I've always had very low confidence?

Question

How do you know if you're ugly? For security reasons, I'm not gonna put my picture on the internet, but hopefully you can still help

I've always had very low confidence and I never thought I was attractive. Basically when anyone compliments me in the back of my head I think they're trying to be funny/mean or they are just saying so because they feel sorry for me. Sometimes my friends call me pretty when I don't even ask them but I think they are just trying to be nice too. I don't get a lot of attention from guys and when I was younger a lot of guys thought I was ugly so I think I probably still am.

Some times random older women tell me I'm pretty but idk if they're saying that b/c they feel sorry for me or what. I wonder that if I'm so "pretty" then how come guys don't like me. I know my lack of self esteem has a little to do with it, but so many guys don't care about a girl's personality and just want her for one thing, so if I can't even attract THOSE kind of guys that must mean I'm not attractive right?

Can you tell by reading this if I'm ugly or not? please be brutally honest, I just wanna know how bad I am to begin with. hope this doesn't sound weird or like I am trying to be "conceded" or anything b/c I'm the complete opposite!

The-Nash · Accepted Answer

Now I'm just trying to give constructive criticism-

Where you wrote you're not trying to be conceited; and also the low confidence, it also seems like you're not accepting of the fact of taking these compliments. From reading this it seems like you've built a barrier from receiving these types of compliments, and it's mostly in your mind. Do you have flaw's that you concentrate on fixing and can't get past? or anything like that so as to where you receive a compliment you say to yourself "that can't be true they're just being a wise guy."

It kind of sounds like when you receive a compliment, if you were more accepting and had the attitude like "well now I like hearing that I look good or my hair looks good because I put some effort into making it look good!" That's just an example to think in your mind instead of being like "this person is lying about what they said about my hair, or whatever."

Also, sometimes there are girls who are pretty, but the only time I see them is with their friends and they are in a group and I don't want to just walk up to them. The group situation is a little difficult to deal with when that's the only chance a guy has. So he doesn't always act in trying to get to know a girl that way. If your around like 1 friend or so that's a little easier to handle but a group of three of more might make some guys think about it and not act on it.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder - someone can go and look at Piccaso's paintings and say "wow these are gorgeous!" and the next person might say "Oh man, I should of went to the museum of history instead of the museum of art; these paintings don't hold my interest!" And this is because of personal preference and what people see as beauty.

And like we all have strengths and weaknesses; it's just, the people like Ted Dansen (I know old school here, Sam Malone from the tv show "Cheers" and John Becker from "Becker"); well, they know how to hide their flaws really good!

What if I was to tell you that Ted Danson famously was balding from a young age and wore a wig in many of his roles, a fact that was worked into a storyline on "Cheers" where he removed his hair piece on camera.

How about that! The Ladies Man from "Cheers" and "Becker" wore a wig!!! He's not perfect neither, but he worked with what he had until he became a success. So the moral of the Ted Dansen story: the fact that he was bald didn't bother him, and sometimes he didn't use a wig (that's rare) but he looked past the fact that he was bald and worked on other things that could make him feel better about himself.

I don't know what you look like so I can be totally wrong here and if I am well nevermind, but, it sounds like you still carry some of the low self esteem of when you were younger, and you have grown and are still becoming a beautiful person. Everyone has something to contribute as to beauty, you just have to figure out how to embrace it. Then we guys can notice what makes you special!

AvihooI · Accepted Answer

(I'm a guy) It isn't too complicated. Yes, many girls in this world are physically unattractive, and to be honest with you, physical attractiveness (by physical, I mean looks but also smell, voice and other physical traits) is the most important thing to a guy when it comes to who'd rather he mate with. Many people would say "buy nice clothes" and stuff like that, but nice clothes only amplify the looks of a girl who's already attractive. So unless you have a seriously low self-esteem (which you shouldn't have even if you're ugly) or a psychological disorder that makes you see yourself differently, then yes, you're probably unattractive if you look at yourself in the mirror and think that you're unattractive. As for guys not apporaching you, some girls aren't approached to because they look intimidating to approach - for the matter, way too attractive girls are by far less approached than average good looking girls only because it's harder for the guy who's approaching to keep control with an extremely attractive girl.

