Why do some men lie that they want serious relationship just to sleep with a woman?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Last man I dated, who I thought - was very mature, honest and smart.

He told me from the beginning that he was looking for a serious relationship.

I believed, but I haven’t slept with him because I need some time to build up emotional connection and attraction.

So, turns out, he never intended to stay in China and he was just looking for a one month adventure before leaving China. He left China one week after we stopped dating.

Why would he lie to me that he wanted a serious relationship then in the beginning?

I mean, I am probably naive, but have I not needed deep emotional connection for having sex, I would probably sleep with him sooner or later and I’d end up being very hurt and disappointed because I believe sex must be kept for someone you have feelings for and he obviously never planned staying in China. So I would be lied as he was never interested in a serious relationship.

So, I wonder, why do men find it necessary to lie and lead you on to somehow make you more likely to have sex with them?

Even if they are the type of men who’d never have trouble sleeping with anyone they wanted.

[caring__1]

It is very common for people (not just men) to say what they believe will give them what they are seeking, not necessarily the long-term truth. That is what bait and switch is all about. People put forth the effort when attempting to hook a person, but, after the person is hooked, that behavior becomes irrelevant. Sometimes people come across as career or education focused or health or fitness conscious, but those things are merely bait, not a true commitment.

It's unfortunate that people feel this is acceptable behavior, rather than see it as a statement of their true character. It generally takes a while for the truth to show up, so be cautious about jumping into anything based on a person's word (before they establish a significant pattern of behaviors that back up the word). It's too easy to lie with words, so don't put so much value in what people say. Judge them, instead, on the consistency of their behavioral patterns.

People hide behind deception, as they believe no one would be interested in their true self. Any relationship based on deception is of no value. Don't continue to legitimize holding onto a deceptive partner, as the value you're holding onto is nonexistent.

[Sweetsurprize]

Couldn't have said it better. My dad says that people's morals have gone down the drain with each passing decade basically. I think human nature has always been deceptive though, just some people are smart and they know how to PREY on the innocent and gullable. That with a mix of being immoral/having no conscience equals a recipe for disaster!

[caring__1]

@Sweetsurprize When I was young, it was fairly obvious to tell the good guys from the bad guys, and things were much more predictable. Yes, insecurities led people to hold back to protect themselves, but deceptive self-centered viciousness has gotten worse over the decades.

[Screenwriter]

Testosterone is a gift and a curse, and men are more often ruled by it.

In the throes of having sex with you, they'll say they love you and no more mean it than a hole in the head. On the hunt for poon tang and in the middle of passion, men will say any and everything.

Caution is the better part of valor, and only over time, sometimes a long time, are you likely to discover if a man seeks sex, a fling or something serious.

Sexual researchers say that amount of time varies from man to man, but few men can keep up the ruse for more than 18 months: a VERY long time. But right here on GAG, a woman had been in a relationship with a guy for a few years, they lived together and he dumped her unceremoniously because, he'd finished law school, which she supported him through, and suddenly said he wasn't ready to settle down, though he'd been settled down for those 3 years.

He'd gotten what he wanted: a law degree, a nice place to live while in law school, someone who helped pay his way, and free sex. Well, now that he could afford more and better, (or so HE was thinking) he was going to get it.

I think the aforementioned pirate is relatively unusual, but it pays to take your time and listen to what a man says to you in ALL its complexities. Often, liars will drop hints as to their mendacity while WITH you. And though you didn't say so, it sounds like this guy wanted to get you into bed, but you were bent on waiting until you were comfortable with that choice. Since you weren't, and you dropped him, his actual plans were revealed. Wasn't going to stay and left immediately after your "No."

Good for you. Sadly, you have learned a valuable lesson. Hold to your feelings and values, despite what the package looks like and promises. Sometimes it's "fool's gold."

[Ozanne]

Someone wanting a serious relationship doesn't let distance affect that, although of course it is a glaring problem when trying to make things work, that's for sure. You were likely doing yourself a favour to hold off and not let him have sex with you right away. If his feelings were strong, he'd want to make the distance a non-issue and work his way back into your life.

Seems like you dodged possible heartbreak.

But to answer your question, I don't think all men purposely set out to not get into loving relationships. Most men do enjoy the thought of being with a woman and having them in their life -- if it's the right woman, and not some crazy that she reveals herself to be. Then upon leaving, gets accused that he was just in it for sex. (I'm not saying this is you, just in general if the guy finds out there is no future with her.) Meanwhile, the sex has been had, and then it looks bad for all involved.

If your profile picture is you, I that see you are a white woman in China, which makes me assume you are there teaching a second language? If I am correct, you may be meeting men in the same job or similar jobs who are often only in China for a short period of time. If that's the case, or something similar, you'll always need to be careful, considering that the men you meet will not be there long term.

[dynamicyandere]

It makes my blood boil when men do that.


That shouldn’t be.


There are plenty of women who only want to have sex with people who are willing to commit to a serious long term relationship with them.


There are men who are manipulative and lie so that they can have sex with these women, without any intention of actually meeting the requirements.


They lie to get a girl to lower their guard and trust them, only to betray that trust.


If these men want casual sex, they should find women who also want casual sex.


