Guys, Why didn’t he just tell me the real reason?

[Anonymous]

we both come from cultures were we date to marry. Before our first daye we were chatting daily for almost 2 months before our date. During our date I asked him about his future goals and I told mine. I said I want to live in vertain country one day. He said that to live and work there you have to have very skilled worker (he has a regular job).

after our date he sent me long text saying that our futures don’t line up and for that reason we shoulnd’t see again. When I asked him what exact goal didn’t line up he didn’t want to tell me. After a year of not talking to each other he has viewed twice my instagram stories when he doesn’t even follow me.

[ohsheeT]

Well have you ever thought about he's just not ready to get married

If your cultures rules are that you date to be married. He could be very interested in you but did you ever think about it just not ready to be married he's not ready to go that direction yet in his life he has other things that he wants to do and explore the experience...
I mean there's a reason for it and whatever it is you have to accept it whether you know what it is or not

Ask yourself this so if you started dating him you would probably think that he was the one that you were going to get married right

Well you might have pushed that a little bit too much and he might not just be ready for it yet there's other things in life that he wants to do and explore

You could think of all different scenarios in your head but why do that you're just driving yourself crazy there are a billion guys out there that would love to date you probably so explore and experience

And be positive smile so you glow you never know he might find out that you're dating seeing some guy and it might make him think a little bit deeper about the whole thing so don't ever give up just don't ever stop doing whatever it is you like to do just because of him

[Asker]

I asked him what life goals didn’t align and he replied ”just in general level they don’t align”.
What that suppose to mean..

[Asker]

Also why ask me how many kids I want if he didn’t want to get married?

[ohsheeT]

Yeah maybe he was just seeing exactly how many you wanted maybe he doesn't want any. . When he was talking you should have been looking so deep into his eyes because they would have told you everything. . but I feel really bad for you because I could feel your heart broken because you actually thought that there was something going to happen there and I feel bad for you for that so what now I mean what's your plans are you just going to let it go and then see if he comes back or what

[Asker]

He actually told me before our date he wants bug family like 6 kids. Also during our date he couldn’t even look in to my eyes. I don't know what that means…

[ohsheeT]

Yeah that is kind of weird I mean because when I'm talking to somebody and talking to you that serious I mean he has to look deep into your eyes I mean that's crazy yeah I don't understand that at all

[Asker]

If he was so nervous that he couldn’t hold eye contact at all is it sign of attraction or something else?

[ohsheeT]

No when the guys attracted to you he's going to look deep into your eyes I mean so deep it's unreal

[ohsheeT]

So was this date pre arranged for you to or did he ask you out

[Asker]

Not all guys are confident. He asked me out on instagram

[ohsheeT]

I mean with the life goals thing he basically was saying that he's just not interested but I'm curious why and how many kids did he say that he wanted and how many did you say you wanted

[Asker]

Long after the date I’ve seem him public and one time he stared in to my eyes

[ohsheeT]

Yeah that's true not all guys are confident but with that answer they just don't align I mean that's what he's saying he's saying sorry but it's just not meant to be basically which that's what I'm curious about because I think you're probably a sweetheart you have a very good heart is what it sounds like to me when you guys. Talk were you aggressive in any way you know I'm saying what you wanted

[ohsheeT]

When you're on your date did he hold your hand or anything hug you

[Asker]

He actually in his long text said that I’m good hearted and that it has very nice to talk to me. He wished me all the best. Also he said I’m sure you’ll meet someone more suitable soon

[ohsheeT]

Yeah see that's what I mean he basically is telling you that he's not interested but I mean I can feel I can feel your heart I can feel you but I'm still curious

[Asker]

During our date I told him that I wanted to get my masters and get better job. I also told him I wanted to move to another country within 10 years. Maybe he thought I’m to career driven! During our date he asked would I work or stay at home if I had kids. Before our date I told him I wanted like 4 kids

[Asker]

So basically he just wasn’t attracted to me?

[ohsheeT]

I mean that's what it kind of sounds to me but I love like I said I listen to your words and I can feel your heart I can feel your attention and I don't know there's something that just doesn't make sense I guess

[Asker]

What doesn’t make sense?

[ohsheeT]

Well like I said I can feel your energy I can feel your words and I mean everything that I have read I can just feel your heart and you have a very beautiful heart you're very kind you're very sweet and your chill you're sweet so I don't understand I guess you just wasn't interested I guess that's the only thing it can be cuz everything I read coming up with you I mean I feel that he should have been but we're two different people

[MisterWack]

He doesn’t owe you an explanation, he voiced that your two lines of the future don’t line up and you should just accept that you don’t align for better or worse. You’ve been rejected and it sucks ass, I remember when I was rejected and she didn’t give me the reason though I moved on & accepted it wasn’t meant to be after 7 months of grief.

Heartbreak is a fool’s game and an emotional burden though it is what it is, when all is said and done he doesn’t want to be with you & that’s all.

I wouldn’t view my ex’s instagram stories, but to each their own ig. He’s just weird and you should be doing your own thing.

[MisterWack]

*You are worthy of love and you’ll find someone who shares your goals & needs and who loves you for you just as you would for him, this idiot messed up & made a big mistake though it isn’t your mistake so pull yourself together and find someone that will be a perfect match because you deserve the best. God Bless You!

[Asker]

I asked him what life goals didn’t align and he replied ”just in general level they don’t align”.
What that suppose to mean..

[MisterWack]

He said they don’t align, don’t get it twisted.
I admire that he confessed they don’t align and frankly that is all you needed to hear “we are through because we don’t align”, so it doesn’t align.
You’ll find someone who actually cares about you, don’t focus on that weirdo.