But the positive side of it all is that many unattractive girls can turn attractive if they start working on their beauty - working out to lose excessive weight - girls can be chubby and extremely attractive at the same time - however, unproportional body mass index, or in other words, being "overweight" is the number one cause for a female to be unattractive and rightly so for health reasons. If you think you have an ugly skin, there are plenty of ways to improve skin quality which one of them is also working out. Go to a cosmetician and see what she recommends. Eventually, if you were unattractive you can still become somewhat attractive - especially if you work out and attain a great looking body. And on the final note, different guys have different tastes - I've seen attractive guys who have great self-esteem and great character who in my opinion are dating less than average girls in my view and I have no doubt that those guys find their female mates attractive or otherwise they wouldn't mate.

The second most important thing to guys is a girl's behaviour - a good rule of the thumb is to always feel confident, secure and comfortable but never too aggressive or loud.

Cheers, hope that helped - nothing that was said here is intended to make you feel worse but the other way round, it is however the truth in its entirety.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

UGH what a horrid comment by "darwin", but all it is, is a theory and if you make that your truth, it is a real downer. What a pathetic belief. Theories are just theories, and mankind is not intelligent enough to understand the complexities of life. One big problem with your theory is that women who are not attractive will have a harder time finding a mate and ulitimately will not reproduce. The chances of reproducing 'unattractive' people is still there, since men's attractiveness is much less based on any specific criteria . Also, the ratio of availability will never be equal, so even if the world was only full of beautiful people, there will be heartache and loneliness. And just because everyone is beautiful, does not mean someone will be attracted to you, as that is already happening...a man choosing one attractive woman over four other attractive women. And don't tell me that he chose her because of her personality, let's pretend they were all beautiful within and without. The complexities of attraction are too great too simplify on beauty and personality only. If we are going to talk about evolution weeding out the ugly and stupid only, and think we will have that perfection of everyone having a place or belonging to society, then you are overlooking complexities of emotions, feelings, and uniqueness...a perfect world only if we are all robots made exactly the same way inside, which leads me to think it is the inside that really matters most in the end.

This post is by someone who is NOT at all good looking, as a matter of fact, kind of unattractive and not in a pleasing way. Also I am NOT a confident, assured successful person, but most of that is because I am and have been extremely sensitive to judgement and took other people's judgement to be my reality. It is and was opinions of shallow cave people and my lack of self esteem that made me feel ugly and stupid. I needed approval by people, by men especially, if I did not get it, it meant I'm a failure. I worked at getting a man and although I think he is good looking, and he is very intelligent, I find him sexy and despite our genes have produced two very typically beautiful people, and intelligent who are now old enough for the selection of a mate, and the choices my daughter has made so far, I do not find attractive inside or out, but she does. As a matter of fact she rivals them in the brain dept also.

I don't believe for a minute that if we lived in a world of only beautiful and intelligent that internal pain would be eradicated. Your theory is missing, it is your opinion only, based on frustration with society or based on arrogance, but I guess neither the 'beautiful' or 'ugly' that you preach to will be here in another million years to prove your theory wrong.

If I am gone, how will the beautiful know they are beautiful? And there will ALWAYS be different kinds of beauty and that will ALWAYS be judged. The beautiful will judge the beautiful, and the judged will be the new ugly.

baylee21 · Accepted Answer

I can completely relate to how you are feeling. However, in my life, no one tells my I'm pretty. I am ugly; all the people at school are always making fun of me because I'm "fat". I only put that in quotations because I am not like the 300 pound girl, I am smaller than a lot of girls at my school, but I just get picked on a lot. Anyway, by the way you are writing, you are not ugly! If people are telling you that you are pretty, then you are! You need to learn how to except compliments! I know this may seem hard, especially for having a low self-esteem, but guys mat like you and you just don't know about it.

I can bet that probably every person in this world has sometime in their life thought that they were ugly. Sure, you probably are to some people, we all are! I know I think people are ugly, so people may think the same about you. It's just how humans are! You need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. They don't matter! It is only you that has to think you are beautiful, we all are in our own way! There are certain things we all don't like about ourselves and others. It's ok, and we just have to except that.

Hope I helped!!

Godprincess · Accepted Answer

I read everyone comments and I am truly blessed. I just finished crying(seriously).

To answer your question, you are beautiful. I had the same problem you had. Older women told me I was beautiful too, but I didn't receive those kind of compliments from my peers. But you have to ask yourself who are you going to believe. The devil tears down, but God builds up. Who are you going to believe God or Satan? Satan is liar. Whatever tears you down came from the enemy, which makes it a lie.

