How to deal with jelousy?

Question

hello everyone! im a young girl and i recently began dating and i often feel way too jealous than i should be. it comes from my insecurities caused by my past relationships, bullying etc. either way, i collected some tips that i will share here but if you can share your methods or advice on how to deal with jealousy or insecurity it would really really help em and everyone reading this thread. ok so:

1. communicate with ur partner! let ur partner know about ur past and insecurities so you can see what both of you can do about it

2. find a hobby. distract yourself. at first you'll be thinking about your problem while doing the hobby but eventually you'll focus on the hobby itself and feel better. plus, if they really are cheating on you, u should focus on urself and ur hobbies etc. but even if they aren't the hobby will help u get rid of jealousy and it is good for any scenario you're in.

3. find friends. this might be harder for all you introverts out there but people and their support can help a lot. just simply people telling you they're there for you and that this is normal what you feel and for them to give you their reasurment and perspective on the situation an help with any problem. this can be done virtually, though chats, voice channels, or in real life maybe even on therapy.

GOOD LUCK comment questions u have or other advice u can recommend

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Okay the first thing you need to do is you need to have confidence you need to be happy you need to be smart you need to be intelligent you need this field to smile and you need to believe in yourself once you have that confidence to do all the above you are gold because you know down in your heart that you are the best you can be in a relationships is 50/50 you do your 50% and more and the guy does 50% and more you prove to each other how much you like each other if they cannot do that then you don't want to be with them

You have to understand you cannot control anybody nor do you ever want to and you don't want anybody trying to control you either

When you're with a guy and he starts talking to another girl you have to know down in your heart it doesn't matter because he's with you and if he doesn't make you feel that way then you should not be with him that means you don't trust him

When you were with somebody it's because you know in your heart that he loves you he likes you he wants to be with you if he makes you feel any other way why do you want to be with him then walk away don't think it's good to fix itself walk away have that confidence inside

People say relationships are 50/50 well it's a little bit different than that but it's a good saying relationships is what you make it you put in it your 50% plus more and you understand that you've done everything in your power to become the best person you can become for this person if they don't make you feel the same way walk away get out of it because it's never going to work

Once you are confident in yourself you know you can do anything you know you can handle anything you know you can accept anything or you can walk away from anything it might hurt a little bit but that little bit of pain is better at that moment than somewhere down the road you have to believe in yourself 100%. Once you do that then you can believe in anybody when they mess up you can call it a mistake or a mess up or you can look at it as it's bullshit and they're trying to tell you who they are exactly they're showing you the proving it to you it's not a mess up they're thinking of only themselves they did not care that they hurt you that's when you walk away you don't get jealous about it you walk away it's that simple there's so many people in this world that would love to be boyfriend don't just settle get what you want by being confident in yourself first being jealous doesn't do anything except for make you look silly be confident and you have all the power in the world

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Jealousy is your problem, and at the same point it's a factor your partner needs to be aware of. Jealousy in SMALL doses is flattering. It says to your partner that you value them. But in large doses it's very unattractive and can be downright problematic.

To me it's real simple. You need to communicate to your partner your feelings. This way he knows specifically what gives you feelings of jealousy. And it's his DUTY to do absolute best to assuage those feelings. Now after this you have to accept and TRUST him. Because a relationship cannot endure without trust. If you find this impossible then you need to reconsider being in a relationship with him.

TransAm85 · Accepted Answer

I think #1 is very good. Communication matters a lot. I've been married 9 years, but my husband is still the possessive and jealous type. I dk all of his past relationships, but he knows everything about me. I nvr hid anything from him. But u r still very young. If u already have jealousy issues, I think this social media is to blame. Stop going on FB or TikTok lol. That's a fantasy world. Do #2 and find a hobby.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This may be a controversial opinion but I think that a little bir of jealousy in a relationship can be healthy

It's an innate characteristic in all humans and therefore its not something you should try to rid yourself

So long as it's not leading you to be self destructive or destructive towards your partner

chicosuave · Answer

I love jealousy In girls it makes me feel desired. Well not to the part where I can't have friends or where I go and such then it will become a problem.

monkeynutts · Answer

It can take time, you got to acknowledge it, and create a strategy of how you can direct that negative energy into something functional, and rational, because much of the time your emotions are unwarranted.

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

These tips seem like good pain killers but it will come back, the only way to heal this type of pain is time

LooneySins · Answer

I think openness is important! No reason to hide your feelings :) Could you check out some of my questions? I am looking for advice and support.

Wise4myage · Answer

Everything you said makes a lot of sense, and it sounds like you have learned a lot. Believe in yourself and you will be fine.

melanieeeB · Answer

Honestly I think, that you shouldn't be dating for a while, work on yourself, figure out who you wanna be (you're what 16? Take your time) , get more confident and then you can go out and date healthy

dustybiker · Answer

Keep in mind boys your age have raging hormones (just like woman, but less tendency to want to control it in some cases). They will look at other girls. Talk to other girls. Enjoy their company while you have them. Don’t expect solid commitment, that’s asking a lot when so young. Keep your expectations loose for a few years yet.

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

Short answer: you kinda don't

Longer answer: you get used to life not giving you what you want and having zero expectations while also not feeling entitled to anything, even if you think you earned it, whatever happens literally happens

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Jelousy happens a lot when younger skf first dating cos innocent I'm was and little insacure just need to think there with you because they want to be and vice versa

boobliker · Answer

you can't i have a partner who get jealous and it springs in to play anywhere and for any reason too! what i know now i would of split up days after had i seen what it can do! if they could channel it for good we live i a wondaful world...

Anonymous · Answer

Realize that everyone is shit and unneeded. Then when they let you down, like they always do… you will not be surprised.

EffaMan · Answer

I hate jelousy :(

chocomilk99 · Answer

A medium size smile always work for me

WhitneySnow · Answer

Good advice

SidiouslyInVader · Answer

Gotta accept yourself first I think.

Light909090 · Answer

LMFAO

How to deal with jelousy?

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