But no, they are probably looking for more virtuous women because they rather have sex with women with higher standards, yet they’re lying about meeting those standards if they say they want a serious relationship when they actually don’t.


You bumped into an unethical manipulative man. I’m glad you didn’t believe him and get heartbroken.


Some men pursue sex manipulatively without caring about honor or ethics.


Such men lose my respect.

[dynamicyandere]

Also, there are guys with no game that think the only way they can have sex with a woman is to lie to their face.

But that’s not really seduction.

That’s just called building trust and betraying trust.

There’s no honor in that.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

What a joke. "Game" is just manipulation. It's the same as lying only guys good with women have refined that lying.

[dynamicyandere]

@ImalwaysrightOK I used the term ‘game’ loosely. Another word or term I could have used would be social skills, communication skills, charisma, charm, rizz, EQ, and intuition—but for sake of simplicity, I used the word ‘game’ because in the context of wanting to attract someone romantically, how good someone is with these soft skills is colloquially referred to as ‘game’.

If it was synonymous with lying, you wouldn’t have girls saying that a guy has or doesn’t have game.

They are complimenting their charm.

When a girl says, “He has no game.” She doesn’t mean, “He’s a bad liar. He should get better at lying.” She’s saying that he’s not good at talking to girls.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

@dynamicyandere a guy using "charm" or social "skills" to get what he wants is every bit as deceptive and toxic as lying. If I use charm to steal your car, isn't it still theft?

[dynamicyandere]

@ImalwaysrightOK

Charm is not about not about taking advantage of people.

You can use charm to de-escalate a fight that’s about to break out at a bar.

You can use charm to calm an angry customer at a restaurant.

You can use charm to help someone feel at ease who was threatening to hurt you.

Charm, like influence and power, is not inherently evil. It’s how you use it.

Like a kitchen knife can be used to prepare food to feed hungry children.

Or a kitchen knife can be used as a murder weapon.

It’s not the kitchen knife that’s evil. It’s the intent and motive and how one is using that kitchen knife.

Charm is not inherently evil.

But someone can use their charm and influence to do harm, like stealing a car.

Or someone can use charm and influence to help people, like talking a suicidal person out of jumping off a bridge.

If a guy (or girl) is looking to find a life long romantic partner to marry and raise a family with, they can definitely charm them.

It becomes deception and manipulation when they have ulterior motives and intend to take advantage of someone.

It’s all about motive and intention.

It’s absolutely possible to use social skills without being evil about it.

[coachTanthony]

Your answer is in the question. But to expound a bit... I also think men think women don't want casual sex and they all want a relationship which isn't true. Some men aren't confident enough to just be honest.

[Vegasrunner]

@coachTanthony in my opinion it's easier for people to shame men for manipulating for wanting sex than it is for shaming women for manipulating to get relationships.

[Ozanne]

@Vegasrunner How does a woman manipulate a man into a whole relationship? That's ridiculous. Either the man gets into the relationship or he doesn't by his own doing.

[blueonblack22]

Yes @coachTanthony there are an increasing amount of women out there who want casual sex. However I still think the majority of women don’t want that.

Women also says they “want honesty” but many will not only say no if a guy wants a hook up but will also judge him harshly (e. g. creep).

That doesn’t mean lying is okay. Of course it isn’t. But Jordan Peterson said if best with this famous quote:

“Women wear makeup because men fall in love with what they see. Men lie because women fall in love with what they hear.”

[Vegasrunner]

@Ozanne So you're saying that a man can't manipulate a women into sex? Either the woman has sex or doesn't?

[Ozanne]

@Vegasrunner You just said women manipulate men into relationships. Stay on track of your own argument.

[Vegasrunner]

@Ozanne and your response was "either a man gets into a relationship or he doesn't" so

[Ozanne]

@Vegasrunner So answer the question I asked, which you dodged. How are women manipulating men into relationships?

[Vegasrunner]

@Ozanne Seems like the incorrect question to be asking. If u don't believe men can be manipulated into relationships why do you believe women can be manipulated into sex? Seems like those two things can't exsist.

[blueonblack22]

@Vegasrunner nice work pointing her circular argument.

This all goes back to the “having your cake and getting to eat it too” attitude that exists in way too many modern women nowadays.

For what it’s worth the QA didn’t deserve to get lied to and manipulated. But men don’t deserve to be manipulated and lied to by women either. However men usually get a “well you should have known better you poor SAP” from society when that happens. And yet women still want a shoulder to cry on when they get screwed. If they didn’t then modern feminism wouldn’t even exist today. Because getting “revenge” is a big motivator to that ideology they are driven by along with mistaking empathy for respect with their giant victim “pity party” mentality they have.

It just all comes down to women expecting to get a shoulder to cry on when they screwed…. and too many people giving it to them.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@blueonblack22 I don’t feel pity for anything, I feel glad I didn’t sleep with him.

I am just confused as to why would he lie.

[Ozanne]

@Vegasrunner Casual sex or flings are usually one-time things, often quickly happening and quickly ending. A relationship is something people get into and put time in. Your original comment was: "it's easier for people to shame men for manipulating for wanting sex than it is for shaming women for manipulating to get relationships." Can you not explain what I've been asking several times now: How is it men are manipulated into relationships? (by the way, it's okay if you want to just say you fucked up and didn't mean to say this.)