[Asker]

So you think his reason was genuine?

[MisterWack]

Well yeah! There is no legitimate reason to lie here like I’d say “sorry we don’t align” if I wanted to keep it short n straight to the point. Like I said he doesn’t owe an explanation that is good enough for you to leave, it is a “I’m breaking up, nothing personal. Just don’t see eye to eye”. I’d just admire his honesty and transparency. I’d rather a girl who dumps me rather than stringing me along knowing damn well it isn’t going to workout. Just my opinion though…

[Asker]

So you think the real reason was different life goals?

[MisterWack]

Yeah, and that is a good thing he told you.
I don’t think you’d like to go “My goals are x y z” and he strings you along going “Oh yeah I love those goals”… He cut it off when it wasn’t going to work.

[Asker]

by the way why did he view my instagram stories when he’s not even follow me in instagram anymore (he viewed my stories a year after no contact which is weird)

[MisterWack]

Just out of curiosity ig or a friend sent him a link. Couldn’t tell ya since I’m not a mind reader.

[AviatorTom]

What else do you want him to say? Per your post, he told you... "he sent me long text saying that our futures don’t line up and for that reason we shoulnd’t see again"

[Asker]

I asked him what life goals didn’t align and he replied ”just in general level they don’t align”.
What that suppose to mean..

[MysteriousDarkness]

After our date he sent me long text saying that our futures don’t line up and for that reason we shoulnd’t see again. It has been over a yeah since you have talked to each other so why are you still worried about what life goals don't line up? What are you hoping to get out of questioning what he meant when it has been over a year?

[Asker]

Because I’ve noticed that he has viewed my instagram stories twice when he’s not even following me on instagram anymore (he viewed my stories a year after no contact which is weird)

[MysteriousDarkness]

You are wasting your time and energy on this at this point.

[Asker]

I feel like that proves that he’s still thinking about me

[MysteriousDarkness]

It's your prerogative if you want to continue on about it but I still believe it's a waste of time.

[Asker]

There’s another thing I’ve been thinking about. he couldn’t look in to my eyes at all during the date. I don't know did I really make him that nervous. He looked at me initially when I walked in but then couldn’t hold eye contact at all

[MysteriousDarkness]

It doesn't matter if he was nervous or not since the date was over a year ago and he said that you two shouldn't see each other again. If he truly wanted you he would contact you.

[RingOfFire]

I think the best thing for you is to forget about it and move on. What difference does it make whether you know his reason or not? It's not going to change anything. Whatever his reason was is his point of view. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. Sometimes relationships just aren't meant to be and you have to get on with your life. This sounds like one of those times to me. Don't stress about it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you're argumentative. He sensed that he wouldn't be able to get it out uninterrupted.

It could also be that it was just easier. Why do a lot of women flirt with guys then reject them? They could say, "hey I just wanted you attention, not actually date you". Well duh? Because no one likes having thier time wasted

Why worry about it. If a person does this to you, (man or woman) it's THIER issue, not yours.

[Asker]

I asked him what life goals didn’t align and he replied ”just in general level they don’t align”.
What that suppose to mean..

[ErikSummer]

He was not enough attracted to you. He is just making up a generic reason to protect your feelings and to stay polite.
The reasons are not under his control. It could be related to how similar you are to his mother or not, for example, at a subconscious level. With the next guy the same mechanisms can work in your favor.

[Asker]

If he’s not attracted to me why did he view my instagram stories when he’s not even follow me in instagram anymore (he viewed my stories a year after no contact which is weird)

[ErikSummer]

While you were chatting for two months he somehow imagined you differently and it is difficult for him to let go of this fantasy.
Honestly, it sounds like the classical case of building up great expectations online before the first meeting but then the magic does not happen in presence.
Maybe you even touched on your life plans while chatting for two months? There cannot suddenly have been such a surprise about those plans.

[Asker]

There was differences in our future plans so it would been legit reason to break things off. But what is weird that he couldn’g look in to my eyes at all during the date. I don't know did I really make him that nervous…

[slatyb]

Why do you care? What difference would it make? If he was local, why did you wait two months before meeting? That's about two months too long.

[Asker]

He was hinting at hanging out right from the beginning. 3 weeks after we started talking I went away for a trip and that delayed our meeting

[Unit1]

Like @Wise4myage has said: Beats me, he should have explained himself.

Take it as it is and move on.

[RHK36]

I didn't read all that. It's silly you want transparency from someone while asking anonymously. It already tells me you're bad at communicating and probably the reason why someone can't keep it real with you.

[HungTexan]

I wouldn’t even waste time thinking about him. Move on.

[Asker]

Why? He actually seemed like a nice guy :/

[HungTexan]

He’s not responsive, there’s a reason he won’t share, and there are other fish in the sea.

[Asker]

So you think our life goals not aligning was a lie? Why

[HungTexan]

I don’t know why, but apparently he thinks that’s the case. Ask him if you like, directy — and see what he says!

[Asker]

I asked him what life goals didn’t align and he replied ”just in general level they don’t align”.
What that suppose to mean..

[HungTexan]

It means he may have other reasons, but he isn’t willing to discuss it with you.

[Asker]

So he wasn’t attracted to me? If that’s the case when I’ve seen him in public he stared at me with serious look. Also he has viewed my instagram stories when he doesn’t even follow me :/

[Wise4myage]

He’s a jerk off, be glad you’re rid of him.

[Asker]

Why do you think so?

[Wise4myage]

Because he left you hanging.

[Asker]

I asked him what life goals didn’t align and he replied ”just in general level they don’t align”.
What that suppose to mean..

[Wise4myage]

Beats me, he should have explained himself.