What's your preference on paying at the end of a date?

Question

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I guess I’m not out there dating right now, nor have I ever really “traditionally” dated, in terms of going out to dinner on a first date or something. The going out places usually came after we started hooking up, back in my dating days, haha. So it wasn’t like there were these formal auditions that took place at a decent restaurant, we likely just knew each other through work or mutual friends, or maybe met at a party or bar, and everyone was in college, so I don’t think it was really that kind of game overall. Like I’d always watch sitcoms and everyone’s meeting some new person at a fancy restaurant, and I’d be thinking “WHO DOES THAT?”, haha.

So, that considered, and just saying my dinner dates were usually with one of my established girlfriends, or someone I was at least seeing, I prefer to pay. I lay out all those aforementioned caveats to say that, to be fair, I haven’t been single in the post-dating-app world, so I’m not coming from a position of “I’m going on like 3-6 dinner dates per month at mid-range restaurants or better and footing the bill.” That would’ve been tough in my 20s.

But in a perfect world, I’m kind of old school, and I believe the gentleman should pay. Just feels right to me. I wouldn’t have a fit if a woman insisted on splitting, but in my mind I’d be like “damn, these are some new streets, times have changed.”

Huntingnfishin · Accepted Answer

Man pays everytime all of it. Even if its a terrible date

OlderAndWiser · Answer

For my generation, it is expected that the man will pay for all dates, regardless of who initiated the date. There is no discussion about who will pay and there is no awkwardness or miscommunications. This is all fine with me, because I can afford to pay for dates.

I'm married now and I still pay for everything when we go out (which is at least twice per week.)

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I consider the date to be one of my allies so I would not expect them to pay unless they could afford it. The one thing is, I want a meal that will last over an hour. Burger King tastes great, but the food is gone in ten minutes. I want to have a drawn out conversation on the date that gets emotionally close because the purpose of the date is to strengthen your bond.

AviatorTom · Answer

I prefer to pay, but if she wants to pay her share, or even the full amount, that's okay with me.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to be of the mindset that the men pay. But in this day and age I’d say they pay for their own portion. It can add up as a man if you’re paying for multiple dates over a number of months. Women will often say they’re not sleeping w a man on the first date, which is fine, that’s her right. I get that. She wants to make sure he’s serious about the relationship and not just about sex. But a man should say I’m not paying for dates till we’ve been on X amount of dates so I know I’m k ow you’re serious as well. Guarantee you the girl won’t go for it. She’ll claim it cost a lot of money for her makeup, her clothes, etc. Which sure it probably did but she’s not using all that lipstick, mascara, eyeliners, etc. all on one date. Plus it’s not like her clothes are a one time one and done wear it once then throw it out.

SweetJoyGirl · Answer

The men have always paid. I am old fashioned, so I prefer that. When he starts talking some 50/50 rubbish, I know he is not seeing me again. Not because I want his money, rather I know what I definitely bring to the table. I did not learn to slave away in the kitchen and keep the house clean to add up in a 50/50 relationship. 🤷🏾‍♀️

MisterWack · Answer

I have a girlfriend so, I’d honestly pay for her unless it was her treat.

If I wasn’t dating someone, I would take my own advice to always discuss payment for the date before arriving at the restaurant like if I had multiple dates lined up for the week and it is a hefty bill to pay for two meals… I’d honestly just pay for my meal and she pays for her own meal, that way if it doesn’t work out it isn’t a financial strain.

I don’t know, just my mindset Ig.

emeraldsaphire · Answer

Well I like to go dutch for first few dates. I don't want to feel like I have to put out, if he buys everything After that I like to keep stuff 50/50. I don't measure it or anything. He'll get the tickets and I'll get the popcorn. It might not even out at the end of the day, but it's all good.

