Why would a man never contact me after first date?

[Anonymous]

He never ever messaged anymore. He has seen me before, it wasn’t his first time to see me.

I am not that ugly, I felt like the date went okay.

[PositiveFlight]

This sounds like a horrible case of him not having the courage to just be straight and honest with you. Unfortunately so many men nowadays are so fearful of commitment. They want the benefit of a female on demand for selfish pleasures but they want no commitment. I’m surprised he even went out on a date. It seems like the idea of a respectable date nowadays is scoffed at. It’s also pretty telling that you had to pay your share of the date.

I hope you don’t take it personal that you did something wrong or that you feel not pretty enough, or that you said or did something wrong on your date. His behavior is purely reflective on him, not you.

This is why girls in their 20’s and 30’s in this day and age are dating and marrying guys in their 40’s and 50’s. It takes maturity and the correct attitude of respect for a woman. It’s a sad world.

I hope you can move on to someone who understands and acknowledges you and the value right in front of him. Someone who will be honest and grateful

[Asker]

Thank you, I offered to split the bill out of the courtesy.

He said he is usually the one paying for the first date but didn’t interfere when I offered paying my part.

[PositiveFlight]

I and other respectful men wouldn’t have let you pay 😊 But you were sweet and kind to want to contribute.

What it comes down to is traditional chivalry and showing a girl that as a guy, I highly value you for you and enjoy your company.

I fear that as a society, we are losing those traditional values and the lost art of dating and courting. It keeps a man grounded and helps him not be selfish.

[Mewzinc]

This guy deserves mho. Excellent advice and wisdom.

[PositiveFlight]

@Mewzinc Thank you 😊 I’m just trying to spell out the reality. A girl deserves to be treated better. It’s not weight knight stuff, it’s just treating her right. I know I’d want a daughter of my own to be loved and respected, not toyed around with her emotions and feelings when she is trying to be vulnerable and seek love, a relationship, or marriage.

[PositiveFlight]

*white knight*

[DermalPunch]

@positiveflight thhhiiiisss.

[RockyHammock]

@PositiveFlight, so if I understand correctly, a respectable date in your mind ends with either telling the girl it will not work out or setting up a second date?

[PositiveFlight]

@RockyHammock It ends with just being honest about one’s intentions and not leading her on or leaving her in limbo. If there’s no attraction or it’s not going to work then just be kind about it but honest. Just basic decency is all

[Anonymous]

There could be a variety of reasons why a man wouldn't contact you after a first date, and many of those reasons may have nothing to do with you personally. Here are a few possibilities:

1. He wasn't feeling a connection: Sometimes, no matter how well a date seems to go, there's simply no romantic spark or chemistry between two people. It's possible that he didn't feel a connection and didn't want to lead you on by continuing to text or call.

2. He's not ready for a relationship: It's possible that he's not looking for a serious relationship at the moment or is not emotionally available for one.

3. He's busy or distracted: It's possible that he has other things going on in his life that are taking up his time and attention, such as work or personal issues.

4. He's not interested in a second date: It's possible that he simply wasn't interested in going on a second date, for reasons that may or may not have anything to do with you.

It's important to remember that rejection is a normal part of dating and it's not a reflection of your worth or attractiveness. If you're feeling discouraged, remember that there are many other potential partners out there and keep an open mind and heart as you continue to date.

[Anonymous]

It can be any reason
Maybe he wasn’t interested continuing this relationship with you and going on a 2nd date.
Maybe he already had a girlfriend too..! So 1st date didn’t mean anything to him.
Whatever the reason is since he only went to date with you only once speaks volumes … he made a dick move and he is clearly not the one for you.
Don’t spend your precious days thinking why he did this and that. He clearly doesn’t care so why waste your energy on him.. don’t give him or the universe this chance of you wondering about him: actually curse the fuck out of him so karma hits him
Bad too and try on finding another good men this time ! That’s the best “ revenge” you can do
😇💕

[EmyyWolf]

Because he’s an imbecile, and his momma didn’t teach him how to say “bye I’m not interested 👋🏻”.

