Why is it so hard for people to ask each other out?

Question

Cormac995 · Accepted Answer

It's emotionally difficult and exhausting and getting rejected stings for days.

Alex-Snow · Accepted Answer

I don't have any issue asking someone out. Some people are shy or nervous.

DishLady · Answer

I don't think it IS particularly challenging to ask a person out, so long as you know the person. Just walking up to a complete stranger might pose a challenge because you don't know each other... and perhaps the person is with friends or whatever. But if you know one another even just a little it's not that complicated. Just ask. Worst thing that can happen is the person says "no".

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Because years of developing a strong ability to text does nothing to develop social skills.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I think it's mostly because you never know what other weird shit you're stirring up or uncovering by asking. And most people don't have the social skills to handle situations like that well. Sometimes the expense, effort, implications of asking the person out can also be prohibitive.

I'll give you a prime example from my own life. I've been getting closer with a lady I met through my church about a year ago. Even though I'm 32 and she's 29, I know that this woman isn't very mature or experienced with men. I also know that because of her life situation, she's not really in a place to be forming romantic entanglements just yet. She's always been sweet to me, and I've been sweet to her; she's also a bit distant.

All of the above is to say that even though I'm not in any rush, I also don't like standing still.

There's another 2 ladies who have caught my eye in the same group, so I asked the 1 for her phone number. I didn't even ask her on a date; just her phone number. Her response was to freeze up, run off, and tell the girl I've been getting closer to. Something I wasn't necessarily expecting, but it didn't surprise me. Now suddenly the main girl is more flirty

By asking this other woman for her phone number, I violated some territorial agreement between the ladies of that group.

Orion84 · Answer

Presumably a lack of self confidence, combined with a fear of rejection.

Nobody likes putting themselves out there, only to be shot down. Especially because you always hear horror stories about how people get rejected.

Some people just don't want to be embarrassed, so they're afraid to try.

Spencer10 · Answer

Well in my opinion it comes down to the fear of rejection... who like that? The way i look at it is she really does not know me so getting rejected does not mean that much. Plus she may have all kinds of reasons to say no. No being rejected by someone who does know you? That hurts.

incorrected · Answer

Because there's no rules to how things are supposed to work anymore. Nasty rejections, the potential for accusations or other negative repercussions in a lot of settings. Too much perceived risk for men, and women haven't got the balls to ask even without the risks men face. Women fear rejection. Men fear reprisals AND rejection, in short.

danielle872024 · Answer

Rejection, nervous, past relationships failed , self conscious. Best to just be yourself take the dive allow it to run it’s course it either fails or go further. To those who is rejecting the other that does ask please don’t be such a ass when you do...

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I never have the chance.
Any time I've thought to myself "maybe this girl is a match?", it takes me years as just friends to determine that, and within weeks she's already hitting on me, and its just too soon, too many unknowns to even begin to respond in any way I'd be certain about.
The speed at which most people progress relationships, is so prone to picking the wrong person, that its disgusting.

Massageman · Answer

Fears, typically of rejection.

I found out that it happened to me at my 50th HS reunion. There was gal that I really would liked to have dated, and at the reunion we re-met and she said she had hoped that I would have asked her out. c'est la vie

Zack-Bann · Answer

Ego People tie their desirability to their ego and the fear of rejection can shatter that internal image of being desirable  So they would rather not find out.

Pohjolan · Answer

I guess it's in part the current social shift. What used to be acceptable is no longer and a new status quo hasn't been established.

Perhaps the green bracelets used in some clubs will become mainstream to signal being single and open to being approached within the next 100 years.

emeraldsaphire · Answer

Fear or rejection. Thankfully I've never had to ask, but I feel bad for all the guys who have too. It's gotta be soul crushing if you get turned down

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Nowadays unless there is an app that does it for you people are too chicken to do it themselves. Good thing I didn’t download the app & I’m not afraid to ask someone out.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I’m ugly, short, and geeky, so no woman wants to ask me out. I don’t always want to ask because it’s almost ALWAYS gone badly. If I ask, it’s just going to hurt. If I show any interest, it’s just going to hurt. No thanks.