I have met guys who like to pay and give gifts. And look if they want to pay, I'm not gonna stop them.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't know, I just have to laugh at this kind of moment in the early beginnings. It's always a subtle dance of awkwardness and untold things... You? Me? Split? Well? Then? Okay? What? Bartender's opinion? 😂

It's almost a shame that this awkwardness has to vanish, it's so much fun

Garud · Answer

Pay your own. Or Suppose we ate at two different places, then she will pay the entire bill at one place and I will pay the entire bill at another place but only if the amount is not more than two times. But if she only demands and does not spend the money then I will consider her a useless woman.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I just figure if I asked them I am paying no natter which date number it is. Granted, I have had a couple first dates where they insisted on them buying when the bill arrived and for me to get the next time which was fine by me… and those times always led to a next time and so on so that was good in itself.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

If he wants to see me again he should pay if not well then I guess we are just friends at that point. Unless obviously I have no interest then I am defo paying myself so I don't owe him anything and don't have to see him again.

bowenw · Answer

Usually whoever did the inviting should pay, unless it's a long term relationship, then it can be split or come from a joint account.

msc545 · Answer

I would prefer to just do it rather than argue about it.

asarjam · Answer

Guy pays. Can a long-term relationship share paying based on the economic status of the two people, yes. But as a rule, the guy should pay.

tzdc21 · Answer

Person who asked should pay, OR you both agree to split beforehand

electromagnetic · Answer

Depends whom asked.  My husband usually pays cause he can but I pay for coffee dates and outting. Or just whomever had their card near by or cash for smaller items.

HighValue · Answer

Each person should pay. If she wants the man to pay, she needs to be a virgin saving herself for marriage. Never pay/provide for all of these low quality women that are easily replaced.

Med_guy1978 · Answer

With me, the male pays... It's nice to see she offers but not important. If I feel she's not leading me on I can pay anytime and no obligations to me but sincerity. If she insisted, I'd let it be once in a blue moon.

Lliam · Answer

I always paid for dates, especially since I was the one who invited her. It was no biggie for me. I didn't give it a second thought.

Miristheiss · Answer

I haven't been single in a while. The guy paying was pretty standard so I never even gave it thought.

4ngelic · Answer

paying for our own food or alternating every date who of us pays

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I guess I always just assume that I'm going to pay, unless the woman expressly tells me that she plans to pay.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I expect a woman to pay for everything and serve me sexually as well.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

She pays it all and, if she's lucky, i might let her fuck me.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Dutch Discuss it first But I would STRONGLY put up an argument that men pay. Women worth having will not look to screw you

worldscolide · Answer

I've always been rather traditional, so I've always paid. On that same token, on occasion my wife takes me out and pays for it. I'm not against this.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I ahev no issue with it especially if I asked her out. When I have been asked out the girl has usually paid

Apple1996 · Answer

Men should always pay for the date

Anpu23 · Answer

Whoever asked should pay. Unless their are agreements in place before hand.

LiamJHayden · Answer

My situation is such that unless it is my birthday I offer to pay whether it's a date or just out with friends.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I always pay im just old school i guess. I don't understand men now a days if you can afford to pay for a date then don't date until you get your finances in order

Tomisworthless · Answer

anytime i was out with a girl i was never expected to pay, didn't want to think this was a date or god forbid any attraction

tomas64 · Answer

My preference is to follow the etiquette I was raised with, the man pays. As I am older that is my preference, it has not always been the case but that is my preference.

Pete671 · Answer

Men should offer to pay, women should decline,,,

Anonymous · Answer

We split the bill, it's a date not a charity event. The whole men pays dates is out dated and no longer needed since now days women make up roughly fifty percent of the workforce.

OddBeMe · Answer

Leverage to demand sex after

Anonymous · Answer

By card usually.

FenixG45 · Answer

Usually for the first date, the one who asks; pays. After that, anything is possible

Jennz6 · Answer

Girls don’t pay, let everyone know that 💃

brotato333 · Answer

the guy pays, no exceptions

Abbycado · Answer

Split it.

Dongie · Answer

There never was another option back my day.

exitseven · Answer

I always pay.

MrTaboo · Answer

I always do. unless she brings friends.

shortster · Answer

If I invited you out, I intend on paying for it.

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

The man should pay

What's your preference on paying at the end of a date?

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