[Constatine]

Actually... Men look rough, manly even.. but when it comes to relations... They are scared to death. They don't wanna fail or laughed at.

[GunFhulangas]

@Vegasrunner "for shaming women for manipulating to get relationships." - Where have you been living? Most know women want relationships, there's no manipulation unless you're dullwitted.

On the reverse there's plenty of men who use manipulation to get easy sex by lying, etc. women who want a relationship. It's only in America with the increase of denegrate behavior where less women want a relationship and predominantly because they can't trust American men as far as they can be thrown.

[Vegasrunner]

@blueonblack22 Agreed but let's be honest. Most men understand that woman have dogshit arguments they just don't push back because
1. They're trying to do what they need to do to get laid
2. Scared of being shamed.
When u actually stop and take a critical look at most of these women's POV's very few contain logic.

[Vegasrunner]

@lafemmefatale_1 Jesus, lady he's lying because he wants to get laid. I'm not sure why this is so complicated.

[Vegasrunner]

@Ozanne If someone has to explain to you how women manipulate men then perhaps this isn't a subject your educated enough to speak on.

[Vegasrunner]

@GunFhulangas I'm not sure what you're referring to please print the entire quote

[GunFhulangas]

@Vegasrunner That was your quote, if you lack the intelligence to comprehend then that's your fault not mine.

[Ozanne]

@Vegasrunner I think you're just sore now that you have me and @GunFhulangas calling you on your bullshit [original] comment under my thread. Everyone knows that people can manipulate others into sex -- because usually it's for the promise of a relationship! -- but you can't seem to explain how men get manipulated into a full fledged relationship, especially since you went out of your way to compare it to being so shameful for women doing it to men as opposed to men manipulating women into sex.

Anyway, this topic is one thing, and thanks to your dodging -- going nowhere -- but I notice you've been cross-topic harassing me now since this conversation and that's none-too-appreciated, and if I'm not wrong, can be considered Harassment under the Report options. Ask many: I'm not hard to get along with, been here a long time, seen it all. But this is the end of the line for you and me. Since you can't control yourself, thankfully I can -- with a block.

[GunFhulangas]

@Vegasrunner "If someone has to explain to you how women manipulate men " - again how do women manipulate men into relationships? Unless a man is an idiot - and yes there's plenty of dull witted men - most men know that women want relationships WHY else would they LIE. Your comments quite honestly show a lack of intelligence & responsibility.

[GunFhulangas]

@Ozanne Vegas is like a child. Not mature enough to admit he is wrong and trying to turn the situation on others. But like a child he lacks the ability & intelligence to do it successfully and looks more foolish, ignorant & uneducated with every word spouted.

[blueonblack22]

Can we all agree on a few things?

1. Straight up lying isn’t cool no matter what. But being honest doesn’t always mean spilling all your guts either. Some things are better left unsaid. For example there are scenarios where a man isn’t sure if he wants a relationship or not in the early stages. It’s okay to play it by ear and not have an objective.

2. Women usually have a very high barrier to entry in the early stages of dating. Their feelings will dictate where they go next. Feelings don’t always align with reality.

3. It’s too bad the QA had this bad experience. But it happens. It could have been much worse. At least this guy is out of sight and out of mind now. It’s okay to ventilate but if she’s looking for a shoulder to cry on then she isn’t going to get it. At least not from me.

3. Men nor women shouldn’t be judged with honesty in the early stages. But there is context involved. For instance someone could admit they are a recovering addict. In their own POV they might have really persevered and overcome a major demon in their lives. But the other person might look at them differently. They don’t understand the context of the situation and will likely shut down much quicker hence losing out on a potentially very good thing.

[Ozanne]

@GunFhulangas Thanks @GunFhulangas, much appreciated! Yes, he's made it obvious who he is, and so have you with your thoughtful, fair, and reasonable remarks.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@Ozanne How women manipulate men for relationships

-Girl presents herself as not a hoe and one of the good girls
-Scrub their social media/sketchy past as much as possible
-Make the guy wait and act like she hasn't partake in sexual market place
-Guy gets into a relationship with said girl
-Finds out later that she was a hoe pretending to be a nice girl

[Lookingforthetruth]

@Ozanne Other ways, women manipulate is hiding their true personality and acting in a way men find desirable. Later, once she thinks the guy can't leave her (example divorce penalty), she shows her true personality and the guy is miserable and likely trapped if kids are involved and he doesn't want to break up the family unit.

[TipsyFr]

@Ozanne i kind of get what he says though. A lot of guys just want sex, they also don’t want to be portrayed as a player, a lot of women only agree to sex if there is a lead up to a relationship. 1+1 and you get guys who will enter a relationship with a girl for the sex. Not interested in her emotionally or potentially even finding her annoying. This obviously leads to a lot of doomed relationships but society says guys who don’t want sex are fuck boys and a lot of guys are too weak to go against the crowd or be honest in public about it. I reckon this is what he was referring to. I’m not trying to take part in your fight just my take on it ✌️

[Ozanne]

@Lookingforthetruth You're giving examples that happen when relationships start that men equally do to women. Shitty men frequently show their nasty side to women after getting involved with a woman just as much and in the same way.