Luopio27 · Answer

Sometimes all people want is a moment to have sex, no past, future, just the moment to enjoy each others bodies!

Asking for a one night stand ain't in the mainstream culture, unlike asking someone on a date!

HungTexan · Answer

I don’t know. It was always easy for me. I think too much social media, and not enough in-person communication is part of the problem.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Lack of confidence and motivation.

_Autumn_ · Answer

If they knew the answer would be positive, they wouldn’t hesitate. It’s just that rejection feels harsh to people and lowers their confidence. That’s why they avoid doing it.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Rejection and fear of repeated past experiences. It’s not worth it anymore. Politics apparently plays a role in finding a partner now too. Best to stay single and embrace it.

coolbreeze · Answer

Social media destroyed how people use to talk and ask each other out.

BMW_888 · Answer

This generation especially rely on dating apps, within your circle of friends or expecting the other person to ask them out.

Likes2drive · Answer

I think because of the possibility of rejection, which is usually more likely than getting accepted hurts for a while our ego and creates insecurities in ourselves for some time

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Because people don't like rejection and fear being mocked like in the movies

oldpigg · Answer

It's not difficult, I'm not interested at all.

Anonymous · Answer

Because some people are scared of being rejected and cannot emotionally handle being rejected.

biraileeşkadını · Answer

"Because of the fear that they might not love me as much as I love them."

zagor · Answer

Fear of rejection. And for people who are friends/acquaintances/co-workers, fear of making it weird if things don't work out.

IFdyourmom1 · Answer

Because it depends on why they're asking people out. If it's just for "boredom", then I get it, but, if you really do feel like they're the one, that can be quite intimidating

TheStaleMarshmellow · Answer

I was accused of stalking from just looking in a general direction

MikeTheGreek1979 · Answer

Cause stories when a guy approaches a woman then is accused of Harassment. I don't know about you I don’t need that.

red324 · Answer

Every girl I ever ask already has a boyfriend. Or at least claims she does.

scott04sa22 · Answer

The person I'm seeing i didn't have to ask her out. It just happened on its owned

Djaay · Answer

These days with these women now days.. sh... not interested.

RossyBoi · Answer

It's very easy but ultimately a complete waste of time.

kaucky1 · Answer

Too many distractions or interruptions so if by selves just do it

Anonymous · Answer

due to fear of rejection. That's why I can't declare my love to any girl.

Unlucky_ · Answer

Because people are weird and awkward then there's the fear of rejection and the fear of what others might think depending on your age

Anonymous · Answer

Back in the day fear of rejection, nowadays fear of harassment allegations.

Anonymous · Answer

nobody ever knows what they want whether with somebody or themselves

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it's cause of the lack of self-confidence.

Anonymous · Answer

and asking someone out, why do i get the feeling for all eternity, that will always be on mens shoulders

Anonymous · Answer

Because the State of Affairs dictates that men are the ones who have to ask the woman out

Flower7 · Answer

Because rejection is embarrassing.

gemb00 · Answer

Fear of rejection, mostly.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

They're afraid of rejection.

linka_pat307 · Answer

The fear of rejection

Anonymous · Answer

how would you react if a man asked you out?

Iron_Man · Answer

Fear of being shut down being rejected

Babygirl_S · Answer

Ego or shyness

Nerdvana · Answer

Because the answer is always no.

Vegasrunner · Answer

How many people do you ask out?

12karen · Answer

They aren't confident enough

grega239 · Answer

No point in asking

MikeRJ · Answer

They are afraid of rejection.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Fear of rejection.

KhloeKat · Answer

I think the guy should ask

jahaims · Answer

Lack of confidence

ienjoylookingatgreen · Answer

weak mind

Lokiion · Answer

It’s not

moneymagnet24 · Answer

Because you're ugly

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