You are God's princess and He loves you. Like "the worstyeaever "said several comments below mine "no child of God is ugly." Believe that.

darwin · Answer

Its important to understand that nature kills off ugly people. Its called, natural selection. A healthy person with good genes and hi testosterone/pheromone (i.e., hot) will find it easy to reproduce and take advantage of opportunities that are invisible to less attractive people. Ugly people will fade and diminish with time. There's an entire world of passion and sexual adventure where average people are not welcome. This means that eventually as races intermingle, slowly weeding out the unattractive, that the world will consist of mostly beautiful light brown skinned people. Sounds ridiculous but that's where nature is headed.

Servitude is the realm of the lesser. Most learn to settle for inner happiness based on helping others, personal achievment and good moral values. But its not as exciting or rewarding as a life filled with sexual passion, warm regards from your peers, genuine sense true elitism and the total feeling of belonging. Hot people have true support from nature. In addition, they are also welcome to seek the lesser forms of satisfaction previously mentioned, moral rightousness, pleasure helping others, etc.

Ask a hot chick how you look as she can afford to be honest in a way that the average person cannot. Most likely you're average or only moderatly attractive. If you're truly hot, youd know by now.

These words are not something you'll hear in school but nature doesn't favor everyone. Her job is brutal and impersonal but ultimately, once there is only beauty left, we as a species will be better off.

Faith can help, but ultimately unattractive people must accept and learn to survive in spite of the disfavor of nature. There are many injustices our civilization seeks to eliminate. Hunger, slavery, racism. So far, prejudice against ugly people is not on the list. We constantly objectify and reward beautiful people and ignore the less attractive. (OT, we still slaughter and eat animals too)

We have a long way to go and even then, nature will not yield its hand. Ugly people will always be persecuted (or more honestly, executed) by nature. Mentaly, physicaly, and emotionaly through slow toturous rejections and denial of reproductive activity.

While this is more than you asked, its a common issue for young people that function under the false ideas of natural justice, rightousness or fairness. There really aren't any of these ideals in nature. However, its helps to understand that its not personal. Very little is, in life. But you need to learn to cope and to do that you need to understand the realities of the system you exist in.

All this applies to males in the form of looks, but includes aggressiveness and stature of power/control to a higher degree.

This type of bold writing is easy to criticize and dismiss. However, it should be thoughtfully considered.

Good luck, and to me, in your struggle to survive and create a world for yourself that's worth living in, you ARE magnificent and beautiful

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. You're not ugly but the way you think about yourself is unattractive. Self esteem and self confidence truly come from within. When you seek validation externally, I. E. From other people, you're setting yourself up for failure. No matter what your appearance, if you take care of yourself and do the best you can with what you have, you're good. BUT, the MOST IMPORTANT THING about feeling attractive is positive thinking and believing that you're all that. Whether other people think so or not. THAT'S what's attractive. Confidence and the energy you put out in the universe from that.

It will draw people to you but you must fake it till you make it. In other words, you must work on your attitude and distorted thoughts until you get it right. Then, you will see results. Walk with your head held high. Make good eye contact with people. Strangers. And smile lots. People are drawn to positive energy because other people feel good when around that. Looks truly are skin deep. Have you ever met someone who is not appealing to you physically but once you got to know his personality, he seemed beautiful?

Sure it would be nice if we all had the body we wanted but any boy/man drawn to a person based soley on their physical appeal is not someone you need in your life. Physical chemistry is important but that typically comes from within also. It's how you make a person feel when they are around you that is important. You can't possibly expect someone to be drawn to you and feel good around you when you feel so poorly about yourself. Work on it. You're a smart girl. I can tell that by how you articulated your question. Learn this lesson while you are young because I know precisely what I'm talking about and you don't need to waste years of your life with low self-esteem and self-confidence washing all over you everyday.

Best of luck, cutie. By the way. Older women don't tend to comment on a persons beauty just to be nice. They've come too far in life to worry about helping someone feel better by lying to them. They speak the truth. Trust it. But most of all, don't rely on external validation. Take are.

steve2chill · Answer

Well I was just wondering the same question about myself when I was browsing and ask the same question on Google and found your comment, obviously we all compare our selves to others and make judgement on ourselves from our own perspective, or from what society has told us is attractive. Well I cannot say if your are attractive physical/ features but from what have wrote I can tell a part of your personality which is cute. I put up my pic on person.com because there is a hot or not section on there where people only vote a score on your looks it is a free site but be aware that judgments vary from people to people I have had some people give me ten out of ten and some only give me 4 out of ten so basically your score is averaged out to give your overall score, it does take a while for 30 or so votes, it took 6 months for me, You also score other people on weather you think they are hot or not.. If you don't mind being judged I would check this out it might boost your self esteem or it may not...

