neccessary in any relationship, but isn't stoicism also a quality you admire? In other words, do you agree that there can be too much openness and vulnerability? I'm going to make a generalization that I believe is true of most women. Forgive me if you disagree. Most women want to be with a man who makes them feel safe, that they can trust, and who they believe could protect her if they were attacked (verbally or physically). Doesn't more of a stoic attitude assure you of this? I think it is okay for a man to break down once in a while, but if he is going through a tough time and does this too frequently, it will erode your confidence in him. This is a genuine question. I need your feedback. Women please reply.

LogicBomber · Answer

We know what women want because we base our knowledge off what women do instead of what women say, pretend, or convince themselves of.

For example: Women SAY they want a good guy but generally only go after assholes. Women claim to not care about dick size but will mock or attack a male with a small dick every time.

When it comes to advice, women tell others what they think will sound good but not what is real.

”Just be yourself” is bullshit.

Women want a man who is a MAN, but also has a caring and compassionate side.
They want to feel safe and secure around him and want to know he will protect her.
She wants to know she can trust him but also doesn’t want a simp lap dog.

Women are a walking contradiction

Tim-loves-it · Answer

Women have been a mystery ALL through the ages. there's even a few jokes about it..

A man is walking on a beach, finds What looks like Aladdin's lamp.
He picks it up, admires it and rubs it.
The Genie of the lamp emerges and says, "You awoken me from my slumber, so you only get one wish!"
The man thinks for a bit and says, "Since i am a motorcycle owner, I want a highway from here to Hawaii for me, and my friends"
The Genie replies, "Sorry, I cannot do that. Please pick another wish!"
"I would like to understand women!" The man replies after pondering a bit.
The Genie, surprised at the man's answer immediately says "Two lane or four lane?"

Jerre · Answer

I, as a man, am sure a woman knows exactly what she wants. I have been with enough women to know she knows what is best for her.

Knighted2170 · Answer

Hmm, in order to do this I would need to do a MyTake of my own. Not sure if I can condense that much information into such a small space.

Your going to the information from one side or another. You just have to use what makes sense and works for you. Just watch out for half truths and fantasy "magic" non-sense.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Yeah, I took the advice of women before. It was a complete trainwreck, none of it worked. Why? Because the guy they had in mind while giving you the advice, is the one they want to behave that way, not you. I have tested both theories and have concluded you don't ask a fish how to fish. It's not that women cannot give good advice it's that they generally do not.

DWornock · Answer

Many men and almost all women are too illogical to express what they want. They say and believe one thing but their actions prove otherwise. Women say, "I want a nice guy." However, they reject nice guys because they are not attractive enough. What they want is a hot guy that will treat them like an unattractive nice guy would. However, that is unobtainable since the hot guy will fuck them but they don't value then like the nice guy would because for a relationship the hot guy demands and can do better.

HawkPerception · Answer

Girls to me are truly a mysterious species to me. Every time I think I understand something about them, they shit on my face. I am the farthest thing from one of those guys. Diving into the world of understanding girls is like walking into Jurassic Park. Get me the fuck out.

NightHawk99 · Answer

This type of "man" typically falls under the child category for me, same for women of the same traits. Neither side truly knows what the other side wants. No real man would ever say he's good with women. If he is, he wouldn't need to say it.

Adam1978 · Answer

For the same reasons I never ask the bank how to handle my money. They will only advise what they win on, the same goes for women. It's simply bad advice that they temporarily gain on and you certainly lose with. Your example is good advice because that what you act on not what you say. The other is treated like a kid. And you don't want to be a kid in the relationship.

Kingsavage69 · Answer

I've always said, if you want to get better with women, never ask the women what they want, but rather ask a man who is very successful and experienced with women. He is obviously doing something right otherwise he wouldn't have so many women :)

Sometimes it benefits us to take outside opinions to better understand ourselves. After all, we have a very biased opinion of ourselves 😌

jimmy2 · Answer

Tell me if i am wrong please  Women today want a man who will. Protect them Love them Cuddle with them Have children with them Provide for the family Be there for all of them Keep his mouth shut

genericname85 · Answer

cause some men have more experience than others? how do you wanna test this? by what metric are you gonna measure if their claims are right or wrong?

there's a reason men turn to "other men" for dating advice. the reason being that the advice we get from women just doesn't work. cause they are operating on "feel good" nonsense not "real life applicable tips" most of the time. at least that's my experience.

David_Bayer · Answer

I want someone which whom I can talk for hours without getting bored, someone that will support me (mostly emotionally) and someone that isn't afraid to ask for support.

Nobodyherebutme · Answer

Men don't know what women want anymore than they know where Jimmy Hoffa's body is. I have no idea what women want. I have to ask them and look stupid. All I have are pitiful guesses. Much as I love women, trying to figure out what moves them is akin to trying to empty the Atlantic with a tablespoon.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME 😄 Miss brains muffin's rules: Stay clean, no cheating, no disrespect, play by the rules, good luck! You know what i really want in a woman spongy forehead 😉

RealMarek · Answer

What works to get me interested in someone is if she is kind and feminine. If I had made those must-haves when I was young it would have spared me a lot of trouble.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Maybe ask someone with wisdom like Mr. Miyagi or Master Oogway

Lilbrown · Answer

Duh! Ask a man what a woman really want is like building a skyscraper with toothpicks. Hell, I get confused asking my wife what she want. So, I can not honestly answer this question.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Why does gender matter? Good or bad advice is the same regardless who's giving it.  I'm sure there is equal bad advice given by women to their peers about what men may want.

Why Do Some Men Think They're Better At Knowing What A Woman Really Wants? Should We Test That Theory (please read details before reply)?

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Why Do Some Men Think They're Better At Knowing What A Woman Really Wants? Should We Test That Theory (please read details before reply)?

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