I let him back after he hurt me. Why don’t he say sorry? I learned I don’t matter. ?

[Sneirorkr]

What does it mean if I let a coworker who put me down and I cut him off before but now I let him small talk with me again now? I obviously can’t trust him but he’s very outgoing so he kept trying to chat with me again.

No apology. I realized I’m
Never getting an apology from
This man who hurt me so bad.

this taught me that I do not matter. My thoughts and feeling do not matter. I am a means to an end for him. What end I do not know.

[ohsheeT]

No you're looking at it all wrong totally wrong

The truth is is you do matter the truth is is that you have to love yourself enough to understand that and the truth is that this guy hurt you
And time went on so did the pain
And now he wants to come back into your life without an apology

So do you love yourself enough to just forgive him do you love yourself enough to say wait a minute no I don't have to give this guy time of day I don't care how nice he is it's b*******

If you bullshited you once he's going to b******* you again

You can kind of be a little Standish back if he's communicating with you you don't have to give him a smile you have to look at him like you hurt me and you have to make him realize something not that he just got away with it by being friendly again with him

But you have to love yourself enough to not put up with it and not let it go and whether it be just in your demeanor your coldness you have to do it even if he doesn't understand it because maybe someday he might and he'll ask you what's wrong and that's when you can say hey I still don't f****** forgive you for what you did you heard me and then you try to come back into my life without an apology

See that's who you have to be so you do matter you have to make yourself matter with every part of life not only this

[Dnjritot]

Thank you so much! I think I’ll be a bit srandoffish

[ohsheeT]

Yeah if you let him back in he's just going to end up doing it again he's going to think that he got away with something and that's just wrong

[Dnjritot]

He’s gross

[Summeroflove]

It means he needs to remain a coworker. Not a friend or romantic partner. A coworker. Be civil and professional and that’s all you’re required to do

[SueShe]

It simply means that you are a sucker. Sorry to be so blunt but if someone hurt you so bad and does not apologize, knowing he did hurt you and you communicate with him, that gives the totally wrong signal.

You indicate that it is okay to step all over you and to be mean with you because those know that you will not have the guts to speak up and to fight for yourself. You indicate that it is ok to be mean with you and that you have no force of character.

You should never have spoken to that guy, even if he is a co-worker until he apologizes to you.

[Jdurhrbd]

I fucked up. I am soft.

[SueShe]

@Jdurhrbd The problem is that you gave yourself a reputation as a softie with no backbone. It will be difficult for you to change that image that people have of you.

You can change but it will cost you courage to face the opinions of others.

[Jdurhrbd]

I thought people will protect and appreciate me for being this way but apparently that’s not reality. But I see what you mean…

[Nikki1989]

Ugh, the coworker stories are back again, but I will leave an opinion regardless.

By not acknowledging his past behavior, he's avoiding taking responsibility for the hurt he caused you.

[Avicenna]

He clearly wanted to be allowed crack without doing anything or making changes

[Jdirnrje]

He was allowed but what do you think of this? Im a softy I guess.

[Avicenna]

@Jdirnrje yes you are

[Jdirnrje]

Thanks. I guess I’m so soft and lonely at the same time. I wish he would apologize but I don’t get why he wants to be let back without saying sorry. Seems odd.

[Iron_Man]

You have to ask him

[Jdurhrbd]

Okay. I’m soft.

[Iron_Man]

@Jdurhrbd that’s good

[Jdurhrbd]

But he won’t apologize

[Iron_Man]

@Jdurhrbd tell him you’re upset

[Dnjritot]

Maybe if he asks