I hope I have been of help to you..

Regards Steve...

PaulaTheDreamer · Answer

I don't think that you're ugly.

Ok, first of all, there's no such thing as being completely ugly. People have different views and the same person might look stunning to someone and incredibly ugly to another.

I move a lot and all my life I never thought of my appearance that much, I just thought I was average.

Then I moved to one place where people complimented me all the time and that's when I began to see myself as beautiful.

I moved somewhere else again and where I am currently, almost nobody compliments me.

That made me think, you know, am I ugly? I kind of had periods of very low self-esteem but I chose to look at myself in a good way. I feel good about myself and people notice it when you're confident.

I tend to have a different taste in boys. Of course I see the beauty in the popular ones, but they're not the ones I like best.

I find it VERY attractive when a guy is confident and just has a charming personality.

Personality definitely makes a difference.

When it comes to girls, I talk to my brother a lot about who he thinks is hot or not, and sometimes the most beautiful ones to me, are purely average to him.

Like I said, it's a matter of point of view.

So what I'm trying to say is: Learn how to love yourself. Find something in you that you like and value it. Feel confident, of course there will be times of low self-esteem, but just try to enjoy life. Work on your personality and be nice to people, I'm sure you will look like the most beautiful woman on the planet to somebody.

Need extra help building up your confidence? Buy new clothes, get a haircut, listen to good music... I'm not a big fan of make-up.

Good luck! (:

Opalivian · Answer

Does it matter if your pretty or ugly? I always make myself believe there is a balance of beauty. If your ugly on one part then your other part is the pretty side. I also do have self esteem issues, I would look in the mirror and say, wow I look ugly. Just stop worrying about it, the more you worry the worse you would make yourself ugly. My friends also say I'm handsome or fat, people are all different. One person would think your ugly and another would say I've never seen someone that handsome before. Everyone has different taste, and we are all different. I bet you have talents that your other friends can't do. They may be pretty but maybe you can sing or have a nice personality. Pretty girls arnt that great either, it's like having too much money. Everyone wants and needs money, so we look towards that goal, but if somehow you do get that whole lot of money you won't necessarily be happy. Besides, beautiful women are usually ignorant and become self interested. Beauty doesn't have to do with your face or posture. It's the thinking that makes you feel ugly. "I think ,therefore I am."

MiamiSuicide · Answer

Well it doesn't matter if ur ugly .. I have a high personal self of steem .. I'm a boy and I'm in 8th grade .. To be attractive  you have to wake up and say I'm pretty don't care about what people say .. And people will like you if you apreciate yourself and your body .. Once in a while complement ur self in front a people .. Be like hmm my looks good spiked up today or ironed looks pretty today but don't say it over and over it gets anoying when you start loving your self people will love you :) trust me and be clean .. Take a shower every morning .. Use colone) perfume .. Deoreant wear clean cloth and smile :) I learned that in middle school if ur negative people will hate being around you if ur positive people will think you have a lot to give and ur fun to be around with XD just be yourself don't be a pervert and be friendly sorry if I stayed off topic but a lot of people need to understand this ..and I've gotten lots of girls in my grades due to the fact that I love my self btw my name is Cris Martinez any question ask me

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly, if people always tell you ur pretty you probably are. I have the same problem. I think I'm so ugly most the time but all my friends tell me I'm super pretty, I usually think they're tryna be nice. If you've always had very low self confidence and see ugly at the littlest blemish anywhere on u,  you could have body dysmorphic disorder. But I'm not a doctor so I wouldn't know for sure. And guys don't seem to like me either. Guys might be intimidated by you because they could misinterpret ur low self confidence for being stuck up. Or guys maybe could like you, but your too unconfident that you don't realize it. I think that's my problem too. You should really just be yourself, and no matter how many times people say positive things about u, you'll never really feel confident till you say good things about yourself. Tell yourself your beautiful and know that you r. Be confident in yourself and guys will notice, and life is too short to be obsessed with how you look, just enjoy life and know that no matter what, you are beautiful.