About sex, it's typical for men to manipulate women into just having sex, when it's NOT as typical for women to manipulate men into just having sex. See the difference? So here again, the whole comparison Vegas made of men being shamed for manipulating women in to sex / women manipulating men into relationships as if it's equal is not so.

[Ozanne]

@TipsyFr "you get guys who will enter a relationship with a girl for the sex". All that work for some sex and nothing more. Poor men. :(

[Lookingforthetruth]

@Ozanne Men do not do this equally to women. Women have most of the power in dating and actively pick shitty men that abuse them over and over. Guys on the other hand pick what they can get.

Sex is actually use more by women to domesticate men. Women often use sex, especially in marriage to curtail what behavior they want in men and what they do not. And this even goes in LTR. Using sex as a reward however does not work for men with tons of options, which is why women are so pissed at fuckboys. Also there is no difference, you just want a typical response of men bad and women good and don't want to acknowledge that the dating experience and wants from both sexes is worlds apart.

[GunFhulangas]

@Lookingforthetruth

Girl presents herself as not a hoe and one of the good girls - it's very easy to identify this unless you're an idiot. By the way she dresses, talks, acts, etc.

-Scrub their social media/sketchy past as much as possible -- some people aren't desperate for attention and don't have social media. If you think they're whores, you'll believe man can walk barefoot on the sun

-Make the guy wait and act like she hasn't partake in sexual market place ---- unlikely, most women who sleep around don't have the mental fortitude to wait

-Guy gets into a relationship with said girl
-Finds out later that she was a hoe pretending to be a nice girl - bogus

[Lookingforthetruth]

@GunFhulangas And yet so many men fall for it and end up in divorce marriages. Aka it's not so easy. Most guy take what the woman says at face value. Most men are blue pill. Most women will change their behavior, dress and action base on the man in front of them. A woman can be a cunt towards most people and will act like a saint for the man she wants commitment from.

--Some people aren't but a lot are. There is a saying that attention for women is like sex for men; they'll take it from anywhere. Right now there are billions of girls with social media posting pics of themselves in bikinis and half naked outfits for male attention (see thirst trap pics). And a lot of these girls have a man and still post said pics when in relationship.

Example,

https://www.instagram.com/chica_ruch/?hl=en

-See Logan Paul's girl. She made him wait despite having a lengthy past of blowing a guy at a football game, having strings of boyfriend, posting vids of herself asking for any random guy to come over to fuck her. Women know the game and will pretend to be a "good girl" if she want to secure commitment.

-Not bogus. Most men just lie to themselves that they didn't wife up a hoe and block out the fact that their girlfriend/wife has had many men before them.

[GunFhulangas]

@Lookingforthetruth Kindly grow a pair and stop avoiding my responses. Diversion is soo childish.

Many men end up divorced because they are unfaithful. Statistically proven. Google it. Leading cause of divorce as initated by women is unfaithful husbands.

One merely has to go onto online dating where hundreds to hundreds of thousands of not even separated men - so they're not even properly divorced yet - are looking for easy screws. Some of my female colleagues have told me this and it's disgusting.

"Right now there are billions of girls with social media posting pics of themselves" - yes in America, yours is a highly denegrate country unfortunately starting to badly influence other countries.

And if a guy is willing to put up with it or get involved with such - WHY is he crying about it? Most of these guys got involved with these women because they are "hot" and well... bite the bullet as they say. It's like a woman getting involved with a cheater & crying about it.

Instead of being ignorant & uneducated and blaming all women as the same - driving away decent respectable women because NOBODY likes constant toxicity - improve yourself and find something better.

[Ozanne]

@Lookingforthetruth "Guys on the other hand pick what they can get." ... oh, but for sex, right? ;) The whole premise that women are tricking men into relationships is equally bad still doesn't fly. Go read half of GaG and read what women have to say about their boyfriends turning into jerkoffs after they get involved.
"Sex is actually use more by women to domesticate men." You just proved my point. Women want relationships, they don't want to just have sex and that's it. A man still has to willingly enter the relationship like a big boy, knowing it's going to be a relationship. And as TipsyFR just tripped up and admitted, much to my amusement, hoping it was going to be a hot take, that a man will willingly get involved in a full fledged relationship just for the sex -- which again proves that he's doing it for manipulation just to get sex.

It seems like at every turn, men are still saying they want sex, and you're now admitting that men will either trick a woman into getting it for a fling, or they'll willingly go through with the whole relationship bit, all to get some sex as if none of the other advantages to having a girlfriend are wanted or happily accepted. A poor man will endure months of this charade, just for sex (and likely all the cupcakes she'll bake, the dinners she'll cook, the laundry she'll do for him, the favours in general she'll give him) -- not understanding for a moment that they're being deceitful about the whole thing. Got it.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@GunFhulangas Kindly stop being delusional. All you've done is stated your opinion and your behavior of referring me as "childish" makes it sound like you are a woman whose created a male alt account to troll men.