In HighSchool I dated girls cause I was a LESbo in that time, and if I wasn’t interested I’d say
”bye I’m not interested 👋🏻”

you're best reaction and course of action to this… your response to this… is:
Ignore forever. Cut contact for good. Forever. Get amnesia and completely forget that demonic person existed 👍.

For the rest of your existence, if they come crawling back. Get restraining order. Don’t answer calls. Delete the number and completely burn and erase any information you have of him. Period.

[EmyyWolf]

You don’t owe anyone respect. Specially if they disrespect you to begin with. Allow that demonic possessed creature to be the burden of someone else. Be thankful to the HEAVENS that they completely removed themselves from your space. From your existence.
If you want, I could give you some tips on how not to be a doormat

[RockyHammock]

Everytime I read one of your posts I think thats probably what a misandrist would say

[EmyyWolf]

@RockyHammock
What am I wrong?
Is this not what you would do?
🤡🤡🤡🤡
You’d allow some lemming sheep disrespect you.
I know I wouldn’t. I’d probably get someone to beat them up. It’s all about respect.
How is this misandrist, mo—Ron,
I——iot
F——OOL

[Avicenna]

This sort of thing happens all the time, so don't take it personally. What most likely happened is that he went on dates with multiple women and narrowed down the ones he wanted to pursue things further with. He should have told you that he didn't want to pursue things further or whatever the explanation is rather than just ghosting you, but it does happen a lot when someone no longer has interest.

[Michael09]

First, how did you feel when you met your date? What did you discuss hopefully not
Politics, were you loud or did you forget about the garlic you ate? Topics need to be common
If you are a couch potato and he loves fast cars He won't call you back.

[OlderAndWiser]

You can be "okay" but that doesn't mean EVERY guy will want to date you. Maybe you are 5' 7" and he prefers petite girls. Maybe your voice reminds him of his fat cow sister. Maybe your preference in music to too different for him. f he thinks you are not a good match, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you; it just means that he thinks you aren't a good match. Not what you wanted to hear from him, but accept his judgment on that issue and keep moving forward.

[Michael09]

Remember in life One MONKEY DON'T STOP THE SHOW.

[AviatorTom]

Obviously, to him, you are not the woman he wants to date. The date may have been "okay" but it wasn't good enough for date #2. Not to worry... there's nothing wrong with you, you and he just don't match up.

[CaptainOverthink]

There's several possabilities in the comments. To add a small speculation:

He might be the type that is a bit insecure in himself. Or a bit more than a bit. Alchohol can surely mask that well for some.
But your 5h conversation would probably put some hints into that hypothesis.

As an insecure, overthinking guy, I have many times been caught up in the moment, especially when under the effects of alchohol and after some sobering time had passed I managed to convince myself that a good experience might just be feeling like it was at the moment, maybe it was just me and she didn't like it as much as I thought.
It's the issue of uncertainity and has a lot to do with not wanting to seem dumb or inadvertantly behaving like a predator. But the irony is that doubting oneself this way can do just that.

He might also just be dating others at the same time like many popular people do.

He might have has a lot to do at his workplace or in life in general and things have gotten in his way of making an opening.

Have you tried making contact with him?

[crossdressingrihno]

He decided he’s not interested in you. Both men and women do this it’s absolutely a low blow, but these days it’s kind of common. You go on a date with somebody decide you don’t want to go on a date with them again and instead of telling them, you’re not interested you just decide up and leave without mentioning a thing. Again, this is a common practice these days not that it’s OK just that a lot of people do it.

[D_Bone_Steak]

If I don't get sex after a first date, I'm done with her and assume she is not interested. Plenty of other fish in the sea. That doesn't mean I'd be rude about it or ignore a person like Space Ghost. I'll be friendly, but I'm not going to be a tryhard/simp/beta-orbiter/emotional tampon for a chick that doesn't show enough interest in my D_Bone_Steak.

[FifiJones]

Was there a physical liking?

Do you happen to have parents or fosterparents who secretly ruin your chances?

All if takes is one threatening message from anyone and 99% of people give up/start ghosting. And there's an army or mean parents/fosters/neighbours organising just that.