Bobomon · Answer

It's impossible to tell if you're pretty or not, from anecdotes but I can tell you this.

You are not attractive enough. I can't say that you're ugly, but it should be simple enough to state that you are not attractive enough for boys to be knocking down doors to get to you. You'll need more.

I imagine the real problem is getting guys to "like like" you. The truth is that guys probably already like you, its just that you need to entice them to like you more. The solution is to notice which guys want to hang out with you a lot. If those guys are single, and hang around them a lot more. Most guys will interpret the positive attention as that you "like like" them. If they're not interested in you, they'll think you're just trying to be friendly.

Either way, eventually he will develop feelings for you and you'll get to know him better and perhaps develop stronger feelings for him. At this point it's inevitable. One of you will confess or make a move and it will go from there.

I hope this helps.

arthurcostigan · Answer

This answer is for guys, but it applies equally well to girls. Basically, it's simple: just pick up an age-appropriate popular magazine or clothing catalog. For example, if you are a 34 year-old man, try GQ, Esquire, or the Macy's Fall Sale Catalog. Look at the advertisements. Or, watch TV. If you look like any of the men there, you are attractive. If you don't , you're not. That's it! Like it or not, fair or not, that's the world. Advertisers have spent a lot of money, time, and effort to figure all this out. Don't try to redo their research. If you are overweight, it's even easier :-) Sorry, them's the facts! This doesn't mean you won't find a woman who likes you; it just means it will be harder for you than for other guys. When a woman thinks a guy is hot, about half will admit it. The other half will say: "He's so sensitive - really understands me, ..." Don't believe it, she just likes his 6-pack! Women don't fall in love with cash or personality. Like us guys, it's 90% looks. They'll make up the rest to sound politically correct.

Anonymous · Answer

Why do you worry so much? Seriously, relax and have fun with who you are!

I notice hot women (and men), I mean who doesn't? I struggled my whole life with depression and I've been alone a lot. I moved to this far out town when I was 18 to find a job, and shortly after getting the job - I was so miserable that I was thinking of ending my life. It had been 18 years and I didn't mean anything to anyone (no parents).

In the middle of that storm, I met a girl on the bus. Short story: small town, she seemed interested in me and wanted us to hang, suddenly I met her friends etc. and things started looking up. I didn't even care about her, I didn't SEE her even though she was right there. I was so out of it back then, nothing mattered. I was pretty sure I had lost the ability to feel.

After a few months, she's at my place showing me some music vids. Then she says something extremely dorky and typical of her, which I find hilarious and I LAUGHED! Big deal for me - I hadn't had that kind of laugh for years, if ever. And that was my life with her; laughter, friendship, support, trust... She changed everything and I love her, always will. It sounds like a cliche but I never even cared of how she looked, if she was typically hot or sexy. All I know is I wanted to bang her when she wore baggy jeans, skinny jeans, no jeans, pants with holes in them.. you know what I mean? I could wake up early in the morning and just gaze at her sleep because I couldn't comprehend how amazing she was. Her eyes were so blue, her smile extremely cute, but she was never the typical definition of pretty - and I'd never want her to be cause she's perfect.

You should see A walk to remember or something - try to open your mind and eyes. The most fantastic thing in a girl is to watch her happy and be independent of others opinions.

dellie · Answer

Okay well you seem really nice and caring so I say get a mirror and stand in front of it because my mom did this to me once I had to stand in front of it till I believed in my self that I was beautiful even if it was just one thing but it worked so much for and I love my body and if you don't do some exercise or put on make up and maybe a skirt during the summer one guy has to find you attractive because you sound attractive and if old women come up that don't even know you and say that your pretty then you are cause a old women wouldn't do unless it was true

kiki-baby · Answer

I know how you feel when I was younger my brother would make fun of me all the time and call me ugly, but then later on I found out that he's an asshole and some brothers are to their little sisters. but that stopped a long time, but it still kind of sticks with you. it wasn't nice for him to say that or for any guy to say that to you or any other young girl, but boys are stupid and they don't know what they are saying most of the time. so believe people when they say you're pretty its a good ego boost. plus guys love a girls who's confident in herself, so if you think you're pretty then other guys will too.

meeshelle · Answer

Half of the answers I am hearing from you people is disgusting. How can you put people down that way? Its sh*t like this that can cause people to commit suicide. Would you really wanna trigger that?  You know who the really ugly people are? They are the people that are ugly on the inside. Shitty personalities like the people that are writing back on this site. It is so sad to see what the world has come to. I hope you all get karma for the stupid sh*t you say.

