Do you have a low confidence?

Question

I do have incredibly low. Always find something to criticize myself about and never defend myself because I always believed I was wrong… Working to change that through therapy now. Something interesting happened yesterday, I missed my friend who moved back to LA from China 5 years ago and we lost touch with each other, he was my best friend at 22 and he was gay. He was the best guy friend I could wish for second next to another one I had and who also moved back to Britain recently. So I have been losing friends because where I live is a temporary hub for many people…

Yeaterday, I looked up my friend on Instagram and I was shocked to see my photo on his thumbnail where he said “My friend, looking fabulous.” - I was shocked because firstly, I just think it’s a good photo and I am not that fabulous, but seeing that he was thinking of me and even posting my photo on his thumbnail - and he was proud of me enough to show me off - I kind of felt like - maybe I keep underestimating myself and I shouldn’t have that low of a self confidence, because I seem to be leaving lasting impressions on people I’ve met and got close to, even years ago.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

We are our thoughts each and every one of our thoughts

If you don't have that confidence it's going to show in your face your heart your mind your body your soul your spirit and that's where you going to put yourself

If you have the thought of confidence because you believe in yourself you love yourself you're happy you can smile then that's who you're going to become we are our thoughts

Have you ever been thinking of something out of the blue and all the sudden it happens or the person shows up that's how powerful our thoughts are

I don't even know you but I believe in you I have answered many of your questions I can feel your thoughts I feel the positive within you and your thoughts your thoughts are a motivation in many ways for a lot of people

It's our choice who we want to become in life by the things we say and do..

If our thoughts are negative towards ourselves that's who we become if our thoughts are positive towards ourselves that's who we become you just have to have the confidence to believe in yourself once again and I truly don't know why you don't but something must have happened from the time you are on here till now you disappeared for a while you're back something must have happened to bring yourself down a little bit snap out of it do you know you will

You truly know who you are and who you want to be I've never ever heard you have low confidence and I'm glad you just said do I just have a low confidence right now it kind of seems like it but you know you're going to snap out of it just like I know you're going to snap out of it and you know yourself better than I know you

So today just smile put one foot in front of the other and with every step allow that confidence to come back because it has never left you and there's no reason to doubt yourself that will just hold you back a little bit more but no matter what it is you're going to make it through it you always do we always do because the journey that we went through to let that low confidence come into play it's just a learning experience learn from it and move on get your confidence your groove back you know you're going to smile One foot in front of the other have a beautiful day

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

At times I do , but that’s something I been working on myself and trying to figure out , why I am seeing a therapist as well. Most low self esteem and lack of confidence stems down from childhood , or past trauma’s that we experienced in our lives , not realizing it impacted us when really it did. So something traumatizing might of happened to you , that you overlooked or that you possibly buried away deep down inside yourself that is causing you to feel the way that you do. My issues stem down from childhood because i was molested by an older woman at the age of 9 to the age 11 , I didn’t think it impacted me but apparently it did not realizing it did for all these years. I recently read an article on being molested as a young boy by an older woman and the article shockingly knew my whole life and I honestly felt like I was reading a documentary on my life because everything I read matched me perfectly. Why I am now seeing a therapist after all these years that specializes in trauma. Before I read that article I always questioned myself why I am not like the average typical guy when it comes to girls’ and relationships , why I can’t just have sex with a girl for the hell of it like a lot of guys’ can do. Even though girls’ tell me it’s a great thing that I am not like the typical guy but i always questioned why , and now I am finally seeing why. Hopefully your therapist can help you with your confidence as well

marfaret · Accepted Answer

in fact not only aren't I a low confidence person, but I'm also perfectionist too. I always expect myself to be top and best, who never makes a mistake and whenever I mistake, I criticize myself and destroy my own personality. also in my relationships, whenever it goes to fall apart, I think I'm wrong and it's my fault that I lose my friends. So, yes, I surely understand what u mean. my parents won't let me to go to therapist they told me that I'm not crazy and I don't need therapist. any recommendations?

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Nope. Even when I don’t feel 100% about myself I know how I’ve comported myself in the past… I know I’m a good and valuable person… and that just carries me through the low points so I can bounce back.

lucas262 · Answer

Honestly I do. I don't think I'm particularly bad looking, I go to the gym, I'm not exactly shy. I honestly cannot understand why anyone would pick me. I had a vivid dream once a woman looked it me, like into my soul and told me she loved me. And I just stared, looked around and asked why? Iv been having recurring dreams lately the last one brought up feelings I had as a kid of being rejected by all my crushes.

I know a few times in my early 20s I walked away from potential dates. I think one thing in particular that keeps me away is childhood trauma, I feel alienated from people. Like iv Nothing in common and personal relationships, family, friends or romantic are very hard for me, so I cannot imagine someone wanting me and if they did I couldn't relate to them. I can think of 2 girls that liked me and they where 10 or 15 years apart. I'm a delivery guy so I meet hundreds of women monthly, I just get thus overwhelming sense that something about me puts them off, like everyone sees something I don't, so I don't even bother, my friends and family worry about me, but how could I explain these things? No amount of gym or money I earn will make this feeling go away.

dragoblack · Answer

I have confidence... just not when it comes to romance. From kindergarten through graduation, i never once got a valentine card or chocolate, and every confession i made was rejected. After graduation my luck with romance continued to be abysmal and depressing with my only options being online dating, because offline those i found attraction in, didn't see me as anything other than "like a brother", were already in a relationship, had no attraction to me whatsoever, turned out to be lesbian, assumed the worst of me, literally got up a
& walked off mid-conversation, thought i was "too nice of a person", turned out to be underaged while having the physical appearance of late 20s (which i didn't go for for obvious reasons), or turned out to be incredibly toxic as a person. Meanwhile the ones who were interested in me romantically were women i didn't find attractive at all, had major toxic habits, and/or were dinka desperate".
My online experience wasn't much better, with a majorty being solicitation, scams, one word replies, ghosting from match never saying a word or replying, ridiculous algorithms, and only getting matches once every 3 months and an actual conversation every 6 to 7 months and lucky to even get a date once every 2 to 3 years... if even.
Women are quick to ghost and struggle to even have a genuine conversation... IT MAKES NO SENSE! How are you supposed to find romance if you don't conversate and push past the slightly awkward moments?
Most of the people around where i live get into relationships via a hookup/one-night-stand.. then they wonder how they ended up with such an abusive person...