[GoingDownSouth]

Regardless of any reasons he may have, it is complete cowardice to ghost someone after a date. This 'man' is not worth another thought by you. His type don't deserve the time of any woman.
Don't give it another thought, there's nothing wrong with you.

[FilmGuy93]

Maybe he just didn't pick up a romantic vibe? Something that a lot of women seem to forget in dating is that you need to feed into the flirtatious energy of the date for men to want to get flirty with you.

I'm a pretty bold guy, but if I sense that the woman I'm flirting with is uncomfortable, or she simply doesn't reciprocate my flirting; I'm not going to keep trying to flirt with her. I'm gonna stop trying to flirt or trying to escalate as a simple matter of protecting myself.

[RockyHammock]

People have hard lines they cannot cross in a relationship. For example, he wants kids and you do not. If that hard line was disclosed, which it should have been on the first date then he opted for the less damaging path.

If you reject a good girl that rejection can lead to pain and change. So, rather than trying to change who you are and also burning down possibilities, he decided to leave a door open in case either of your stances change (i. e. he no longer wants kids).

[MysteriousDarkness]

You are not the first to get a first date and nothing further and won't be the last. You could have said something or done something when you shouldn't have or not said something or done something when you shoukd have. He might night have made it home or didn't think the date went as well as you think it went. My advice is to move on with your life.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because he didn’t wanna feel obligated to take you on another date.

[Asker]

Yeah but why? What might be a deal breaker from my part? I split the bill, we talked for like 5 hours.

[BarryLiverstone]

I wasn’t on the date to know how the vibes were and also don’t know both of your intentions for dating. I could take a guess that there wasn’t sexual chemistry; for example did you two kiss?

[Asker]

No but that was not our first meeting. We kissed for the first time we met.

On that date we didn’t kiss.

[BarryLiverstone]

Your question said this was your first date. Can you explain because I am confused.

[Asker]

We met in the bar for the first time, were introduced by friends. We had an amazing day, talked and in the end kissed 3 times. He couldn’t keep his hands off my waist, face and lips. He asked me out a week later saying we had an amazing chemistry and we met each other again. This time he never contacted again.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’d say the day at the bar was a first date even if you were set up by your friends. As you mentioned he was into you. Was he intoxicated?

The week later you two met but after 5 hours of talking he wasn’t kissing and touching you? Because I would expect him to continue doing what he did at the bar right?

[BarryLiverstone]

Also was there lots of communication before your 2nd date (meeting)?

[Asker]

Can I dm you? I’ll feel more free to share all the details

[BarryLiverstone]

Go ahead I’ll try to help

[Asker]

We have a date next week :)

[Anonymous]

is girls i've lost contact with but still interested in , more saw them at bars though than actually dates. had done shots at the bar with them but not seen much of them afterwords , but an actual dates seems kind of different and would seem to indicate he didn't feel it was what he wanted

[Anonymous]

Some might think this is bad advice but… have you tried contacting then to ask why they ghosted you? You gave them your time. A currency once spent no one can get back. The least they could do is offer up an explanation as to why they didn’t want to see you again. Maybe give you some feedback for the next date.


Im not saying hit em up with a crazy desperate text but maybe just something polite but also inquiring.

[red324]

The same reasons girls do the same thing to guys. For me it's a little different. They agree to a second date, we continue talking for a week or two while she makes up excuses to not go on the second date instead of just saying so from the beginning.

[StormChaser838]

If u really want him to contact you , try contacting him, just as a feeler call. Just a call to say, was wondering why u were so quiet so long. Don’t be too warm with him, if u get a cold wibe then fuck him. Dating is a numbers game

[MrCommodore]

Your question states he never contacted you after a first date, but you posted a comment to another poster stating it wasn't your first date and you kissed after a previous date. I'm confused as to what is accurate.

[OfMiceandMen]

He may have been on the fence the first date, decided to give you a 2nd chance, and then decided against contacting/seeing you again.

No big deal, his loss, just move on and find a better guy.

[Paris13]

He may Have Had a Change of Heart and Decided to Not further anything. It happens. Move on. xxoo

[megabamse]

What is never? A day? Several days? Several weeks? He might be busy. But don't expect that just because you like a guy that this guy will like you back in the same way. Just move on instead, don't be desperate.