Anonymous · Answer

You'd be surprised with how many people of both sexes are wondering the same thing. There really isn't a definition of pretty, handsome, and attractive. People have personal likes and dislikes, although some are more common then others.

Many people, including myself, sometimes get offended when they receive compliments. It's about being happy with how you look, and then others will pick up on your self confidence.

People also pick themselves apart. I know I have an eye that closes more then the other, but I am the only one that notices it. Start looking at yourself in the mirror and looking for things that make you beautiful, and tell your self that in a mantra everyday. It will raise your self-esteem.

xokaylaxxmarie · Answer

Honestly, you're probably attractive but you just don't know it. When you said,"I wonder that if I'm so "pretty" then how come guys don't like me." Guys' main focus is sex, no matter how you look at it. They always go for easy girls that they know they can get it  from. Girls who have real personality always think there's something wrong with them, but it's shallow guys who make them feel that way. The best thing you can do is be yourself, and relax. I have a lot of guy friends, so I know how they are :P  A real, good guy will love you for you. Yes its corny, but it's the truth, and I think one guy who loves you for everthing you are is waaaay better than a bunch of guys who tell you you're pretty, and don't really care about you. I've been dating my boyfriend for three years, and I don't care about other guys and what other people think of me, because I know he thinks I'm beautiful, and that's all that matters. I hope this helps! Keep your head up :) God bless!

iNerdieBitch · Answer

To Tell you the truth ithink your Really Pretty but the problem is is that when you were younger you feed after people calling you that and you don't let it go that's what I'm going through rite now I Believe that if we and all people that have self -esteem issue I want to tell you guys just hang in there if a guy doesn't want us Shove it off our shoulders and move on because one day we are going to meet the man of our dreams.. Don't get surgery to look pretty be happy for who you are and how god made you.!

dickoi · Answer

I want you to read this it's very important. I was considered ugly but stil I had  girlfriends, once I came US, I never went out, I barely had friends and I never had a girlfriend for almost three years. If  you go to movies, racing track or any place like that, depend of your age, make new friends, get in the game. Remember...spend your money on buying clothes and things to make you better than everyone else. If you look better, you will get friends easy and through these friends people will see you. Isn't that simple?

theworstYEARever · Answer

I know you are not def not ugly. I feel the exact same way, but deep down, I know I'm not ugly. I'm just not as pretty as the other girls, but, I think I have a very likable personality, and I bet you're very beautiful in body, mind, and spirit. God will love you no matter what, and that should be all that matters. But it is human nature to want to feel accepted and attractive. No one should have to feel the way you do, but unfortunately, much of society is cruel. You are just insecure, but you're not ugly. You are beautiful, and most of all you are a child of god. And no child of god is ugly.

Inhaler · Answer

I thought I was ugly, too. But I didn't know for sure...so I decided to jump into the shark tank and I joined a site called ratemybody.com. I knew people would be "Brutally honest".  And, of course they were.  On a scale of 1 to 10 I got a 3: fugly.  It hurt ,yes but I was also relieved to know. Now I can stop caring and worrying and fretting.  I AM UGLY TOO .some people are some aren't.  So, if you really want to know abuot your physical beauty I would suggest asking some cruel superficial people like that...If you were to ask me I would try to look for anything attractive about you at all.  I bet there's a whole lot more to you than looks.And, who knows? Maybe it's all in your head. Maybe you just have low self esteem.

no_clue · Answer

brutally honest is that I don't know because I have not seen you and I am not female so I don't know the games women play

I can tell you this, and maybe it will help...

as a guy the only one that has EVER told me I was handsome was my mom

Therefore, after 43 years, the last 15 being single, I can only conclude that I must be a DOG

That being said, the answer I usually hear is that women are not as fickle as men about looks and want to get to know a man from the inside out... So I must be ugly and an ass otherwise I would have not been single for the past 15 years.

Or maybe, just maybe, our low self confidence is what repels the opposite sex

I know when I was younger, late teens and early 20's, before I was married...I was an ignorant but self -confident person and back then, having dates and getting "laid" was NEVER an issue... so maybe it is more what we think we are than actually what we think we appear to be!

I've always had very low confidence?

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