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I have an inner, and an outer confidence.

I do doubt myself here and there. Not because of the expectations of others, but for my own expectations towards myself.

And ''outside'' - I am aware of my skills and talents. I happen to live (and work) in an environment where my quality somehow can't be scratched.

Those who try will waste their time.

Those who know will have my loyalty.

As for ''defending'' ourselves... there isn't any need to. Most ''attacks'' are either out of some 'situation', or simply because someone else can't keep up - and knows it.

''Therapy'' ? ... Don't waste your time. Just get a dog or a cat and ask them about your value :)

Shiprex · Answer

That's a charming story about your friend keeping something between you as a lasting memory.

I don't think I lack confidence but the context has to be clear. I am usually willing to try anything except when it involves harming innocents. Like I would jump out of a plane again with a parachute, have little fear about diving from boards (though underwater has still got some issues with dark spaces when I don't have a light and am rushed) riding motorcycles and bicycles in tricky situations aren't an issue either but that's more about my physicality and confidence in my capabilities. You may be asking about interpersonal relationships instead

exitseven · Answer

I am sort of surprised at this. You have travelled overseas for anew job. That takes confidence. You broke your leg and came back from it, That took confidence. Do not sell yourself short.

Staximus · Answer

That depends on what I'm doing. Fighting 2 drunk 300 pound cholos? No problem. Talking to a beautiful woman? My brain👇

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Yup...100%... it all started with the way the kids treated me in kindergarten when I was 6 years old, and my confidence has been extremely low ever since.

The only time I remember ever being confident was before kindergarten when I was like 5 and younger, though I'm not sure if it was more confidence or just not giving a fuck about anything, lol. But I barely remember anything before kindergarten anyway.

Ironic_Method · Answer

No. My confidence comes from Mr and one other person. I don't care about people's opinions enough to affect how I feel about me, for better or for worse.

Rockey_the_bicker · Answer

You have to change your thinking, otherwise you can't enjoy the life

lightbulb27 · Answer

Maybe you are critical because in your teens thats what you got?

At times was low. I aim to be humble, there’s a lotbi dint know amd could improve so my eyes are open but i am not critical of myself. I learned to let go perfectionism.

SleepingHazard · Answer

I have confidence. Sometimes it's up to my neck. Sometimes it's below my knees. @circushowcowboy where does your confidence go when it's low? What's considered high, from your POV?

Valdemort · Answer

What others think of me, I don't really care about. What I think of me fucks with my head more than I care to admit.

Anonymous · Answer

About the way I look yes. My self esteem has always been low. I can remember feeling insecure about the way I look since a very young age. Like even at the age of 6 I can remember feeling insecure about my large head size and my chubby cheeks

Sonorous · Answer

I'm relatively as confident as any finite being in a universe so dangerous that it will inevitably kill him.

chrissykerdock · Answer

when i started giving blowjobs my confidence improved a lot of girls made fun of me but boys always made me feel good about myself

DryGermanGuy · Answer

„Confidence is high, I repeat, confidence is high. This is not an exercise.“  - NORAD, WarGames

BCRanger10 · Answer

Not really. I did at one point in my life though.

HungTexan · Answer

I have always had high personal esteem. Think highly of yourself. You’ll be happier.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

No, pretty high but not arrogant. What aspect of yourself would you change if you could?

Manwomanmythmale · Answer

I used to, but then I stopped giving people power over my thoughts.

Anonymous · Answer

That inner voice you're listening to. It can be your worst nightmare or the best friend you'll ever have. From beginning to end. Always work towards the latter.

Professor-college · Answer

I used to have a low self-esteem when I was much younger but not anymore I realized that you have to keep moving forward and sometimes you're bound to make mistakes that doesn't mean that you're not progressing

Uglygaypoorcoward94 · Answer

You dont have low self esteem, you're self obsessed

Ladsin2 · Answer

Meh. Mid confidence. Low with women. High against other men. Upper mid professionally. Upper mid physically. Low socially.

Jay-_- · Answer

Yea I do, I was an ugly fat kid, and I still feel like it sometimes. 😂

Lokiion · Answer

Nah even on days I don’t feel 100% my confidence is always with me.

msc545 · Answer

I have very high professional self-confidence, and low personal self-confidence.

bornNerd · Answer

Self confidence is very important and I learnt this hard way actually

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, that's obviously one of several reasons why I'm still single and a virgin.

lilBigPotato · Answer

I have normal confidence I think

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’m more self confident than I used to be

ienjoylookingatgreen · Answer

Nah always up never down

PeterLegg91 · Answer

I do have low confidence, but im getting better

anmari2001 · Answer

Yes kill me

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Why is your self confidence low your gorgeous

maryannew · Answer

Nope I don't.

Rena90 · Answer

I used to as a teenager with my height.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope

dudeinohio · Answer

Yes i do

lanarosine · Answer

Yes I have sometimes

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, unfortunately.

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