Except being unfaithful is not the number reason for divorce. So try again. I know trying to put blame on men is fun and never holding women accountable but when 80% of women are the ones who file for divorce, you need to start looking at the other sex.

And again, I've mention that women like attention within and outside relationships. Some men put up with it and others do not. Some men treat the girl as a situationship and already have an expiration date on when they will dump her. The point that you missed is that a lot of women, will either put their social media on private, delete it and start anew or scrub of all slutty pics when they want committment. Guys are trained to see women as the more gentler and honest sex and take her at face value, unware that she is actually a sloot.

Instead of being a simp (and likely a female pretending to be a male), maybe you should update yourself on female behavior today and realize that the women of today are not the same as women of the past. Women should be held accountable for the state of dating they complain of today, since they control most of it. It's simps like yourself who blame, blame, blame men and never hold women accountable as to why it's only going to get worse.

[GunFhulangas]

@Lookingforthetruth " holding women accountable but when 80% of women are the ones who file for divorce" - why are they filing for divorce if it isn't because of an unfaithful husband. I mean when a woman doesn't have an education, no job, etc. she's definitely not winning by filing for divorce. Try to use your brain. You do have one, right?

"I've mention that women like attention within and outside relationships" - so do men. Do you live underneath your mother's basement stairwell? Cheating is quite common among men & women and only a complete ignoramus thinks otherwise. Are you a complete ignoramus?

" being a simp" - better a "simp" who respects others and whose family is proud of the $500,000 he makes yearly than someone who won't look in the mirror and blames the world for his failures.

" Women should be held accountable for the state of dating they complain of today" - and men are not to be held accountable? Do you think that men, which I certainly am and probably more than you for that matter what when I don't spend my time whining like you, are not accountable in life?

"simps like yourself who blame, blame, blame men and never hold women accountable" - I'm not blaming anyone if you had an intelligence level above 60 IQ you'd realize that in my own post I say men and women are equally to blame because I'm a mature adult & you're just a child.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@Ozanne For sex, relationship etc most men do not get a choice. In order for us to actually have a discussion going forward, u need to first acknowledge that male and female dating experience is worlds apart. An average man can create a dating account or approach a 100s of women and get no where. An average woman can create a dating account and get a list of men lined up willing to date/sleep with her.

I actually didn't prove any point. My point, if you use logic instead of emotions and cherry picking is this.

1. Many women want relationship at a certain in their life but have been condition by feminism to partake in casual sex and behave like men.

2. Women use promise of sex/sex itself to curtail and control male behavior. Many girls will be side women for men or friends with benefits in hope that it will lead to a relationship. It's no different from men who fain interest in wanting a relationship from a woman and in some cases have situationship (casual non-serious relationship) to continue getting sex from her. Each party wants something from the other and is manipulating said party to get it.

3. Just like you said, men can put on their big boy pants and not get into a relationship or not get trapped. Well the same can be said with women. Outside of rape, a woman has full autonomy to turn down having sex with said male.

4. Men trick women to get sex. Women trick men for relationship by presenting themselves both way in order to get it. Both are equally deceptive. The difference is that the men who can trick and fool women into sex often are womanizers that have tons of women, most normal and average guys don't do this. Women however very often use deception to get relationship and resources from men. Whether it's pretending to have sexual interest to use a guy at work/proxy boyfriend that she has no sexual interest from to marrying a man for his resources that is wealthy.

[GunFhulangas]

@Lookingforthetruth And since you're just good for whining but not much accountability or maturity much like a woman - are you sure you're a man?

This is what I said elsewhere to another post
The real question is can women trust themselves?

Soo many women nowadays in western society lack self respect, lack standards & lack responsibility. They will "hook up" with any guy who shows them even the smallest bit of attention at a bar or club or anywhere for that matter for some, sleep with him within a few hours for some girls, and then complain. And complain. And complain.

They refuse to look in the mirror and realize their poor ideology is why they are "used". Worse they refuse to learn from the experience and just keep doing it & complaining.

Life isn't fair. Children learn this the very first time mum or dad takes away their toys.

And people like free things.

If any woman is going to "give out" within the first 72 hours of knowing a man then why should he or any other man put in any effort or for that matter hang around?

It's not that men can't be trusted.

And more WHY or HOW can he trust such a woman?

To any man he's going to be thinking if she gave out to me within the first 72 hours HOW many other men has she slept with, HOW can I trust her in a relationship, WHY would I trust her. It's that simple.

Even the sleaziest of men are naturally programmed to seek a potential wife / mother of his child and a woman who gives out easily / quickly hours is NOT desirable. Yes some men find them desirable but this is bottom of the barrel men, welfare receivers, etc. because who cares if the woman's kid is their bastard they can still get money.

See if you can comprehend it

[Lookingforthetruth]

@GunFhulangas Again, unfaithfulness isn't the number one reason people break up in marriages. Trying to spin the conversation in that direction is just dishonest discourse and shows you have no point to stand on. So I won't even bother giving a response to this.

Again, you miss the point.

Anyone who needs to brag about how much they make online to random strangers is most likely a fucking loser in real life.

