Had an argument about his little sister and he wants to break up?

[Anonymous]

his sister is adopted and is quite young, 13-14 years old and I understand that she is very young but the fact is that when i said hello or offered her goods like cake or cookies she would just say i hate this or that or just shows that she doesn’t want to sit next to me. each time iv met her behavior remained the same. i felt that the child was too stubborn.

so my partner texted me and told me its her birthday but i ignored his text and i felt triggered cause i know if i wish her a happy birthday she is just gonna say she hates me to my face or something

i didn’t even talk to him how i feel about it and i told please just dont talk to me anymore cause i feel he wouldn’t even consider it as anything.

its not that i want him to take my side but i just wanted him to kinda understand how it kinda makes me feel and how it looks when she behaved like that infront of everyone else.

he was kinda turned off by my blunt text and that i didn’t want to talk to him and he says lets break up but then asks what he did and how can he fix it etc etc

[ohsheeT]

Well to be honest with you you were just as wrong as he was she's at the young age like you said she's adopted like you said can you imagine the things going through her head her heart her soul her mind her spirit you're the adult just because she's treating you in a way that you do not like because you're better than that get off your high horse you need to understand her allow her to be herself allow her to feel what she feels and when you do that she will look at you and thank you because you're still standing right there you didn't run away you didn't hide you didn't become another person you allowed her to be herself and mean just to see just to push you away because that's what she wanted to see how strong were you how strong are you you're not strong at all you should have allowed her to do anything she wanted and you should have said happy birthday and then you should have gave her a gift it could have been a necklace that says I love you. With a hard on it to the one I love anything anything or anything you good because you were making it all about yourself instead of her so I'll look at it like this this is your learning experience for now on you have to understand who she is and stop making s*** up about you it's not about you it's about a little girl it has lost everything for some reason and was adopted into a family for another reason and maybe is not even being shown real love in that family so it's up to you and outsider looking in to watch and learning find out what's really going on and then create something to wear she feels wanted he feels love and I guarantee it before she shows any of that to you she's going to make you run for she's going to push every button just to see how strong you are come on man

[Asker]

thats really long…. i couldn’t read all that

[ohsheeT]

That's not that big of a deal basically what it says is that you were probably wrong for a girl to have gone through whatever she's gone through and did abandoned or whatever so she's probably was just testing you to see if you were going to stick around in her life to see how you were going to be

If that was the case I'm sure she does it with everybody but I mean it's a learning experience for her it's a learning experience for you and your boyfriend so... Some day just put yourself in her shoes..
And try to become or try to feel what she's had to go through and what it would make you feel like

[Asker]

im physically disabled and my right arm is disformed looking. I never complained or insulted anyone even as a child, iv even been discriminated for it when i was a kid and even growing up. i can't see what her problems are like that.

[ohsheeT]

Well that's what I mean since you've been through what you've been through and if she's adopted it has no family how many times has she been to Foster Care homes I'm not trying to make a competition out of it I'm just trying to say think a little bit further on how you felt or how you feel when something isn't going right or all you wanted to do is be loved and people walk out of your life that's all I'm saying and it would seem like you're the perfect person to be in her life and I I think I said this in the very beginning that's why you're there you are the teacher you are the for the whole family if the boyfriend tells you to pack your bags or whatever it's going to be their loss it's going to be that girl's loss

Look you're right you have to do what you have to do too that's for sure and if it's a teaching moment for her then teach

When bad people come into our lives when bad things happen to us there it's meant to happen that way because that's God given us those people to show us where we have to change there's two sides to everything you can't have success without failure it's the same thing in a relationship or anything bad that happens to you you can't find the good without learning and living with the bad first
I'm not saying you did anything wrong what I'm saying is that you could have probably done a lot of things different.
She came into your life for a reason and if you don't like her or if you think she's a brat well guess what that's why she's there to show you where you have to change and vice versa for her everything's two-sided you can't have one without the other you can't live and experience until you live and experience..
And just because you were treated a certain way

[ohsheeT]

Well that's what I mean since you've been through what you've been through and if she's adopted it has no family how many times has she been to Foster Care homes I'm not trying to make a competition out of it I'm just trying to say think a little bit further on how you felt or how you feel when something isn't going right or all you wanted to do is be loved and people walk out of your life that's all I'm saying and it would seem like you're the perfect person to be in her life and I I think I said this in the very beginning that's why you're there you are the teacher you are the for the whole family if the boyfriend tells you to pack your bags or whatever it's going to be their loss it's going to be that girl's loss

Look you're right you have to do what you have to do too that's for sure and if it's a teaching moment for her then teach

When bad people come into our l doesn't mean that you have to treat her in that same way that you were treated and if you do well it is what it is you'll have to go back around and do it again and say the same with her until you both get it right it's okay to be nice it's okay to let your guard down it's okay to kiss ass if that's what you have to do to get them to understand something and vice versa

[ohsheeT]

doesn't mean that you have to treat her in that same way that you were you do well it Well that's what I mean since you've been through what you've been through and if she's adopted it has no family how many times has she been to Foster Care homes I'm not trying to make a competition out of it I'm just trying to say think a little bit further on how you felt or how you feel when something isn't going right or all you wanted to do is be loved and people walk out of your life that's all I'm saying and it would seem like around and do it again and say the same with her until you both get it right it's okay to be nice it's okay to let your guard down it's okay to kiss ass if that's what you have to do to get them to understand something and vice versa

[Nik1hil]

Talk to his sister , only in front of him..

Show him how his sister mistreats you..

If you talk to his sister alone, you have no Proof..

And if in Front of him his Sister misbehaves , he will take your side. But if his Sister behaves, in front of him, you will know she is Diabolical and you need to avoid being alone with her..

Right now you can start with an Apology but don't mean it, a Fake apology to buy you a chance to Test his Sister!..

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Jesus christ, you have really shit communication skills. He tells you “Hey, it’s my sister’s b-day jsyk” and your response is a cold “Don’t talk to me anymore” no shit he assumes you want to break up! That’s a HORRENDOUS way to say what you want! You can’t seriously be surprised this isn’t going the way you want it to go.

[Flower7]

He shouldn’t be letting his sister disrespect you. That makes it seem like he has a lack of respect for you also. Might as well break up, I guess. Because she isn’t going anywhere.

[molonski2]

Your response was very poor and unreasonable , cut the kid some slack ..

I'm afraid your now ( ex ) partner is completely correct , you have possibly the worst communication skills , horrendous actions.

[Valdemort]

You're on G@G asking opinions when you could ask your boyfriend. Please... communicate with him like an adult and talk about it.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I think as an adult you should confront his sister and ask why she hates you, it will either lead to a conversation or the confrontation would scare her completely and she might stop.

[Yohenis]

Understand the reason why he wants to break up with you silly goose

[In_Trance]

So what's your question