Why does dating at the beginning feel like a job interview 😐 ?

[Anonymous]

[OneViewpoint]

Because it is a job interview if you meet on a dating app or cold approach at a bar. Less so if you meet as part of a friend group and get to know each other over a longer period of time before you start dating and you have people who can vouch for you.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because it is like a job interview.

[MrOracle]

It's the MOST IMPORTANT kind of job interview.

Unless you are both just looking for casual temporary fun (with all the baggage that entails), then you are looking for a serious, long-term relationship, and in that case, morals, values, and life-goals really, REALLY matter. Those are what makes or breaks long-term compatibility. It wouldn't matter if the other person has the most perfect, most ideal looks or personality or status or income - none of those things will matter without long-term compatibility. In fact, people break up with extremely attractive people every day, not because they became less attractive on the outside, but because those superficial things don't matter without long-term compatibility.

And the only way you're going to find out about long-term compatibility is to VET every potential partner for their morals, values, and life-goals. The vetting process is nearly identical to vetting a potential new employee, yes, but arguably even more important than that.

Generations ago, your family would be involved in the vetting process, but we decided we wanted to be in charge of who we dated ourselves, without parents involved, so, yes, that entire process is now our own responsibility, and our outcomes are going to be heavily affected by how well we perform the vetting process. If we fail to do a good job, our long-term outcomes are very likely to be bad, as we see with our own eyes every day.

[sawno]

Because its the same thing, I treat my job interviews like dates with a great track record. Interviewers appreciate it when you know what your about and can paint an accurate picture of what you want from the company as well as what you can add to it. It makes their job much easier than if they are merely interrogating me neither does that style give them a chance to completely dominate the interview. Dates are the same, if she was going to interrogate me one sided djob interview style that's a bad dynamic so I'd naturally make sure that's not happening and if it did happen there would not be a followup.

[PrincessC16]

It's just because you are both trying to get to know each other. That's all. And if you find that it's taxing to go through this process, then maybe it's time for you to step back from the dating scene. Until you are ready to go back through the process.

[Asker]

Why don't you start dating younger high value men so you can feel young again 🫠🙃

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Communication is the key & when it comes to dating or a relationship keeping a conversation going is a wonderful thing as well. As for dating in the beginning if it feels like a job interview change things up before things get boring or the interview doesn’t go so well. When sparks fly you will know it & if you find someone you can get silly & stupid with treasure that person.

[alice55]

That's mostly when people are not able to find a common topics to talk about that it feel like this once you find a common topic to talk about it usually stop feeling like a job interview except if they're the kind of people wanting to know everything. Personally I'm curious but I generally wait for them to open up rather than ask hundred of question, I don't want to make them uncomfortable or force them to open when theyre not ready for

[andreasderjuengere]

Heh heh... you're right.

It is, because... this mad century has made this procedure a rite.

It's one's own problem to join in with that.

The good news: there's still room to make one's own rules :)

[Abbycado]

Hadn’t noticed. When I started dating my boyfriend, we just hung out and got to know each other through conversations.

[Asker]

Dating is like a constant job interviews.

[Anonymous]

Everytime she asks me "where do you see yourself in five years". There's an inner voice inside me screaming, "don't say doing your mom" "don't say doing your mom".

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Because your getting to know each other and the habits you have after that period of time it's like living with a best friend

[Asker]

Best friend or best friend from Hell if things don't work out in the long-term

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Lol true

[Stotch]

Because of demand and supply.
When there's an abundance of single men and unemployed compared to single women and available jobs, then those single women and employers can be more demanding.
More boys are born, few die and less babies are born every year, so you can't easily date down a few years in age to compensate for the numbers anymore either, which is how it used to work.

[oldpigg]

I wouldn't have a relationship with a woman who had a bad college degree.

[Wayneg89]

It literally is. You're interviewing for the the position of your partner in a "company" called your relationship.

[rosemilk]

because it is. you're looking for someone who would be the best fit for you.

[Anonymous]

Because you aren't dating people you stumble across and click with organically. False starts are false starts. They feel unnatural because they are.

[msg321]

If you are just looking for a partner to have sex then it is normal you don't like this but it is pretty normal if people are looking for a serious relationship.

[Shiprex]

Because you're a guy. It's like shopping for girls.

[jackieistired]

Because you care, it’s a good sign. Be concerned when you’re apathetic

[tzdc21]

Because it essentially is lol

[slatyb]

If it does, you're doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

They've been like that for a while.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I hate first dates for a reason

[In_Trance]

because that's what you make it out to be

[Anonymous]

What do you mean? For example?

[SolitarySolace]

Because of feminism