And I see you are a troll and I took the bait. Maybe try not making it obvious that you aren't a woman pretending to be man.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@GunFhulangas Even your profile pic is fake AI generated. Try again femcel.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@GunFhulangas No one is buying, what you are selling feminist. You are obviously a beta male that says this shit for female attention or an actual female posing as a man to try and get a reaction from people.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

Dude I’m honest like a motherfucker. Hence why I failed at tinder over 7 years ago. So I think your last statement sounds like 🐎 💩

[Filthy_Immigrant]

@GunFhulangas no shit! There’s a reason why i have not used it OVER 7 YEARS, dumb fuck

[Vegasrunner]

So men have need to be accountable for their actions but women dont?

[Vegasrunner]

@GunFhulangas Looks like a part of a quote. If a person has to Dr your saying it proves that they have no logical position to dispute it.

[Vegasrunner]

@GunFhulangas A more childish chatactetistic would he name calling and throwing a tantrum simply because your feelings are hurt.

[Vegasrunner]

Lol, I literally contribute to have fans so I thank u and @GunFhulangas if anything it validates my point as for all your complaining you have been unable to explain away the obvious hypocrisy of your statement.

[Vegasrunner]

@GunFhulangas By that same logic most woman know that men want sex. In fact comparative men want one thing from women while woman want a myriad of things from men. So based on your logic woman are dull witted?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

@GunFhulangas you called me an IDIOT first Einstein. what’s a matter princess? You like to insult but can’t handle others insulting you back with a dose of your own medicine?

Till then the reason I used tinder +7 years ago was for a similar reason why you did not knew 2+2=4 when you were in kindergarten

[Lookingforthetruth]

@Vegasrunner That person is a female masquerading as a man or an actual low, test simp pretending to be some successful guy on Gag for positive female attention. Either way, they are pathetic.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

@Lookingforthetruth damn brother you read my mind!

[Vegasrunner]

@Lookingforthetruth Lol, yes I got that impression. Most likely the original girl that commented. That's pretty standard on GAG. in my opinion most women aren't interested in the truth as much as wanted to feel heard.

[TipsyFr]

@GunFhulangas well if you look at the reports they say men are more likely to cheat during marriage however age 18 to 29 married women are more likely to cheat. The number one cause for divorce is infidelity.

[TipsyFr]

@Ozanne First of all tripped up? You’re delusional I never stated I was against you merely stating my opinion. it’s not about who’s right or who’s wrong the whole concept of that is a cocktail for a bad conversation. The idea is to give eachothers opinion on the matter so we all come out knowing better. I don’t know what happened to you in life to be so hardcore against men but it is a shame. I never disagreed when you said there are men who manipulate women for sex. I wasn’t talking about guys who go out with multiple women. I wasn’t talking about guys who intentionally think I should manipulate this girl into having sex. What I said was there are a lot of men out there interested in sex not a relationship. Guys who don’t want to be the bad guy but still have basic human instincts. Women out there who want a relationship. These guys think ok relationship = sex. I’m not pointing the finger, I’m not trying to partake in some silly who’s mister or misses super smartypants game that you all seem to be so intent on playing. I’m just giving my opinion on how guys I know think or thought especially at a young age. Why do guys go after the prettiest girls at a young age, it’s certainly not because he thinks she’d be great in a relationship. As guys get older this is supposed to fade out though, supposedly the male brain has a rewire process up to 25 yo. Maybe I took it the wrong way as I’m French this is not my primary language But still I can’t stress this enough, you have this intent like people are out to get you, they are not just be nice, be better 👍

[Filthy_Immigrant]

@TipsyFr in case you haven't realized she's obviously a fucking feminist! you just wasted your valuable time trying to reason with such individual

[MrOracle]

That's like asking why people lie (including exaggerating or not telling the whole truth) to get other people's money. Many people are selfish, self centered, greedy, and lazy. Lying let's them get what they want from people who would otherwise never give it, and with much less time and effort from those who might have made it take longer or be more difficult.

This is exactly why - unless you are only looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex - you must thoroughly vet ALL potential partners over a period of time. It's easy to sustain a lie over an evening, a weekend, maybe even a month, but much harder over several months.

Today, Feminism teaches women that they can have casual sex like men and behave like men, and that committed relationships are bad and should be avoided, so every message you get, from friends and media, teaches you to just go for it. You are smart enough to realize that doesn't work for you (it doesn't work for the vast majority of women either, but most are too indoctrinated to admit it), and thus you saved yourself from being used. Sadly, there aren't many like you these days, but that used to be the norm before Feminism. All of the relationship rules and structures that Feminism sought to destroy (and has largely destroyed) were put in place BY women and FOR women. Funny that the entity destroying all that purports to be advancing women's interests, as it destroys them for all to see.

