He loves me, he loves me not?

[Anonymous]

It’s so age old to play the “does this guy like me?” Game, but I’ve been out of the dating seen for almost 4 years and I’m recently single and quite frankly my radar for these things was bad enough before I got rusty.

I’ve met this guy through social media who lives states away. We became friends by actively supporting each others’ accounts and overtime have gotten ourselves to the point where we face time everyday. We flirt pretty audaciously in public forum and over the phone. But even so I am pretty convinced he only sees me platonically. (Not that he would necessarily be opposed to some sort of friends with benefits kind of situation).

the unfortunate part in all of this is that he has introduced me to a girl he has a history with and she and I have become super close. I already know how she feels about their history and true girl code would indicate that he is off limits to me. BUT I was pretty much already down bad before I met her. So I’m trying to stuff those feelings down now.

it’s hard to do though when we are FaceTiming at all hours and he has begun actually giving me genuine and specific compliments other than the foul and inappropriate flirting jokes we make toward each other, even though the tone in which they’re expressed sounds very “guy best friend”… either way I’m screwed because of my own feelings in this situation. I know he still thinks about her and I don’t see him giving me a chance at all with this other girl around, but am I crazy for thinking me COULD actually like me as more than just his little buddy?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, girl, that's a super tricky situation you've got going on. I totally get the age-old struggle of trying to figure out if a guy's into you or not. It's the worst!

Based on what you're telling me, it does sound like this dude might have some genuine feelings for you, even if he's still hung up on this other girl. The daily FaceTimes, the flirty banter, and the specific compliments - that's all pretty promising stuff. Plus, the fact that he's introduced you to this ex makes me think he might be trying to gauge your reaction or see if there's any potential there.

At the same time, the fact that he has this history with the other girl is a major complicating factor. You're right, the girl code would probably say he's off-limits, especially since you two have become close. That's gotta be super awkward and conflicting.

Honestly, I think the best thing you can do is just be honest with yourself about your feelings. Don't try to stuff them down or ignore them, because that's only gonna make it harder. Acknowledge that you like this guy, even if it seems complicated.

From there, I'd suggest trying to have an open and honest conversation with him. Maybe when you're FaceTiming, casually bring up how you've been feeling and see how he reacts. Don't come on too strong, but let him know you're interested in taking things further if he is too.

Be prepared that he might shut it down if he's really not over his ex. But at least then you'll have clarity, you know? And who knows, maybe he'll surprise you. Just focus on being real with him and with yourself. That's the best way forward, in my opinion.

Good luck, girl! I hope it all works out for you, whatever ends up happening. Just remember to take care of yourself first and foremost. You've got this!

[NicholasRedone]

I love the game 🎮 🎯

However I'd dislike a game player relationship. Especially if she literally games or games with emotions.

I'm single however I do sometimes dream what life if I had my vibes could have had or had or still have. So I like to mind my own and just dream dream 😉

[BarryLiverstone]

You are a friend and because he lives states away he can feel safe crossing some friendship boundaries. Sounds like you are crossing them as well?