Its ruining my life (especially my relationship). I've always had little to no confidence and low self esteem. I only feel pretty (and a little confident) when i get all dolled up, the rest of the time i feel shitty and i look shitty.
Anyway I've been with my boyfriend for ten months. He loves me and that made me feel very comfortable around him just being me, but this only applies to him. To everyone else, im still the same old girl drowned with insecurities. Im scared of being judged, i feel uglier when im surrounded with hot women (especially when im with my boyfriend), and overall i am aware im not attractive, and its not just looks but also my personality, im very dull/shy/lame when im around other people who aren't close to me. All this had lead me to successfully avoid meeting my boyfriend’s family, even when he badly wants me to (but says he understands: he just thinks it makes me nervous, which it does but its more than that), and i avoid going to the beach with him because of all the other half naked women around. I dont mind if he’d go without me, but i dont wanna be there with him. Although he never did because he said he wants to go with me. He loves the beach and it makes me feel bad. Obviously he doesn’t know any of how i feel because it’s embarrassing. Other than things relevant to me being insecure, we get along very well. We make each other laugh, we spoil each other, we have good communication.. we’re just completely in love. I do know our relationship (and my life) would undoubtedly be better and happier if i didn't let fears and insecurities control me this much.
Which leads me to my question.. how do you deal with your fears and insecurities? How do you control it instead of letting it control you?
Anyway I've been with my boyfriend for ten months. He loves me and that made me feel very comfortable around him just being me, but this only applies to him. To everyone else, im still the same old girl drowned with insecurities. Im scared of being judged, i feel uglier when im surrounded with hot women (especially when im with my boyfriend), and overall i am aware im not attractive, and its not just looks but also my personality, im very dull/shy/lame when im around other people who aren't close to me. All this had lead me to successfully avoid meeting my boyfriend’s family, even when he badly wants me to (but says he understands: he just thinks it makes me nervous, which it does but its more than that), and i avoid going to the beach with him because of all the other half naked women around. I dont mind if he’d go without me, but i dont wanna be there with him. Although he never did because he said he wants to go with me. He loves the beach and it makes me feel bad. Obviously he doesn’t know any of how i feel because it’s embarrassing. Other than things relevant to me being insecure, we get along very well. We make each other laugh, we spoil each other, we have good communication.. we’re just completely in love. I do know our relationship (and my life) would undoubtedly be better and happier if i didn't let fears and insecurities control me this much.
Which leads me to my question.. how do you deal with your fears and insecurities? How do you control it instead of letting it control you?
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