Who do you think should pay the bill on a date?

Question

Personally i would say “whoever asks to out, is the one who pays”.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I pay for the majority of everything, but I still disagree with your reasoning. That might apply to going out with friends or something, but we all know that 98% of dates involve the man asking the woman out, if the tradition was that women were expected to ask men out, every third news article would be talking about the expectation that the asker pays is misogyny and the exploitation of women.

The idea that it's always the asker's responsibility to pay allows women to feel entitled to being paid for, rather than showing some appreciation.

The tradition of the man paying for dates comes from a time when women rarely worked outside the home and typically moved from her father's house to her husband's house. Dating was about vetting potential spouses, not just partying and having fun. The entire dynamic is radically different today,, with women wanting to completely reject traditional responsibilities themselves, but still expecting men to accept all the traditional responsibilities that benefit her. You can't have it both ways.

Even the Europeans figured that out. They each expect to pay for themselves on dates. It removes money from gender expectations so there is no entitlement. People go on dates because they want to spend time with the other person, not because they get free meals, drinks, or entertainment. And if someone wants appetizers or expensive drinks or whatever, they know they are expected to pay for their own orders.

Now, if you truly hold traditional values and are happy and willing to provide traditional value to your partner and accept traditional responsibilities, then it's okay to expect traditional treatment from a man. But you can't have modern values and expect traditional benefits. That will just end up with men using you just like you use them, until you age out in your early 30s. And that's your choice, of course, but you can't complain when you get the predictable outcome.

Cormac995 · Accepted Answer

Go Dutch after all if you care about the person and not the money why does one of you need to pay for the other? The bond matters where does money come into this unless you're a gold digger (Both men and woman can be gold diggers it depends on the context most of the time.)

If you don't need money then you should be well enough off to pay your own way and if you care about the person and not the money then why does it matter who pays? Just go dutch or take turns paying for the date I'm going to be honest with you regardless of your sex (Worse for men though) if you insist on the other party paying, you're really limiting your dating options.

A lot of people just straight up can't afford dating right now if they have to pay for themself and their date it's too expensive for most people. If you're willing to pay your own way that will broaden your options a lot because a lot of guys straight up won't bother when they could be spending that money on something else, we like or want to do.

People expectations for dating these days are at unrealistic levels with the reality of our current world. Dating the old-fashioned way doesn't work anymore people can't afford it.

Gwendoline · Accepted Answer

Whoever asks but I will say that a first date doesn't have to be a $300 steak or lobster meal at a fancy restaurant. It could litteraly be as simple as a walk in the park, say like if you were a new yorker and was around central park or a park like it or a walk by the river or beach. Maybe just a cup of coffee. Maybe something fun like bowling or laser tag. A drink at a bar, go to the movies. Depending on how well you know the man a drive in the car, netflix n chill or dinner at yours or his is probably not a good idea though.

NoDecision · Accepted Answer

Why does someone have to pay anything? You can use some imagination and create a date that doesn't even involve any money at all. A hike, a picnic, bike riding, or even just picking dandelions for dandelion tea.

Summeroflove · Answer

Both people should offer because there is women out there too who demand to be taken out then request somewhere expensive to demand the bill.

Offer to pay your half if he offers you can choose to accept that. I think knowing what you’re wanting is fine just be honest if you don’t see it working out with someone just decline to go on further dates. The women who get overly offended are obviously women who can’t find the kind of men they want so they become bitter.

That or those men just don’t choose to keep going out.

ohsheeT · Answer

I agree with you If I ask you out that means I wanna take you to have a good time. Have fun smile and enjoy and I would pay

OlderAndWiser · Answer

In my entire life, the only dates I didn't pay were the ones when my partner took me out for my birthday. And I am very comfortable with paying for dates.

ShellyB · Answer

Whoever asks the other one out. Which, yes, most often means the guy pays.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Dates don't have bills

Restaurants have bills
Bars have bills
Hotels and resorts have bills
Cruises have bills
Theme parks have bills
Concerts, comicons, and arcades have bills.
Movie theaters have bills.
Collectable shops and gaming stores have bills

But dates do not.

Are you suggesting that if you purchase something with a loved one present, that only one of the people should pay for their own purchases? Because thats dumb.

Are you suggesting that either I or she needs to pay the other person to spend time with them? Because thats not a date, thats a prostitute/escort/hooker/whore.

Are you suggesting that because the other person suggested it, and you agreed, that you didn't also choose to go there and use purchases? Because thats also dumb. If you didn't want to go there and get stuff, then just don't.

Communicationisking · Answer

I'd have to agree.. If you take someone out you pay but open to discussion. Can always just say your going to the toilet then go pay then when when it is time to leave you just tell your date we are going to do the dine and dash and see their response :)

Zack-Bann · Answer

I don’t usually think too hard on it and pay when the sum is reasonable

But if a girl insists on dragging me to a fancy restaurant and order the entire menu Im getting separate checks
Not getting fleeced just to uphold an outdated principle of gallantry

To this day I have never had to do it.
It’s always reasonable sums and I pay without think too hard about it

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

The shitlord in me just wants to say make women pay, and always make women pay.  But 'normal me' says whoever is offering is the one paying.  I never offer. So women always pay for me.