[StormChaser838]

It's not a question of men, that's just the way humans are. Guys and gals will do things like this in their own girl and boy ways. Always, start from a perspective that a human will let you down. Now it is also important to give a person an open mind and a full chance, but always hold a little part of you back, that the person will let you down. Then in the very rare instances if they don't, you can be pleasantly surprised. There is no, absolutely no,,,, reason you cannot do the something to him. You should also just see him also as a "fuck", and just fuck the shit out of him. Then if he proves himself, only then should you take the fucking to the next emotional and max level. However, in most cases, people don't have the capacity to rise to this ultimate sensual level. Therefore, it is more practical to just get your rocks off, fuck the living daylights out of the bastard satisfying your women needs and move on. We men do that all the time, there is just no reason why a woman should be denied this pleasure, it is your right. The fact that women get the raw end of the stick always in the sex game, gets me, a person of good conscience, so fucking angry on this injustice,,,, I clench my fists in shuddering rage. As I said above, fuck all these cunts and just be one step ahead and fuck the shit out of these guys, then you can see how things go from there. Best of luck.

[FellowTraveler]

Your question is a complex one, but here goes my opinion with a number of options.

1. PERHAPS he was interested in a serious relationship. You progressed to the sexual stage and HE realized there was no future for you both as a couple.

2. Perhaps he went to another woman when he left China

3. His reasons ARE his reasons.

I would also like to put out there that it takes TWO to do what you did. Please don't assert that you disliked the activities you engaged in (keeping it clean here). Men quickly discover one item about women that I find perplexing. As it regards to 'loving', you might have gone 'around the world' and 'grabbed the sheets' multiple times in one fling, and had many flings. You might also expound how great he was or how great it is. THEN somehow he does something WRONG in your judgement, and you sharpen ALL of that joy and ecstacy and then stab yourself in the heart with it. In this context, frankly I don't get why some women are "Buffy the Heart Slayers!"

[GunFhulangas]

@lafemmefatale_1

There's two types of men in the world, just as how there's two types of women.

Some people - seems an increasing rarity - are raised properly in decent respectable households where they had good parents and learnt how to successfully contribute not just to society but to relationships either with women, friends, etc.

Other people - seems an increasing normality in some countries - were raised in broken households where bluntly the parent or parents weren't a good influence. Either the parent was abusive, drunkard, drug addict, cheater, into cheap easy sex, etc. These people learn that it is easier to blame others for their failure in society & relationships because that is literally what they learnt to do from their parents.

.

Now as for your question.

Men like this fall into the 2nd category. The ones raised in lousy households with poorly parents and who think such conduct is acceptable. In decent respectable society it is not. Nobody likes a liar.

My advice for women who encounter such men is simple - Increase your standards. Unless you're into cheap sex stop going to bars & clubs expecting a serious relation. Stop falling for "pretty lines" and cliche nonsense. Most certainly don't have sex early into ANY relationship.

A man who is respectable won't pressure you, won't leave you, etc. if you say let's have sex on the 5 or 6th date. Men who are not respectable or decent will because like their parents they have very little to offer.

[Emyyyy]

Because that how disgusting they all are. They shame you for sleeping around. Then you get into a relationship to not sleep around. Then you get cheated on , then they shame you for apparently choosing wrong and not using your mind reading abilities. And if a guy uses you. Oh now you body count is up. And now your used goods.

LMAOOO. This is why I don’t dare listen to no IMBECILE, IDIOT, MORON Walking around with a d-K. Never in my life will I take the criticism of the most DEGENERATE gender alive. You birth them, and they call you “whore” for birthing them.

[Emyyyy]

@lafemmefatale_1

[Gent207-2]

Individuals learn how to get what they want without empathy and it's not like this doesn't also happen in LGBT+ relationships.

I can guarantee you right now there is a woman who has done the same to one or both sexes.

As to why, it sounds like the least favor he did for you was to break it off a week before his departure rather than go ghost.

I'm sorry that happened

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No, I don’t think anything bad happened. I didn’t sleep with him, which I am grateful about. If we dated for longer I’d eventually catch feelings.

[blueonblack22]

“Women wear makeup because men fall in love with what they see. Men lie because women fall in love with what they hear.”

- Jordan Peterson

For what it’s worth I definitely don’t condone lying. I was never a good liar anyway. Once you lie you have to keep on lying to cover your tracks. You box yourself in an alternative reality.

But from I’ve noticed is a lot of women want to have this “feel good” fictitious alternative reality. It’s always based on “feelings”. If this guy was honest beforehand he just wanted sex would have you of done it with him? Most likely not

I have always been honest with women but I do stay tight lipped on some issues. Reason being is they won’t understand the context of what issues the same way I view them. Their “feelings” will give them an exaggerated negative viewpoint on things. Women are very quick to shut down and reject when that happens.

[Sweetsurprize]

Please don't generalize like that, not all women are irrationally emotional like that.

[blueonblack22]

@Sweetsurprize never said they were. But the QA definitely is and she’s literally flat out admitting it.

[blueonblack22]

Sorry QA I didn’t read your original comment that you did NOT sleep with him.

[Rei13]

Women tend to want relationships and men want casual sex is the general thought process. Not that it holds true for everyone. The only men I’ve had sex with were the ones I was in a relationship with and knew for awhile beforehand so that I wouldn’t get burned. However I have a friend who is all for casual sex and gets mad when guys try to pretend that they want to have a relationship with her. She’d rather them be honest, she doesn’t mind having a one night stand or a friends with benefit situation. Really I think everyone should be honest about their intentions that way you know both parties are on the same page and you’re not wasting anyone’s time

[bluecotton]

I have never done this; I would never do this. However, I have an answer for you that you may not like.