LiamS95 · Answer

I would usually resch for the bill on a date but if we've dated many times and she asks me out somewhere it would be awesome if she paid.

jahaims · Answer

I feel like if someone tries to pay for me and I don't at least offer to cover my part then it feels like I'm saying my time is worth more than their time. Why should someone have to pay to feed me just because they wanted to get to know me better and dinner happens to be a good place to do that.

PrincessFiona · Answer

I believe that a man should always ask the woman. If you ask for a date then it makes them see you as being desperate or needy. But when he asks I believe he should pay for the date. I have thrown in at times, for example the tip and maybe my popcorn and drink because I want him to know that I'm not greedy. But that is at your discretion. You do what makes you feel best. But I never ask a guy for a date. Guys what do you think?

Screenwriter · Answer

If it's first dates and both agree to go out with each other, let it be a coffee or breakfast date and let each person pay for themselves. Therefore there are no obligations on either person's part and no one is getting taken advantage of.

Billlewis · Answer

I always insist on paying not only for every single date I go on with her, but if I’m lucky, she’ll even let me start paying for her dates with the other guys she’s dating, which I very, very much appreciate.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

The first date the man after that every other time you switch... but I mean some men don't like a woman to pay my husband almost always pay for us but that's his choice i always offer to pay and I think that's what counts

CaptainObivous · Answer

For the first date, either the asker outer pays or split the bill. Any dates after the first, split the bill, this is 2025, not 1925 where a majority of the work force was men hence the need for men to pay for dates.

xcheerleader_jessx · Answer

50/50. You don't know each other yet. If you do have chemistry then alternate by covering the bill one day and then he covers the bill next time.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah, I do think that who ever did the asking should be the first to offer to pay.. I mean if you asked somebody on a date, that means you had to means to pay and it can be assumed that you were going to pay..

exitseven · Answer

It is the person that extends the invitation unless previous arrangements are made.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

The guy should always pay unless I don't like him and have no interest in seeing him again to which we can split.

_Autumn_ · Answer

Whoever suggests going out should be the one to pay

HungTexan · Answer

Usually the guy! I’m old school.

slatyb · Answer

That's reasonable, but if I accept a date from a woman and I know she is paid considerably less than I am, I will offer to pay.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

"Whoever asks the other person out" is just saying you think the man should pay lol but I agree, I think men should pay.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Millennial men are useless that's all I have to say.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I would always offer to pay, though I believe in a coffee date first date. You can tell within half hour if it's worth seeing some again.

Shiprex · Answer

It should be split or a minimum of two dates should be the new norm. One each to treat the other and it's either or for the first one

strateguy632 · Answer

3 dates pay for your order. 4th and on , split half.

Uglygaypoorcoward94 · Answer

The saying whoever asks is bs because we all know men ask. Do some women ask, yeah sure anythings possible but those men are a rare breed for a woman to khs for

DrPepper12 · Answer

First date should be so non drama that it's irrelevant.  I'm TELLING you, a bookstore with a cafe is the best way.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I pay for what I ordered unless he insists on paying everything.

Woody077 · Answer

If its a first time meet up I believe it should be split. If it works out and the guy or woman ask that person out on a second date he or she should pay. Or at least offer to. But other agreements can be made. There is no real rule anymore.

Jennz6 · Answer

This question has been asked and answered many times

convo_king89 · Answer

I think it’s assumed the guy pays for the drinks/food he expects something else in return later.

Wiredone · Answer

I've said this many times on here and my answer is still the same. The guy should always pay when out on a date

Manuelwe · Answer

It depends how good it goes. If we go back to her place for sex. Then me. If NOT go Dutch. Unless she is old. Then she pays

fuddly · Answer

Long established relationship, share the bills based on disposable income. Eg boyfriend might pay the rent. girlfriend pays for dinner.  New relationship, boyfriend should pay I think

MikeRJ · Answer

If the guy asks, he should pay. I can't imagine asking someone out and then telliing her to pay her own way. Talk about awkward!

TallAnon · Answer

I don't understand why we feel the need to make a rule for this; Just both be prepared to pay and go with the vibe. This isn't science.

robocop666 · Answer

Listen to Kezia at 3:45 she is earning a few hundred grand a year

MFM3WAY · Answer

As a man, I always would like to pay the first date.. after that if decided on more dates it is debatable on finances and what the goals are moving forward

monkeynutts · Answer

the woman, especially on steak and a blow job day.

LiamJHayden · Answer

The one who asks, but if that is someone's primary concern then it is starting out all wrong.

fish5505_87 · Answer

I would pay, that's just how I grew up, not right or wrong.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

For the first date, the man should always pay.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Personally I pay. Whatever someone else decides to do is their choice.

KatieK92 · Answer

I would always offer to pay for my half but if he insists I'm not complaining 🤣

Amur8711 · Answer

I feel if she asks me out I still would rather pay for my own meal.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

The man is always pay i guess I'm just traditional in that way

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

either the one who asked, or if both r okay with it, both

Abbycado · Answer

I split with both guys I dated.

biabyblue9 · Answer

yup, whoever asks out

Sonorous · Answer

Whichever picks da short straw

chrissykerdock · Answer

men pay because they will get blowjobs

dustybiker2 · Answer

At least offer. That's all it takes. Respect.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Always split bill always

Awantika03 · Answer

Guy should pay

MoonFace2 · Answer

Both should 😊

nawtee_me · Answer

I agree with you

wkhan_87 · Answer

I think guy should pay always

VyacheslavSokolov · Answer

I am not sure.

Who do you think should pay the bill on a date?

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