Our society and culture has placed committed monogamy on such a pedestal that some people are finding it difficult to have their sexual desires met. I am not excusing this poor behavior. It is wrong to pretend to want a long-term relationship with someone when all you really want is sex. However, I am trying to answer your question openly and honestly—to explain the behavior.

A lot of people view one night stands very negatively. For this reason, it can be difficult to find another person who is also openly looking for it. As a result, people sometimes turn to dishonesty to get what they want.

[lightbulb27]

I didn't read all that. I think there's two camps.

Selfish liars: They have to get what they want, so they put on a show and then run away. these may be "narcissistic". Solution... slow down, get commitment. Even then, they may still be liars. There are cases of "traffickers" playing women, dating even marrying, then turning them into prostitutes.

Shame/Fear - they want, they try... and the emotional voice inside causes them to freeze up and cannot commit or go forward. These are tough cases requiring inner work and healing.

It's unfortunate the emotional damage that people need to navigate through life, but that is reality. Anyone not understanding or believing what the Bible said 2000 years ago... I don't understand. The problems were well understood, articulated, with a solution given. And yes, some of the groups above... many... can be religious, Christian, Catholics, and everyone else.

[JamesMI616]

Most of us don't deserve to be with anyone. Even the best of us are like just okay morally. There's very little a guy won't do or say to close the deal. It's a major dick move but it takes integrity and character to be a decent person and that's more effort than most of us are willing to put in.

[midnightmoon05]

Regardless…. always be prepare that we are all in competitions…they can leave at any time…even being married, after having kids, after being together for over 20-30 years. So build the trust you need…if you feel connected to have intimate relationship with the guy go for it. My only request is that he is only loyal to me while with me. If he wants to leave… nothing can stop him.

[Sweetsurprize]

How sad that men these days don't have a conscience anymore. They don't have the Golden Rule mentality. Maybe it's NOT good to invest so much with people these days. Sad.

[midnightmoon05]

this is not new.
I am not worry. I was married. I got married again. So just pick one who is loyal and welling to work together. It takes two.
You would think I am so hurt that I would never do it again…but we must learn and go forward.
We are very happy.

[strawberrybaby3]

Because some men are just dishonest and disrespectful. It was his way of manipulating by you by telling you what you wanted to hear just to use you in the end.

[strawberrybaby3]

*manipulating you

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, thankfully I didn’t sleep with him.

[BLP11520]

Some men will do anything for...

[Leme2]

Because men don't think the same way that women do. Most men dont need an emotional connection enjoy sex. Men can enjoy sex with a woman as long as they find her physically attractive. It is also harder for men to get sex than for women. An average woman could go on the street and ask men for sex and 60 % of the men she asked that weren't in a relationship would say yes (and I am being conservative with 60%). So if a man wants casual sex they need to be the either to be in top 15% of men through some combination of looks, money, status, and charisma; or they need to lie to get it;

If you were to put yourself in the shoes of the average man you would understand and maybe have empathy. Most women don't appreciate the thing that can get easily, and men tend to shame women who exercise that power (and call them sluts) it's very ironic.

[ohmyguy]

that answer is in the question realy... and there's truth to that.. and they likely could go for a serious relationship... the differance would be in how they define serious.. when expectations dont line up.. doent mean that they are not serious about wanting a relationshio.. its that we get to know one another details n specifics of information come to light... about a person we realise we got the wrong idea or misidentified the person they turn out to be not what we had in mind.. best not to. rush into things n jump to conclusions... try learn from or undesirable experiences as much as desirable ones.

[RingOfFire]

Because most men have a very strong sexual drive. Like any overwhelming feeling it can cause strange, misleading or even dangerous behavior on their part. They can lie, cheat, deceive, or with some men even do terrible things to get what they need.

Men can even convince themselves they are sincere about their feelings and deceive themselves... until they either get what they want, or don't get it and then lose interest either way.

It's all about an overwhelming physical need. It even makes it hard for them to know what their own feelings are sometimes let alone someone else trying to figure them out.

[ronaldo75]

Because it's easy and it works. Women are warned from the second they learn to walk to be careful with men who promise love and commitment in exchange for sex - and STILL no matter how much you're warned - you still give up the pussy the second some guy says some warm words into your ear and promises you he'll be there forever. So... yeah we do it because it works and seemingly will work until the end of time.

Then when y'all have been done dirty and got used like a piece of meat you have the nerve to act all shocked and amazed as if you weren't warned about it since you were 12 years old. It's just another testament to women's' tendency to always think they're special and it "won't happen to me" no matter how many times you're warned.

[kakaling]

Next time just make sure your definition of a serious relationship is made clear to him. Some people are just twisted.

Dominant man and rich man are the dangerous ones, not because of them, but because of you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think that’s a nice learning experience. Also, I didn’t sleep with him. So, I guess he ended up being frustrated too.

[exitseven]

I am sorry that this happened to you. Just know that all guys are not like that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks, I am glad though, I gained experience. As for him, I’d feel sorry if we dated any longer and if I eventually caught feelings or slept with him. But It didn’t happen so I think that’s pretty good we stopped dating.

[exitseven]

I think its his loss.